Observe Dont Absorb by Julianna Rowe, aka Diane Ogden

About thirty-some-odd years ago, I gave my heart to pull a family back together.

My mentor always told me to be an observer and not a participant! Obviously, I didn't listen. It doesn't matter the reason the family was torn apart, but it was. I forgave, gave, pulled, plugged, and lost most of myself on that darn journey, only to discover they wouldn't change at anything I did. Nope, not, nadda. Incredibly stubborn Germans and Norwegians, and then add some of the "dead people" generational cells that LOVE to carry on the crap....and that they do with magnificence. (Wouldnt want to give them too much glory) 

There came a time back then when I decided to divorce my emotions from all of them before my heart took a dive, and one of my kinfolks might try for the last win and bury me in the dirt vs. cremation as I had requested. That particular kin fed me things I was allergic to, so why wouldn't that specific person bury me in the dirt? That person would so that they could have a big luncheon dealie to show off. That's what Lutherans do, you know.  Big luncheons for the living after the dying.

Back to my point. D I V O R C E.....where is George Jones's wife when I need her! What was her name? It starts with L...no a T, Tammy Wynette.  D I V O R C E. Even though my divorce was a divorce of emotions, it still stood for a legal and final separation. My mentor told me that I should maintain decency and kindness when I got divorced.  She said, "Treat it like you would treat the Grocery Store Checker Boy!" With decency and kindness.  Most people can barely do that in everyday family situations.

I say dysfunctional families are more like an egg. They "start out ass-es," and they stay ass-es. If you read my blog posts, you know how I dislike the raw egg laying in the pan with that white milky umbilical cord waiting for me to eat it. I don't, and I won't! Family is the same! We start with the umbilical cord, and someone cuts it, but the spiritual milky cloudy (ghosts) still try to hang on and hang out! Some can let them go, some cannot, and some try to work around the darn things. (The Ghosts, I mean) I did that, and it didn't work. I did do something wrong. I tried too hard. I should have OBSERVED only and saved myself.

Today was another should have OBSERVED only day. I wanted to play like Marie Osmond and drive up the coast (we have no coast) until there was no end or I ran out of gas. It was a long day—lots of "Stinkin Thinkin" and a lot of Drama from the Mama like a soap opera. (Obviously, I absorbed) I like creativity, not so much drama.  I had a lifetime of it, and enough is enough.

I’m emotionally ready for:  "Paper or Plastic?" Easy peasy. 

It's a new day, a good day, because I learned to observe not absorb.