Panic Attack! by Julianna Rowe

Panic Attack!  

I had a busy day, errands, car wash, drove an extra twenty miles to get less expensive kitty litter at the Farm store. Humm.  Got home, unloaded all and put away.  Came into my office to check on emails and other computer related issues.  I sat down at my desk where the window to the outer world is two feet from my face. That being said it would mean if there were any activity in or around said window I would not be able to ignore it. There was definitely activity!

Before I share what I was watching let me tell you why my eyes shed a few crocodile tears as I viewed the anxiety ridden scene before me.  

I am a nurturer/caretaker by birth.  I dabble in numerology and the energies of my name and date of birth told me what I have proven to be true all my life, that I am a caretaker.   I save everyone and everything in my sight and within my power to do so.  Sometimes to my own detriment.  Been trying to learn I am more important than other peoples problems, but so far it hasn't worked.  I recall in grade school always taking up for the kid getting bullied.  I saved rescue animals, dying plants, I was a foster parent, a Hospice volunteer, oh and I rescued MEN too!  But none of those were freaking out in front of me at the window.  Nope...this time it was no different than all the other times yet the same.  I was about to try to save something that could hurt me AS USUAL. And once again I dove right in but not before some real serious tears being shed.  Why?

You see I have lived with anxiety at different levels off and on all my life.  It can be very debilitating. So I understood what Mr. Wasp was feeling.  Sounds crazy I know, but truth. 

 I was viewing a very large WASP  who had gotten "himself" stuck between the screen and the inside window pane.  He wasn't doing the standard walking slowing around the edges searching for an exit. Oh No! This WASP was FRANTIC! He was anxiety ridden as he flew desperately from the top to the bottom, nudging corners and edges wildly in fast motion.  I could honestly feel his fear and his feeling of being trapped forever and dying.  This WASP was smarter than the average WASP.  As I watched him I kept voicing I was going to help him and to hang on.  I hadn't yet figured out how I was going to do this good deed.

Saying that meant I had to open the window a smidge which meant this very upset large WASP could get into my home and harm me just like some of my other rescues had done.  Those tears were not only from feeling the WASP 's frantic terror but my own past shit shows.  

Never the less..... I had to save him from his impending death considering it was HOT and the sun was bearing down on him fast on his self made prison. It reminded me of a dog stuck in a hot car.  

I proceeded to carefully open the window just enough to stick my little blue twelve inch ruler under the rim while quickly punching out the corner of the screen while Mr. Big WASP was up at the top freaking the H out.  Told you he was a smart one.  He instantly knew there was an opening and he shot straight down and OUT the little escape hatch I offered.  Now I can only hope there is WASP KARMA for me next time one lands on me.  The WASP community owes me.  And I owe the landlord a new screen.    I always have to pay out somehow when I help others.  It's okay, WASP is free, didn't get baked and die today.  One Lucky fellow.