Nightmare on Stratton.................by Diane Ogden

Well not exactly a nightmare, more like a string of dramatic exhausting events leading up to no solution as of yet. 
My littlest Grand-daughter spent the night last evening.  Usually this goes very well and so it did for about ten hours.  Kar fell asleep at 10:00 p.m. and was up at 5:00 a.m. asking if mommie was here yet.  Hitting my Grannie  button before my eyes were even open.  I then turned on some Disney princess cartoon that will ruin her life if she really listens to it.  But it did give me an extra half hour of rest.  At that time I snuck her "nay-nay" blanket away and soaked the sucked on corners in Mrs. Meyers Oxi, then hot water washed it.  It was about 3/4 the way thru the cycle (the plan was to wash it twice) when she suddenly noticed it was "MIA!"  I calmly told her it was in the washer getting all pretty for her.  How happy it is in the washer for her and so on.  She wasn't having it.  So I sat her on the dryer to wait for it, after showing her the happy "nay-nay" laying in the washer for her. Notsomuch! Check out those needing nay-nay tears. 

 

Then finally it stopped spinning and she got her hands on it!  There would be no putting "nay-nay" in the dryer.  Nope, Nadda, Not!

 

 

A bit happier huh?  Ya think?  Should have been there. OMG!

 

Then I decided to take her and the 6 lb dog to dunkin donuts as she loves that.  And I had caused enough upset washing nasty dirty "nay-nay."  So I dragged the forty pound car seat with the dog bed stacked on top of it and on top of that my purse....out the apt. and down the hall to the elevator, got stuck on the base of the elevator door opening, then across the garage floor to the truck.  Got it in, then I wont even go into trying to hook it all in properly.  Reading side directions where the ones in Spanish (pics) seemed to be easier to understand.  Then she climbed into the seat and I buckled her in.  I thought the buckle by her legs seemed to be a bit tight.  And then after getting the dog in her bed and buckled in I climbed in and stuck the spare key in, (I couldn't find my regular keys, add to the morning) and turned the spare key in the ignition and NOTHING!  New used truck is DEAD. How could this be.  How??  Why?  I almost had a breakdown for real.  Decided I could not have the breakdown I deserved so just tell Karli and move on. Please note her Mom's car broke down yesterday and she had to stand off the highway with her Mom for two hours waiting for help and now here it was happening again today.  Awful. Not to mention she was so excited about getting a donut.  Her little tears seemed more than sad. 

 

 

 Out came the dog, back out the dog bed, then to Karli and would you even believe I couldn't get her car seat straps off.  Got the top part off but no way was the bottom coming undone.  She said, "Mommie can do it!"  I thought to myself, what am I going to do?  I had locked the bottom latch in backwards.  I was ready to call 911 to get the kid out.  She was getting nervous and so was I.  I finally gave it all I had and got one side undone.  That gave me some room to get the other one out but not without sweat and believe me some hidden tears on the other side of the truck.

 

We are upstairs.  Settled back in.  Have no clue how to get the new used truck started on a Sunday.  I texted my grown Granddaughter but no response.  Karli fell asleep next to me her on the loveseat.  Dog on one side with Kar and Bobby the cat on the other arm.  And me, I am watching Four Weddings.  I have had three so I guess this is an appropriate show for me to watch this crazy morning.   Add it to the list.   (We are all just fine, merely a tad frazzled)  So....laters should be betters. 

 

 

Facebook....................by Diane Ogden

I wish I would have come up with the idea of face-book.

 


  That doesn't mean I don't enjoy facebook.  Because I do, most of the time. 

And I try not to criticize or unfriend anyone, although I have unfriended a few political nuts and a couple smart donkeys (butts).  There are the Grandma's who post sappy sayings 24/7 about Grandmothers and mothers.  The town crier who tells us  what the police scanner in her kitchen is saying all day and all night, as well as weather reports, and traffic accidents.

 The recipes that if truly eaten and not copy/ pasted are heart attacks on paper.  Cheeses, pasta, more cheese, bacon, all on top of potatoes.  Deserts after deserts after more deserts.  Babies, more sayings, more political hate.  I do love the video's of Veterans coming home to their happy pets!  OMG that is a "clean the body out cry" for sure!  Hate the sad beaten dog stories....... So why do I like facebook?    Idk either.  I like the connections with people from my grade school in Wisconsin, people from my Jr. High in Austin, Texas, people from my H.S. back in Wisconsin.... my clients, and a few of my relatives.  Plus I get to see all their friends and family if I chose to.  It creates a large circle of good.  I just kick out the cheese dogs and smart butts and human police ban radio announcer wannabee's.  Oh wait, I forgot the one that tells us when they wake up and how they feel, what they are cooking for dinner every Tuesday!  Corn, Mashed Potatoes, and burgers. I have read it so many times I got it now, it's mine. I even feel like I have eaten it too.  Then there are the people that need prayer which I offer up.  The photos of the children and adults that have beat cancer!  Those are great also.  I hit LIKE quite a bit because LIKE is a good positive word and I mean it when I click it.  Lest I forget the ones that ask me to re-post for an hour if I am a true friend.  OMG Stop that!  I do share from a site called Amazing Things of the World.  Amazing indeed.  And I share some photos of my dog and cat.  Sounds boring huh?  Well it really isn't because if I post a pic it is usually a dandy.  My dog in a stroller going for a walk or my cat Bob getting a rabies shot I really didn't want him to have as they cause tumors and he is an indoor cat... I like posting funny things mostly.  Sometimes a serious saying but not too often.  I also comment on others photos.  That can be disastrous so I am rather careful or so I think.  I can make appointments with my hairdresser on facebook.  I can get referrals from others on just about anything.  I love to see wedding photos, vacation photos, parties, birds, and all other happiness. Why people even post their home remodels from start to finish.  Its great. Except the bullies and the ones that call others a hoe. (sp) Makes a person feel a part of it.  Shared in. No not the "hoe" part, all the good posts. ha.  I inserted the bullies and hoe line as an afterthought and forgot what came after it....  I will leave it at that.  Nothing was funny enough to write about today so you get facebook, fiasco or fun?  I chose fun Fred.  (Fred is my fictitious imaginary friend I talk to when no one else is around.  P.S. Fred has a partner named Frieda too.   Another afterthought....  
I decided to post some pictures of myself like they do on facebook.  Only these are from the way back whens!  Oh and I had Tenderloin and cottage cheese for dinner, and there is a wreck on the beltline so take the west route, and your nobody unless your a grandmother, and Pray for everybody and everything, and my arm and leg hurts, and my neighbor is a hoe! And it might rain. EEwww, I think I need to defriend a few !!  Just kidding.  Have to get laughs from somewhere! 

 

                                                    OKAY that one is too funny!!

I couldn't just post the ugly ones!!

 

Playing Dressup with my friends wig back in the urban cowboy days late 90's

                                                                        2000

ONE MORE for the road Fred!... Except I cant find one for present time.  O well.... Later's...

 

 

                                                                        2011-2013

 

 

Smokin' Dope, The Neighbors Are!..................by Diane Ogden

Okay so the other morning I was preparing my God Bless-ed lunch for the work day, in my kitchen, under my ceiling vent, when I smelled something I had smelled at some point in my life or previous life before.  I swayed back and forth trying to find where the familiar odor was coming from, all the while trying to decipher how I even  recognized "it."   That is when out of the blue (must mean out yonder way) the answer came riveting into my brain cells among other cells.  That smell was Mara-ji-Juana! The WEED. How did I know this?  Because I am a BABY BOOMER (hello)  Okay so I toted a few times way backa when and all it did was make me sleep.   Except one time I laughed till it hurt everywh

ere.  And maybe another time I ate everything in site for an hour.... and maybe another time...
Given those cute small confessions I need to tell you, OMG I liked the smell of that familiar OLD relaxing odor that helps chemo patients stop peucking.  Helps patients in pain sleep.  Helps relieve so many medical problems for so many....and there it was coming thru my ceiling vent.  OMG how I wished I could bottle it as many others do.  I do wonder who is stopping the flow of this medicinal marijuana that could help so many.  And me too.  Heck I slept like baby that night and to think I was afraid the new moving in neighbors would keep me awake stomping around and around and around and.....oh oh more fumes....here we go again!  Just kidding!  Gawd......  Or not. 
Hey, U.S. imports pharmaceuticals from China with ass-phalt filters and dog food from China killing our animals, so big companies can make major profits off death and deceit and CEO's can pull off million dollar bonus's.  Oh dear I better not write this or I may not get that promotion, or I may get killed as some have .    All because I spoke the freedom of speech I am NOT entitled to anymore.  Guess I  just had a bad day huh?  Or is this real?  Or maybe I stood too long in my kitchen and got all drugged up from the ceiling vent.  Yup that has to be it....  DUH NOT!    (okay so I got a lil sniff) Its been provin it helps glaucoma patients too.  That is a good thing I would have to say.   So try not o judge me for "thinking" it is an erb that should be used to help people.   The vent just reminded me.  And who knows, they may have been cooking with a different erb that just reminded me of "the old days."  
P.S. I do not indulge in illegal anything.  Sometimes a certain odor brings back good and or bad memories!  So I made some jokes regarding one of mine.    Later's..... 

Nurses Concussion.................by Diane Ogden

Today was amazing.  Last night even better considering I did not sleep on wink!  I got to watch every infomercial on TV until three a.m. at which time I got to enjoy (not) Diane Garcia and what's his name give news to insomniacs all over the country for an hour or so.  My alarm went off at 5:45 at which time I did not want to get up.  Why?  I finally got sleepy!  Too late.  I ran around getting dressed, taking the dog out, grabbing some cottage cheese and  peaches and out the door to my 7:30 a.m. vascular leg ultrasound.  I showed up at 7:15.  No desks open yet.  So I found the correct room and sat in the only rocker trying to stay awake.  A woman asked me my name and informed me I was not on their roster of patients.  She then looked into it further and told me I belonged across town.  And it is now heavy traffic time.  I arrived at the proper place at 8:10 a.m. at which time they said they could do ONE LEG.  The nurse came in to do the standard pre appointment meeting of questions that get asked again anyway...   We got to talking and I couldn't help but start in with my joke lines....  I just cant help it if I get an audience of at least one and there she was live and in color.  She mentioned she is from a farm and somehow I mentioned my grandmothers farm and how my grandmother always smelled like cheese! The nurse lost it, threw her head back laughing so hard she hit it on the corner of a wall joint really hard.  She is then squinting in pain holding her head with both her hands while I am trying to explain how Grandma used to have a milk separator where she separated the crème from milk and made butter too. I have said that line before and every time people crack up but no one ever got hurt. LOL.  Then she asked me if I was still taking the meds listed.  I saw the one anti depressant and told her NO WAY!  I took that dang pill one day last week and never again.  It hated me and I hated it and not to worry, I didn't and wont kill myself, I just cut my hair.  (Big mistake!) 

So then onto the ultrasound room.  The "ultrasounder" person was a young woman (she wasn't bald like the photo ha) who proceeded to tell me all about her latest day care problems.  I tried to stop her because I am done with those days.  Not to be mean.  Just done with the baby times.  That is when I interceded to tell her how I used the rest room before I came into her room.  That I usually always "squat" as most women do but figured it was early and no one had used it yet.  So I sat on down!
And when I stood up my tooshie was all wet with someone else's U R I N E!  How sweet-notsomuch.
Now that tech doctor is laughing and so it went on.   After the ultrasound I was placed in a room to wait for Dr. Hammasagghi.  I read the material regarding surgery for my possible condition depending up on the laughing ultrasound results.  Then I got bored and obviously I was beyond tired from no sleep so I decided to find some music on my smart phone.  I almost never listen to music on my smart phone.  I find it and begin listening to a Patti Page album at which time Dr. Hammasagghi walks in.
I got so nervous I pushed the side button which is the lite duh... Then apologized and said how I couldn't find how to shut it off.  He said it was okay.  NO IT WASN'T!  We couldn't talk over Patti Page singing Little Green Apples loudly!!   He laughed and said, "Smart Phone?"  I said, "Obviously smarter than I am!"  I told him I may have to sit on it to silence it.  Actually all I had to do was turn it down but I got so darn flustered I couldn't think of it.  Finally I held the button down until it shut off.   That is when Dr. Hammasagghi told me I needed surgery.  On both legs.  The main vein in each leg needs to be heated up and shut down.  Terrific.  That means two surgeries he said, "One leg at a time!"  Heck I am working on simply living "One day at a time!"  O'well, I we had fun anyway....from wrong clinic, to Grandma smelled like cheese, to nurse banging her head on the wall laughing, to sitting in someone else's urine, to Patti Page singing to Dr. Hammasagghi....and me forgetting how to turn my own phone off.   Now I am going to sleep and wake up laughing.  Later's.....  Be well, be safe, be happy, and get rich so you can take time off to have necessary surgeries!  Oh and people to help when its over!

Riding Dead Horses...............by Diane Ogden

So this is ME!  But I am changing it TODAY!

Great list from Daniel Gullo in agile-leaders@googlegroups.com group that i read today. I must share it

Ways to remediate failed projects (aka dead horses):

1. Change riders.
2. Appoint a committee to study the horse.
3. Arrange to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
4. Increase the standards to ride dead horses.
5. Appoint a tiger team to revive the dead horse.
6. Create training to increase riding ability.
7. Change the requirements declaring that “This horse is not dead.”
8. Hire contractors to ride the dead horse.
9. Harness several dead horses together for increased speed.
10. Form a quality circle to find uses for dead horses.
11. Say this horse was procured with cost as an independent variable.
12. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.
13. Outsource the dead horse to a low-cost country.

I play with Numerology.  Numbers - Letters = energies.  My lifepath is a 9!  That is an exceptional number.  It tells my and anyone else who has that life path number a story.  My story is that I am a natural giver.  I have executive leadership qualities.  I am a humanitarian.  I cant let go of the past.  I may have issues with a parent or parents that abandoned me or that I felt totally responsible for....  and so on. Might I focus on the sentence that said I cant let go of the past.  Indeed.  I have tried to ride about a hundred or more dead horses in my life.  When a relationship or marriage ends I am forever trying to figure it out vs letting it go.  I am a fixer.  So there lay the dead marriage or job on the ground and I am trying to straddle it, get a leg under it and wrap myself around it like its going to get up and walk again.  Notsomuch!  Have you ever seen a dead horse laying on the ground?  How would one get one's leg under that "ton of dead."  I must think its easier to try to ride the dead horses than move on.  Obviously fear of the unknown is more fearful than laying around with dead horses. Or I may have an advanced case of over-ANALysation of issues.

I was praying last night.  I asked God for some extra wisdom.  Actually I asked for some genius mentality for a bit of time so I could figure out why I continue to ride dead horses.  And why I walk into back yards with biting dogs more than once.  Throughout life I have eyes in my donkey (ars)....I see things very clearly after they have passed.  I need to see them clearly before they enter not after.  My eyes are nearer my brain then my donkey (ars).....so what's with the backwards act?  Yes I have dyslexia.  Could that be it?  I turn right when someone says left.  I bat left handed but I am right handed?  I have to rearrange certain numbers to add them more quickly.  Yup its true. Could be a minute part of this 8 x 10 glossy.  Yet most folk get it after a couple hits. 

And as for the natural giver.....Oh yes if I am not giving I am not happy.  But I continually give to people that are unkind in return.  That has to stop also.  I have dead horses laying all around me, needy dogs biting me from their own yards that I invade to try to help. Oh duh.  These things didn't take any genius mind to figure out.  And it only took me six decades.  That dang learning curve! 

Kindness may just be weakness in this case.  Not sure on that one.  I tell people to live on the positive side of their numerical energies and here I am struggling with the negative side of my own lifepath.  I'll get it!  Cause I'm mad now.  I AM CALLING THE HORSE HEARSE!  And I found a new ride!!!   Eeee-haaw   

   Later's.....

 

How to Wash Paper Towels..............by Diane Ogden

My helper must have been thinking about laying on a beach somewhere or maybe she was not thinking today.  Or maybe I did it!  Imagine that.  At the end of every days work I launder a load of cotton towels as I did today.  A LARGE load of towels large and small.  In fact I washed them twice to make sure they were clean for tomorrow.  Then I sauntered over to the washer proudly..... considering we finished early and I had almost the entire afternoon off. Nice, until I opened the washer to find a dang mess.  Someone had mixed up the rags bag with the trash bag of paper towels.  I suspect I washed several of them little lovely paper thangs.  Photo is AFTER I shook out every and all 30 some rags.....I had paper towels pieces in my hair, shoes, pants, shirt, and tracked onto my carpet!

 

 

 

I stood there staring at the inside of that washer machiner thinking, how am I going to get all that outta there?  I started manually scraping.  Then decided I might let them dry and vacuum them out.

 

This would be the floor after shaking the rags out.   Hadn't cleaned out the washer yet.  I was having the time of my life don't cha know it? 

Now I know how to NOT wash paper towels. I hope it never happens again although it isn't the worst thing that could happen for sure.  All is good now.  I want a couple brownie's for sure.  Later's.......

 

Chasing LuLuBelle..............by Diane Ogden

Today was the day for LuluBelle to move to her new home.

 She has resided with me off and on for several years.  This past run was one year and eight months.  She isn't a trusting cat so I was never able to take her to pic her up much let crate her for a vet visit.  Although she has never been sick or even outside except the other day when she finally figure out she could jump the porch fence.  I got her back inside rather quickly though.  So no worries about catching anything.  Back to my point.
 

My daughter carried out the litter, two kitty beds, two bags of food, one gallon glass jar to mix the foods in, treats, catnip, brush, litter box, short cat tree, and some toys.  Then came time for her to pick up Lulubelle and gently put her in the carrier and take her home.  NOTSOMUCH!  (Photo is before Lulu realized what all this fuss was about!!



After about 45 minutes of chasing and hissing and water bottling as well as baby talking.  My daughter unbenounced to me asked the young couple moving in upstairs of me TODAY if he would help her.  I about fell off my mental boat/bridge etc.  So now three people are chasing this poor scared cat and the cat is winning.  When I walked back into my apartment/home all the furniture was strewn about, they had gloves on, towels in hand and the cat was still winning.  I went outside to de-stress myself.  

That is when after another twenty minutes my daughter comes walking out with LuluBelle in her carrier!  Then into the car and off to her new home.  (I am taking a deep breath as I type this) 
I said my goodbye to her and to the Grand daughter and daughter only to find out the young man that helped my daughter unbenounced to me got a serious scratch on his arm.  Once again I about fell off my emotional branch of life.   I must go tell him to doctor with Neosporin and that the cat is an indoor cat with no illness's OMG!! 

Now all I need is a loving home for Bob the "Bubby" Ogden.  I will miss him.  Just received a text photo of Lulubelle very happy in her bed on my daughter's bed.  She has waited a long time to go "home."   Happy Happy day.   So until the next fiasco, be safe, be well be happy.  LuLuBelle is!  As I am!  After today I could go for a good cigar about now.  But then I would just throw up.  Quit the smoking deal ten years ago come July 31st. 

Heil Zum Sieg........................by Diane Ogden

Today was a quiet day.  Cold as the dickens whatever the dickens means..... here in Wisconsin you never know what the next week might bring and so it is, today is was in the 50's overnight and the high was something like 62 degrees.  IN JULY!   I took Gracie dog to the Pet store for an outing as well as I needed kitty litter and some cat food that costs nearly a big bill.  No not $100 but it rang up at $70 with a $5 discount from one of the little cards you can keep on your key chain or until you get so many you just give your phone number to everybody and anybody at all checkouts.  Jeez I thought.  For litter, two bags of food, three small cartons of cat milk, catnip, two small treat bags....$70.00.....robbery I say. 

Then on the way home I decided to stop at a garage sale that wasn't in the garage but out in the cold Wisconsin air.  I didn't find much of anything except a small brass worn match box holder.  It said something German on it with a price of $2.00 so I bit and bought.  And low and behold......got home and went to see if I could find it on the Internet which I did for the most part.  I found some similar ones anyway.  Some on EBay ranged from $8.00 to $295.00.  Then I decided to see what the German words printed on it meant.  "Heil zum Sieg." 

I am from German descent and should have been able to tell what that mean just by saying it a couple times.  Heil zum Sieg.....Hail to Victory!  Hitlers insisted upon phrase to be said at all public gatherings while he persecuted millions.  I cant believe I bought that dang thing.   But then I suppose if I didn't associate it with Hitler I could consider it a good find.  We could all use a Hail to Victory every day of our lives.   Yeah, well I cant not ass-o-ciate it with donkey Hitler so I will continue to find if it has any value.  It has a name under the photo of the man who doesn't appear to be Hitler on the face of it.  I tried to get a photo of it but you must look carefully.  Used the computer camera whereas should have pulled out the canon I suppose.  Laters............

Nails Came With Good Listening..............by Diane Ogden

The man that does my nails is Billy.  He is from Viet Nam and on occasion he tells me some amazing stories.  I blogged about the time he told me about the ghosts in the trees tops.  There were so many killed in the war that on certain lands where fighting was dense, the tree tops are full of spirits.  Must be that some don't know how to move onto the light or how to move on period.  Billy was a person with the ability to see those passed on young men who fought that war and died.  And he was only a young boy scared of trees from then on. Who wouldn't be if they saw a bunch of white misty soldiers hanging around in the tree tops.  The young boy is trying to walk home and suddenly he see's aboritions.  No not abortions....I just cant spell it so sound it out thanks. 

  
Today we were laughing about a lady who comes to his business and drinks too much and doesn't make good decisions regarding much of anything.  She brings a flask of vodka everywhere she goes.  Worse yet she is a small town school bus driver.  I swear I about fell off my swivel chair.  And yes I may do some turning donkey (ass) in.  Billy is a good businessman and farmer and felt he probably shouldn't have discussed a client, which he never does any other time. 

After he confessed to not usually discussing clients, we moved onto me telling a couple stories.  Nothing serious until I inquired about whether someone should co-sign for another when the person is truly in need of help.  Billy sat up stiff, rolled his chair back, then forth, then said, "In VietNam there are Two Important Life Rules.  One is never to introduce a love to anyone because you will be the fault person when it doesn't work out.  And Two is to never co-sign for anyone for anything.  Like those were Viet Nam Laws. I am talking stiff laws not to be broken.

An interesting and informative day so far. 
Leaving me with a bitch of a decision.  I bet you get it?  No not whether to carry a flask of vodka and drive a school bus, as that was not me!! No, it was whether to break one of those VietNam Laws or not. Yet still not as bad as the vodka toting client who loaned the man $30,000 to become part of a business that wasn't even his, for her only to find out he gave her bogus contracts printed off the internet and she bought it hook line and sinker and lost him and her $30,000.00 and said bogus business.  My life is good.  Laters.............  
photo from: www.travel.nationalgeographic.com 

Me and a Tree!........................by Diane Ogden

       When people are packed up by moving companies they are not allowed to  have their plants packed up. Obviously!  Sooo, I got the tree from my clients home and I couldn't be happier considering large tree's in nice pots cost a considerable amount of money.  The drawback is the availability of transporting such a large item without an open top truck.  I have a truck with a moon-roof, but not a tree-roof for sure.  That was not going to deter me from getting my tree home!  I called the lady upstairs and asked to borrow her heavier than cement dolly.  No clue how I got that "piggy" into my back seat floor but I did.  I was born with determination which is the only reason I am still alive for sure.  Back to the tree.  My work helper carried it down a flight of stairs and around the yard to my truck with no tree-roof.  She weighs a whole 115 lbs. We viewed the situation and decided to put the pot in through the side door, then I held it while she ran around to the back and slid it to the farthest part of the truck with no tree-roof.

At that time I got into my truck with no tree-roof hole, and sat among the leaves all about my head and shoulders! 

And then I drove home.  I figured I could slide it out the back and onto the ground or dolly.  Notsomuch.  I couldn't even budge it.  I texted my trusted neighbor friend upstairs on first floor.  She said, "Give me two minutes!"  She who weighs probably 90 lbs. lifted that almost 7' tree out of the truck and that is when it started to tip over and out of the pot.  Except I caught it.  She sat it down on the dolly leaning the weak side against the back, as she crouched down in the center of the branches holding them in place.  It was a sight.  Then into the elevator!  A must see!

Then out and down the hall into my abode where she tied it to the upstairs second floor neighbors dolly.

 

It shall sit in the sun room until my daughter comes this week and moves her belongings out to her new home. At that time, the tree and me will find a permanent place for it.  I just hope Bob Ogden (the cat) doesn't try to climb it. omg.  If that happens the dolly will fall on Bob Ogden and kill him and I wont have half the problems I do now from rescuing him.  Okay I don't mean it.  Sort of. 

 

Laters..............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jack or Joe, Joe or Jack?.........by Diane Ogden

 

 

Okay so one of these is Jack Nicholson and the other is my Dad Joe barely out of the anesthesia after a kidney surgery.  I just had to  document this somewhere for future giggles.  Dad is gone now after cancer took over his body.  Been 13 months but I have many pictures to remind me how funny he could be.   We as people are way too dang serious way too dang much of the time.  Including myself. 
Haven't been blogging much lately because I have been way too serious about this serious life.
Working on finding my sense of humor that got run over by a truck, stepped on with stiletto's, shot at, chit on, and then buried alive,  but it "aint" dead, just crawlin' its way back out.  Laters......

photo from:www.dreamstime.com

I Saw Elvis outside the Grocery Store Today........by Diane Ogden

I always try to go shopping before noon on Sunday to miss the rush.  The rush of the church goer's of all colors and faiths.  The non white church goer's are fun and enjoyable because they dress for Jesus!  From the babies to big boys, all decked out in the finest colors, materials, hats, bows, ties, and best of all shoes shined to the moon and back.  But I still try to beat even that rush.  And I am talking a rush of all meanings because they make me happy too. 

Today was an odd day.  I should have checked the moon and such because while walking thru the store I noticed people's faces.  Not that I never notice faces but today was totally unusual.  If I had ever wanted to be able to pull out my camera it was today.  But who can do that in the middle of the store, go to shooting pics of people that know what your doing!!  Why?  Because to day was face making day.  I saw one man with his face so scrunched up while he was self checking out I actually couldn't read it.  His face that is.  He was mad, confused, sick, frustrated, and looked like Jack Nicholson after a few too many and without the smiley smirk. 

Then there were the little old ladies that looked so lost I wondered how they would find their way home.  Or even outta there.

 So right away I prayed that wont happen to me. 

Children were making sounds that were not human.  One father was pushing a cart with a seat for his 8-9 year old son.  He was driving that thing like a maniac.  Or least a race car driver......weaving in and out of other carts.  After he passed another man pushing his son appropriately toward me I pretended I had a steering wheel in my hand and I was swerving around like the man and boy with the kid carrier cart.  He laughed at me and probably went home and told his wife he saw a crazy lady at the store driving her cart like a race car.  Naw he knew I was mocking the racer man.  Jerk he was for sure.  The faces were unsure, sad, insecure, mad, sick, and just plain ornery too.   Only a few smiled today. 

Next time I am going later so I can see the other color folks cause they are always happy.  Even though they are louder than loud, holler at their youngen's all through the store,  park right in front for an hour waiting for each other, but all in all they "is" happy. 

 

Okay so I am finished shopping and still upset I couldn't pull out my camera when I walk outside toward my new used vehicle.  And low and Lord behold, there he was in living God color sitting right next to my new used truckie, in his big old truck with sideburns the size of Texas and fat and low as old Mexico!  Oh and black as the ace of spades.  His hair that is.  Big hair, tall hair.  O M G I would have given a weeks wages to have been able to pull out my camera on this one.  Elvis was sitting ten feet from my being and I couldn't get a photo.  My mind raced as to how I could sneak one in.  Wasn't a way!  He was a big one too....a big Elvis.  Big truck, big hair, big man, big!  It was at that point I knew there had to be astral things going on up there.  Seriously what would a man that looked like that do for a living?   Dentist - notsomuch.  Nurse - no, no, no.  Computer tech - NO WAY!  Dancer - hum maybe, "Elvis the Pelvis."   Salesman - notachance.  Farmer - Could be.  Construction - possibly but nawh.  Bartender!  Bingo betcha. Or a Bouncer, that's it!  Whatever, he knew I was starring at him and he never smiled or flinched.  He was parked in HANDICAPPED.  Maybe not a bouncer or maybe an illegal one.

 I may have to invest in a mini camera so I can catch some of these amazing shots.  This photo was the closest one I could find to what he looked like.  Only FULLER sideburns. Made my day I tell ya.  I needed a laugh and I got one or more. Maybe this was one of those "You had to be there ones."

Laters......

photos from: roogirl.com    and   crownsmusical.eventbrite.com   and my personal web cam

 

Shawn Christian of DOOL's ......by Diane Ogden

I have been watching Days Of Our Live's for thirty some years... Could be more but I'm not sayin'.  I enjoy it because it makes my life look more wonderful than it is.  Although myself and the soap opera do have several things in common such as, marriages, (mine have been kept to a minimum of 3.5 not counting affairs) children, (oh yes!) Grandchildren, (oh yes!)  prison time, (well not me anyway thank God and myself) and no murders or kidnapping or buried alive chit!  And no blackmailing that I can recall.  Just kidding.  So what's my point?  Every evening when I watch Shawn Christian on DOOL I miss my son who could be his twin or at least his brother by appearance.  It is uncanny.  My son is Kyle Cody Ogden who moved to Los Angeles about eleven years ago per the advice of The Rock Agency of Madison, Wisconsin.  And yes he ended up living in his car for a time.  Broke his leg "WINNING" a bull riding contest.  Thank the Lord and his girlfriend at the time for nursing him back to health.  The next girlfriend obligingly took the cat I quilted him into taking to Cali with him considering he had taken on that responsibility.  (O M G What was I thinking??)  Cat got sick and cost a half a mill.  He also took his snake Jake along who got stuck up and under his truck cab frame that had to be taken apart at which time Jake got injured, had to go to Veterinarian at a $1,500 charge.   Up and coming actors cant Veterinarian charges and Veterinarian  wouldn't set up payment arrangements  nor give the pet snake back.  Good girlfriend at the time stepped up and visited Veterinarian as a stranger pretending to want to adopt said snake.  Vet let her adopt and home Jake came. A WIN! Then he and his girlfriend found a Chihuahua dog!  Peanut! They tried to find its owner to no avail. Cody rode his bike while Peanut rode in Cody's backpack.  When the man woman relationship went south she kept the cat and Peanut.  Thank God again. Then his truck died.  Cody is a carpenter who owns his own business called Helpful Hands Handyman Service, therefore having no truck is a disaster.  (Before he left Wisconsin he was hit by an undercover police officer and an ATT Phone Truck.  Yup sandwiched in his vehicle between them on an icy bridge.  The undercover cop didn't even give true information at the site.  Then the City and ATT brought in fancy schmancy big corporate attorneys.  There we sat like hicks from Hicksville with our one attorney against a room full of pretty blue suits and intimidating tall men who won. Well they gave Cody less than what his medical bills came to so his credit went to poop.($14,000 of which attorney got $8,000) And after the decision they all laughed and shook hands just like it was a football or baseball game.  It was. Except Cody has lifelong rotor cuff pain.  Sound like a soap opera? Oh yes and I have surely left things out on purpose.  I shared that story because that is why he couldn't go buy a truck. Medical bills killed his credit.  At this time my Father passed away and knowing Cody's plight he left his old truck to my son who truly needed it.  There was another reason my Father did this.  He told me a story about how his Grandpa Joseph Heiny gave him a car when Dad was around 18.  He told me he didn't really appreciate it like he should have and had regretful feelings about that fact until he was 86.  I believe giving Cody the 1998 truck with 60,000 miles on it (in 2012) was Dad's way of making KARMA right with his Grandfather back in 1944. Now...where was I?  Oh yes, Shawn Christian and Cody Ogden - brothers??  Maybe I will have to write the writers of DOOL's and or Ellen DeGeneres.  Oprah isn't up there doing favors anymore.   Cody goes to acting class every week.  Does auditions.  Has been an extra in a few movies, done a few small commercials...but hey time to move on up to the East Side!  Let me know what you think?   Maybe I should move to L.A. and become his agent.  Mother's get the job done for sure!

  Betcha cant tell which is Shawn Christian and which is Cody Ogden! Heads up DOOL!!