https://youtu.be/ow5bPIeVTzU

The Horrors That Hide by Julianna Rowe (coming Soon)

Sunday, June 30, 2019

She, Me, Feels Happy Around PINK.......................property of Julianna Rowe

She, Me, Feels Happy Around Pink!

         I have a delightful attachment to PINK!  Almost abnormal some might think. See that rhymes with PINK. My life revolves around association.  If I hear a certain word I start singing the song it reminds me of.  Meaning:  I associate PINK with Love, Caring, Happiness, and All is well.  In fact my license plate says it. ALSWELL.  I tried to spray paint it PINK but that didn't go over so well.

          I still have it in 2019. Price keeps going up for this sweet tag but so does everything else.  I say there is also a price for living.  "Taint" always an easy road for most.  Me, I never felt truly loved as a child therefore I operated on what I was told.  I had to learn I was not on this earth to suffer. That I was and am a good person. But I suffered until I found PINK!  May sound silly but PINK makes me happy. And if allowed..... I could turn into one of those grannies that fill their yards with PINK Flamingo's.  Oh yes....!!  Although I have no PINK Flamingo's.  They are pepto bismol pink.  Not my style.
        
          If I were younger I would have pale PINK hair.  Yes I would.  This is from Pinterest jillweith.


And if I were younger I would have a pair of PINK boots and drive a HUGE PINK Cadillac. 

From my ebook: "The Cardboard Box Part I."

https://www.blurb.com/ebooks/533623-the-cardboard-box-part-1
 Available for Amazon Kindle Fire®, Apple iPad®, Android devices, and Mac or PC computers

Imagine a road trip in that old Cadi!! Imagine a road trip in that old Cadi!!
(Without the boots and hair this time around) You can read about my half fiction travels above.

PINK is soft, gentle, like velvet words, like love should be. A delicate romantic kiss, comfortable like love from a hug. 



         White is pure.  PINK isn't pure its rather more fun.  My Angels are pure.  They are working on me.

             I learned not to give my PINK power away like I used to.  I wanted to make everyone happy so no one's "feathers" got ruffled.  Well ruffle away anymore.  PINK is kindness and strength to me. It may sound silly but if you surround yourself with what PINK represents to me ALSWELL.  Yours  might be the ocean, or fishing.  I love to create.  Somehow PINK gives me freedom in all areas.  Obviously!  Who do you know that would actually drive a PINK 
Cadillac across country on a girls road trip. 

      I am no longer a girl.  In fact way no longer. But my spirit sparkles. It loves people, animals, my Angels....of course God, and PINK!!



Saturday, June 29, 2019

The Gazing Ball....... property of Julianna Rowe

I bought a mirror ball yesterday..... the party ones?  I have always wanted one that rotated mechanically, you know battery operated and such.  Most folks buy them for parties but me....  I wanted one for fun and relaxation.  I did wonder if "it" would make me dizzy and where would I put it?  In my bedroom? Who wants to be dizzy before sleep time?  Not me for sure and I do not have parties at this time in my life. Maybe I should.

I do have a shabby chic porch so I decided to put it out there.  Humm. I noticed a funny sound when I hooked the ceiling link up to it...  That is when I realized the interior of the ball consisted of styrofoam!!  Oh dear.  I suspected the little mirrors were GLUED to the styrofoam ball meaning it may not withstand the out of doors porch idea. 

Hey, I got it on one of those for sale sites at $7.  I cant complain no matter what.  Not that I will be rockin and rollin on the porch or in the bedroom like in the old days. Nope.  Actually the best thing that will happen is my cat Lucy will chase the dots around the room.  The sun hits it from the west meaning I do not have to purchase a motion light for it.  I merely have to move it when it rains, along with the fancy victorian pillows etc. on my Shabby Porch. I don't mind, it's worth it. 

Not to mention the dancing ball reminds me of the good old days at Hancock Center in Austin Texas where I got my first kiss.  The Teen Center in Stoughton Mandt Park where we danced and stayed out of trouble for the most part.  The Beatles and Elvis.  Weird Ed Sullivan.  You all have your Weird Al Yankovic!  Not sure I spelled that right but suspect you get it. 

Funny how we want something for years and then when we finally get it we don't know what to do with it... OR we have it and cant get rid of it!  My forever wanted Mirror Ball is hanging outside on my Shabby Chic Porch rotating while my old cat Lucy chases the lighted (dots) around the living room as it shines through the large reflecting glass windows.  Me....it is relaxing just knowing I finally got one. Something so small and insignificant. Probably many other things on my bucket list are equally as small and unimportant. When I die it wont rotate in the hereafter with me...... or will it? 

Its dark now and very peaceful: 





Wednesday, June 26, 2019

The Little Black Fairy with the Little White Prince.....................by Julianna Rowe

Today was one of those difficult life days for me.  I HAD cancer and part of my lung removed making it difficult to breathe.  I was angry most of the day.  I stopped and purchased a geranium for my Shabby Porch but that didn't seem to curb the anger.  I was standing outside on my Shabby Porch when my attention was elevated from myself to a scene down and across the street from my Rockwell Corner Porch.  There she was.  A tiny little fairy like person flitting around like a butterfly and happy as a free soaring bird dressed in white like an Angel.  I was in awe standing at calm attention noticing how I should be like her.  Childlike in my faith. She was searching gently for something special in the earth's green grass.  I wondered?  Was it a four leaf clover she so yearned to find.  Was it the teeny tiny insignificant white flowers that most try to kill in their yards? Whatever it was she was thrilled to find it and give it to someone she loved.

I felt embarrassed at my anger and disgust at life.   I wasn't ashamed because I had a right to feel awful about not being able to breathe like I have always been able to....for seven decades.  So why cant I now?  No one knows.....

But there she was showing me frivalty.  No matter what ......I still have the ability to write, sing, talk, and love.  That little black girl and her little white prince friend where moving in life with such ease.  I wanted to put a white dress on and frolic in the fields of yellow flowers like a child.  But I am not a child.  I am an old woman now.....with the mind of a younger woman and the spirit of a free little black girl playing with a little white boy not knowing that could and might/will be an issue someday.  Picking flowers and giving them as a gift of love to the lady overseeing them this day.

Love comes in many gifts.  A child of two will give a rock to their parent when they are picked up from day care.  Its all they have. A macaroni necklace from a preschooler.  A welded ring from art class in Jr. High....  An award for good citizenship in High School.  A flower picked on the way to a walking date in College.  An engagement ring as a forever sign of love in marriage.  A wheelchair pushed by a mate in a park.  A tear shed for that lifelong mate at their funeral or celebration of life.   All that came to me watching the little black princess today from my Normal Rockwell porch.  Time cant change the true meaning and or basic love we all need to learn in life.  Its Biblical.  Love thy neighbor as you love thyself.  (Hopefully you love yourself, You Lord)  Simply put its pure love. Hard huh?  Well notsomuch when you come across a sweet little innocent black Angel and her sweet little white prince.

I learned a lesson this day I had known but it had gotten buried under pain. Lest it rise again, the sweet  pure love that is.
She did it....she gave the gift.....of pure love!

Tuesday, June 25, 2019

I Dreamed Someone Else's Nightmare.........by Julianna Rowe

Have you ever awoke from a nightmare? Definition of Nightmare from Merriam Webster:
An evil spirit formerly thought to oppress people during sleep: something (such as an experience, situation, or object) having the monstrous character of a nightmare or producing a feeling of anxiety or terror. 

That I am aware of I was not born in Hell.  I only go there for prescriptions. (Wal Mart) But I must have been born close because I have had GAD all my life.  (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) Sometimes panic, most of the time normal for me.....thinking the lumber on the truck on the hiway ahead of me will surely let lose and come through my windshield and kill my shining face and self.  It never does but I never stop thinking it will. 

I have the gift of EMPATHY to go along with the GAD!  It is not always a gift... rather it has taken me into the depths of Hell on earth at times. I surely should not capitalize the H in hell.  It doesnt deserve so much as that. 

 When I was in grade school I felt empathy for other children that were teased, bullied, embarrassed, and or wet their pants.....and so on.  I was the school yard and lunchroom "Kingdom Cop!"  I didn't know there already was a God or teacher that might take over the situation and save the poor kids unable to handle it.  You see I wasn't allowed to handle jack shit at home. Always told I "Didn't do it right," or "What's the matter with you?"   So I had to find myself somewhere else.  Not to mention my life path number in numerology is a 9.  Human-i-tarian.  Give give give till there "ain't" no give left.  And I have... and there "ain't" much left except my writing and still caring.  Oh, that's empathy isn't it?  I have no shame for having it.  Just wish I'd had the sense to know when to and when not to.  That said, I have a story to tell.  And then I woke up.

                                                  Someone's Nightmare Came to Me.....

          I held my sister as she died in my arms.  Drive by shooting. Alesha stared at me with her deep brown dying eyes as life drained from her body.  I felt her bloodied flesh filled with terror turn to peace as her life stopped and her spirit ascended to a new world.  Mama wanted to take her from me and hold her but she didn't. She knew Alesha was right where she belonged in my arms.  Papa wanted to run into the streets and kill all the gang members that had hurt so many in our little town and now had murdered his sweet daughter Alesha.

          The following day mama and papa decided it was time to flee our home country.  It had become unsafe to leave our house for food, work, and or any reason at all.  We were starving mentally and physically due to the fear instilled by the gangs.  Papa had saved some money hidden behind one of the bricks that held our lives safe from the elements but not safe from the thieves that had taken over our country.  It was time to run for our lives. 

          We buried our sweet sister and daughter in the dirt that surrounded the home we had always felt secure in until recently.  Papa wrapped her in the blanket mama had made for her when she was an infant.  I begged papa to cover her face with it because I could barely stand to see the brown sand and dirt cover and fill her beautiful brown eyes.  For months my mind had the reoccurring thought of my sweet sister and best friend rotting under the dirt .....covered with bugs and worms.  It was nearly more than I could bare. I had no one to confide in.  There was no way I could tell mama or papa what my minds eye was seeing. As surely as their minds eye was seeing the same thing but my small time on earth didnt allow me to realize that.  I had to deal with losing my best and only friend  alone. 

          We had no choice but to leave Alesha behind. All I could think of was her under the ground and alone as we left the only home we had ever known fleeing our once beloved country that had now been overrun with bandits, thieves, and murderers. In the dead of night we moved as quickly as possible praying baby Joey wouldn't wake the evil men before we got far enough away to feel safe. 

                   I and my infant brother followed my parents for over one thousand miles to find a better life.  Looking back on it now I can't imagine how we made it.  We took the clothes on our backs, each a backpack with water, some food, diapers, toothbrushes, soap, one change of underwear and only a blanket for myself and baby Joey.  No coats as the weather we were traveling in was very warm.  Oh, and the money papa had saved behind the brick wall was taking us to a new and safe life......in America.

                The walking was treacherous.  By the time we had traveled halfway across dirt, rocks, and clay, our shoes had lost most of their soles just as we were losing our life souls as well. The walk was long, hard, and hot and the only thing that kept us going was hope and fear of being murdered by the merciless gangs back home.  The land of freedom was ahead....no one shooting, robbing, and killing us in our own homes.  We had escaped Hell.  Not that the thousand mile walk wasn't a Hell of its own but again faith kept us going toward the land of the free.


            I was a young boy who was having to grow up too fast in a cruel, dangerous, frightening, world.  I was surrounded by other children and grown ups all of us physically filthy on a journey to somewhere better than where our lives had been.  We could only compare to what we knew before the raids on our  homes began.  The death of my sister  haunted me every step of my own personal small adult journey. I talked to Alesha what seemed like every minute of every step we took.  I worried about her alone in the dirt with the bugs.  Maybe they would comfort her?  All I knew was my bad scary life was over as I knew it but this wasn't much better even though my papa told me we were walking toward a new world of all good things.  A place where no one would hurt us anymore..... or so we thought. 

           To be continued....... 

Monday, June 24, 2019

The Birth of the Happy News Lady....... Property of Julianna Rowe

Tuesday, April 12, 2011 


Jamerica, Madison Wisconsin 

So this is Martin!  Martin owns Jamerica, a resturant on Williamson Street in Madison,Wisconsin.  I used to deliver a small Sustainable Times Newspaper, now magazine to Jamerica for several years....  one day in 2007 I walked into Jamerica and was greeted by Martin. (of course not knowing Martin was the owner) Martin smiled his huge smile showing twice as many beautiful pearly whites as I think I have ever seen.  Or maybe it was merely his genuine happy spirit I saw between that smile.  He said, "Awwhhh, lookie dere, eets dah hoppie nuse laadie!" (Obviously I hope I am showing his deep Jamacian accent....)
Well from that day on I couldn't get those words out of my head.  I really was The Happy News Lady.  I really did find humor in all things.  I really did deliver that humor and that news to all I met.  Sooo....I put it on the side of my car.  Yup I did.  The Happy News Lady.  You see I had gone thru a very traumatic loss.  Of everything.  My business, my car, my savings, all security.  And there was this man saying I was The Happy News Lady!  So I decided to be just that and started a blog post called just that.  The Happy News Lady who finds humor in something every day.  Yet like most I have my days or months on the off side of life where I don't write anything funny or happy.  I will always return on the good side.  Being flashed by some idiot on the freeway, imagining things that seem real but aren't, using my own life stories as a joke which the whole darn thing has been.  Not sure who the heck I can blame for that except mawh!  I'd rather do the denial thingy and bless Martin for planting a seed within my mind that grew and allowed me to express my everything and  many thoughts"out there" for really no one to see, but for me to "get it out."  I did not blog to make money.  If I had I would have done my fun numerology....  I blogged for me. And I thank Martin for his happiness of spirit.  I wish to be someone who greets others with such joy of heart and face like Martin does.....  "Aawwhh loookie here, eet's dah Hopie Nuse Ladie."   Yes it is ......

Sometimes God / the Universe sends us each a Martin with a message.  Martin's message just might reach more than me through me.  God bless Martin Deacon! He already blessed his business for sure!
Go ahead and Google Jamerica!  And there you will find Martin Deacon who moved here from Jamaca and stayed. Martin could have moved anywhere and stayed.  He said the people of Madison Wisconsin are happy people, but me, I think it's Martin who is the happy person that makes each of his days a good day to be alive.  And I think Madison is very lucky to have this person and his specialty food and personality.

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Hell's Gate......!

Friday, September 2, 2011

Hells Gates! (Wal Mart) by Diane Ogden




No one is lying when they take these pics at Wally world..... I am telling you the truth.  I have my camera ready when I walk through the hells gates of that place.  It never ceases to amaze me what I see and it has nothing to do with China.  Rather its us-in's USA country folk.  OMG totally embarrassing. They shouldn't been allowed outta the shoot!  That's all I can say, but then again each is here on this earth for his or her own learning.  Does that only include the ones with class vs ass, the ones with smarts vs farts, the ones with more vs the whores, the ones with totes vs smokes, the crazies vs the babies, the nuts and butts vs putts, and so on....??  I am not a judgemental person but omg I cant believe what I see at Hells Gates when I HAVE TO go there.  I mean come on they have the only $4 prescription program. Even though I heard there is asphalt and paint residue in the meds!  Do I go anyway?  Sometimes yup.  But I dress well when I go for my Chinese blue asphalt ka-douches and drugs.  I lock my car, and watch certain groups of different color park right in front of the door with no matter of anyone else. Just sit there in the way!  IN THE WAY!  I and most others don't do that!  But then who cares, pull out the smart phone and take a few pics of Hells Gates People...better known as Wal Mart frequenters, grab a cart, stay away from those that fart if your smart, get out real fast before you see more a_s (then you want,) get your drugs, run from the thugs, swear to never go back, cause most of em on smack, All so crass, has to be why they show their  a_s, .....scary place, take along mace! China owns them! Cause they sell the drugs cheap, which draws in the tricks of the folks in the pics.  You have to go there to believe it!  Bless the greater!  That is the good news for the day... not necessarily the happy news. I took the photos from the website "the people of Wal Mart."  You have to go there before you die.  Put it on your bucket list for sure.  It's out of this world, or at least the one I live in until I need a $4 prescript. 

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

"Smoke Under a Boulder".....,property of Julianna Rowe

Smoke gets in your eyes and burns your spirit when you mess up so bad God or one of his spirit fellows throws your sorry butt out of the back end of a moving pick up truck and lands your sorry butt under a big bolder because you didn't listen soon enough.

No that did not happen to me.  But it did happen to a friend of mine.  True story.  There were four men, three inside the pick up truck and one in the flat bed due to no room in the one front seater truck.  The third man lay in the back of the three quarter ton bed leaning in the corner falling asleep due to being out to late the night before carousing when he should have been home with his family.

He fell asleep and dreamed through the bumps and turns of the country roads they were traveling on to the job of the day. 

My friend told me he recalled  there was an accident and when he awoke he was lost and unaware of his surroundings.  Last he remembered he was sleeping in the back of the three quarter ton pick up.... alone.  But this alone was very different. Everything around him was gray.  Some parts appeared nearly black. He presumed he was dead and he became understandably frightened. It was then he saw smoke all around him.  He panicked thinking the truck was on fire and there was no escape.  Only death by fire.  The smoke didn't seem like the smoke he would normally see.  Rather is was a thick gray mist.  Chilly. And then the unimaginable.  He permeated through the huge bolder that had fallen on him when the truck went off the road, hit the boulder causing it to roll back and as it did Roman was thrown under it and as he lay under it the particles that made up the earthen stone came alive speaking to him, pushing him up up and literally through the stone hard boulder toward something much bigger.

Bigger indeed!  A sudden calm came all about him and a presence subdued his entire being. He told me he  suddenly felt he had been spiralled up a rabbit hole instead of down a rabbit hole.  Spinning out of control just like his earthly life. That is when he told me I probably wouldn't believe what came next.  I commented I'm already having trouble accepting what described to me. Yet due to my imagination and intuitiveness I was listening intently and I allowed him to continue...
.
Then the best and craziest part of the story came forth.  My friend Roman told me he was placed before a heavenly presence who starred at him with the sternness of a father.  Roman said he told the presence he needed to go back to the truck and his life.  That he had things to finish up.

But the presence said, "No, you had many chances to finish up and or live a proper life and you didn't."

Roman responded, "But I will Sir, I will!  I promise."

The presence said, "You are a double minded  man who speaks out of both sides of your mouth and that has hurt your family.  You may not go back. You have run out of chances."

Roman told me he recalls knowing he had died and the Holy presence was not going to allow him  life.  His days were over. His chances, over.  He told me he always believed there would be another chance, another day to make things right, make it big.  So Roman never planned for anything. He only followed his nose wherever it took him. And sadly his nose took him to death in the back of an old pickup truck on the way to a menial job in a dusty old town in Texas. The boulder he died under was his own lack of self confidence and self worth.  The heavens gave him one more chance by spiritually uplifting him in a miracle fashion through a ROCK to the other side.  Yet his promises went unheard because he, Roman had reneged so many times to so many people including his children.

Roman was once someone's husband who was told by the spirit not to leave his family.  That he would be allowed to go back to earth if he promised to care for his them.  Roman didn't do what he was instructed to do  by the spirit and promised he would do.  He was allowed to live for a long time yet was never honorable to his family..   He  lost his family because he once again did not listen to the high spirit of the heavens.   Many suffered for his disobedience.  I have heard it is better to obey than to sacrifice.  Sadly he felt he was sacrificing his life to his children and wife.  He rather moved on to a few more wives.  And never called his biological children again.  What a douche.  Spirit says so too.  I wonder what "room" in what dimension he will go to when he truly permeates through the veil/ or his boulder. I hope I get to know.  I deserve to know for I am the woman that had to live the burdens  of the live he left behind. Four children and no income.

I saw...... he will be in a place such as the Hell of the gray spirit of Auschwitz with his father who talked him into leaving his family.  Or they will walk the gray walk in the afterlife that I am one of the privileged to have been able to see.  Long lines of gray dead people,many still carrying backpacks of life's unfinished business waiting for some one to help them, and hear their pleas.

I see children from the gray area come to me who I help cross over and through the veil.  They have passed on and do not know where they are.  I have seen old men, young men, who come for help.  There is a long line of them waiting.   Waiting for that one person that will allow the line between life and the hereafter to open up and help their lost souls.

Everything on earth has a voice.  Even a huge boulder can be used to speak to a lost soul.  It is up to that soul whether they listen or not.  Beware.

Saturday, June 15, 2019

"The Living Dead"........property of Julianna Rowe

"The Living Dead!"



Who does this? No really who does this?   Only children with an amazing sense of humor or children that disliked their parents intensely.

These children fall into the first category!


 They loved their Mother and Father.  Father was a Veteran and Mother was very beautiful and quite elegant.  Sort of like Royalty.  God forbid should anyone put Queen Elizabeth's  molded head in cement under a tree.  Or Prince Phillip's head molded in cement on the edge of the coy pond.  Not to mention a family of snails has made Dad's head their new apartment complex.  My friend/client told me she was feeling a tad guilty about that one. Then we laughed so I guess the snails wont be evicted after all.  Home Sweet Home in the dead head.

And if it makes any of my readers feel better, the kids put a CASHMERE Scarf around Mom's neck every winter.  A RED one no less. Cracks me up every time I look at it.  For them, possibly it brings them peace.  You know, Mom and Dad are just outside the door in the back yard.  Mom is under the magnificent tree facing the house watching everyone's every move.  Dad on the other hand is sort of fishing.  Well he is watching the fish anyway and possibly keeping them company.

How'd they do it?  Son of Father and Mother.....put a rubber jello mask on each parent which molded their features perfectly.     Me.....NO WAY.    I would be at the E.R. from severe claustrophobia.  Might as well bury me alive.  Erase that thought.

I actually think if they posted these photos they would go viral for sure.  Maybe the local News Team Van Channel 27 would visit for a few minutes or at the least investigated as a double check by local police on where Mom and Dad really are.

On a heavier note, imagine visiting a cemetery where the cement heads of each participant sit atop their "Who are you Stone?"  Oh My Gawd!  Wouldn't that be the creepiest of creepiest surrounded by 1500 dead cement heads.  Forget that idea.  Mom and Dad are not creepy.  Well Dad borders on creepy by the pond. Mom, she is piece of earth (cement)  sitting under a tree as peaceful as she was in life.  She recently passed away in her late 90's.  I suspect her cement head will live on through the generations even longer.  Great idea kids!  I wonder how many children I know would even want a head of their parent so close by.  This family is very lucky in love and comedy. 

I like the  unusual as well as I prefer comedy of reality.  This is directly out of "Comedy of Reality."  Great idea for a book or just visit "Hells Gate,"  for comedy of reality!! (my name for WalMart). 

Saturday, June 8, 2019

"Love After Life" property of Julianna Rowe

                   “LOVE AFTER LIFE”…… Once Upon Two Lifetimes
                                    
 Introduction:

“In my new life,” I saw and heard things that could not be identified.  Sounds in the middle of the night, lights flickering, dreams that not only seemed real but were real, and more often I sensed those unidentified unseen conditions around me. 
 I would meet someone I knew but didn’t know.  I could feel that person like they were inside me, like they were part of me yet I had no memory of how I might have known them.
And then I saw him….I starred uncomfortably as he smiled through a veil I couldn’t make sense of.  Confusion swallowed me momentarily like a flash of light during the day.  He handed me his business card.  Unusual, but his signature glowed like it was alive reaching out to me.  Little did I know the glow was hiding a deadly emotional fire.
And in the end we soared the Universe together…. We tasted colors…. 



Love After Life………“ONCE UPON TWO LIFETIMES”
By Julianna Rowe

Part I                       
               
Narrated by Julie.

Chapter One….  Willie and Me
I was there. Seated in our perfectly manicured pink kitchen staring at the perfectly matched black and white squares that made up the floor I walked on every day of my life. Mother loved pink and saved every dime she earned doing laundry for friends and neighbors allowing her the ability to purchase her brand new pink washer and dryer. Not to forget our oh so pink stove and polished chrome chairs with black leather seats. Father would have never given mother as much as one dollar of his money for such nonsense as he would call it. Yet she also managed to save quite a bit off the weekly grocery money he gave her. Mother always found a way to overcome any and all adversity in our lives. This was a learned practice from the time she could remember.  Her childhood not being the best and that would be putting it mildly. She was trained to be tough, having had to sleep in a box car as well as an old chicken coop. Her and her siblings would heat bricks over an outside fire then haul them inside the old coop, placing them near the bed blankets for warmth. Her father had left the family for parts unknown.  Said he would return after he made his fortune. That day never came for Grandmother and her five children.  A woman on her own in 1941 meant very hard times. I can’t say mother never complained because she did. I heard every horrible story of her life she could recall.  How they cooked and ate her pet chicken. Not telling her until the middle of dinner after she had eaten her portion, then laughing at her as she threw up the hideous uncaring memory of eating Mazie, her best friend. The many men her mother entertained, sometimes putting little “Babe” between her and a strange man for protection. Really awful stories no child should ever have to endure. 
And then she met my father. Spoiled he was, the youngest of a family of eight. And I mean youngest. All the other siblings were grown when he was unexpectedly conceived.  You see, Grandmother was told she would never bare any more children after a terrible fall from a hay wagon onto a pitchfork that pierced her private parts as unimaginable as that sounds it was fact. Nevertheless along came little Ronald whose older sisters and brothers spoiled him beyond the word. So when he met mother he expected to be similarly soured as he had been, and so she did. Once again leaving her with accepted and possibly unintentionally predestined hard times.
One blessing was mother’s rich sister Aggie who secretly dropped off care packages with cash money tucked inside the pockets of the clothes she bought for all of us.  If father had any caring other than himself he would have noticed and been grateful but he did not which was to our benefit or he would have snatched the hidden money for with no regret. For some strange reason he didn’t want us to be happy. He reminded me of the old man Scrooge in the book “The Ghost of Christmas Past.” Either way that was our life, my brother’s, mine, and mothers. I am sure that is the reason I cleaved to Willie all my growing up years. I always considered Willie to be more my family than the one I was born into.   
Yet I was there with that very family when the radio blared the declaration of war directly into our perfectly pink kitchen. None of us ever imagined life would take such a radical turn for the worse.    We were seated at the chrome dinner table about to say a blessing upon the thick; I think German, macaroni and cheese casserole Mom had prepared.  We, being my brother Jackson and I, Julie. We listened when Father held up the notorious hand that meant, SILENCE!  That is when we heard the voice of the President of the United States coming across the airways with the chill of an icicle on each word he spoke. 
“Mr. Vice President, Mr. Speaker, Members of the Senate, and of the House of Representatives:
Yesterday, December 7th, 1941—a date which will live in infamy—the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.
The United States was at peace with that nation and, at the solicitation of Japan, was still in conversation with its government and its emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific.
Indeed, one hour after Japanese air squadrons had commenced bombing in the American island of Oahu, the Japanese ambassador to the United States and his colleague delivered to our Secretary of State a formal reply to a recent American message. And while this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no threat or hint of war or of armed attack.
It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time, the Japanese government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace.
The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian Islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces. I regret to tell you that very many American lives have been lost. In addition, American ships have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu.
Yesterday, the Japanese government also launched an attack against Malaya.
Last night, Japanese forces attacked Hong Kong.
Last night, Japanese forces attacked Guam.
Last night, Japanese forces attacked the Philippine Islands.
Last night, the Japanese attacked Wake Island.
And this morning, the Japanese attacked Midway Island.
Japan has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesterday and today speak for themselves. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our nation.
As Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense. But always will our whole nation remember the character of the onslaught against us.
No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.
I believe that I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost, but will make it very certain that this form of treachery shall never again endanger us.
Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory, and our interests are in grave danger.
With confidence in our armed forces, with the unbounding determination of our people, we will gain the inevitable triumph—so help us God.
I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, December 7th, 1941, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese empire.”
I kept interrupting saying, “Father, does that mean Willie, does it? Will he have to go?” 
Father just gave me the old angry and I mean it eyebrow crunch, hand up signal. I sat in silence listening to the terrifying words.  My mind racing in so many different directions I lost myself to the place of tears.  Mom was standing behind Jackson, her baby son, crying in like manner. He was always her favorite. Our home was filled with photos of Jackson doing this, Jackson doing that, but only one of me nearly hidden on a shelf behind the big chair in the living room. You see I reminded mother of one of her less than socially acceptable sisters. Mother was a sweet woman but when it came to her sister Buella she fell short of kind. I wasn’t allowed to visit Auntie B or touch her if we accidentally ran into her in private or public. Mother said I might catch something dirty should I get too close. How rather silly I thought to myself.  Father on the other hand was only too eager to touch Auntie B. It was the only time I caught rage in my mother’s eyes. One day we were alone in the house and I inquired as to why she acted so strange when father got too close to Auntie Buella. She told me a few months after they were married and she was newly pregnant with me my father stayed overnight with her sister.  My eyes got big as a full moon rising and I murmured, “You mean, they, they……”
Mother said, “Yes, they, they!” Somehow in her mind father being unfaithful to her while pregnant with me triggered disfavor between us and our relationship as far back as I could recall. And then just as quickly as my mind had gone into a memory trance regarding my mother loving my brother more than me it came back to the reality of the moment.
At first I wasn’t mentally aware of what was truly happening.  The radio, Fathers anger, Mom crying, and me alone in my head with Willie, where was Willie and to Hell with the macaroni and cheese dinner.  I sprang from my chair running toward the phone.  I lifted the mouthpiece only to find the operator telling everyone they would have to wait their turns. Then a sound that mimicked busy busy busy.  Running or even biking to Willie’s would be faster than waiting for the darn operator, who was at that moment trying to put at least a hundred people on hold while connecting others one at a time. Why… her manual plug in cords must have been near fire hot! Once my wits were back to me I realized those phones would not be available for a month now that war had been declared.  That is when I heard the loud whaling voice of my mother behind me.  “Julie, wait!  Wait!”  I ignored her and with one hard push I hit the screen door and then the pavement, running, running to Willie.
Willie and I had been best friends all through grade school. We had been over all the normal schoolyard games such as marbles, London Bridges by the way which not a positive game is for children I came to learn. My mom told me historians believe the rhyme itself refers to a superstitious practice of killing and burying a child at the bridge site to keep it from collapsing. After learning of this I shared it with the other girls on the playground who remained screaming off and on during every “London Bridges falling down falling down, London Bridges falling down, my fair lady!” And then we would move onto skipping, chasings, hidings, marbles which mostly the boys did. We girls did knucklebones,” better known as Jacks.  Throw the little ball into the air, grab as many metal starbursts as you can and hold them in the same hand while smacking your knuckles on the cement as you scoop them up and catch the ball you just threw into the air as it falls to the cement or dirt. Lest I not forget Red Rover Red Rover! Sometimes I would join the girls for hopscotch and jacks.  Willie would play ball and chase with the boys but always we would meet up to have lunch together most every day.  The other children made fun of us the first few years and then settled in knowing it was probably always going to be this way, Willie Donns and Julie Bloodsworth.



U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Leo J. Husak, 21, of West, Texas. (photo courtesy of: Defense POW/MIA Accounting Agency)

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

Re-Post from 2012 "My Grandma "Tillie Jungbluth"

My Grandmother Mathilda Mae Heiny Jungbluth is special to me and I am to her. By the way she be dead. I have a photo of her and Pa, a black and white glossy that has flown off the wall in my bedroom twice in my life just when I was about to make a really bad decision.  She was doing her best to STOP me, but I was young and did not realize her intention.  I did think it very spooky the first time it fell off its nail perch with no cause and effect going on.  No one jumping or humping on the bed, no wind gales coming thru the window.  And no one vacuuming or dusting for cobwebs accidentally did it.  Nope....she did it.
The three instances have occurred over a forty year period of time and wouldn't you know it she struck again this evening.
I have had an extremely difficult two months with stress levels to the moon where she obviously was perched and took notice.  I realize this card I made with her photo on it isn't as heavy as a framed glossy but....it has sat there for months and never fell off the shelf it resides on across from "me" bed.  Tonight I was in the "rest room" (why its called that I don't know) and when I came out there she lay right in my pathway....  I said to myself....oh crud now what?  It has to be good grannie cause I am up to my brows in chit lately.  I sure hope she lets me know what it is I am not supposed to do.  Oh, could it be, leave my livelihood (job) and put the cat and dog in the car with kitty litter and hit the road  ( don't forget the laptop) for as far as my gas tank will go!  God wouldn't that just be a gas.  Puns, I love em.  I don't want to die or anything nutz like that. I just want something besides work and taking the dog out to pee, and more work, and taking the dog out to pee, and getting groceries and washing the car and so on.  Oh I am grateful for all the working and being able to take the dog out to pee.  Heck I am grateful I can still pee. On my own that is.  And I don't live in Iran or Iraq or Syria, those poor peoples. Yet still....Grannie is trying to tell me something along with the pigeon (dove) that flew directly at me, when I was taking the dog out to pee.  So close over my head the dog got scared and jumped on my leg to pic her up. And when I turned quickly to see where it went it was GONE.  Oh yes I said GONE!   Pigeons or doves coming before you means you need to make your home more family-ish... okay it really means to huddle with your family as there will be safety adn security in that activity.  Oh my god you have to be kidding me.... What am I missing?
hummm, sort of the opposite of driving AWAY as far as the gas tank will go huh?  Which is only 300 miles max with my car.  So that means I could end up north almost to Marinette, Wisconsin, or East into Lake Michigan, or South to Centrailia, Ill. Or West to some god forsaken place in Iowa.  No wonder Grannie is telling me to knock it off and settle in.  It is what is is, it is what I have been dealt, so deal.  (Chit, I really wanted to get away, but I suppose a planned vacation would make more sense. YA THINK?)  okay okay I wont run away this time.

Saturday, May 4, 2019

Quinine!

So I drink. Yup. I drink before bed. In 1994 I watched a 20/20 on Restless leg syndrome which I have and have had for most my life.  20/20 said studies proved drinking a beer or two before bed stopped RLS. Given I do not like beer and I had friends that over-indulged in the drink of hard liquor and had shown me how to drink down a bit a Scotch....I noticed no RLS those weekend evenings. That said I started having TWO shots of J & B Scotch before bed to this day.
And yes I informed my physician of my choice of poison.  Her pills or my Scotch.  All went well for a decade at the least....then the RLS started coming back...so I once again listened to friends who suggested Quinine or Tonic Water with my Scotch.  The RLS went away but I began having headaches which is not the normal at all for me. Not a headache person. Unless I ingest Lactose which gives me a severe migraine. Otherwise nope no headaches.  So I went to GOOGLE like I do for every question I have in life.

Google told me things that scared me!!  Said Quinine can be fatal.  And number one side effect was headaches.  Ya think??  Now what ?  Bar of soap under the sheets?  Gabapentin?  No No No!!

After a few nights of jumping out of bed five times with leg spasms I am back on Quinine.  Which is truly to treat Malaria.

Quinine is a medication used to treat malaria and babesiosis. This includes the treatment of malaria due to Plasmodium falciparum that is resistant to chloroquine when artesunate is not available. 
While used for restless legs syndrome, it is not recommended for this purpose due to the risk of side effects.

Not long ago I had surgery with the complication of A-Fib.  I was treated with a drug called Amniodarone.  No pharmacist or doctor told me I could not mix grapefruit and or TONIC/Quinine with that drug.  By the way Amniodarone is a strong life saving heart medication.  Wouldn't "cha" think someone would have told me... As usual I googled it and saved me own life!  

"I'll just deal. Me and my J & B will just deal....."  







Friday, March 8, 2019

Used To Be??

I would like, no, I would love my lips to be plump and have a line around them like they used to...
I would like, no, I would love my breasts to be plump and stand up similar to the way they used to.....
I would like, no, I would love the little blue veins in my legs to go back inside and hide like they used to....
I would like, no, I would love the knobs on each finger to melt back into silent hard bones like they used to....
I would like, no, I would love my eyes to stop looking like my Grandma's and be like they used to....
I would like, no, I would love my face to lift and stretch its skin back up to the Lord like it used to....
I would like, no, I would love for my hair to be thick, curly, and sensual, like it used to .....
I would like, no, I would love the skin on my arms and legs to reach to the sky like they used to.....
I would like, no, I LOVE the gravity that has taken on the outside who I used to be.....
I would like, no, I would love the hard skin on my feet to soften and wrap themselves around someone they love.....like they used to.....
I would like, no, I would love my mid section tree trunk appearance to measure something like it used to.....
I would like, no, I LOVE my mind and the fact it is not like it used to be!!  The rest has been paid for...
I would never go back to the way it used to be. I know who I am under it all.
 Better check the camera settings and get them back to the way they used to be.....  Brighter!!

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Cancer Fight

I am a Christian.. I am a believer.  I am a person who respects others beliefs.  That being said...
I got to thinking:

The Amish do not use any new age developments. No electricity, no gas powered plows etc. 
The Watusi and Tutsi among other uncontacted tribes of the various jungles of the world know there is a spirit but they don't know his or its name or origin. NO one relates to the tribes that if they don't believe in the Jesus and that he was born of spirit that they will burn in some hell beneath the earth. 
The Ba Hai' just believe in being good. BUT...Established by Bahá'u'lláh in 1863, it initially grew in Iran and parts of the Middle East. You know Iran, the folks that want to missile America and kill us all!
The Belly guy, you know, Buddha!  Those folks do everything the Bible says to do not realizing it. Meanwhile believing if they rub the Belly of the plastic Buddha they will have luck.
And then there are the Catholics who are known for their mercy, the Lutherans, known for their ?? They live by the teachings of ONE MAN, Martin Luther and his interpretations. Then they re write the Bible under the DICTATORSHIP of King James.  UFDA!
The Baptists who don't like dancing...and practice their main belief which is Baptism. A person must proclaim his belief in Christ by being submerged in water.
Methodists are convinced that building loving relationships with others through social service works towards the inclusiveness of God's love. Most Methodists teach that Christ died for all of humanity, not just for a limited group, and thus everyone is entitled to God's grace and protection. In theology, this view denies that God has pre-ordained an elect number of people to eternal bliss while others are doomed to hell no matter what they do in life.

(So far the Methodists have my vote! I was raised Lutheran, also played in the Pentecostal arena, Lived in the south were Baptists rule and Pentecostals  )

The Pentecostal believe God is in them and they have the power to heal just as God did when he was on earth.  I might try this one.

The Chinese kill their people for believing in Fung Sway.  Which is no more than balancing good and bad energy.  Any and all GOOD is GOOD energy no matter where it derives from.
 
There are wars that kill fought over these beliefs.  Is that good energy?  Notsomuch.  There are people who believe they have the power within them saying God gave it to them. They are to use it to heal.

So what is all the ta-doo about Religions here?

I found out I have cancer in my body. 

Soo....  Beside getting the traditional chemical treatments and surgeries.....Do I leave my home and all its comforts including electricity....go live with the Amish who are very good business people but not so good at taking their loved ones to the hospital for care and they don't have phones or TV.  Do I simply be super kind to everyone like the Ba Hai.  Should I buy a plastic Buddha or an ivory one and rub its belly morning noon and night for healing.  Should I call the Catholic priest for an exorcism of the bad cancer demon from my body.  Should I Promise the Baptist God I will never dance again and have someone dunk me in the local dirty lake to be cleansed and prove I believe. Should I speak in tongues of goobly goo hoping/believing the spirits and Angels of the Universe can understand my language and God that resides in me will remove the issue from my body??  Or should I do what the Watusi of the jungle do.... who have never known civilization, nor have they  met a Buddhist, a Methodist, a Lutheran, Catholic, Islamic Muslim, or an Amish. (Can you just picture that on in an 8 x 10 black and white glossy? An Amish and a Watusi?) I'm betting on ....the jungle people only know what is in their spirit ??  They have no human corporate interference.  Only the energy they feel inside themselves from the Spirit of the Universe. 

That is my answer.....  not that  I will gather my long walking stick, build a fire outside my apartment, wear very little clothing while dancing around like I was on an island inhabited by Watusi. Humming as I Meditate and wait.

Probably a better idea is to sit quietly inside and Meditate only from within and listen from beyond.

Sunday, February 10, 2019

Fiction!!

Most all my blog stories are FICTION!  Based on some mi-nute reality.  I enjoy the vivid imagination I was blessed with. Although sometimes it goes too far.... Or maybe not far enough? Possibly the novel hasn't been written that will far surpass all the rest of these silly blogs since 2007.  I do have the dreaded cancer...My friend told me her favorite 's are Sparkly Pink things and the word Fuck.  She has cancer also.  And now I understand.