I 'm "HOT!" ..................by Diane Ogden

You know, there is hot, and then there is hot!  And I had a hot one.  That would be a job at a clients home where there was no clean fresh air from anywhere.  There was a fan blowing hot air around.  And on the counter was something else that was hot besides me.  When I saw what I saw, I knew I had to take a photo of what I saw.....  a stick of butter MELTING from the ridiculous heat inside that house.

 No one's fault of course.  I didn't have to go there.  I chose to go and suffer like the butter.  (I did not know it would be that hot in that house and I bet the butter didn't either!)  I put it in the fridge for a half hour to give it some relief because it was "separating" from itself.  I understood totally considering it has been over 100 degrees around here lately. We have all been separating from ourselves (our senses) from the heat. 

Laters.........  Be safe, be well, be happy, and get rich so you never experience what I did today! Hey it will be cold her in about three weeks so no biggie.

photo from: http://artcontrarian.blogspot.com/2011/06/dundblom
Good Housekeeping - Mr 1933

My Gift to You Today!.............by Diane Ogden

 Laters.....



Photo from www.sapphires.moonbeams.com 

French Country or NOT!.............by Diane Ogden

I love French Country magazines, furniture, lighting fixtures, red and yellow gingham materials, flowered curtains and most decorating ideas.  But today I ran across "over the top."  And I am talking way over the top.  I actually giggled. I wouldn't want to say that I laughed out loud in case the photo has a technical trail back to its owner who has an amazing over the top decorating blog.  Would not want to hurt anyone's feelings.  But hey.....look at this, seriously look at this.  p.s. that is a dining room table, not a bed in the dining room with dead people dressed up, sitting in chairs watching you sleep.

I do not mean to make fun of anyone in life.  It is just that I do not like this. 

I am not going to say anything that might be taken as negative.  I guess this just isn't my style and to put the French Country label to it, humm. Or maybe I am CURED from it.  May go back to contemporary after this viewing.  Sorry Penny, no offense meant.

 

My type of French Country with Class: Everyone's different and that's okay.

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

Air Bag Truth................by Diane Ogden

It was storming hard this morning while driving to work.  The trees were bending and branches falling in front of me.  I wondered why I don't carry diapers on days like this.  Seriously it was frightening.  Not to mention getting stuck at every red light twice. 

I noticed my air bag light came on only to say OFF.  I recalled the definition in the manual said it meant there was not enough weight in the seat for the item to be safe.  But the item was heavy enough to tell the vehicle computer it was not a good thing.  Child too small!  Air bag kill. 

My purse never makes the air bag light come on.  But today was different.  Today I packed a whopping lunch because it was going to be a long one. Day that is.  My lunch is in the green Whole Fools Bag.  I mean Whole Foods Bag.  Any fool would know that.  I packed so much food my trucks air bag thought it was a small kid!  That's it.  I will be re-thinking how much I am eating from now on.  Air Bag lights don't lie.  I think my pants feel tight.  Imagination?  Could be.  Could just be the Air Bag Light has freaked me out.  I didn't wreck so my lunch didn't get killed!  But I feel awful cause I ate the whole thing.  Laters.........

photo from: www.withoutagym.net  

Nightmare on Stratton.................by Diane Ogden

Well not exactly a nightmare, more like a string of dramatic exhausting events leading up to no solution as of yet. 
My littlest Grand-daughter spent the night last evening.  Usually this goes very well and so it did for about ten hours.  Kar fell asleep at 10:00 p.m. and was up at 5:00 a.m. asking if mommie was here yet.  Hitting my Grannie  button before my eyes were even open.  I then turned on some Disney princess cartoon that will ruin her life if she really listens to it.  But it did give me an extra half hour of rest.  At that time I snuck her "nay-nay" blanket away and soaked the sucked on corners in Mrs. Meyers Oxi, then hot water washed it.  It was about 3/4 the way thru the cycle (the plan was to wash it twice) when she suddenly noticed it was "MIA!"  I calmly told her it was in the washer getting all pretty for her.  How happy it is in the washer for her and so on.  She wasn't having it.  So I sat her on the dryer to wait for it, after showing her the happy "nay-nay" laying in the washer for her. Notsomuch! Check out those needing nay-nay tears. 

 

Then finally it stopped spinning and she got her hands on it!  There would be no putting "nay-nay" in the dryer.  Nope, Nadda, Not!

 

 

A bit happier huh?  Ya think?  Should have been there. OMG!

 

Then I decided to take her and the 6 lb dog to dunkin donuts as she loves that.  And I had caused enough upset washing nasty dirty "nay-nay."  So I dragged the forty pound car seat with the dog bed stacked on top of it and on top of that my purse....out the apt. and down the hall to the elevator, got stuck on the base of the elevator door opening, then across the garage floor to the truck.  Got it in, then I wont even go into trying to hook it all in properly.  Reading side directions where the ones in Spanish (pics) seemed to be easier to understand.  Then she climbed into the seat and I buckled her in.  I thought the buckle by her legs seemed to be a bit tight.  And then after getting the dog in her bed and buckled in I climbed in and stuck the spare key in, (I couldn't find my regular keys, add to the morning) and turned the spare key in the ignition and NOTHING!  New used truck is DEAD. How could this be.  How??  Why?  I almost had a breakdown for real.  Decided I could not have the breakdown I deserved so just tell Karli and move on. Please note her Mom's car broke down yesterday and she had to stand off the highway with her Mom for two hours waiting for help and now here it was happening again today.  Awful. Not to mention she was so excited about getting a donut.  Her little tears seemed more than sad. 

 

 

 Out came the dog, back out the dog bed, then to Karli and would you even believe I couldn't get her car seat straps off.  Got the top part off but no way was the bottom coming undone.  She said, "Mommie can do it!"  I thought to myself, what am I going to do?  I had locked the bottom latch in backwards.  I was ready to call 911 to get the kid out.  She was getting nervous and so was I.  I finally gave it all I had and got one side undone.  That gave me some room to get the other one out but not without sweat and believe me some hidden tears on the other side of the truck.

 

We are upstairs.  Settled back in.  Have no clue how to get the new used truck started on a Sunday.  I texted my grown Granddaughter but no response.  Karli fell asleep next to me her on the loveseat.  Dog on one side with Kar and Bobby the cat on the other arm.  And me, I am watching Four Weddings.  I have had three so I guess this is an appropriate show for me to watch this crazy morning.   Add it to the list.   (We are all just fine, merely a tad frazzled)  So....laters should be betters. 

 

 

Facebook....................by Diane Ogden

I wish I would have come up with the idea of face-book.

 


  That doesn't mean I don't enjoy facebook.  Because I do, most of the time. 

And I try not to criticize or unfriend anyone, although I have unfriended a few political nuts and a couple smart donkeys (butts).  There are the Grandma's who post sappy sayings 24/7 about Grandmothers and mothers.  The town crier who tells us  what the police scanner in her kitchen is saying all day and all night, as well as weather reports, and traffic accidents.

 The recipes that if truly eaten and not copy/ pasted are heart attacks on paper.  Cheeses, pasta, more cheese, bacon, all on top of potatoes.  Deserts after deserts after more deserts.  Babies, more sayings, more political hate.  I do love the video's of Veterans coming home to their happy pets!  OMG that is a "clean the body out cry" for sure!  Hate the sad beaten dog stories....... So why do I like facebook?    Idk either.  I like the connections with people from my grade school in Wisconsin, people from my Jr. High in Austin, Texas, people from my H.S. back in Wisconsin.... my clients, and a few of my relatives.  Plus I get to see all their friends and family if I chose to.  It creates a large circle of good.  I just kick out the cheese dogs and smart butts and human police ban radio announcer wannabee's.  Oh wait, I forgot the one that tells us when they wake up and how they feel, what they are cooking for dinner every Tuesday!  Corn, Mashed Potatoes, and burgers. I have read it so many times I got it now, it's mine. I even feel like I have eaten it too.  Then there are the people that need prayer which I offer up.  The photos of the children and adults that have beat cancer!  Those are great also.  I hit LIKE quite a bit because LIKE is a good positive word and I mean it when I click it.  Lest I forget the ones that ask me to re-post for an hour if I am a true friend.  OMG Stop that!  I do share from a site called Amazing Things of the World.  Amazing indeed.  And I share some photos of my dog and cat.  Sounds boring huh?  Well it really isn't because if I post a pic it is usually a dandy.  My dog in a stroller going for a walk or my cat Bob getting a rabies shot I really didn't want him to have as they cause tumors and he is an indoor cat... I like posting funny things mostly.  Sometimes a serious saying but not too often.  I also comment on others photos.  That can be disastrous so I am rather careful or so I think.  I can make appointments with my hairdresser on facebook.  I can get referrals from others on just about anything.  I love to see wedding photos, vacation photos, parties, birds, and all other happiness. Why people even post their home remodels from start to finish.  Its great. Except the bullies and the ones that call others a hoe. (sp) Makes a person feel a part of it.  Shared in. No not the "hoe" part, all the good posts. ha.  I inserted the bullies and hoe line as an afterthought and forgot what came after it....  I will leave it at that.  Nothing was funny enough to write about today so you get facebook, fiasco or fun?  I chose fun Fred.  (Fred is my fictitious imaginary friend I talk to when no one else is around.  P.S. Fred has a partner named Frieda too.   Another afterthought....  
I decided to post some pictures of myself like they do on facebook.  Only these are from the way back whens!  Oh and I had Tenderloin and cottage cheese for dinner, and there is a wreck on the beltline so take the west route, and your nobody unless your a grandmother, and Pray for everybody and everything, and my arm and leg hurts, and my neighbor is a hoe! And it might rain. EEwww, I think I need to defriend a few !!  Just kidding.  Have to get laughs from somewhere! 

 

                                                    OKAY that one is too funny!!

I couldn't just post the ugly ones!!

 

Playing Dressup with my friends wig back in the urban cowboy days late 90's

                                                                        2000

ONE MORE for the road Fred!... Except I cant find one for present time.  O well.... Later's...

 

 

                                                                        2011-2013

 

 

Smokin' Dope, The Neighbors Are!..................by Diane Ogden

Okay so the other morning I was preparing my God Bless-ed lunch for the work day, in my kitchen, under my ceiling vent, when I smelled something I had smelled at some point in my life or previous life before.  I swayed back and forth trying to find where the familiar odor was coming from, all the while trying to decipher how I even  recognized "it."   That is when out of the blue (must mean out yonder way) the answer came riveting into my brain cells among other cells.  That smell was Mara-ji-Juana! The WEED. How did I know this?  Because I am a BABY BOOMER (hello)  Okay so I toted a few times way backa when and all it did was make me sleep.   Except one time I laughed till it hurt everywh

ere.  And maybe another time I ate everything in site for an hour.... and maybe another time...
Given those cute small confessions I need to tell you, OMG I liked the smell of that familiar OLD relaxing odor that helps chemo patients stop peucking.  Helps patients in pain sleep.  Helps relieve so many medical problems for so many....and there it was coming thru my ceiling vent.  OMG how I wished I could bottle it as many others do.  I do wonder who is stopping the flow of this medicinal marijuana that could help so many.  And me too.  Heck I slept like baby that night and to think I was afraid the new moving in neighbors would keep me awake stomping around and around and around and.....oh oh more fumes....here we go again!  Just kidding!  Gawd......  Or not. 
Hey, U.S. imports pharmaceuticals from China with ass-phalt filters and dog food from China killing our animals, so big companies can make major profits off death and deceit and CEO's can pull off million dollar bonus's.  Oh dear I better not write this or I may not get that promotion, or I may get killed as some have .    All because I spoke the freedom of speech I am NOT entitled to anymore.  Guess I  just had a bad day huh?  Or is this real?  Or maybe I stood too long in my kitchen and got all drugged up from the ceiling vent.  Yup that has to be it....  DUH NOT!    (okay so I got a lil sniff) Its been provin it helps glaucoma patients too.  That is a good thing I would have to say.   So try not o judge me for "thinking" it is an erb that should be used to help people.   The vent just reminded me.  And who knows, they may have been cooking with a different erb that just reminded me of "the old days."  
P.S. I do not indulge in illegal anything.  Sometimes a certain odor brings back good and or bad memories!  So I made some jokes regarding one of mine.    Later's..... 

Nurses Concussion.................by Diane Ogden

Today was amazing.  Last night even better considering I did not sleep on wink!  I got to watch every infomercial on TV until three a.m. at which time I got to enjoy (not) Diane Garcia and what's his name give news to insomniacs all over the country for an hour or so.  My alarm went off at 5:45 at which time I did not want to get up.  Why?  I finally got sleepy!  Too late.  I ran around getting dressed, taking the dog out, grabbing some cottage cheese and  peaches and out the door to my 7:30 a.m. vascular leg ultrasound.  I showed up at 7:15.  No desks open yet.  So I found the correct room and sat in the only rocker trying to stay awake.  A woman asked me my name and informed me I was not on their roster of patients.  She then looked into it further and told me I belonged across town.  And it is now heavy traffic time.  I arrived at the proper place at 8:10 a.m. at which time they said they could do ONE LEG.  The nurse came in to do the standard pre appointment meeting of questions that get asked again anyway...   We got to talking and I couldn't help but start in with my joke lines....  I just cant help it if I get an audience of at least one and there she was live and in color.  She mentioned she is from a farm and somehow I mentioned my grandmothers farm and how my grandmother always smelled like cheese! The nurse lost it, threw her head back laughing so hard she hit it on the corner of a wall joint really hard.  She is then squinting in pain holding her head with both her hands while I am trying to explain how Grandma used to have a milk separator where she separated the crème from milk and made butter too. I have said that line before and every time people crack up but no one ever got hurt. LOL.  Then she asked me if I was still taking the meds listed.  I saw the one anti depressant and told her NO WAY!  I took that dang pill one day last week and never again.  It hated me and I hated it and not to worry, I didn't and wont kill myself, I just cut my hair.  (Big mistake!) 

So then onto the ultrasound room.  The "ultrasounder" person was a young woman (she wasn't bald like the photo ha) who proceeded to tell me all about her latest day care problems.  I tried to stop her because I am done with those days.  Not to be mean.  Just done with the baby times.  That is when I interceded to tell her how I used the rest room before I came into her room.  That I usually always "squat" as most women do but figured it was early and no one had used it yet.  So I sat on down!
And when I stood up my tooshie was all wet with someone else's U R I N E!  How sweet-notsomuch.
Now that tech doctor is laughing and so it went on.   After the ultrasound I was placed in a room to wait for Dr. Hammasagghi.  I read the material regarding surgery for my possible condition depending up on the laughing ultrasound results.  Then I got bored and obviously I was beyond tired from no sleep so I decided to find some music on my smart phone.  I almost never listen to music on my smart phone.  I find it and begin listening to a Patti Page album at which time Dr. Hammasagghi walks in.
I got so nervous I pushed the side button which is the lite duh... Then apologized and said how I couldn't find how to shut it off.  He said it was okay.  NO IT WASN'T!  We couldn't talk over Patti Page singing Little Green Apples loudly!!   He laughed and said, "Smart Phone?"  I said, "Obviously smarter than I am!"  I told him I may have to sit on it to silence it.  Actually all I had to do was turn it down but I got so darn flustered I couldn't think of it.  Finally I held the button down until it shut off.   That is when Dr. Hammasagghi told me I needed surgery.  On both legs.  The main vein in each leg needs to be heated up and shut down.  Terrific.  That means two surgeries he said, "One leg at a time!"  Heck I am working on simply living "One day at a time!"  O'well, I we had fun anyway....from wrong clinic, to Grandma smelled like cheese, to nurse banging her head on the wall laughing, to sitting in someone else's urine, to Patti Page singing to Dr. Hammasagghi....and me forgetting how to turn my own phone off.   Now I am going to sleep and wake up laughing.  Later's.....  Be well, be safe, be happy, and get rich so you can take time off to have necessary surgeries!  Oh and people to help when its over!