What Men Say When They Don't......."I'm Just Really Busy" by Julianna Rowe

What Men Say When They Don't- A series on language, clarity, and the quiet announcement peple make before they disappear. Hosted on?  The Happy News Lady

While these pieces focus on  men, the language of avoidance isn’t gendered. Anyone whose disappeared will recognize it. 

“I’m Just Really Busy.”

There’s a sentence women have been handed for decades like it’s a polite explanation instead of what it really is.

“I’m just really busy.”                       

Busy with work.

Busy with family.

Busy with stress. 

Busy with projects. 

Busy with life. 

Busy, busy, busy. But here’s what no one tells you: When a man is interested, he is not too busy. He is intentional. Busy men still eat. Busy men still sleep. Busy men still scroll their phones. Busy men still make time for what matters to them. If he has time to breathe, he has time to text. The truth is rarely that he is busy. The truth is: You are not at the top of his priority list. And that hurts more than the excuse. Because “busy” sounds reasonable. It sounds adult. It sounds responsible. It makes you feel unreasonable for wanting consistency. So, you shrink your expectations, and you tell yourself he works hard. You remind yourself not to be “needy" and you become flexible. You become understanding. You become small. All the while waiting for a free hour in his calendar.

But here is what women eventually learn: Interest rearranges schedules. Desire finds minutes. Consistency is a choice. “I’m just really busy” is often a soft rejection disguised as responsibility. And the longer you accept it, the longer you sit on the sidelines of your own life. The man who wants you does not pencil you in. He makes space.

If he is always busy, stop rearranging your life to fit into his margins.

You were never meant to be a footnote!

Starting Act III tomorrow-