Stuck to the Toilet.....by Julianna Rowe

I have a business called "A Green Experience," which  means my clients choose to have their homes cleaned using all natural green cleaning supplies.  I have seen everything from "erp" and I dont mean Wyatt, in bathroom trash containers, to enough dog hair from one cleaning to make forty wigs. Okay so four wigs.  But I'll never tell.

  

The other day one of my clients came to my helper and asked her if she could clean the green cleaner off his toilet seat after she cleans it with the green cleaner.

 

She said, "Sure, but why?"

He said, "Because I got stuck to it!"

I couldn't stop laughing because I wanted to say, "No, its not the green cleaning solution, its that you sit too long sir! You have stacks of magazines, crossword puzzles, and pens, heck it looks like an office next to the toilet.  My Grandpa used to say, "Either sit there and think, or sit there and stink."  Sorry but he was an old farmer and when I was old enough to read I saw that written "A tad differently on the old outhouse wall.

There really was an old Sears catalog in Pa's outhouse for the purpose of wiping tail. I used to crumple up the pages and rub them together so they were softer for obvious reasons. I was six years old and if you have never wiped your bum with a page from a Sears catalog you have missed out on a piece of life.  But then I have never used a leaf out in the woods and I figure I have not missed out on a darn thing.

Okay so back to what I have seen.  Sweat so thick on walking machines it is yellow and no I will not clean that up! I have seen closets I wouldn't let anyone see.  Now I know why my friends always cleaned up before the cleaning lady comes.  I love it when I see a beautiful black flat stove someone used as if it were a campfire.  And I am supposed to figure out how to get a quarter of an inch of black charred crust off it?  But I'll never tell.  How about teenagers rooms where you cant see the floor for the clothes, glasses of water, moldy bowls, and trash with spiders. Although this one I understand totally. One of my clients told me I forgot to dust off the top of the furnace regular.  Yet the inside of his closet looks like a trash bin.  But I'll never tell.  Once I got fired for cleaning the cats water fountain which was not fit for carp. Guess they forgot the times I cleaned up their cats pueck. You have to laugh at the ridiculousness. 

Then there are those people who have been blessed financially but do not care about what they have been blessed with.  I am speaking of the tangible items their money buys them.  I am in awe of the number of shoes people have, the organic foods, the pottery and artwork, the remodeling projects, the closets larger than my master bedroom, the seven bathrooms, and so on.  But I'll never tell because I get paid for it.  I keep in mind that I nurture their homes and that is my job. Whatever they do with it beyond that I can only watch for the humor of it.  

In truth most all my clients are amazing and I have been truly blessed. 💓

The good stories out way all the fourteen years of people stuck to their toilet seats.  Like the hundred stuffed animals we set up and "make happy."  The children look forward to coming home from school to see the new set up every time.  The people that paid me when I had cancer surgery.  The clients that paid me during the two - three months of lock down during the pandemic. The fresh eggs waiting for me  from the backyard chickens. But, the Christmas bonus's are the most "bestest!"  I am very blessed.