My Car Wouldn't Start!.........by Julianna Rowe

The Day My Car Wouldn't Start      by Julianna Rowe

I had a moment this week. One of those moments where you begin questioning your age, your memory, and whether you should still be operating machinery.

I came out of my chiropractor appointment, climbed into my car, and pushed the button to start it. Nothing. I pushed it again. Nothing. Immediately my mind went into financial panic mode.

"Oh no. Battery, Starter, Alternator, Thousands of dollars! Homeless? Guess I'll be living in the chiropractor parking lot." I sat there for a few seconds trying to figure out what disaster had just struck. Then I happened to glance down an see that I wasn't pushing the Start button, I was pushing the Volume button on the radio the entire time. 

My car was perfectly healthy. The only thing getting more powerful was the radio. I had spent several minutes diagnosing a catastrophic mechanical failure while turning up the volume.

Now, before anyone starts sending me brochures for assisted living facilities, I would like to point out that modern cars have approximately 4,276 buttons.  The Start button sits right next to other buttons. The other buttons all look important and apparently one of them looks important enough that I mistook it for the Start button.

The good news is my battery is fine. The starter is fine. The alternator is fine and the chiropractor is fine. The only thing that may need servicing is the driver. I finally pushed the correct button. The car started immediately and I drove away laughing. 

Well... eventually laughing. First I looked around to make sure nobody had seen me. Because some stories are funny and some stories are funny only after witnesses leave. That's my modern car syndrome for today.

Back in my day a car had: A key, a steering whee,l and a radio. 

Now they have: A Start button. A Stop button. A Volume button. A Screen button. A Button To Explain The Other Buttons. And naturally the two most important buttons are right next to each other. Fact is I feel like I am driving an oversized computer on wheels.  There are buttons and guages I have never used because I do not know what they are for. And the manual is likened to the Websters Dictionary.  I only use it when I have to figure out how to re-fix my headlights when my son turns them off the automatic section.  

Go ahead and image that in an 8x10 glossy!  I get in the car.  Push. Nothing. "OH DEAR GOD. Not today." Push again. Nothing. Now my mind was racing.

 

"Starter?" 

"Alternator?"

"Battery?"

"Transmission?

"Will I be living in this parking lot? Kitty litter in the back seat?"  Meanwhile my radio volume is quietly going:  2... 4... 7... 12... 18...

NOTICE MY LICENSE PLATE SAYS:   ALSWELL!!   

(Yes, I am aware I my creative urge met up with my license plate.)