Things Men Say and Then They Don't - "Let's Keep it Casual" by Julianna Rowe

 "Things Men Say Then They Don't"

 A series on language, clarity, and the quiet announcements people make before they disappear. Hosted on: The Happy News Lady

“Let’s keep it casual,” he says, about something you’re already investing time, care, and hope into. It

sounds reasonable, relaxed and very modern. Like he’s being honest instead of evasive. But “casual” rarely means the same thing to the person saying it as it does to the person hearing it. Casual for him usually means: no expectations, no accountability, and no consequences. It means enjoying the benefits of closeness without the responsibility of clarity. Or better said, connection without commitment and presence without planning. Casual for you means something else entirely. It means remembering details, adjusting your schedule, showing interest, and quietly doing the emotional labor while pretending it doesn’t count. You’re told not to get attached while being treated in ways that naturally create attachment. You’re asked to stay light while carrying the weight. If it only works when one person cares less, that’s not casual that’s imbalance wearing a relaxed outfit. Men use “let’s keep it casual” when they want the relationship to stay flexible....for them. When they want access without obligation and intimacy without definition. And if you ask what casual actually means, you’re often told you’re overthinking or making things complicated, or pushing too hard. But wanting to know where you stand isn’t pressure.

It’s orientation. 

Casual isn’t the absence of labels. It’s the absence of honesty about what’s really being offered. And when “casual” starts to feel confusing, uneven, or quietly painful, it’s usually because one person is drifting while the other is still showing up. That’s not ease. That’s erosion.  I say this clean, to the point, no hit, no aftertaste!

So no, this series isn't written from bitterness.  It is written from clarity.  If you recognize yourself here, welcome.   You're among friends.

 Signing out until tomorrow's topic:  "You're Overthinking!"