Expensive Blue Douche from China..by Diane Ogden

Well sit down. I thought I had a bladder infection....not. I thought I might have yeast from meds...not...I thought, its a tumor or cancer, no cancer doesn't usually hurt, OK then something else horrible in my body....duh...what from? So I make the appointment.
Doc and I talk about this situation. Then she asks me if I have put anything in "my" v-j j lately. I told her I hadn't in eight years...she laughed and said, "I guess that is a definite no." She was then polite be rephrasing that question and asked if I used any special scents in "my" v-j-j lately? I said I used a vinegar and water douche as I thought I might have yeast from antibiotic.... Then I remembered......I said, "Wait, when I bought the throw away vinegar douche box I accidentally bought that awful BLUE off brand probably from China and made with road paint." I thought she would split a side laughing. I said, "I went ahead and used the blue one about a week ago, and that is about when all this started. Oh My God, I am my Mother....I used it because I paid for it!! Just like my Mother use to make us eat ALL the food because they paid for it, "It cost money," was the word.. "that is why I have been ten pounds overweight all my life. This is all my Mothers fault!" She was laughing bunches. I told her then I used the used bottle for the vinegar and water. She thinks the road paint from China might be the problem, too harsh, and I am to just leave it alone for a few days. I said, "Like it is alone anyway." So no pessary, and it burns, and hard to pee. So...I told her that "China Blue is now the most expensive douche I have ever had in my life. " I could have bought a new small leather sofa for what that appointment cost!

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Dish Satellite Sucks...by Diane Ogden

This is what the Dish Dude left in my office! And this is over one year after I was tricked into signing up. Some older woman called me from a Local small town office and told me all the right things. I was tired of Charter's messed up office help and communication skills as are many others so I bit the "Dish Satellite Deal." She did fail to tell me that while I rec'd a promotional $5o, which I had to fuss to get, and that my FREE Satellite wasn't really free and after the first year I would pay $70 a month for my TV viewing! Yes just my TV viewing. And I wasn't allowed to shut my land phone line off for two years. (I don't need it) And the contract was for two years. AND if I do cancel Dish will charge me a $370.00 FINE, and TDS Phone will charge me a $165.00 FINE. If I can add right that is $535 for all those pretty wires you see plus more. OK, so when the young service "couple" arrived they didn't seem to know what to do. That is after the initial DISH meeting where the two young Spanish gentlemen couldn't find my place and one couldn't speak English. Then they said the office told them they couldn't put wires thru any walls. So they left. Then the next crew came and checked it all out and said yes we can put wires thru windows. huh? So they bent two screens and pulled the wires through. They ran two in my bedroom window, under the bed, across the walkway into the TV. Then from there out into the L.R. and into another TV.. Then thru an office window (which you cannot shut in the depth of winter or the reception is "squashed." ) The cold air blows right in so I put rolled towels on sills in each room. Boy isn't this swell so far? More wires into the office room of which the photos are of, then out into the l.r. and over to the other computer LCD TV Monitor. I am not a young chic, I am an older hen. My eggs dried up a while back so falling on wires running all over my home isn't such a hot idea. Course not much else hot going on around here. Back to my point. I called Dish and told them, Cant fall down, could you fix? Nice man sent out kid who called and changed appt. time because it was Sunday and he wanted to finish early. I complied. Duh. He left me that mess. He was also supposed to run the wires over door jams etc. Does it look like he did or was even the type to. Add that he smelled like he had smoked for days in the same clothes. I quit smoking six or seven years ago, I don't want to feel like I have to do it again after the kid leaves. Dish Sucks....as you can see. That is just inappropriate business. What to do?

"Teaching Little Ladies" by Diane Ogden

On the left is Stephen Wolfe, with or without the e

I know not! On the right is my son Chad and the three little munch-kins are Chad's children. Chad calls Stephen his brother from the other Mother. I say they were brothers from another lifetime for sure. They are very close friends as well as Stephen being the girls GodFather. So here's my take on Stephen's place in their family. I have observed him with the girls on many occasions and I find it quite an amazing "site." The man has the innate ability to treat these three little girls with total patience number one, but even more important he treats them like they are "little women." Yes, like they are real grown yet little women. He offers them total respect, love, honors them, cherishes them, kisses their cheeks and holds them dearly to his heart. He is basically teaching them never to settle for less in a man when they are in Jr. High, or High School, or out in the world that can be cruel. They will find wonderful caring husbands because of Stephens interactions with them. Not to leave out their Daddy Chad, because he also is very respectful of his girls. Although it is easier for Stephen who doesn't live with three little mischievous almost the same age girls!! Stephen may be even more appreciated come the teenage years! Stephen is like the continual vacation Dad. Not fair but still wonderful. Stephen will fly into Madison just to take the girls miniature golfing for one afternoon. (He lives in Arizona) And they know this! They know how special they are. He buys them beautiful long dresses and beautiful princess shoes to match their relationship. Not so many little girls have this blessing called Stephen. He is a prize of positive actions and reactions, good energy, great balance and I again I believe they are all connected on a plain from somewhere other than what it appears. Earthly or ?? Sometimes we get to hit on something almost perfect on this earth no matter where or why. This little combo is almost perfect. A big thank you to Stephen for his genuine love and kindness and all around good spirit. And a thank you to the other Mother because she must have done something right. I wonder if Stephen is an Angel in disguise? If not its a close race for a seat on a star for Stephen.

Vegg-ing! by Diane Ogden

Nothing about this picture of total relaxation and security will change the world. And nothing about my day (that I know of anyway, but then do remember the Christmas Story with the Angel George!) will change the world. I used to write amazing fiction for this blog, then I got into family and now its a maze back and forth of important to non-important blog posts. But come on, this pic is too wonderful. I know I should lose the county stuffed doll thingy but how can I? That is Lucy Cats secure spot...she sleeps in the lap of that old stuffed country woman! And Grace, she is plain old happy next to Lucy...I hate to tell you but she humps Lucy every time I take her somewhere and we get home. doi! And the funny in all this is me trying to get the RED OUT of their eyes. Animals eyes do not take photo's well. They look like gargoyles....I at least got some of the alien look out... Lucy and Gracie...my little friends in life. Sometimes I worry about what should become of them if I should die before I wake. I do have to fill out that WILL. I belong to PrePaid Legal and have the opportunity to take advantage of the offering of a legal... free... Will! it is sitting here waiting for me to send in. DO NOT PROCRASTINATE.. It can be devastating for the ones left behind. I would want Lindsay to take care of Gracie Allen or have her put down. Lucy has anxiety and needs very special care. Actually so does Grace. She is from the Humane Society and loves children, dislikes dark skinned women, likes men, and is very very fussy. Has a collapsed larynx and or asthma...when overexcited she cannot breath. I blow in/on her nose and then she is fine. If its winter I take her to the outside door and the cold air stops it. If its summer, a fan stops it. So if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord Gracie and Lucy to be taken care of....famously thank you!

Chocolate Chip Cookies by Diane Ogden

This is one Twin! We rarely ever have the chance to spend time together alone, you know bonding. Well we did this time baking a half dozen of chocolate chip cookies. No big story here, just good old fashioned stirring flour and butter and licking several spoons! Laughing...with one twin! Who, by the way when leaving, turned around and thanked me and said, "Nana, this was fun, could we do this again sometime? I love you...." as she skipped down the hall onto miniature golfing.....

Marie Antionette Visited Me Today by Diane Ogden

OK so this isn't really Marie Antionette, or is it? It is one of my Grand-daughter twins....Camryn. She actually asked me if she could take a bath. That is why I am making due note of this day. Her Other Uncle, my son's Brother from the other Mother, is flying in tomorrow for a half a day visit. The girls adore him which means, bath time and powder and clean hair. I do wish I carried that sort of clout with them! Naw, they love me lots and they like coming to have sleepovers, play with the cool dollhouse, the bears and bear furniture along with tea set and dolls and all sorts of art supplies. Having them clean is an extra plus. This Nana likes little girls to have nice clean hair for sure...combed by the way which we also do not get to see too often. Clean and smelling good is nice. Ya think?

Birth and Death...by Diane Ogden

I think birth is just like death. There is a dark place, canal type area, larger in death than birth, there is a very bright light...there is pain most of the time. I believe in birth there is a feeling of suffocation to a degree...like a fish out of water. Same in death yet it lasts longer most of the time. Death sucks, but then maybe birth does too. One has to want to get very miserable to put the necessary effort into birthing the child. And maybe the child has to get to a certain place also before it wants to go thru that mess! Birth, for the most part is not easy. Death for the most part is not easy either... Both are a process of moving from one dimension to another in my opinion.
I have spent much time lately in Nursing Homes, funeral homes, hospitals. Sucks I say. The only good experience I have seen with death came thru Hospice. God let me die at a Hospice Facility. They make is sooo easy. Because there is nothing good or easy about what I have seen lately. Nursing homes, no matter how they are rated suck canal water! They are dying mills and for every good CNA there are three lazy ones who do not do their jobs. Imagine getting a lazy funeral director. ha. (sorry) Or a lazy ICU nurse or doctor! Been there seen it. I have to start sending out more positive energy so my lifepath goes more positive and stays that way forever. That is called positive fear.... (motivation)

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Two Many Funerals Lately...by Diane Ogden

"Two" many funerals lately.. ...I had to take a "breather" and make sure I was still doing so. Jeez, dying sucks for those passing and those taking part in. Not that I do not believe there is more, because I do. Anyway, I am back for now. I wanted to share my idea for Refrigerator doilies!

Yup....now one could use retro black or retro white or yellow towels...no matter. I used what I had on hand. Take the idea and run with it...Saves time on cleaning and its cool!

"Nana, I Dont Want to Leave Chuck" by Diane Ogden

Chuck is in the hearse...he is my x.....and that is my Granddaughter. I was coming out of the funeral at the church carrying a slow cooker, had my rain coat over my head due to the umbrella being in the trunk, my camera around my neck on a cord and stuffed into my blazer pocket, and a purse to deal with...I spotted this forever photo and immediately began fumbling for my camera! Got it! Even though I discovered later the setting had gotten changed and most the photos were blurred. No matter, there she stood peering into the dark and grey huge vehicle that she watched some big men put Chuck into. She never knew Chuck, but she has been very sensitive about her Daddy's Dad dying. And there he was all alone in that grey huge car on a grey huge day. I missed the shot of her resting her head on the window and looking down at the ground. She did not want to leave him. There were a hundred people there talking and getting food, and getting into cars and coats on and flags in, lining up, some saying goodbye,........meantime with total solitude she stood peering at the dead, not understanding it, yet knowing she wanted to help him....that little girl faced death square all by herself, no fear, only compassion.

Dont Fart at the Funeral! by Diane Ogden

I wonder if anyone else ever worries about that. I am off to the x's funeral. Jeez, I cant believe it, he died. And I am worried about farting. Sure I am, I am the x and his family would love it if I slipped up, especially from that end. I think its too late for Beano...you know, take Beano and there'll be no gas. Yup too late, anyway this isn't from beans...its from nerve endings...all over the place. I hide it well except on that end...cant hide those sometimes and depending on where you are at, you cant always blame it on those darn cows, or the dog. Aint none of those at the church. Anyway, what's the big deal, at least I am alive to fart! My friend says I should say fert...so I refuse to fert at the funeral. The end. p.s. If I hadn't sampled the broccoli casserole and stuck to my normal half peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but I didn't.... we're off.

Injured Male Cardinal by Diane Ogden

I was searching Google to learn about cardinals and how they might help one another if one is injured considering I came upon that very thing. I found an injured male Cardinal who wouldn't move even though we walked withing ten inches of him.. He did fluff himself out due to what I expect was anxiety. I thought he was stuck in the ice like the kid in Christmas Story who stuck his tongue on the pole! We were going to get some warm water and run it towards his feet but before we could do it, two other male Cardinals came right down on the ground and stayed with him until he recovered. Then they all flew away together..must have been brothers eh? Or at least grew up together! Or maybe a cardinal kid that never grew up...still getting into jams!

My X Husband Died...by Diane Ogden

I have a couple of x husbands. You always remember the love you once had. Why you wouldn't have married him or them otherwise. But things happen, people change, not that I don't take commitment seriously because I did and do. Sometimes people drink and act like that Chris Brown guy in the news lately with his girlfriend Rhianna. That is when a wife must leave to protect her self and her children. I said this,"Once you marry and have children, no matter what happens, it is for life." My 36 year old son had never known this man until these past few dying days. My son was attentive to his estranged Father night and day for almost four days. He held his hand, he stroked his hair, he loved him and forgave him. Isn't it interesting it happened the same week his wife Tamara was on Dateline telling the world of the Father she never knew. And isn't it interesting that my third son, Christopher journeyed to Arkansas via L.A., Tucson, Sedonna to stay with the Dad that left us when Chris was 4.... I am sure they bonded and gladly that happened before death. No matter, it is good no matter when it happens in this lifetime. Just odd don't cha think? Three of them in one week! Must be something in the air. So, the funeral is tomorrow. Sad. He went into the hospital for a routine biopsy and died.... no warning.

I will make a chicken casserole, take homemade salsa and chips for the his Granddaughter to offer up.... pay respects and come home and clean the house. Isn't that the way it goes....we have to move on. His heart stopped beating so he had no choice but to die. We cant die....we have to keep going be that cleaning, crying, loving, dying.... I am sorry that happened to you Chuck. I wished you had a better life.....

Wacky Ghostly Weekend...by Diane Ogden

First was the much anticipated Dateline William "Billy" Miller Presentation to the country. I must have all my sensory perceptions on high alert for some "strange," (pun) reason. I felt Billy's presence sitting directly next to me watching his story on the TV. No emotion from him except total love while watching his children speak to millions on his behalf. What a life gift even in death. Something all of us would treasure for eternity. Then my work helper made plans to bring her daughter to for a play date with my Grand-children but she never showed up or called. "Manners," huh? No ghosts in that one that I know of, just another kink in the day that caused undue issues for us. Then the phone rang, and the caller said, "Diane, this is DeAnne." And before she ever completed those four words, I felt like I was not here. I felt some disconnect with this world. I knew that she was going to tell me death had arrived for her brother, my past husband who was in the hospital. I sensed death and fog all around my earthly and spiritual being. I just knew that I knew. It wasn't anxiety, it wasn't fear, it wasn't guessing....I knew and for the first time in my life death was near. I felt/sensed/lived that fact for ten seconds. Like a dream that you know really happened while you slept. Somewhere it happened. This happened also. Later that day he went in for a serious lung surgery. My Son, His Son, went up to see him, touched him, forgave him. I have to go also. I felt his spirit calling me yesterday but I had all the little girls so his Son could go, as well as waiting for the other little girl that never showed up or called. Don't cha just love when that happens? My third son called from Sedona, Arizona where he is hiking and taking in all the spirits and free closeness with God he can. He will be an amazing teacher soon. As well as his destination is Arkasas to stay with his estranged Father, finding peace in that relationship after two decades plus. And the eldest son passed on to us the news he has been diagnosed with emphysema. Even sadder are his living quarters called Prison. His Grandfather died of this, his Father is dying of this, and I get the news he is now diagnosed also. I pray he gets good care which will be a miracle in our prison system. (The Mother of his first Daughter who he communicates with weekly has COPD and experiences lung collapse too often, and her Father is also dying from emphysema as I write. Isn't that all a bit odd?) I suspect we entertain like spirits "sometimes." Last week while driving about the city I saw him three times walking on the streets in different areas. I would see him and get this elateous (is that a word?) sensation of happiness and joy, only to see it wasn't him. But it was! Was it a promise of his freedom? Was it his spirit? Was it my imagination? Not at all. It was him. I wish I could hug my son. We have to pray everyday he doesn't get stabbed with a shank in that unsafe place where gangs rule the house. He sure looked nice in his big coat walking freely on the streets of his city. That is what I must keep in my mind and that is all I should see and think, so his Angels can keep him safe and bring him home. Today I must go see his Father and handle it. Berdie is also in the same hospital...interesting huh?