The Penis Theory: Harley's and Men by Julianna Rowe

Twain wrote about Riverboats and Politicians....  I wrote about Harley's and Men, today anyway. While these posts focus on men, the language isn't gendered.

The Penis Theory:  Harley's and Men

My mind wanders when I’m working. Not in a bad way, just in that quiet thinking way that happens when your hands are busy and your brain is free. Today I found myself thinking about men. Not complaining about them, just observing them the way women have been doing since the beginning of time. And sometimes, I suppose, from the slightly mischievous point of view that only I and my grandmother could have.

Men have built pyramids, railroads, airplanes, and rockets that fly all the way to the moon. They invent things, fix things, lift heavy things, and occasionally try to explain things we already understood perfectly. Men are impressive creatures. But after many years of watching the male species, I have come to believe there is one small question quietly guiding them through life.  I realized it years ago when I was talking to my daughter and granddaughters. I told them something very important.

“If you really want to understand a man,” I said, “watch how he rides a Harley.”

Now pay attention the next time you see one.

A man straddles that motorcycle like it’s the most important relationship in his life. He leans forward just right. He holds it carefully. He listens to every little sound it makes. And then he goes home and polishes it. He wipes it down, talks about it, and protects it from the weather.

Honestly, some men treat their Harley better than they treat their wives.

That’s when it finally occurred to me. Beneath all the intelligence, invention, bravery, and confidence… the male brain has been quietly asking one ancient question since caveman days. Now cavemen didn’t have Harleys, of course, but they probably had the same expression on their faces.  Because somewhere deep in the mysterious machinery of the male brain, history has been whispering the same question for thousands of years.

Men have crossed oceans.

Men have climbed mountains.

Men have walked on the moon.

And yet…every now and then…that ancient little voice still pops up. The oldest question in male history.

“Where can I put this thing next… and when?”

And ladies, if you don’t believe me…just watch a man ride a Harley.