"DMV Says Maybe I Will be a Star" - by Julianna Rowe

DMV Says Maybe I will be a Star! by Julianna Rowe

I thought my birth certificate, drivers license, Social Security card, voter registration, three divorces, grown children,  grandchildren, great-grandchildren, tax returns, jobs, surgeries and 78 years of breathing were sufficient proff that I exist.  Apparently I was mistaken. Yesterday (last blog post) I was passing a cemetery telling the gravestones: "I am happy that I am not under the dirt!" Today the government is basically replying: "Can you prove that?" 

I could do without this...A 78-year-old woman has to drive downtown, park, figure out the new parking meters, walk, wait in line, and pay for a piece of paper. Actually, four pieces of paper. Wait... five pieces of paper.  Certified Birth Certificate, 3 marriage licenses, 3 divorce decrees, all with a certification label.  I can only hope they stamp it in Gold.

Why? So I can get the immortal STAR on my drivers license so I can VOTE, walk into a Federal Building and/or fly on an airplane if there is an emergency. At 78, I apparently need permission to fly. Not to forget I have been voting all my life.

I can't walk far. I also have three copies of divorce papers turning yellow in a box, but they wont accept those....they have no gold certification seal or punch, and I have absolutely no wedding books to be found... you know, the cute little books with photos of the happy couple smiling and signing away. Nor did I know I was supposed to rent a safe deposit box and pay for it every year for the last 60 years to keep paperwork from marriage's that made me miserable in the first place.  Actually I did keep some but they aren't acceptable.  So far....I went online and I have gotten two copies at $40 each, and now I need two more, another $40 because I didn't know I needed a single page decree with a seal on it. The other marriage ($40+) took a bit more doing considering it was in another State far away. Those Texas office girls are so sweet.  I got a "Bless your heart" several times. And I took a chance and gave my debit card # to a stranger so I could be a star!

This over the top need for paperwork is something about the government needing to make sure I'm not an illegal immigrant. A paper trail they call it.  And or they, the Government must need more proof that I'm alive. How much paperwork does one old woman need?  I should admit I have a birth certificate with my little feet on it, but they spelled my name wrong so that was a really big deal to muddle through.  Had to go before a judge with all sort of information as to who I am and how its truly spelled. (one little letter was wrong)

OMG!   From the official DMV site: You cannot take an official DMV photo without providing a certified marriage license, divorce decree, or legal name-change court order if you have changed your legal name. Your legal name on your license must match your birth certificate or passport.  (Why did I change my name three times??)

Maybe I should have dug deeper. I do have my grandfather's paperwork from Ellis Island. And what about the elderly women sitting in nursing homes who can vote but have no clue how to get these documents? Or don't have the money to order them? It's such an injustice. I'd picket, as we used to say, if I could walk better. Heck, I can't even carry a sign anymore. But I do have a special sign for the bill so-and-so passed, and it's on both hands.

So...

I will take my grocery and gas money, buy more stamps, make more copies, include the required self-addressed stamped envelope, and wait two weeks for those blessed black-and-white memories to arrive with a grand $40 seal punched onto the page. Then I can be a free citizen who can vote, who can fly on an airplane, who can walk into a federal building in this great land of ours, and finally get a star.  Not on any walk of fame....a DMV star.

Am I angry? Damn right I am. But when it's all said and done, " I am not under the dirt."

So I will do what I need to do and continue to be upset about the many people, mostly women, who won't have the money, won't understand the process, or won't know why they suddenly need gold seals or punched seals on the going into and coming out of marriages that nearly killed them in the first place.

And yes, I still think a man created a "Bill" that caused all of this need for a star. He did.

J.R. is not a happy camper today. And there will be no Happy Father's Day from me because not one of those snakes stuck around long enough to know their children. Not one.

Okay.

I feel better now.
 - J.R.  💗