Eileen's Dark Chocolate Sponge Candy............by Diane Ogden

Christmas to me means Eileen's Dark Chocolate Sponge Candy.  I avoid it at all costs but it never works out.  I try to miss the isle where it lays all snuggly in a bin along side the milk chocolate sponge candy.  Or at the other store where it is stacked high in the produce section inside plastic bags with twist ties and a hefty price tag along side it.

Eileen's Dark Chocolate Sponge Candy reminds me of love, caring, sharing, romance, comfort to the max-ola.  I only think of FAT when I start to buy it and enjoy it.  Then suddenly I don't care.  I throw the word FAT right out the window with nutrition and health and heart attacks.   There is not one good nutritional anything Eileen's Dark Chocolate Sponge Candy has to offer my body.  But my mind adores it as if it were a date with a handsome prince.  Who dates handsome princes duh?  Well, you get my point right?   I love the stuff.  I swear every year I wont do it again but I do it again.  I eat some in the morning, some at noon, some in the evening.....until its all gone.  Every year the amount the seller puts in the bag gets smaller.  This year there were about eleven pieces in one bag.  Two bags for $5.  It wouldn't matter if  it cost $15 for eleven pieces.  I would buy it because it is love to me.  Sick!  But I cannot help it.   I just wonder if this didn't happen to me when I was a child.  Someone gave me Dark Chocolate Sponge Candy during an unusually happy event and my subconscious has harbored that connection ever since.  Or -  it could be that I just like the taste of pure burnt sugar.  Eeww.  Cant be!  I don't even eat much sugar that is why this is so weird.  Secretly I cant wait until the season is over and it is off the shelves and I can go back to working off the few pounds I ate with love.   Then again I cant wait until next year when it shows back up again!!

Christmas Spirit?..........................by Diane Ogden

And so this is Christmas!  Christmas traffic that is! Add the fact it is 5:00 going home traffic also, it is totally nutz out here.  Worst I have seen in years.  I was at the Barnes and Noble bookstore and the Metcalf's Grocery behind the mall.  I think I was not thinking clearly to get myself in that placement at that time of day and year.  That was like mopping myself into a corner and having to stand there until the WAX dried.  Not just the normal water wash, nope, WAX.  Obviously wax takes much longer to dry in case whoever is reading this doesn't know that fact.  Meaning I got myself stuck in the longest traffic line I have seen in years aside from an accident scene. 

I had to get onto the circle drive around the mall to get out of the mall circle of stores....   It was bumper to bumper for at least a mile around.  It looked just like the end of the movie "Field of Dreams" where the cars kept coming from afar.  You know if you build it they will come!  Well today was, it is two days shy of Christmas and they came....from every direction at me, and RUDE, I am talking RUDE.  They were pulling out in front of me, charging in from aside me.  One man cut across two lanes in front of others directly at my truck!  No one could move....His goal was to pull in to the same place I was pulling out of.  There were cars both ways with him in the center of it all.  I raised my finger to him, no not that one,  and then I made the inch sign meaning, "Sir you need to wait a minute!"  I did that twice and mouthed it clearly to him.  I am sure his wife was embarrassed of the old coot.  He signed back to me saying he wanted in and continued inching toward my truck. Where's my gun?  I inched out onto the around the mall lane behind a car and got as close as I could so big boy could get into the grocery lot.  But not only he turned and squirmed in behind me but about seven others follows suit.  The gall he had blew me away.  The gall many had today blew me away.  I have never experienced this before and I have been in a few big cities in my days on earth.  Today beat em all. 

I would be sitting at a green light waiting while at least FOUR cars went thru their red light holding all of us back .  People were just not full of the right spirits today.  Okay so after I got out into the roundabout the mall road, bumper to bumper was still the name of today's game.  Suddenly out of nowhere a very forceful man-woman (It was a woman with balls) came out of nowhere, Sears lot I believe, and cut her front bumper right in between myself and the car ahead of me.  There was no room for her at the inn so she just busted in!!  Had I looked away from the road to change my radio or whatever, I would have hit her and oddly enough it would have been my fault maybe.  Sucky Christmas shoppers. 
We certainly should not allow guns.  Today was a gun day for me.  I would have shot over the top of "cut across coots" head had I had one.  Maybe! 
Before all this I stopped at Barnes and Noble Bookstore.  Love that place, but not today.  They had eleven check out counters going yet there was still a line halfway back into the store.  I enjoy a crowd but this was nutzo.  As was the traffic!  I shall stay at home on Christmas Eve and not deal with those people.  They do not have the kindness Christmas Spirit!  50% were Donkey-holes.  Get it?
Laters......Merry Donkey Chirstmas.... (Get it?)  Okay so some of the traffic naughtiness rubbed off on me.  Do-Overs......Merry Christmas and stay out of traffic so you can maintain your happiness. 

True Kindness and Joy..................................by Diane Ogden

Most of us expect kindness and joy at Christmas time.  It is we look forward to every year,  November and December.  We can forget, set aside, or maybe override the pain of war, school shootings, family problems, abused animals and so on.  As December approaches and lights sparkle in windows, roofs, bushes, trees, in shapes of animals and Santa's,  it seems all that sparkling reflects to our brains like the sky in a calm lake.  Peace on Earth.  Then again thru the cracks come the old life problems and pains of course. 

I was experiencing a very heavy "brain day" yesterday.  Over the top in fact.  My faith had hit the floor boards. Wait, we don't have floor boards anymore.  Do over.  My faith had hit the floor with no where and no one to lift it back up.  Or so I thought. 

This Christmas I had decided to gift all my clients and their children.  Since the death of my father my own family has pretty much gone to the winds of time....dead.    Enough said on that subject.   And, considering if I am not giving I am not happy.....  Then again I am not sure I thought this through as thoroughly as I should have considering we are talking about 88 people plus all the cats and dogs adding to over 100!  What was I thinking?  Actually it has given me more joy than I expected.  Cats got catnip, dogs got small bags of no corn no wheat treats...  "little men" rec'd lighted spiders and "little women" got bubble baths and or pink lighted spiders and more!  For the adults I chose soy candles and or Christmas bags of red velvet cupcake mixes and brownies and coffee cakes.  Fun! 

I was merely going through the steps of working every day, coming home to washing supplies, choosing what to wrap up for who the following day and maybe not enjoying it as much as I should have.  Until!!!   I rec'd this thank you and JOY photo's of these little boys and girl opening  their simple tiny gifts .....   The joy in their faces transferred directly to my faded emotions and lit them up like a brilliant Christmas tree that filled all the cells of my mind and spirit.  That may sound dramatic but let me assure you I cant find enough words for what these simple photos offered me.  I am the one that would like to send and thank you for a thank you.  LOL.

                              This is Nora with her Hello Kitty drawing pad and new clay

                            This would be Harold and Charlie whose favorite gift was the
                                                            lighted SPIDERS!!  

Postal, Postal Employee...................by Diane Ogden

So I have a box to mail to my son.  A box filled with cookies and the stocking his deceased Grandmother knitted for him when he was a wee tot.  His first baby Christmas Ornament.  A Singing Santa on a Harley, (Singing "Born to be Wild!) And about twenty dozen cookies or so.
I work every day so getting these boxes filled and off was a challenge.  I completed the challenge once I found a box under my bed that fit the Singing Santa on the Harley.  (He wouldn't fit in the government box labeled Priority Mail.  I got that box finished easy, as well as it cost $16.75 no matter how heavy and the box was free.

Okay so I get to the United States Post Office today carrying my two HEAVY boxes, note, no electric doors.  I get inside and due to the fact they are heavy I set them on a counter and go back and stand in line.  Suddenly I hear a loud rather masculine female voice shout out, "You cannot send liquor boxes thru the U.S. Mail System!"  ( I didn't know the box under my bed was a liquor box!)

The large masculine woman was looking directly at me.  I said, "Me!"  She said, "Yup."  That is when other human beings in the line began informing me to go get some duct tape and cover the words on the box.  So I picked up  my heavy boxes, got thru the non electric doors back to my truckie, drove to Dollar Store, bought duct tape and stood outside in below zero coldness, yes I know that is not a word.  I taped the shit outta that box.  Couldn't see anything but lime green and a pretty river.

 I drove back to the United States Post Office, got out of my truckie, carried the two heavy boxes back inside, set them on the counter, went back and got into the long line.  Suddenly I hear a male voice shout out, "That's not gonna do it! Has to be totally covered.  I can tell that is a beer box."   I said, "But the human beings in the other line told me how to cover the lettering."  He said, "You asked me a question, now are you going to listen?"  I almost went effing postal.  I wanted to say, "Yes your honorable King Postal Man Worker standing next to Queen Donkey (ass) masculine Postal Worker!"  But I did not.  He told me since 9-11 no such boxes are allowed.
I really cannot recall everything else he said.  I sent the one box packed in the government box.....and was told this box would cost me twice as much because I did not use the government box.  Don't even go there Diane....just leave.  So I gathered my half duct taped box and left the building.  I have that box sitting on my table as I type.  I did not have time to go buy more duct tape.  I already used ten yards on it.
Personally I would be more cautious of a box completely wrapped in silver duct tape than I would one with all the lettering covered and a pretty picture showing.  Duh.  P.S. I am going to a different Post Office this time.  I usually go to my kinder small town Verona, Wisconsin Post Office.  They do not holler at me there.  I hate it when that happens....

What I Learned Today..................................by Diane Ogden

Today was an odd day.  It snowed enough to make roads hazardous so I stayed home.  I baked at least 500 cookies, did the laundry, learned from face book why people are overweight (fat) by the recipes they post....   I learned how man has bred dogs unmercilessly to make them what they are today to make money. Even if the dogs are uncomfortable.   I learned there is a road or more than one that is no more than a ledge next to a 2500 foot drop off.  I learned about several pileups on the I System due to snow.  I learned in one of those pileups a small dog was ejected from a vehicle and is lost. Note:  It is freezing outside.   I read about a couple miracles from somewhere in the world.  Got to see a few friends Christmas Trees and one who gave their son an early gift considering they were snowed in.  Watched the State Farm commercial about Jake who calls the husband in the middle of the night and the wife wants to know what Jake is wearing.
How to keep fleas out of my house.   Many people telling of Dove sightings under Pine Trees.  Some Instagram pics and definitely some political bull chit.  I got to watch my neighbors video of someone plowing over their mailbox. (they have a window cam I guess as every year someone kills their mailbox!)  How Border Collies make their own fun.  Heck so do I!
Football scores. Someone doing a handstand for four minutes.  Whoopie Doopie.  No really, I am happy for them.  How to get rid of arm jiggle (yah right long as your in your 30's) How an Elephant saved a kitten from a river.  A lady with one brown eye and one blue eye adopted a cat with one brown eye and one blue eye...... and the list could go on for what I learned just today.  And I think my world is fairly small so I am proud for all my brain took in and I can only hope will retain for some great reason some great day in my life..  Laters...............

The Stolen Christmas Tree.....................by Diane Ogden literally

I am not a hoarder.  But I am an accumulator.  And I have two full storage bins.  One is actually a borrowed bin from my neighbor.  She is a young girl who has not accumulated yet.  I am a "Golden Girl" with much cumulation.  Since Oprah's decluttering advice I have been trying to de-cumulate. 

So this is Christmas.  A Happy Time of the Year! 

I wandered down to my bins to haul my Christmas tree up and I found three trees.  Not so unusual because I bought one for outside and had one for inside and the other one had all its lites blow out. 
I dragged them all up.  Cut all the old blown wire lights off one of the trees, re wired it with new ones.  I could not believe how those lights were wrapped around and around as well as clipped on.  That was a mess I shall not go through ever again.  Just sayin.

The tallest one had lost it top lights last year and this year the bottom went.  So....I restrung lights on that tree. 

Then my neighbor across the way called and asked me if I wanted her old Christmas Pine Tree.  Yes I did!  I drove over and hauled that one home and added lights to it also.  I now had FOUR very pretty trees spaced out in my apartment.  And one small one on the buffet.  So that makes FIVE!  I have had a glorious week of festive cheer all about trees.  I didn't even have to put ornaments up..... 

Then yesterday my neighbor, the young girl who has not accumulated yet and who loaned me her bin because all she uses it for is her bike knocked on my door.  I let her in and she is admiring all my beautiful festive Christmas trees.  She is talking about getting her tree and how she thinks she may have taken hers to her parents house.  I am listening but not "getting it!"  I stupidly said,  "Yah, I didn't know I had this many trees myself, but I just kept finding boxes with trees in them."  That is when the brain light bulb at least flickered a bit.  I looked at her and she is looking at my trees, and I said, "OMG, is one of these yours?"   She said she thought so!   I then went through each of the tree's private lives heritage and discovered the one that was not mine, but hers!  Yes I had inadvertently stolen her Christmas tree.  I was so embarrassed.  I had been so proud of my little lighted Christmas Tree farm village inside my apartment I failed to realize on of them was stolen.  I immediately walked over to the lil cutie and unplugged it, carried it to her, handed it over like it was a stolen child with humble apologies to boot.  I couldn't believe the girl had to knock on my door to see if I had her tree.  And I did.....   I can only hope I do not have anything else that belongs to her.  This was bad enough.  I can laugh about it, but I am seriously embarrassed.  Who steals someone else's Christmas Tree.... from that persons private storage bin no less.

Hey at least I unboxed it, set it up, handed it to her all ready to go.  And her box is back in her bin. 

IRS....................is closed!..................by Diane Ogden

So I received a letter from the Internal Revenue Service.  Anytime a letter comes from the revenuer people's stomachs begin to hurt as well as their brains melt and legs get squishy.  All that and more happened to me as well.  I opened it up.  It said they found I made a $19.00 error.  That my gross income was $19 more than I said.  That meant I owed them $155.00.  I do not know about you  but that doesn't really make any sense.  But then they can say whatever they want and you are supposed to believe it.  I decided to "pay" them a visit.   I took the day off, put my lil dog in the truck and we headed out to where the Internet said they had an office.  Got there and it was EMPTY.  So I called a tax office on my smart phone and they told me where the new office was.  I put that address into my GPS and headed out for a new direction.  Knowing they closed their office every day from 12:00 - 1:00 for lunch.  Wouldn't want to pay someone to office sit for an hour I suppose.  I get to the new address. Park the truck, lock it up, go in and up the elevator and what do you think?   It's closed.  The sign says it isn't supposed to be closed! Monday hours 8:30 - 4:30.

 It was not even noon.   The janitor came walking past and I inquired why it was closed.  He said, 'It's closed a lot."   I say someone is slacking and considering we can never find a human being to talk to when we call the IRS no one will ever know this employee is slacking.  Closing is not slacking, its out right not showing up.

If you look close you can see my lil dog sitting up waiting for me in the truck!
So I drive back home....look up which numbers will get me a person to talk to.  I start at 12:15......I get a person.  I also get put on hold several times.  Get a new person.  Get put on hold more.  The lady finally says she will put in a dispute notice and I should hear back in January.  We hung up and it was 1:55.  Nearly two hours on my cell phone.  Nutz!   And no solution.  No wonder they used to shoot those "Revenuer's" in the olden days.
Be well, Be safe, Be Happy, and get rich so you can mail them a simple $155.00 so you can keep them as far away from you as humanly possible!  And Ssshh, they might hear us.

Laters..........