Act II: Things Men Say When They Don't - "I'LL CALL YOU"

 “What Men Say When They Don’t” 

A series on language, clarity, and the quiet announcement peple make before they disappear. Hosted on?  The Happy News Lady

While these pieces focus on  men, the language of avoidance isn’t gendered. Anyone whose disappeared will recognize it.

“I’ll Call You”

“I’ll call you,” he says. He will not call you. He will briefly think about calling you while doing absolutely nothing. This phrase sounds like intention, but it’s actually deferral. A way to end the moment without committing to what comes next. “I’ll call you” doesn’t ask for a response. It doesn’t open a conversation. It closes on......politely, with just enough hope left behind to soften the exit. Men use this line when they want to leave things unresolved without appearing unkind. When they want to avoid saying “I don’t plan to follow up” or “I don’t want to continue this.”

So the responsibility shifts to time. If he calls, great. If he doesn’t, you’re left wondering whether you misunderstood, whether you should wait, whether it’s too soon to move on. That uncertainty isn’t accidental. It keeps the door unlocked without requiring him to walk back through it. Real intention doesn’t rely on possibility. It relies on action. People who plan to call don’t announce it as a favor. They call. They follow through. They don’t leave silence behind and label it patience. “I’ll call you” becomes a holding pattern.....one person grounded, the other already in motion elsewhere. And when enough time passes, the silence answers the question the words avoided. If you find yourself checking your phone, replaying the conversation, or making excuses for the delay, pause. The message has already arrived. Because when someone wants to stay connected, they don’t outsource it to later. They don’t leave it vague. They don’t leave you waiting. “I’ll call you” isn’t a promise. It’s a placeholder. And once you recognize it, you’re free to stop waiting for a call that was never coming.

The message has already arrived. Because when someone wants to stay connected, they don’t outsource it to later. They don’t leave it vague. They don’t leave you waiting. “I’ll call you” isn’t a promise. It’s a placeholder. And once you recognize it, you’re free to stop waiting for a call that was never coming. 

Tomorrow's Visit:  "I'm Just Really Busy"