"Things Men Say Before They Don't" - "YOU'RE OVERTHINKING" by Julianna Rowe

"Things Men Say Then They Don't"

 A series on language, clarity, and the quiet announcements people make before they disappear. Hosted on: The Happy News Lady

While these pieces focus on men, the language of avoidance isn't gendered. Anyone who's disappeared will recognize it.

 You're Overthinking....                        

“You’re overthinking,” he says, as if thinking accurately is a design flaw. It sounds gentle. Almost helpful, even a bit like concern. But what it usually means is something else entirely:

Please stop noticing patterns, please stop remembering what I said, please stop connecting the dots that form my outline.

You weren’t overthinking. You were thinking clearly in a situation where clarity was inconvenient.

You noticed the delay. The tone shift. The warmth cooling where it used to live. The sentence that didn’t land right, the answer that didn’t actually answer anything. You didn’t imagine those things.You observed them. Instead of responding to what you noticed, he diagnosed you.

“You’re overthinking” is not concern. It’s a redirect. It moves the focus away from his behavior and places it squarely on your perception, your reaction, your mind. Because if you keep thinking, he might have to explain himself and explanations require honesty, and honesty requires consistency. Labeling your awareness as a flaw is easier than answering the question it raised.

Men use this phrase when they want the conversation to stop without actually ending it. When they want the benefits of being understood without the responsibility of being clear so you start doubting yourself. Replaying conversations. Softening your tone. Asking the same question again, but smaller this time. That’s not resolution.That’s erosion. And if thinking is truly the problem, ask yourself why it only becomes a problem when you’re right.

Tomorrows Topic: "Why Are You Making This a Thing? "

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