Easter Basket BLow-out.....by Diane Ogden

So I went to TJ Max to find something really cool for my little Grand daughter but there was nothing cool left there.  Wal Mart was not on my list of places to frequent the day before Easter so I opted for Walgreen's.  That the the Northern edition of the Southern Eckerds.  In I go!  I pick up the cutsie bunnie basket at $9.99.  I can handle that.  Then I start the search for its inerds.  Bubbles. Chocolate footballs, gum, chocolate eggs, M&Ms, a wind up bunny that does flips, a kit kat bar, and omg I forgot PEEPS! How could I forget PEEPS! I have five children that grew up loving PEEPS.  (Personally I hate PEEPS!)  My Grand Daughter called today on their road trip back from their cruise from heaven, stops in St. Thomas and so on...   telling me she hoped their Dad would stop tomorrow and get them some PEEPS on their three day drive back home!  OMG what is it with PEEPS.  PEEPS are sugared marshmallow critters with flavoring.  Okay....

So back to my point. I get to the checkout of the mini wal mart called Walgreens Pharmacy where the cutsie lil girl rings me out.  When I saw the total I about .......what?  Wanted to just walk out!  Wanted to say WHAT? HOW MUCH?  Wanted to say SERIOUSLY..  Ya, Okay, Right.   Wanted to cry but knew I couldn't.  Wanted to throw a public fit but knew I couldn't.  Couldn't believe it so I just pulled out the debit card and swiped it....calmly walked out thinking something was wrong.  The total was $37.00 and something cents.  I say it should have said, "Lady you have lost your cent's."(sense) 

I got home and found I was overcharged $6.00 and something (cents) sense! I still cant find where I spent $20 on items that cost 3 for $1.00 and some .99 each.  And now its all been wrapped up.

Well Happy Easter and Happy Resurrection of my lost money.  Thank you Lord for the return of my losses..... (for the past 60 years thanks) And Thank You that you rose from the dead to show all of us there is life after death and Bunnies that bring stupid things that cost $37.00 a bucket. And dye chicken eggs and hide them on children for fun.  Literally..OMG.  Regardless......I love you. P.S. There were no chickens or eggs when they rolled the stone away right?  That's what I thought. But then there was no Santa at the stable where you were born either.  But at least he brings the idea of gifts of love that we exchange to one another.  What does the bunny have to do with you giving your life for us?  Oh I know.... Like in Alice in Wonderland ....we are all children who need to stop and pay close attention so we can grow and learn to take the right path... 

Ya, like not spending $37.00 on a small bunny basket full of junk to celebrate the resurrection of Christ.  Which means we can all have a new beginning each and every day.

Laters....

Government Clips or "Chips?".................by Diane Ogden

I have heard that the government, or China will be putting identification chips in our bodies at some point in the future.  Why my health provider now scans the veins in my hand before they let me in the office doors.  What is wrong with my face and drivers license and other such ID.  No, now they are scanning me.  I have had this secret fear I was chipped during my sleep.  Or while I had a medical procedure possibly.  And now I know it's true.  And to top it off they gave me a photo after they did it.  They think because they call it a clip I don't get it?  I get it alright, its really a chip that is programmed to exterminate me at a certain time.  They have my bank records and if I do not have over $250,000 income a year I shall be exterminated at a given day in time.  I know I'm right.  Just look at it. It is big enough to hold all my information since birth.What if its ALUMINUM? That causes cancer. Ten dollars says its from China and made of aluminum and nickle. OMG! 

 

Let me explain:  That is a photo of my recent medical procedure at which time they overdosed me so they could implant this killer chip.  It also tells them where I am at all times.  Damn thing has GPS.    I could be wrong but I don't believe so.  The only other explanation is that aliens have infiltrated our entire country through the Insurance Companies on down through all medical facilities, hospitals and doctors offices.  They have reprogrammed chips to fit on all supplies such as staples, probes, ear tubes, contact lenses, tampons, etc. Anything to be placed internally in humans, and have also been placed microscopically on all instruments used to enter human beings through all orifices of the body.  They know our every move. 

 

There are only a select few humans that are aware of this takeover but they have been programmed not to speak of it.  If they do they will incinerate immediately when out of sight of other humans.  That is what all the black cinders are that you think are just black cinders.  They are really human beings that tried to stop this insanity.  The only way to remain free of the alien chips is to never go to the dentist, doctor, or tattoo artist. It's too late for me, but maybe not for you.

 

I was actually joking about this.  I decided to google alien chips in humans and was aghast at how many google pages there are regarding this.  Some people really believe this to be true.  Jeezers People!  I was just joking I thought.  Maybe I was abducted the other day and drugged and chipped.  So if I disappear just look for a little black cinder with one shiny aluminum chip laying somewhere private.  Like a beach or my underground parking ramp.  Just don't step on me, I have had enough!  So until I uncover something enlightening or funny or happy, be well, be safe, be happy, and get rich so you can???   Be happy even with the alien or Chinese aluminum chip in your orifice.     

Colonoscopy and The Full Moon................by Diane Ogden

Well today was interesting to say the least. Not to mention last night after drinking the gallon of salt solution that left my ass foaming. That could have been from the one shot of Blended J&B Scotch I downed at 11:00 p.m. last night. Hey, I couldn't sleep. But that part of this ordeal (notice I say or-deal as a deal is something good, this was an OR notsogood deal) is over and as I walked outside at 6:00 a.m.to get into Jackie's new huge SUV touch tone everything, all the while knowing my paid for Buick in the underground was probably so beyond Jealous that I shall have to make it up to her somehow. Jackie, my friend of 30 years, from Florida was home for a visit. She was so nervous about getting me there on time that she came an hour early. I told her, Hell we have enough time to get to Rockford. Of course she laughed. That is when I noticed the full moon. I absolutely froze in my early morning tracks. I never do medcial appointments during a full moon. No never. You can die by bleed out from doing that. Hey my anxious button was in overdrive today. I saw the parking ramp caving in on us and rubble everywhere. When Jackie pulled into the parking slot (I could see the sky) I was sure we were going thru it and down to death.) But here we were heading for the dreaded poop shooter, alias, the Silver Stallion dreaded scope review. Of which I informed the doctor I had a different vision of what a Silver Stallion is. I told him/them that in my day, which means youth before butt scoping needs, I think they used to call Sylvester Stalone "The Italian Stallion." You know, Sylvester Stalone? The YOUNG doc just stood there looking at me.  I said, "Have you heard of  Arnold Swartzaneger?  Which of course broke the room into laughter. All except me who was staring at a syringe of something setting on a tray nearby.

I asked what is in the syringe, and she said, Benedryl. I told her I don't do so well taking taht family of drugs.... but she shot it into me anyway. God they know when they can do whatever they want. I'd say this was one of those when times. Oh and they told me I could leave my socks on.

What? They don't know how many days I have worn those socks,or where they have walked, or what is on the bottoms of the. Made no diff and so socks went with me into the rotor rooter room. Just think, those socks that could have been dirty full of germs were two feet from my ass.. Jeez. And I had gotten a beautiful little flower painted on my big toe nails just to make them all happy while they "did my ass," but they said no leave your socks on. I said, "No,wait, the flower, W A I T....." And that is when they gave me the dose of fentynol and something else and Benedryl. People.....I don't take

more than a 200 mg. Ibuprofen and that is on occasion. HELLO... And then in a nanosecond I am gone with the full moon.

I wake up. No I don't wake up exactly. I open my eyes a little. Jackie tells the nurse in a loud anticipatory skinny skriek. "SHE'S AWAKE!" (Like I had been in a coma for months) Nurse comes in quickly as I suspect I have taken up one of their expensive move em in move em out beds for sleeping too long. Jackie told me she never saw anyone so out of it. Well I never felt so out of it either. They hustled me out of there on Jackie's arm. Jackie is the size of a fairy, which I told her while under the influence of fentynal, she could use an extra twenty pounds easy. Seriously. My Grandfather would have loved her.... He used to sing this little Popeye song that fits her to a T.

"I love to go swimming with bowlegged women

I'm Popeye the sailor man!"

Jackie has enough room between her legs for a mac truck to drive home, I mean through.

That would be Jackie. She might weight 85 pounds wetted down. Back to my point. We drove out of that place, me in a drug induced state and her trying to see over the steering wheel of the hog SUV she rented. S C A R Y!

She stopped and got me a Whopper and fries. I recall eating two fries and two bites of the burger. Do not remember getting into the SUV honker at the hospital/stockyard. (Or even getting out of at home.)

Finally Home...Fairy sized person walked me straight to bed with my clothes on and I was GONE with the wind! (The gases one gets from the air expelled into the colon from the silver stallion, now renamed, Black Stallion probe) And that is straight from the "horses" (doc's) mouth. That was 11:30 and I woke up at 3:30, still dizzy and drunk on something. I ate part of the rest of

the burger and limp fries, which I wished on that doctor (the limp part) for overdosing me when I specifically told them how sensitive I am to drugs. He was very handsome fellow by the way. So if anyone had to go up my, ass, I guess he would do just fine.

I only hope I didn't talk during because the procedure as I am liable to say anything. Why, because I had an audience. Everyone was laughing from the time I arrived until the drugs went into my vein at which time it was, bye bye birdie!

I have had many procedure's similar to this. None have I ever felt so "shitty." Actually I have no "shitty" left so that means I have never felt so just plain awful. I don't mean to complain, but I was looking forward to the vein injection due to past good experiences from said same. I was anticipating the best sleep I've had in months.  Notsomuch!

And I want cake and I cant even drive to get any. I wouldn't dare drive. I can hardly turn in my computer chair. Dizzy-Doris!

So they found two polyps and took them from me. They are being sent by courier or runner to some lab for cancer screening.

So here I am. Sitting in the lil apt. unable to walk far, and no cake. Hey, at least my ass has stopped foaming. Poor thang. (That was probably from the full moon ) My bad or not checking on that! Certainly not from the shot of Scotch. Okay so shot and one half.

I a deep breath, and then again. I survived the 2013 fentanyl/fentynal/midozolam conscious sedation procedure. What am I thinking?  (Assholes loud and clear!) I noticed they all had banker suits on vs health care. Anesthesiologists cost too much. Nurses don't. I have been cut! I had been reduced to one of the herd who got branded like a cow. I tried to turn and look in the mirror to see if they had branded me ass, or put a chip in me anywhere. No numbers on my forehead. Guess I'm safe. Yet I know they were watching... You know the ones. ( Congress) Bet they get an anesthesiologist.

So until my next procedure or I find something funny or interesting. Be safe, Be well, Be Happy, and GET RICH so you can rent an anesthesiologist the next time some cute doctor wants to play Sylvestor Stylone up your ass. Just kidding! Laters

Esther's Hopeless Chest...............by Diane Ogden

( I have a friend I visit on occasion I call Esther.  I have changed her name to protect myself! And I have changed her husbands name and her dogs to also protect myself. These people never fail to give me great material.)

Today I visited Esther. It is never a dull or uninteresting time when I visit Esther. The Colonel saw me coming and made his exit out the back way! I do not know why except that Esther and I laugh far too much to suit The Colonel. In fact laughter makes The Colonel uncomfortable. He is a fairly grumpy human man when most of the time Esther is floating around in her rainbow dress and scarves and umbrella finding humor in most all things except him.

We were discussing a Hope Chest I happened to see in her spare room. I told her I remembered having a hope chest some years back. In fact three marriages back to be exact. Esther has had only two marriages to discuss.

 

She said, "What Hope Chest, I don't have a Hope Chest, in fact the only chest I have is the one that's given way to time and does me no earthly good except is too big for its own bra!" I laughed before telling her I meant the Wooden Hope Chest in her spare room. Then Esther laughed and laughed some more. I asked what was so darn funny. She said, "That's no Hope Chest, its my HOPELESS CHEST. Because there's no hope left for The Colonel and I and there never was any hope for the first one.

 

 I thought she was saving things for her Granddaughter in it, but Esther said no way would she pass on any more hopelessness to anyone of her offspring or theirs in any chest named hope when it wasn't true. Then we moved on to her dog Harry who had jumped up on the sofa and was sitting on her face. I said, "OMG Esther, is it clean?" She mumbled she thought so, so far anyway as I snapped a photo. Never a dull moment at The Colonel and Esther's house of hopeless chests.

 

So until I visit Esther again or find something interesting and or funny....  you know, be safe, be well, be happy, and get rich so you can either buy a real hope chest or get your old saggy one fixed!  Laters

FABIO...........................(NOT!) by Diane Ogden

 

I am going to buy this! Why not? Maybe because it has a train humm. Cant you just picture it: An 8 x 10 glossy of me walking around my living area with a train on my robe dragging behind me?
My cats would love it without a doubt, in fact they would destroy it within a week... yes they have nails. And there is no one to look at me in it except me and the animals. I could go get the mail in it I suppose. Or I could take the dog out and let it drag around on the cement and the grass. Heck I could wear that to the store. Dragging it through the isles cleaning the floors...little children would even stare.  Not that I need that or could even imagine it.
Not to mention folks with any sense at all would stare. Some might think I had been to a wedding. Some would think I was going out to a ball. Others would just stare in disbelief and awe. Maybe I would add a hat, nah. What sort of shoes would I add to my robe ensemble? Can you picture me pushing a luggy loud stainless steel cart in this gorgeous thang. All I would need to finish it off would be what's his name?? That guy that does butter commercials now. The one with the long hair on the cover of Romance novels. No I don't read those, Yes maybe I should so I wouldn't have these outlandish purchasing ideas. What is his name? F A B I O! eeewww. Maybe I wont buy it after all. I cant see it happening. Wont go with the car wash or the store or a movie or walking the dog or much of anything really. I could hang it on the wall... I really wanted this, it's so me without the Fabio butter guy. Actually I am into the Ford Man now. Not so sure he would go for this either. Unless I took it off of course. Guess I don't need it no matter how hard I try to have it.
And I really am not a person who requires so much attention. Although some is nice. With or without the robe.  Why would the robe-maker put a train on this robe?  Suppose it belongs in one of those huge Victorian homes in the small town somewhere.  But then so do I.  So until laters, be safe, be happy, be well, and get rich so you can buy a huge Victorian house to go with your new robe. 

Today I Saw a Wienie!..............by Diane Ogden

Today I saw a Weenie!

Today I saw a wiener. A real one! I was driving down Broadway on my way to a clients home when my eyes strayed to the right. I am a person that can drive and still see what is going on around me. That is not to say I can eat, talk on the phone, check my hair and makeup etc. But I do have excellent awareness of what is surrounding me. This little glance to the right turned into a longer look that I expected. There was a short balding man with a hip length blue jacket on that seemed to be doing something odd. He was  pulling up his three quarter coat with both his hands and exposing "something." I did the double take, which didn't really register in my brain until after the fact. Well it did but it didn't. Like did I really just see a man pull up his big winter coat so I personally could view a SMALL pink "thang" peering out of his pants like the very small cold pink thang it was. His slacks were dark so the lil pink thang was very easy to "SPOT." I started to laugh and speak out loud to my cars interior or whoever may be riding with me, in the spirit....I said, "What a stupid human being! Why if it were anything to look at I might have honked. But Lord sakes...a little pink wienie. I merged onto the highway trying to push the phone buttons on my new intricate smart phone. I thought to myself, "Should I call 9-1-1? Or a non emergency number?" Traffic was hectic, dangerous to be trying to find any number, so I dialed 9-1-1....only to get my cell phone carrier at 6-1-1. Oh Jeez, back to driving, dialing... I finally got 9-1-1. She said, "Where is your emergency?" I said, "Well, its not an emergency, but I'm in traffic so calling you was less dangerous than trying to find the non emergency number. I am calling about a stupid human being who just exposed himself to me on Broadway, of which I followed with a description. I was pretty amazed at my memory of this mans description. (not including the pinkie) I called a few friends and we had a hoot about it. Then I stopped at my dog trainers to visit. She has a little black daschound named "Wiener" who jumped up in my lap. I then looked at her and soberly said, "I saw a weenie today." And followed with my little tale (tail)... just kidding. Her eyes got really big and she said, "You mean you saw a real wienie?" I said, "Yup...and continued." When I was finished with my story, she calmly said, "Wow, today you saw and pink one and a black one!" ( her dog wiener and the lil pink man wiener)
I have been practicing the law of attraction using positive words. It started out with Thank God for money and love and kindness.....now its Thank God for keeping wierdo's away from me... Such as any sick human being man...needless to say, with a little weenie.

Be SAFE, be well, be happy, and get rich.  People listen to you better.  Laters

Chasing Ghosts................by Diane Ogden

 

I could have posted several more pictures showing where I have posted " dead people" all around my house, but you get it from these two. I love my dead people. They don't talk back, gossip about me, they never make me feel guilty, they also do not cost me a dime, they don't ask me to babysit, get them any groceries, help them work on their computer, (that's a joke), complain, get sick and need all sorts of help, or even bitch about anything in particular. Our Indian Ancestors among other ancestors told us we should honor our "dead people" because they take care of us. They even believed they took care of the land we live on. I say what if they get/got reincarnated and they are one of our neighbors. Well I am prepared for sure for my reincarnated ancestor neighbor to see I have his or her picture well displayed. I am safe! No family ghosts gonna have anything on me. Little interesting TRUE story:
At the luncheon after my Granddaddy's funeral in the 80's, his wife's niece Sandy, who he disliked a lot, was raising her wine glass as she said something "smart-mouth" of which no one can remember because at that exact moment her wine glass shattered with a brisk clang directly in her hand! Seriously! You could have heard a pin drop. It was my Granddaddy and everybody new it. He just didn't like her at all and he always got the last word. Dead or Alive! He is the top center picture in uniform in the black barn window frame. Sorry about the messy black paint but I couldn't find the razor blades to fix my paint overages....... You can see I have dead people displayed from floor to ceiling. And in my kitchen I have a 4 x 6 yellowish antique pic of my favorite G-ma and G-pa right next to the toaster. Eeewww do ya think that might be in bad taste?... like they are toast, gone. I also have them on a shelf right here next to my "puter desk." Hey they liked me so its a good re-memory! Another one of my own words? Another short TRUE story:
 Once when I was going to marry and shouldn't have, that very picture flew off the wall. It was hanging over my bed. Yup truth! So I watch for that picture to fly off if I have any big decisions going on. Really. Or maybe I just don't have the art prints I want yet. I wouldn't want my dead people to hear that, nor do I want my wine glass to burst, so sssshhhh!
So until I find something interesting or funny, be safe, be well, be happy, and get rich just for fun.

Chairman Bob...............by Diane Ogden

 

Who is this Bob? He calls himself Chairman Bob no less! Narcissistic Bob?  Seriously... He has his picture printed on millions of grocery bags and God only knows how many States Roundy's Stores serve the public in. He looks like a wannabe Frank Sinatra night club singer doesn't he? Maybe he needs a curl hanging down or bangs. All I know is I bring Bob home with me every week from the store. He offers me nothing. No reminder of anything. No advertising of any food or drink or product of any kind or even circus tickets printed on he's bags. Nope just Bob on the bag! At my house Bob hangs out between the refrigerator and the wall until I need he's bag and then I throw recycles at him. In another Bob bag I throw garbage at him. Sometimes he goes to Goodwill full of goodies. Bob, Bob....what do you want? So the bag says you, Chairman Bob APPROVED. Of what Bob? Yourself? I think so....... I did notice is says in very small print below the very large print where they could advertise, that Bob approves of Roundy's products. Very small print. CHAIRMAN BOB is in large print in red! We know who Bob approves of don't we?  BOB! Also the arrows at the top of the bag say, "Hold with both handles." That's so you don't drop BOB and mess him up. (I'd like to mess up that hair. Reminds me of Blogdonavich and look where he ended up)  Be nice.  I am.  I am just blown away by the Roundy's Chairman Bob's love of himself.  Would be interested to know the whole story on Bob.  Do notice the thumb's up he is giving you about him. 
So until I find someone else to pic on or notice similar arrogance.  (Be nice,) be safe, be happy, and get rich so you can have your face printed on bags with a thumbs up for whatever you chose cause you are the Chair-MAN! p.s. Every item in Roundy's stores are $1.00 more per item then most anywhere else.  I say he is Bob the Robber.  He cant sue me can he?  LOL chitola that be bad. Do we still have freedom of speech or has congress stopped that too?

Little Running Hiney & Bob.............by Diane Ogden

Sooo....  Bob got scared.  You know Bob the transient feline boarder that I pay for.  I know it is supposed to be the other way around.  If a person has a boarder/renter they pay you.  Nope not Bob.  He was presented to me by my daughter who said, "But Mom he is sick and needs help." She found him at the funny farm where I was raised.  I also found one there four years ago and that one has OCD of the major sort. Hell I lived there and I have OCD and PTSD and so on.  She runs her eyes around every object she looks at and prowls the house like a lion in self defense mode.

I told myself that time I would never take in another abandoned child, man, or animal again.  They are trouble.  From now on it would be only pure bred men, animals, and no children.  What happens? My daughter moves in with her small child, she brings an abandoned animal.... and for the record I turn my head from every man I see within a mile.  What's my point?  Bob got scared.  My daughter decided to vacuum her room.  I told her to put him in the bathroom but she didn't. The vacuum scared him so badly. And she let him out of the bedroom and put my two in my bedroom thinking Bob needed some space.  NOT!  I said, "No No!  He wont be happy in the bedroom anymore and he needs to get well.  Plus he will smell the other cats which he did.  He went directly to their litter box and stayed there.  My daughter decided I might be right. Imagine that.  She put him back in the bedroom and ever since then he has been either spraying or peeing.  I live on piss island.  It is a total nightmare.  The odor is so strong even I am blown away.  So the carpet man is coming tomorrow with enzyme spray.  Then back on Monday to shampoo.  I  wonder what that will cost?
I left for work happy to leave until and dropped my Samsung Galaxy II right out of my hand onto ass'fault!!   It was the ass phaults fault my screen shattered.  I tell you I was so not happy...  Got into the clients home and rec'd an email (phone still works) that said my bank statement was ready.  That made my almost senile brain say to itself. "When is that credit card bill due again?"  It is a new card so I had almost forgotten to pay.  I called the bank....they wouldn't pay it for me by phone but gave me a # to call to pay it.  I called it and that kid didn't even ask for any security info.  But it was due TODAY as my mind suggested it might be and I paid it.  Then the Vet called and it was time to take Bob back in for his second dose of ear mite chemicals.  And guess what?  One more test to see if he had a certain parasite we could get.  Oh just great, worms.  Don't I just need worms.  NOT!  Not to mention the four books I purchased for my son (the one in prison) never arrived.  They only take books from the publisher at a great cost vs booksellers at Amazon. 

Okay so I finish my work day, run home, pic up Bob, text my Granddaughter who works at US Cellular and tell her the phone works.  Maybe I don't want to pay the $100 charge for a new one. That is above the cost of my monthly insurance in case I drop the dang thing on ASS FAULT!!  Now I know why they named it that.  Anyway, she says to get a screen cover and phone cover.  So I go to the corporate store next to the Vet. Leave Bob in the car.  Ask about a protector screen after showing that nice young man the cellophane wrap I improvised with.  He said they had ONE left.  It was $20.00.  I said, fine, Bob has cost me $400 and we aren't done with the carpet yet.  He said, "What?"  I said, "Bob, the cat in the car, don't ask!"  He didn't.  So while he was attempting to put the sticky screen on my partially shattered phone glass front, I asked him if he knew my Granddaughter who works at U S Cellular.  He said, "What's her name?"  I said, "Little Running Hiney, after her honorary Indian Chief Great Grandfather and her Norwegian Great Grandmother Mathilda Hiney..  Little Running Hiney. But she goes by Briana Rowe."   The kid was laughing so hard he had to take the phone to another station to finish it.  Actually I found it comical myself. 
I am back home with my gas mask on.  Candles burning.  Vinegar spray bottle ready for full pursuit of urine island.  Charles (God) help me please.  I don't need the rains to come until I get this under control.  Humidity doubles feline urine odor.  And Charles (God) dont let anyone come to where I live until I have this fixed.  Amen.  Peace be to Bob, Peace be to LuLu, Peace by to Gracie and Peace be to ME!!!  I think that is what my Lutheran Pastor used to say or close to it. Oh yea, he was ad in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  Amen.  I forgot to tell you.  While I was parked outside the Vet Clinic waiting to go in, a man came walking out carrying a huge dog crate. He walked between his SUV and my simple BUICK and hit the passenger side of my Bad Buick with his huge dog crate.  I turn and looked, then caught him in the side mirror.  He quickly turned to probably say he was sorry.....but stopped dead and starred into my back seat where I have all the products I use for work. ( Must have appeared as though I was living in it, well not that bad!)  And he then turned away like it was okay to hit the old girl and not say sorry.  Like she was not worthy cause of her age.  Ass a mundo man.  I know I have the oldest car in the underground but I also have the only one paid for I betcha. 

So, until the next Vet visit, or I find something interesting or funny, be well, be happy, be safe, and get rich for about a thousand reasons.  One being new carpet? 

The Old Outhouse.................by Diane Ogden

 

OK so this little outhouse has been there for fifty years plus... I used it!! In fact when I was in high school this is all we had besides a five gallon bucket for mid night emergencies. It was truly awful. We had no running water for baths either.
Over the years, that is after we got normal bathrooms with bathtubs and flushing toilets! Can you imagine ?? Me either anymore, yet the memories remember!
Everyone who ever used the outdoor privy signed in by writing on the inner walls of that outhouse of which I was afraid to open the door to take a pic of in case....... the darn thing might have taken a dive on me literally.
I don't like shit pits as you all know from previous blogs. And holding any of them up with poles is funny to me. But what would I do if I really needed to use that privy outhouse? Would I chance the poles giving way? What if no one was home? Oh shit!
I love puns or whatever you call that one.

We Don't Know So Much About Life....Do We? .....by Diane Ogden

The Human Race, on the whole, from my view, the past several decades, has shown "it" really doesn't believe we are all connected at all! I do.... I really do.

The Love of My Life...Really Wasn't...............by Diane Ogden

 

All those self help books are in the trash! Either my mind has metal plates surrounding it or I was birthed a stupido! I carried a deep beyond words love for one man from the age of 27 until last month. I carried that love through two other marriages. Not that I didn't love my "hubbs" plural! I have heard we all have the "first love" or "soul mate" love in our lives. Personally I have come to learn we can love more than one person but in different ways. I could go into a long love story here that lasted "three years to life" (some call that a sentence)......ad to it all the ups and believe me the downs....add the children hurt.....the flights back and forth from Oklahoma to Wisconsin every week.....the heart pounding races to the airport with what seemed like movie star red carpet meetings at the entrance gates bounding into the warm passionate arms of one another then building further to gentle yet firm kisses for all to view. Never knowing anyone else was in the building. Carrying luggage, sharing meals, drinks, loving tenderly....dancing closely, laughing uncontrollably, and best of all looking into one an others eye's seeing the reflection of only one of two. We shared a Deep love indeed. I have heard that money is the root of all evil. Pain could be included in that circle of adjectives regarding pain. Grief too. The world says true and honest Love is all good and pure. So there you have my story, all "tied up," there I go with those wonderful puns again...I love my puns! Basically my story is tied up in two sentences or even two words. Love or Money. He chose the money and I was left with the grief and pain. I thought I should die. Long story again.... humm maybe some day I shall have more time for believe me this would be a great book. The tall dark and oh so handsome cowboy, and I shall add, rich cowboy too. He purchased for me a brand new 19 (never mind it would show my age totally) something burgundy and white Grand Prix. Asked me to marry him...... I hear it was something about his "Daddy" that stopped the gentle deep love, the travel, the red carpet meetings, the marriage, the everything, in our tracks. In a motel outisde a dusty small town in western Oklahoma, where he was instructed and sent to give me the family decision, we sat on the edge of the bed and sobbed together like two children. Daddy chose new tracks for my fiance, and I felt like a homeless bum left in a box car on those lonely tracks, alone to die. A lost Love can make a person feel like that. Yet as the years past he was always that little box of a dream I could go to when I needed. He was a photo in the second drawer of my jewel box and a chapter in my life book page 266. He was not my God but he was one of my earthly treasures I always hoped to meet again whether at age 80 on earth or in love in the heavens hereafter. Over the years we spoke by phone a few times, even met once. Oddly the man I did marry lived in a small town in Texas where my love built and opened a business one mile away from our home. Oddly?? I would say. He had moved from his lifelong home in Oklahoma to this city in Texas. One mile from me. I moved from Wisconsin to one mile from him. And by then he had more children and so had we. The next time we spoke he had 14 Grandchildren and I had 6..... I knew then heaven was about the only place we might ever be together at again. Yes I am laughing. On occasion during a boring evening at home I would Google his name. Yes I did! And finally one night I found pictures of he and his family...all six children, the Grands, his still living Mother.....and Jackpot, I found one of his daughters on a Face Book site. He is bald and I barely recognized him. Looking at his photo I could still feel the warmth and safety of his arms and the softness of his lips on mine. Whoa, hold it..STOP SIGN! They love GEORGE BUSH! My heart dropped at my computer desk...my dreams smashed, my hopes lost, my years of deep wanting and memories crushed like a mile wide tornado came onto my screen and into the furrows of my mind and left me empty. Crap, now that's twice I am left empty by this fellow. My fault...I could have kept my delusional dreams and fake security forever if I hadn't hit that keyboard or joined face book. Now I don't even have a fake memory of a deep love and all that shit! Why I wouldn't even want to be with him in heaven because he might be standing next to George Bush! He donates allot of $ to George Bush! See the money won out again in the end.... the money even took my fragile dreams. I say I deserve it all back a hundred fold but with real love this time! So the moral of this love story is that it really wasn't. Be careful what you pray for because they say you might just get it! Bye R.C. it was a "hell" of a ride. God I love my puns. (By the way, his wife is Really Really LARGE!) Too bad so sad....

Friends?......................by Diane Ogden

.I had a best friend in grade school that I have kept track of over the years.  We reconnected in the 70's in Houston for a brief time, both in the midst of life's trials. I still check her on Google.  She is an accomplished jeweler in Sante Fe who has an interesting book on Blurb called, "All Things Have A Voice."

 

I had another best friend I met in the 70's who always inspired me how to keep going.  We traveled life through two husbands each.  That was special......not!  She gave me everything from bra's to cars. Bought my children shoes, gave them birthday parties, stood up for me in bad times when no one else was there.  She and her third husband moved to Florida but we remain in contact to a much lessor degree considering that story was twenty years ago. I hope I gave something back to her.

 

Another friend I met in Oklahoma in the late 70's during a tumultuous court custody trial and pregnancy.  She helped me through the last thirty five years of my life and still does to this day.

She recently lost her husband of fifty some years.  Yet she continues to help and uplift others including me.  You can find her at http://dearonelovegod.blogspot.com

I hope I give something back to her.

 

Then there was the religious friend.  Yes religious, not spiritual.  She was kind and sweet and could see things in the spirit better than most psychics yet thought they were of the devil.  Interesting how some people's teachings are so limited.  And yes her husband believed he ruled like the kings in the Old Testament.  Eeww.  They also taught me, who must have needed to latch onto a group to feel worthy, or fit in maybe or??. The ?? meaning not having the wits of self to make decisions.  So I listened and drank it all in and when I sold my home of many years I paid off all debt because dontchaknow religious people say "you" and I should not owe any money to anyone.They told me GOD SAID. I also closed credit accounts and started a new business in a new town.  Oops.  It died along with all my credit and cash reserve.  Thus there went it all.  I started over by delivering newspapers until I could strengthen up and start another business.  It took me almost ten years to regain my credit, save a few dollars and talk to Charles (God) vs any religious friends who have since gone by the wayside.  Not that I don't respect their lives as each of us in on our own journey.  I should have stayed on mine and not latched onto theirs.  MyBad! I do hope I gave something good back to those that truly tried to offer me the only thing they knew.

 

There was that high school bestie that never forgave me for one single act of unkindness I bestowed on her one day out of our lifetimes.  My boyfriend told me I couldn't hang around with her for some reason...I know now it was jealousy/control, but then I must have latched on once again to someone vs using my own wits. 

 

I have a sisterinlaw at present. I always wanted her to be the sister I never had.  She never stepped into that position.  I tried for years to be her friend.  I would call them often, but she would only call a couple times a year and then bait me for family information. I finally caught onto that one.  I don't care to even have the twice a year verbiage anymore.  She has always said I brought her to the Lord.  So I guess that is all good whether we talk anymore or not.

 

Then there is my x sister law. She remains a friend today.  From the 70's to present.  We have watched each other grow older. Although she got a facelift.  And she got a decent husband also.  Guess that means I am two behind in all areas.  (Oops three behind in one area.) Oh and she built herself a new home.  I am in an apartment. (I don't have upkeep ha)  She is sort of religious and sort of spiritual ( there must be a name for that) so we can converse unless she has a few beers thus the religion demon steps up to the plate and talks for hours about the old testament! I still love her in spite of. We stay on fairly equal ground in terms of giving. And I hope she doesn't read this.

 

There have been a few stand in friends over the years.  But no real keepers.  Most have families or too many problems just busy or .....I don't know.  I don't knit, or quilt, or play cards much.  I don't  have time for book clubs much less to sit and read one.  I mostly get audio or playaways.  

I have not had a vacation since 1987.  I did take one week off once.  And was sick for eleven days once.  Other than that I have worked, raised five children, three of them totally on my own.  Who cares?  Really no one.  Just typing away this morning for some reason. Maybe its the new Pope. I am not catholic but I found it refreshing.  Maybe its Bob.  Bob Ogden, the cat that is blessed from previous blogpost.  Maybe I am just a little tired.

 

Reminiscing isn't always a good thing.  And sometimes it is.  Actually I believe its the fact so very many people close to me are taking spring break vacations. Clients, friends, family.

 

I have four sons.  One of them told me he always makes sure he has enough money for work and play.  That was my mistake if I am wondering at all the whys of life.  (Seems I am today) And hopefully after I stop and Wal Mart and the grocery store later today I will be back with some funnies. Thank God for my funny side!  I promise it will be back, in fact its just hiding under a couple grey clouds this morning.  It will break through. It always does because it is my best friend and has been and always will be.  I take care of it and it takes care of me.  Just like my Buick. 

 

So be well, be happy, be safe, and get rich so you can take vacations or at least time off to finish the novels.....   or both.  

 

Bob lives on.................by Diane Ogden

BOB!  Bob Ogden woke up with an abscess below his eye from the "funny farm fight."  You know that place, farm, I was raised on where someone dropped this sweet precious feline off to fend for himself.  I suspect they knew he needed some medical attention and said, "No way Hose." I should probably call Bob Hose and see if he responds.  Back to my point. I dropped Bob of at Banfield Clinic for the third time, where Dr. so and so (She gave me some financial slack so I don't want to say her name publicly) took excellent care of him all day. She told me all the staff is pulling for Bob.  He is the only cat in the history of her years as a Veterinarian who didn't need to be sedated to have a needle aspiration below the eye.  Everyone loves Bob!  BUT..... I asked Dr. so and so if Bob could die?  She shrugged and said..."If we could do all we need to do to find out it would cost $900.00.  That being said, we will take it day to day with Bob and hope for the best."  And so I agree.
She also added a very strong antibiotic called doxicillian, $100 for the liquid, $46.00 at Target, and $10 at Banfield,  to the clavamox plus eye ointment.  Oh and she mentioned the big dogs. You know the eye specialist I could take him to but they cost huge astronomical gargantuous bucks. 
America needs to get a grip!!  But I don't see that happening until America hits bottom.  I only hope I am dead and gone before Korea bombs my and Bob's ass.  (sorry but it just fits right in there ya know?) Ass I mean. 

Okay so I am sitting in the waiting room waiting for Bob.  There is wooden bench to sit and wait on.  They bring Bob out and set him next to me.  I feel so dang bad for Bob!  He looks like chit.  His eye is still swollen even after the extraction of much puss and blood, they told me.  He has rec'd fluids, and an enema type medicine considering his belly was full of poo.  And they also sent home worm meds.  Jeez !! 
Poor Bob!!  I felt so bad for him I scooted backwards on the wooden bench to be able to bend down and speak soft words of comfort to him when I ungracefully fell backwards off the stupid bench. (Ha likes its the benches fault duh) I hit the hard metal edge of the dog scale with my elbow and my ars ass hit the edge of it and slid onto the floor and oh yes I had an audience!  Like several people waiting to pic up their animals plus the staff at the desk and the ones wandering about.  One said, "Are you okay?"   I said, "I think so, physically but not sure humiliatingly."  They laughed, and I could have cried a dang river from what my week with Bob and what the Care Credit Card might do to me.(CARE Creidt ya right Care)  If I don't pay it off in 6 months the interest is to the moon Alice.  30%!!!  Is that out of the ball park robbery and I have good credit.  So.....I am getting my cardboard sign ready ....to head out for the Macy's intersection to see if folks wont donate to my loving cause.  BOB! You know like the guy that stands by the WalMart intersection making everyone so darn nervous cause you want to give him a $20 but your not sure if he is for real.. And then the guy that brings his dog and makes the dog sit there in the snow all day while he stands with his cardboard sign and Styrofoam cup!! Maybe I should write to Ellen!  I don't need $25,000, I need $500!  That should be doable huh?    And one last and most important thing.  I prayed big for Bob.  I told Charles, (God who I call Charles) "Ya know Charles, I believe....so if I believe and I use your name cause I have no power without your sons name  Jesus.....well then Bob will be fine."  So be it!!  Bob will be fine. No more need for credit  or to write Ellen, or for my blood pressure to hit the moon over a dumped off cat.  No, I just the need to pay it off and enjoy Bob for the rest of his life or find him a wonderful home.  Either way hooray for Charles!  And or all the gracious givers at the intersection of Macy's and Midvale Boulevard that Charles sent!  Reminds me of the woman that prayed to win the lottery and she got overtime instead!! 
So until my next adventure  ........... be safe, be well, be happy, and get rich so you can fix a blessed stray cat that comes to you for help without your B.P. going to the moon. And some corporate credit card charging you 30% interest even tho you have good credit.   Laters

My Grannie is a Hiney!.................by Diane Ogden

“Just making it easier for you to get a little Hiney.” (Wine of course) I don't think Grannie ever said that to me. Nor did I ever say that to anyone else.  In the blog post about Myrtle Manor, the Red Neck reality trailer park show, there are two girls that sell wieners on the beach..... I am a real hiney ha!

When I first saw the advertisement for Myrtle Beach I thought it would be funny and I could be on that funny show. Then I watched it and realized it wasn't funny, it was eww eww.  Then I heard the Hiney wine bits online and saw the girls selling weiners on the beach (from Myrtle Manor)to make a living and then remembered I have Hiney.  Hiney from my Great Grandma and Grandma.  I have real Hiney, I don't need to sell wieners on any beach.

 Great Grandmother Hiney was a dear lady.  And a rich lady.  Farmers in Wisconsin they were.  Joseph Hiney was my Great Grandad.  He is probably rolling over in his heavenly grave due to my verbiage here.  But I cant pass up a good joke.
 
"I only buy hiney in a wooden cask. That way I can tell my husband to grab his hammer and meet me in the cellar when I’m ready to tap that hiney."  (Wine of course) 

Hiney Wine is the brainchild of Terry Dorsey, who developed the bit while on the air in the Mid-1970's at WONE-AM in Dayton. Terry come in every day with a spiral bound notebook in which he had the original "Hiney Wine" spots written out in longhand. When he moved to WING, Hiney Wine (and the notebooks) went with him.  
I wonder if I am related to the Hiney Winery people.   That would be cool huh?  

This is just a lil tidbit of where I came from and what I became...  I am much more than just a Hiney!

So until I discover something funny or new or interesting, be safe, be well, be happy, and get rich so you can do your genealogy to see if your related to any Hiney's, or Wieners of the world.  And:

 

 

"Grab a Hiney"  (wine that is)

Burned Dinner................by Diane Ogden

 Yup this was to be my dinner yesterday.  I wasn't very hungry so I opted for a half a grilled cheese sandwich.  I bought this cute little cast iron pan for such dinners.  It is also good for one egg, one salmon Patty, or one burger.  So this was it's turn to make mama happy and make one half.  I turned the burner onto about 6 or 7, put the buttered bread and cheese on the baby cast iron pan and walked away.....
to put Bob in the carrier to go to the vet.  I should know by now I  cannot walk away from anything or I forget what I am doing.  And yes I am going to blame stress.  Yes Yes Yes. 
I put my coat on, grabbed my keys and Bob in his carrier, opened the door and left for the Veterinarian, with the burner on med high!!

Bob and I left around 4 and got back 45 minutes to an hour later.  When I carried Bob up the steps from the underground parking I smelled a burn smell.  FIRE smell ya know? Hello.  I wasn't too worried because it just never happens here.  I did think, what wiener was burning his dinner? Although my dang smoke alarm goes off when there isn't even a slither of grey smoke in site.  That said, I opened the apartment door and light grey smoke is all about the place. I mean all about the place!! My brain went into OMG there is a fire in here how will I get all my little critters out.  That would be my cat Lucy, my lil dog Gracie...My daughters cat LuLu, and the new BOB who I just sat down in the bedroom as my brain thought all these things in a nanosecond.  Sort of like now I know how life flashing before your eyes happens. When you die you are so friggin scared your dead brain and heart are still following  you like the chicken with his head cut off running around the funny farm...  Seriously!  I ran to each room looking for the fire.  No fire.  I hit the kitchen running and there it was.  What you see in the photos and no flames or big smoke rather light grey all over the place.  I tell you the truth.  This was a flippen miracle.  It has to be because Bob is blessed.  I was gone so long and that burner was not even on medium, but medium high. 

I swear my deceased Dad was blowing on that burner to slow her down.  Someone was!!!  No way to relay this in words. No way. I shall thank Dad or whoever before bedtime...  Not on my knees of course.  Charles (God) knows I cant get back up so good (well) once I am down.  Bless these burned out hips.

Really I think we escaped a fire or at least smoke damage.  I don't think Dad or Charles knows that wouldn't have been so bad if the pets didn't die anyway....  I could have collected enough insurance money to blow this pop stand and start over in Sante Fe where the spirits would love to see me comin!  I can hear them and they need to be heard. 

Sooo, be well, be safe, be happy, and get rich so you don't need fires or smoke damage $ to getcha where you wanna go!

Laters.....

Bob!...............by Diane Ogden

 My daughter called me last Sunday while visiting her Grandmummie at the funny farm where I was raised.  She was all excited and drama-ed out over a female cat someone dropped off out there about two months ago.  "Why cant people just be nice!"  This is obviously a house cat and this is Wisconsin in March not to mention this months two plus snowstorms.  The little girl had a gauge under his eye (she got real lucky on that one) and mites in her ears and a bad UTI. (Urinary Tract Infection)  How do I know this?  Well let me tell you how. 

I strongly suggested and recommended she, my daughter to leave the cat there at the funny farm and we will get some antibiotics from the Vet and Grandmummie dearest can put it in her food.  No more was discussed except that she came home with the cat in a carrier.  Might I also mention her other cat I have been babysitting for the past year and three months went totally ballistic.  Tried to attack my daughter and anyone or any thing near her.  She was pissed and carrying a load of anxiety ready to kill!  She was literally growling.  So new cat went behind daughters closed bedroom door.  I was rather angry to say the least. 

I started calling all around to see who might take her in.  P.S. I thought it was a her because daughter said she was about to have a litter and something long and pink and bloody was starting to come out.  SERIOUSLY!  That is a penis not a female cat birthing..... for God (or Charles) sakes.  And this cat has a bladder infection or is blocked up.  My brain is going Cha Chink Cha Chink Oh shitski! This should not be my problem.  But it was.  The emergency animal clinic quoted me $1,500 - $2,000 for surgery if a urinary blockage.  So I told the cat it couldn't die overnight.  Not on my watch please.   (Bob is not feeling so good in photo)

I called my vet early in the morning, stuck the cat into the carrier and off I went I think in hopes of free help for him all the while knowing that was not going to happen.  WHY ME?  Then I thought, oh stop it, it isn't cancer or shit like that.  So I shut up and drove onto the vets.  Wait, I thought of something else while driving there.  He has no name.  He has a penis.  Names came to me like Steve, (Steven Tyler) Fred, Sam, (Sam Champion GMA), and so on.  Then out of the universe sailed the word BOB!  My good friends Jim and Jackie Sullivan of Marco Island, Florida named their cat Bob Sullivan. So I said,  "Bob, Bob Ogden it is."  And then I started to laugh.  Its so perfect it funny. 

We arrive at the Veterinarian and they asked me if the cat had a name.  I perked right up proudly and said, "Yup, it's Bob, Bob Ogden."  And two of them started to laugh.  I don't know why but Bob makes people laugh.  They took him away and I went off to work trying not to think about the estimate I was just handed.

 During the day I rec'd two or three phone calls from the Vet Office about Bob.  The good news, no crystals, no surgery, no blockage but a roaring UTI infection and an injured area around the eye.  Each phone call I was told how much they love Bob. Everyone that meets Bob loves Bob.   I asked them to check Bob's ears and they forgot so today Bob and I trekked back to find out he also has mites.  AND so far the total is $350.00. Would you believe, yes you would. The TINY squeezie of eye ointment was $50 and the small amount of powder to be mixed with free water was $50.

Oh, and BOB HAS BALLS.  Yup.  Balls that have to come off.  And his poo needs to be checked for bugs.  ($28.00 hell of a deal because she loves Bob)  Not for the ball removal, no no, for the poo check.  And no charge today for the office call for mites cause they love Bob and because they forgot to do it the other day. 

Bob lets me give him his meds and never fusses. Bob lets me put ointment in his eye and never fusses.  Bob gets right in his carrier and never fusses.  That's my Bob!  When we walked into the clinic his Vet walked right over, squatted down, and said, "There's my cutsie petutsie!  I think Bob is blessed. 

Maybe Bob and I will go on the road.  Doing what?  I don't know, Bob makes people laugh and so do I....   We'll just set up on a corner and put a cup out there like the blind guy.  I 'll put an outfit on Bob.  Maybe I will sing a few tunes, tell a few stories.  Ya like really?  Not!  Hey Bob is blessed.  It'd work.

So I did a good deed...  Wonder what "cat KARMA" gives back.  I bet its good, cause hey, this is Bob we're talking about. 

Hey Be Safe, Be Well, Be Happy, and Be Blessed like me!  And for Charles sakes, get rich so you can also pay for heartworm check, vaccines, dental work and a range of other things Bob might need but can live without until.........  we put that cup out there.  LOL  Laters

The Little Mermaid.............by Diane Ogden

There is a photo of this mermaid or one similar to this photo at one of my clients homes. This mermaid photo was taken at DisneyWorld with two LITTLE CHILDREN sitting next to Mermaid and her bra.  Everytime I am at this clients home and I view this 4 x 6 photo of the mermaid lady in the bra with the children I just get a bit "this is wrong" in my head.  I have tried to understand to no avail.  I have googled the mermaid all of which comes up.... is the bra and the fin outfit.   Even wedding dresses named after the  mermaid design amounts to a full length fin with a built in bra, all the way up.  Not a low cut belly rubbing navel knocking purple shells covering boobs outfit. How is this cool for little boys and or girls to sit next to? It ain't normal.  How about lets do  a merMAN with a jockstrap or loin cloth sitting next to a little girl at Disney World so she can take home a 4 x 6 photo and look at it and recall it forever.  Sicko!  I am right! Imagine two children ages 4 and 5 sitting next to boobie fin lady.  Or better yet 9 -10 year olds.   yikes.  I suspect I am too old to appreciate near nudeness next to small children.  Seems anything goes these days. But not for me....just looking at the photo I posted of the girl that works or worked at Disney World and had her picture taken with thousands plus of children...  with her lil purple bra and skin abundant.  It just isn't right.  

Okay so that wasn't so positive huh?  Sorry but it was on my list to share.    And just for the record:  I watched Myrtle Manor (two posts back) and OMG it is not hardly one step up from Honey Boo Boo.  It was awful.  Not funny like I thought.  And I posted a pic of myself wanting to be on that show!  So So embarrassed.  My trailer court is like way above that nasty show.  I don't have a trailer court but if I did it would be a class act....what I watched was not even funny.  I didn't expect class but I did expect funny.  I didn't get funny, I got redneck roaches and dumb blonde's selling wieners on the beach.  OMG.   I could sell better wieners on the beach.  Just kidding!!

So until I find more funnies.... you all be safe and be happy, and well, and get rich so you can go to Disney World and have your picture made with a mermaid wearing a purple BRA!!  They need to fix that  I say>    Nite  

Ghost in Billy's life...........................by Diane Ogden

 

Billy is a fifty year old man from Vietnam.  Billy does my nails every few weeks.  Today Billy told me one of his life secrets.  He saw a Ghost when he was a 16 year old boy and he did see a Ghost.  He described her to me:   He was walking along and something made him look over by a certain tree....  there is where he saw the woman, a tall woman dressed in a long white gown with long white hair but no face.  She looked at him in her spirit and then ascended very quickly straight up to the top of the tree!  He was so scared he ran to the first house where he knew someone...The man looked at him and said, "You saw her, didn't you?  The Ghost? The Lady in White in the tree?  And I want you to listen to me and not go back there for at least one month."

Billy told me his face was near green the man said.....from fear.   Then he told Billy why he shouldn't go back near that site for at least a month...  His body has sustained such a traumatic exposure to that spirit of death he should stay away until he could  regain his own true spirit back.

 He told Billy she was an "scout" or over looker for the men in the dugouts/trenchesbunkers.  She would stay high up in the tree and signal them when the enemy was coming.......but one time the enemy dropped a bomb on all of them from a B-52 Bomber!  (I think that means us from the u.s.a)  He told me the bodies of 35 men died in that  bunker along with their lady scout. 

Obviously that was the Vietnam War;  He stated to me it was 1968. 

When he was telling me his story and the part about the lady in white came up ,  he raised his shirt to show me the "Goose (God) Bumps on his arm!

He also told me his Grandmother told him never to look into the trees when he was walking past...

He shared some facts with me about how many men died on his families land.....something like 350 men. 

He said many "sad of war" comments to me that I wont forget in my lifetime.  And believe me I cannot recall them all....

So until next time:  GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!!   (Bless all the spirits left behind that they may find their way home)  Some do / Some dont!

















Photo from: http://vulpesbisonbisonbisonvulpes.wordpress.com/2010/06/18/dao-is-definitely-a-16-year-old-boy/

Thundercoat....................by Diane Ogden

Spring is near, Thunderstorms are just around the next clouds corner which means dogs and cats everywhere will be scared.  It's like the 4th of July every storm to these poor babies....  That being said, someone somewhere invented a straight jacket with no arms for dogs and cats.  So what about me?  I am afraid of thunderstorms.  Well sort of anyway.  So is there a jacket for me that is soothing swaddling and can reduce my anxiety and my nervous panting (fast breathing when the sirens go off) that can cause or contribute to the deadly bloat?

Now I know why I look ten pounds heavier after a thunderstorm....  I am bloated from breathing wrong... WHO KNEW?  I think I am going to get me one of those thundercoats and wrap my self in it as tight as I can.  That must be what keeps the dog and or me from breathing wrong....breathing hardly at all.  Then no bloat, and no anxiety because the dog and or me is trying so hard to stay alive by barely breathing meaning who has time for anxiety. 

Dang those sirens from hell.  They are worse then the FIRE - FIRE - FIRE  HONK HONK HONK BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP fire drills.  Both can save lives, but omg they make my brain feel like scrambled eggs and what is scary is that you cant un-scramble eggs.  So I better get a straightjacket and cut the arms out or a big dog thundercoat and give her a go.  I used to live in the South where tornado's were very prevalent and I was told I was born during a terrible storm.  Maybe that's what is wrong with me. 

Actually I am lying.  A little bit anyway. I respect storms but I get terrified when the sirens go off.
I could buy one of those ah ha bras two sizes too small.  Cheaper than a thundercoat.  Or I could buy a girdle and cut the crotch and legs out and pull it up to my armpits but that would leave my back open and that's a no go as I would still feel vulnerable.... Forget it!  I am not that scared and have survived several decades of storms, tornado's, floods, lightning, children, three husbands, and one really nasty guy.  I can do it.  But if you have a dog that is frightened by all means purchase a thundershirt.  P.S.  I am terrified of water  and that is the truth.  If I even see a photo of a high bridge over water my bladder that has its own brain leaves me in an embarrassing situation.  I avoid all photos of such things.   I have a dream to visit a few places but I guess I need a bladdercoat and a thundercoat to get through it all.  Or how about I just take a dang XANAX!  Of course I knew that.
I was just kidding.   Wonder where the word "kidding" came from in reference to a joke.  I would rather think the word kidding mean a goat birthing a kid.  (I am sure you are aware that a baby goat is called a kid, well you are now) And what is funny about that?  Nothing! 

Obviously I need to be more aware of my surroundings because there must be something funny or more interesting nearby.   

"Me"

"Me"

 

 

So this is "Me."  Not me, but "Me".....

I guess when children are in Kindergarden or is that kindergarten and or first grade they lay down on the floor and someone draws their outline/silhouette??  Beats me how they do it. All I know is that I was bestowed the "Me" several years ago which I hung on the back of my bedroom door where it has remained for five or six years.  That along with a vitamin chart that is probably all wrong after all these years and which I don't ever look at anyway. 

And for your information I sleep with a fan on and if I am not careful "Me's" leg starts flapping in the wind making a heck of a racket. That being said, I have to get back up from my sweet bed and blankets and secure "Me" and or move the fan.  I should know by now when that will happen and when not but I do forget "Me" is there much of the time.  And just so you know, "Me" is a wonderful, intelligent, beautiful, talented, and sweet Granddaughter who is now twelve years old. Having "Me" (her)in my bedroom makes me feel good.   Below is "Me." "Me" several years later than the door silhouette me.....  So until I find something funny or interesting or just cute like "Me,"  Be Happy, Be Safe, Be Well, and get rich just for fun....or a vacation or a new "You."