Peanut Butter Toothbrush

This is Gracie Allen! Found her shivering at the Dane County Humane Society last November. That being said, it has taken allot of patience finding food she likes and just basically trying to find a "nitch" for her to feel comfortable in. She has actually been somewhat depressed and seems to run up to strangers very excitedly until she see's they aren't her "lost people." Much to my happy surprise, I found something that comforts Grace. I dropped my toothbrush one day and off she ran with it.....and as you can see she did not let it go. Now every day she gets a little tad of peanut butter squished into the bristles of HER toothbrush. I got a new one! Ya Think! And she goes thru one every ten days because the bristles come out and that isn't healthy for her. She is getting better in all areas lately. She isn't as afraid of other dogs. She is starting to play with me. She is eating good food, not just living on treats. Only problem is........she poops right in the middle of the sidewalk. Joggers pass and I say, "I didn't teach her that!" They laugh. I don't. Why? Because if it isn't good solid waste I cant pick it up....so I put leaves over it and quickly walk away equally as quickly.

"Nipple Rings"

My son Cody has nipple rings! I uploaded this photo in hopes you could view them. Maybe if you squint real hard you can see them. That is JoAnna, Cody's girlfriend.

I received an email from Tamara, my daughter-in-law and Mother of the twins and Kennede, three girls age 7 and 8. See their photos on past blog. This is a copy of said email:

The girls just piled in the house from school.......Karsyn comes in and says Kennede was being mean to me on the bus. I said," Kennde what happened?" She said, "Nothing, I was telling my friends on the bus about Uncle Cody's nipple rings and Karsyn started pulling up her shirt." Then Kennede said, "I just told Karsyn she can"t pull her shirt up on the bus." I said, "Oh dear," how did you start talking about that?" Kennede says it all started with the ears and then we just moved on down. LOL!

Frick and Frack and Frieda

That is "Frick and Frack," formerly known as Camryn and Karsyn, the twins. Their parents, my son and his wife Tamara, renamed them due to their ability to be comically weird and insanely silly. In other words they are full of the stinker bug.

Before they could even walk they used to jump and wiggle their baby beds until the beds "walked" across the bare floor to meet one another in the middle. Truth! Jar the beds across the room. They jump, climb, run, and rarely sit still along with collecting bugs in a genuine bug container. They love salamanders and lizards and anything that crawls. Frick and Frack! And trying to catch a photo of them is tough, Frack makes faces in every single one.... Her little way of control I suspect. Of course I am no psychologist, but I am sure one would be advising all of us not to call these precious little humans Frick and Frack. But I love it.... too funny and you have to know 'em to believe it. And this is their new bed just put up this week. They cant move them or jump on them! They have those new fancy foam mattress's. But they can reach the ceiling fan, oh Lord.

Frieda, alias Kennede, had to go play so the photos of her new princess bed were taken without her presence. Isn't that a gorgeous bed! And they all got new California closets of which they seem more proud of then the beds. They are very lucky little girls. Frick and Frack and Frieda, alias, my kin. I never planned on a family blog, but it is leaning that way lately...best I take and turn it a bit to other things. We'll see. If you knew my family? There is more......

Arthur Murray

This is my Aunt Betty Morrison, now deceased. The night she was born, ???? approximately 1925, the doctor informed her Mother to hold her and love her because she would not survive the night. She was only 2 lbs. Her Mother's response to the doctor was, "Oh yes she will live!" Then she put her in a shoe box and put her in a warm oven, and she lived. One of four sisters and a brother. I will tell you there were eight lost brothers and sisters Grandma told me herself, but that one lived to teach ball room dancing for Arthur Murray Studios in Madison, Wisconsin.
I never heard allot of good things about my Aunt Betty because my Mother never said any good things about her. I did hear she liked to write. She had three children, None of whom seemed to help her much in life... I do wish I knew more about her. Not the mistakes she made, but the good things. I remember she had a big beehive hairdo and red lips later in life. She ended up in a nursing home with a mangled foot from being dropped off a gurney by hospital workers. No one would help her sue them even though she begged them to help her. By then she was rather voice-tress and a tad mean in her delivery which did not help her plight. She died one night alone. I do wish I knew more good things about her. We need to all remember to try to think on the good things of "our people" and anyone/everyone else before they die alone one night and some relative tries to write a blog post without knowing basically any good stuff. Red Lipstick and a beehive..... not enough for a lifetime is it?And interestingly I had a natural ability to ballroom dance without any lessons and never knew it may have been a special family gene.

I Added to My Life Today

After working my own business today I stopped for a cup of coffee, House Blend to go....then popped into the grocery store for a banana due to some tummy upsets going on.....and to make a bank deposit. On my way out of the store, and mind you I am looking like frump city from the long day. And mind you Frump City Folks go all the way to the bank too! Back to it....I notice the large section of flowers on my way out of the store. They seemed to "un-frump" me, so I went to my car and got my camera that I never leave home without, walked all the way back into the store, possibly shuffling my feet which I detest anyone doing. My little Cybershot digital is my baby and does wonderful things for me such as what you are viewing.... The local market flowers! Aren't they just something to take in. I wanted to buy them all and give them all away to make other people feel as happy as they were making me feel. And some people don't believe there is a higher power. Come on! Look at these miracle colors and shapes and brilliance. Just like us, each one different and brilliant. I bet the flowers know better then we do their brilliance. What are we waiting for...we only Bloom for a short time also. We need to realize our short existence and bloom in beauty and brilliance like the flower shows us to do. What a grand example, surely from God!

Happy Birth-Day Cody Ogden

This handsome man is my son Cody who turned 29 yesterday. Cody lives in Los Angeles, California much too far away from his MaMa, me.... I miss him dreadfully. I don't think using a negative work like dreadfully is appropriate in any sense when speaking of my son Cody. So let me re-phrase myself and say I miss his marvelous appearance in my life very much every day. He is a comedian, a disc jockey, an actor, or should I say an auditioner, a personal trainer and aerobics instructor, a lighting man for British Petroleum meetings all over the country and out of the country, maintains his own business called Helpful Hands Handyman Service in Los Angeles, and is an Associate with PrePaid Legal in his spare time......oh and has a special girl friend named JoAnna whom I have not yet had the privilege to meet, but would like to. Cody works too much and too hard and too long but he does it, and it will pay him back. Those are the seeds Cody knows how to plant, therefore they are planted willingly and he will reap what he has sowed and that is much. Whatever Cody does in life, he is the best in my book. Everybody loves Cody Ogden.....but I love him more! Let me add I am very glad he was born. Love Mom xxoo

Did China Take Over?

OK your right I did not take this photo while on my walk this morning. But only because I forgot to take my camera along. This photo looks very much like the field out back on my apt. building so I chose to use it so as to set the mood better for my little bitty story.
I awoke around 7:15 as usual. I need no alarm clock no matter what time I am supposed to awake, I merely tell my brain before bed what time to wake and it complies. Maybe I should be trying to tell my brain other things at night and maybe it will comply to those also. Hummm. Big thought. Back to Misty Morning. I get dressed right away to take Gracie Allen out to poddie. All the time knowing we have to walk a half mile first because she "thinks" that if she poddie's too quickly we might just have to go back inside. Smart cookie huh? We have the ritual of walking out the side door and around the back where there are two huge fields on either side of the road then on up the hill to another neighborhood. There is actually a farm less than a 1/2 mile from here. Now remember I do this every morning with my dog but this morning was different.....maybe the Moon or Universe was in some certain order I wasn't aware of, but I was suddenly aware of something different. Here I am in a bustling neighborhood, 1000 feet from a main road, Rows of Condo's on the other side of the street, four huge apartment buildings on this side full of dogs that must have to "pee and poo," plus regular neighborhoods surrounding us..... Not a sound!! Not one sound but a few birds!! Spooky, oh yes. And peaceful, indeed. But you know me, I go back to the spooky and start thinking something may have happened while I slept and I missed it. Like the Chinese finally came and took everyone because we owe them so much money. LOL not funny. There were two American flags gently blowing in the slight breeze that appeared grey through all the misty fog. I tried to hear a human being. I thought, no child crying or laughing, no husband wife fighting or even making love, no dogs barking, then one SUV passed me going quite fast which spurred on more spooky thoughts to surface. Where is everyone. Is my childhood nightmare finally coming true where I come home from school and everyone on the planet is gone. I can have anything and everything I want, but I was all alone and I didn't want anything but all the people to come back.
Back to reality of morning walk. Mind you it is 7:30 a.m. in a large city and not a sound. And windows are open. I know because I checked. What was this Misty Dream that was happening to me and my dog? Then suddenly sound returned, the cars, the dogs, an airplane, a jogger, and I knew China hadn't come after all. Maybe the fog was all my ancestors visiting me in rebuttal or maybe agreement of my last blog post. Oh dear....Hey guys you left me some good "stuff" too so get over it. No more tricks on Misty Morning Walks....OK??
Tags:
16-00-0 16-01-0 fog misty morning tree tree on a misty morning weather

"The Way We Were"

Did you ever wonder why you made certain mistakes or mis-judgments in your life? Well I have learned why and wish to share it with you. Friends and family of mine often wonder why I am so interested in my ancestors, or "the way we were" folks. Because however we WERE, WE ARE, and that may be good or/and bad.....one usually outdoing the other toward the negative end at least from my experience. Let's just play a scenario out here...let's say my Great Grandmother was mean, but hard working....and she married a man that drinks. Then on the other side of the family the drink was also an issue and add to that, they allowed other people to take/and raise their children. I call it child swapping actually. So 80 years later, my Great Grandmothers daughter marries a man that is mean. And my other Grandmother/Granddaughter/Grandson marries a man/woman of the drink. Then their children mess up with "the drink" and they have to take care of their Grand-children. And then the Grandfather hits the children and those children marry people that abuse them, and drink. And so goes the carousel........... Round and round we go and were we stop nobody knows. But I do. Because I lived it. And may I add I learned from it. And may I add its never too late although I do wish to have learned sooner than later. So maybe you will if you read this. You see I figure cells have memory, (my son taught me that as he studied with the monks in China) and the cells memories move on-to us. Our ancestors have much to tell us if we listen and dig. No different than digging for archaeological items in the dirt. Really no different. You can go and pay cash to see if you have the gene to inherit cancer, or diabetes....and you can also check your spirit and research your background to see what other parts you have inherited and then fight like hell to get rid of the negatives your Ancestors "passed on" to you. There is no medicine for that! Whether its abuse, alcoholism, abandonment, malice, and so on.......They, your ancestors play a major role in forming your life and helping you to find your reason for existing. Life is not merely going to work and come home to watch TV,procreating, and eating....life is not to be borne for nothing. You have things to do, things to work on.....

Sophie "LuLu" Moved Away

I named her Sophie and my daughter named her LuLu, now which one do you like? Of course Sophie duh. Well LuLu moved out two days ago. (you see who won the naming contest) The dog, "Gracie Allen," and the cat, "Lucy," seem a tad lost, yet at peace. I'm not lost at all! I am not being scratched in the middle of the night, in the mornings, in the afternoons, in the evenings. My dog is not being ridden like a monkey on a dogs back at the rodeo. But my cat seems a little lonely, because her and LuLu had played and wrestled all day. So now Lucy is meowing 24/7 and I am trying to accommodate her whining.

Doesn't Sophie LuLu look like a Feret? She stands on her hind legs and stays that way just looking around. She did that in bed the other night (those are my feet under the covers next to hers). So I got out of bed, run to get the camera, came back and jump back in bed and took the picture. Yup she stayed that way the entire time. She is quite the character I have to say....

She moved to a home where a pit bull lives and guess what...they are liking each other! I suspect there will be allot of play time going on very soon between the pit bull and the ferret cat named LuLu.... oh man what a dumb name. But its listed at the vet as Lulu so it is what it is. We have peace and quiet but I think we all really miss LuLu anyway. No one sits in the sink every morning when I brush my teeth and fix my hair, no one is climbing on the counter while I make my sack lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwich with pretzels. Nor is she sleeping next to my pillow each night, nor is she "killing" my Nana's antique red velvet love seat with her no de-claws, nor is she climbing my beautiful sheers to catch and eat a fly, nor is she, nor is she, nor is she. She is gone! Hey, not dead......just moved out and I and the rest of this zoo have peace! I love it. I suspect she will be back on occasion for sleepovers when my daughter goes to visit her boyfriend at college.

Snoopy Times Three

Remember the Infamous Grainery a couple posts back? I happened to be rummaging around in it while dreaming of the new floors, walls, and warm fireplace after its remodel. Then I smelled something not so fresh, that brought me back to reality in a hurry and look what I found. Three Snoopy's. The oldest with only one ear and so little fur belonged to my eldest son named Daniel. He is 41, or is he 40? The middle one belonged to my next son named Chad who is 37. That snoopy has a bit more fur but not much....two ears though. Chad also had another favorite stuffed animal, in fact three...they were the Chipmunks. Simon, Theodore, and ALVIN! I handed those over to him for his daughters a few years ago. Back to Snoopy. The Snoop Dog on the left belonged to Cody who will be 30 this year. Aren't they cool, these Snoopy times three? But my boys are even cooler. Chris who is 26 didn't get a Snoopy, he had a White Bear named "Miff." I have somewhere in the "Infamous Grainery."

Art in the Family

There are five children, two Father's included, and myself...and we can all draw and paint and wood burn....and design. I drew the picture on the left in the 1980's....and since have done many pencil portraits. My oldest son draws nature scene's, portraits, and some naughty Harley Girls. The next son down in age draws well but doesn't exercise his gift due to a time issue I think. (He has a wife, (previous post) three girls age 8, and twins 7.) My next son down in age can draw and paint beautifully....he used to watch that fast painter Bob on TV for years when he was growing up....add that to his basic talent and you have it! Then the next son down in age is also an excellent artist, who does great cartoon characters.... then the next only daughter down cannot draw a line, but can rearrange a room I thought was great to begin with......she makes it a masterpiece. She is a gifted interior-ist. My own made up word. My Mother could draw as I recall. Oh, I forgot the one father who was also an artist..... so the middle two sons got a double whammy of art genes.(do you think I forgot him on purpose or was that out of sight out of mind) I do wish there were more time to devote to these wonderful creative talents my family possesses. Everyone so busy, no time to smell the real roses. I shall post some of my sons works....just because I want to and its my blog.

Meg Ryan has a Twin

So which one is Meg Ryan huh? Does she really have a twin? I think so.
I was going to do this blog post yesterday but then the good news arrived regarding "The arrest of the people that conspired to murder Tamara's Father when she was a small child. (Previous Post)She grew up without the adoring love of a Father all her life. Beyond that, I just think it is amazing how much she and Meg Ryan look alike. Well, Tamara has a prettier nose is all....I shall go find some more pics for viewing and analyzing. Fun isn't it? Nothing else to say right now. Just wanted the public to see the remarkable resemblance. I look like a famous movie star too. Oh sure you want to know which one huh? Well I am not telling today, anyway. LOL By the way, she is married to my son Chad. They are truly pretty people, Meg, Tamara, and Chad......ya think? Me too.

http://www.madison.com/wsj/home/local/index.php?ntid=304379

George Killed Billy Miller

Well where do I start? I did a post on my blog about my daughter-in-laws Father's murder and how it had never been solved. Well it has! 37 years later almost to the day. I am absolutely in awe of this occurrence and absolutely thankful. I have known Tamara Miller Hull for many years and have always known her wish to find her father's murderer. So here we are today September 9, 2008 and it is done. Amen...... An eye witness comes forward. Why now? Fear of being harmed before and now with enough evidence and back up the fear dissipates. I do not wish to say too much due to the case being tried at present. The murderer was a Sheriff duh...I would have been terrified to talk myself. He already killed once, why not again? I will link you to this story shortly. I cant imagine the emotions going on with this family. Yet what a wonderful thing that has happened here today .......a solved crime, peace in the beyond. Wow. Isn't this called HOPE and isn't this called MIRACLES HAPPEN. This is a photo of Billy, and those twins I write about are his Grandchildren as well as mine. I wish I could have know the other Grandfather to my Grandchildren. I think I would have liked him. My daughter-in-law looks like him, and her son Tyler looks even more like him. We miss him and I hope he knows it. How dare these lovers snuff out his beautiful life? I called a prayer group in Muskogee Oklahoma and these twelve women prayed for the hidden things to be made known and whalla, there were. Thank you God! There aren't enough earthly words for this thank you..... I believe it is a supernatural answer to many years of prayer.......... Rest in Peace William Billy Miller and may your pain be turned to blessings for your offspring and theirs. We all love your children and Grandchildren for you as best we can. IN YOUR HONOR we bless this day, week, year..........


This is Billy's daughter Tamara, my daughter by marriage.....

A New Way Of Dressing Chickens

I have twin Granddaughters. Need I say more? They were visiting their Great Grandmother MaMe and PaPa Joe on the farm when they disappeared for a short time. Upon finding the twins Great Grandma and Grandpa found more than they bargained for. The girls had dressed the Chickens! In the old days dressing chickens was a whole nother story... eeewww. This is much better and the chickens don't seem to mind either. In fact one of them went to school for show and tell last year. By the way the little blue dress on number two Miss Chicken belonged to Lindsay, my 19 year old daughter when she was little! And the blanket in the wagon, under said chickens was my son Cody's baby blanket and he will be 30 this year. I did make a phone call to the farm.....regarding Cody's baby blanket that is supposed to be packed away in the "Infamous Grainery," (a couple blogs back) for someday when/if he has a child. I am wondering how that got out and into the wagon under dressed chickens??? Interesting though. Hopefully the animal rights activists for chickens wont find this little blog. Yet its a much better life for these chickens then what I have heard about on those big chicken farms. Our chickens are farm fed, no antibiotics, free range and beautifully dressed!

Photo is the 19 year old daughter at age 19 and age 3 with the Chicken dress on!

I Found the Green Paper Money

This is Happy Diane! I found the lost green paper. How can green paper cause so many good and bad things in life. Green Paper!

The money was on the floor between four picture frames. Just an inch of the envelope sticking out from under. No reason for it to be there. I am not going to examine or analyze it. I am just thankful I got it back. Even though Green Paper is much more important than it should be.......I love/like it and need it just like everyyone. I am Happy Diane and will work on being Happy Diane even if I lose something important again. And I will try to stay out of the dumpsters.

photo compliments of Diane's 1.3pix WebCam

Dumpster Diving

I guess it has to be I that lost the envelope containing $155.00 in twenty's, a ten and a five. Now that is not a lightweight envelope that could fall out of my purse. So I backtracked in my mind where I went that day, like the Library, the drugstore, the Hospice Thrift Shop, Old Navy and home. Why would I remove an envelope I put deep into the well of my bag called a purse? (Because the money was for someone else by the way) I realize this blog post does not carry much depth like some of the past ones, but that dumpster I decided to check on was plenty deep. After shedding a few tears that if named would be called "pissed off," sad, and tired tears. Thinking of how hard I worked for that $155.00 Wha Wha, and what a great deal I thought I got at the Hospice Thrift Store which now puts me in a new kind of hole. I have checked all the drawers in the house, cleaned out the car, taken my trusty little step ladder we all have one, down to the dumpster room all the time having good thoughts and great hopes of finding the envelope filled with money. I open the heavy door and the aroma is less than magnificent. I deal. Walk over to the one of four huge green containers and slightly touch it. I suspect I was de-sensitizing myself slowly. Did it do any good? Nope. I pulled it away from the wall, lifted and propped the huge lid against the cold cement gray wall and then climbed up the steps and peered down into a vessel of stench. I removed two large bags, then spotted what I thought were "my bags." I bent over the edge and leaned in when suddenly the earth felt like it was moving....oh my God don't let the lid fall on me! The darn thing had started rolling. Then my thoughts raced to, "What if someone walks in on this 8 X 10 glossy?" Well I will just tell them, "No I am not hungry, I lost a packet of cash money and this is the length I will go for it to be in my possession once again." Then thinking the person or persons who didn't really walk in didn't want to hear all that anyway. Coffee grounds, spoiled chocolate milk, doggie pee pads, old cat food, and last but not least, used kitty litter, but no bank envelope holding my money! Now I have moved onto extra sensory and paranormal candle burning to see if my dead Grandma will tell me where the H my money is. So far she hasn't come forth. The good news is: I have more money where that came from so I need to relax.

photo from www.planebuzz.com/Inspirational

The Infamous Grainery

The infamous Grainery is a smaller square building at the old family farm. There is a basement that was used for many years as a Tobacco Stripping area. That means we used to strip each individual leaf off a tobacco plant stalk. Long tedious work. Dad would build a fire and stand for hours only to get several thousand dollars at the end of a long hard working year. That was the way of the old American Tobacco farms in Wisconsin. Just in case my family reads this someday I will tell you I wasn't so good at the long hard labor part of it. We moved from big city Austin Texas to little awful farm with bugs and no bathroom when I was a teen. So rebellion was my middle name. So enough of that for now. Back to the infamous Grainery that houses itself just outside the main house and fifteen feet from the main house garage. It has a nice white coat of paint on it and no broken windows. A solid floor, solid roof with no leaks and a new door that looks like it may have come from a church. And since the farm no longer raises tobacco it sat empty for many years besides Daniel (my eldest son's) car parts and old tires.....and Grandpa's two by fours, paints, old barn windows, solid wood doors, and fertilizers. Then one day I discovered it in all its un-glory. Anything I had left over went under its roof. Christmas decorations, Easter, Halloween, Winter clothes in Summer and vice verse. Beds the kids outgrew, old family albums, bins of all five's schoolwork and self portraits from Junior High. Their tech ed projects, my projects, toys, their first blankee's and stuffed animals. First dolls. Special clothes like Harley Leather Jacket and H.S. Footballs, and baseball bats from little league and boys little tin boxes with special prom boutaneers (sp)and girlfriend love letters. Canoe racing awards, ski's, snowboards, an old rocking chair, a new one. Family photos from years gone by never to be seen again except in the infamous grainery. Clothes I will never get into again but wont admit it! Plaques and gold statues from winning awards in the days of youthful vibrant sales. The Grainery is like one of those grand Grannie attics. Today I suggested to the old folks that we fix her up. We put some insulation and dry wall up....repair the chimney, sand the rustic wood floors, add a few plugs, paint and move on in. What a great place to rent out or have on hand should a family member be in need for whatever reason. Then we could move onto the barn and turn it into a novelty gift shop. That wont work, my Mother is a junk shop lover. Oh God! Forget the whole thing and leave it as is. The Infamous Grainery full of my life treasures. By the way I am not old, the Grainery is!Oh Crap I forgot there is not toilet in there, but the old outhouse stands right next to it with Sears Catalog sitting there just in case. This really is the original outhouse I am speaking of... and my son and I in front of THE GRAINERY in middle photo.

top photo from www.mainepuzzles.com/Images/Nostalgic-Jigsaw-Puzzles/6175

Michelle's Little Finger

It does not matter to me if you are Democrat or Republican. And it does not matter to me how you play "your" games to win. But it does matter to me who runs the country I was raised in and the country my ancestor's came to live in and stand by. Yet from all I have listened to, read, and watched...........Michelle has more class and intelligence and charisma in her little finger than what's her name from Alaska who wants to be seen as a Pit Bull and whose husband wants to be known as First Dude. Humm, The Pit Bull and First Dude.

I am so embarrassed at this lack of class and lack of honor and lack of honesty. No wonder we aren't number one anymore. Someone messed with the rules and when that



happens confusion sets in all around the board, in turn calling out every "good" wolf in sheep's clothing to make his/her own rules with no one paying enough attention to halt it or knowing how to. The wolf is big. Yet it is soooo simple. Do YOU want the Harvard Graduate who seems honest and trustworthy? And is half white which I never hear..........

Or the Old Man with his side-kick Pit Bull and her First Dude?
www.realpitbull.com

The Hospice Thrift Shop

This was a good day for me. I enjoy stopping off at the local Hospice Thrift Store knowing I will find something nice and of quality to satisfy my weekend buying bug. Usually it ends up being a nice shirt or piece of jewelry. I never expected to find this wonderful replica of an old wash basin. And it matches my Queen Anne Desk I am sitting at and Hutch my dear friend and Hospice patient, Miss Claire gave me before she passed. The key here is I bought this piece for next to nothing which much of the Hospice items go for. I have been trying to become a bit more modern like IKEA and Target...but it isn't happening. I seem to wander on back to the piece's with more personality vs black and square. I did pass up on a Stickley chair in 100% condition for $99. It just didn't have a home here. My next purchase will be a chair that goes with this desk I am sitting at when I am not working. I have a huge black office chair from Staples that is simply and totally out of whack in my home. Its OK, I will find exactly what is best with a little patience. At present I am working on a barn window from the farm I was raised on.....I painted it black and will be placing antique photos of our ancestors in each window pane. Along with the purchase of four "inexpensive" black frames to go on each side of the window. Don't worry I will blog it and photo it when I complete it. All I need do is make the trip 22 miles to said farm and get my stash of photo's out of the infamous Grainery. That's another blog!

I'll Never Tell...

I have a business called "A Green Experience," which means my clients choose to have their homes cleaned using all natural Green (cleaning) supplies. I have seen everything from "erp" and I don't mean Wyatt, in bathroom trash containers, to enough dog hair from one cleaning to make forty wigs. OK so four wigs. But I'll never tell. 

The other day one of my clients came to my daughter who works with me on occasion and asked her if she could clean the Green cleaner off his toilet seat after she cleans it with said Green cleaner.

She said, "Sure, but why?" He said, "Because I got stuck to it!"

I couldn't stop laughing because I wanted so badly to say, "No , its not the Green Cleaner, its that you sit too long sir!

You have stacks of magazines, crossword puzzles, and pens, heck it looks like an office next to the toilet. My Grandpa used to say, "Either sit there and think or sit there and stink." Sorry but he was an old Farmer and when I was just old enough to read I saw that written (a tad differently) on the outhouse wall.

There really was an old Sears Catalog in Pa's outhouse for the purpose of wiping. I used to crumple up the pages and rub them together to soften them for obvious reasons. I was 6 years old!! If you have never wiped with a piece of paper you have missed out on a piece of life. But then I have never used a leaf and I don't figure I have missed out on a darn thing.

OK so back to what I have seen. Sweat so thick on walking machines it is yellow and no I wont clean that up! I have seen closets I wouldn't let the cleaning lady see. Now I know why my friends always cleaned up before the cleaning lady came. I love it when I see a beautiful black flat stove top someone used like they were cooking over a campfire. And I am supposed to figure out how to get a quarter of an inch of black crust off it. But I'll never tell. How about teenagers rooms where you cant see the floor for the clothes and glasses of water and bowls and trash and SPIDERS. One of my clients tells me I forgot to dust off the top of the furnace regulator. Yet the inside of the closet looks like a trash bin. But I'll never tell. Once I even got fired for cleaning the cats water fountain which was not fit for carp... You have to laugh at that one.

Then there are those people who have been blessed financially but don't take care of what they were blessed with...I am speaking of the tangible items their money buys them. I am in awe of the number of shoes people have, the organic foods, the pottery and artwork, the remodeling, the closets bigger than my bedroom, the seven bathrooms, and so on, but I'll never tell. I don't mind, I get to people watch and that is one of my favorite pass times and I get paid for it. I keep in mind that I nurture a home and that is my job. Whatever they do with it beyond that I can only watch for the humor of it all.
Above Photo is not of me, duh. Don't you wish and so do I! And make a note this  bottom picture was a bad day after the toilet went over and down the steps! Cute socks huh?

I Forgot My Bra

Just call me "Fern."

The Stamp says, "Go Bra less.....it pulls the wrinkles out of your face!" That is if the girls weigh enough to make that happen. Obviously mine don't because I still got carded at the grocery store when all I wanted was a bottle of Scotch and some chocolate to finish out this day. When they try to card me I just point at the new addition of "JOWLS" on my face.... and I say, "Here is my date of birth dude teller person, and underneath all this is another mud slide."

OK back to the "I forgot my bra." I got up early this morning and threw on my clothes minus one cross your heart bra because it was take the dog out time, not cinch up your chest time . It was raining, so I grabbed the huge AFLAC umbrella and carried the dog out under her favorite poddie tree. She felt a few drops of that rain water and ran directly back to the door where she has deposited on poddie pads vs grass all day. Then I checked my emails, made my bag lunch, coffee, and put some makeup on.... Time passed quickly so I grabbed my purse, keys, gave the dog her treat, and went to my car and drove to my job. It wasn't until a half hour at work when I realized I had no bra on. Now fifteen years ago that would have been fine. It "ain't" so fine this year.... And to TOP it all off, all puns intended, it was cold out today. She here I was in sandals, no socks, no bra, and freezing nips showing their cute little sagging noses. Then I remembered the Ralph Lauren zip up sweatshirt in the car....YES<> YES! I never told anyone I went to work without my bra and don't ever intend to. I wonder if it's Freudian. I used to have dreams when I was a little girl that I would get to school and discover I forgot my underwear. Now that has to be Freudian. Just call me Fern when I mess up.

bcr8iv.blogspot.com/2008/03/go-braless-funny-...

Not the Guy From '59

Alright stop laughing! This is Prom or Homecoming or one of those Winter dances in High School. Yup, that is the second love of my life, Bob Puhlman. Check out that hair (mine I mean)........eeeewww, and pointy Madonna boobs. He sure was a hunk huh? I wonder where he is or do you think I don't know? duh, I know.

We had big plans, Bob Puhlman (notice the initials) and I. Interestingly enough, the "love of my life" was named Bob Phillips. (notice the initials B.P) Then I fell in love with a man named Bob Petersen. (notice the initials B.P) Maybe I should get a job with British Petroleum (notice the initials B.P) and forget about men, considering not one of those B.P. men are in this empty nest apt of mine. It's OK I already did, forget about men that is. And my son works for British Petroleum as an audio visualist that travels the world setting up their meetings. hummm. Considering I delve into numerology this makes total sense to me. NOT! I just think I am the reincarnated Queen of Sheba and they are all my servants. Sure, ya right. Great thought tho. Hey where is that Pink and white lace dress? And where is that White Sports Coat and Pink, no White Carnation? Elvis... you were the best! As for the Bob's in my life....think I will run like hell from the next one, unless of course............................. LOL I retain that stupidity gene.

EMPTY NEST

She is in the womb! 1988

She is four years old and I am 46

She is sweet 17 here, two and a half years ago....

Now I know what the birds feel like when their little ones finally fly away.... After sitting on them for what seems like forever, then having to search for worms for what seems like forever, then teaching them to fly which I am sure was tedious and seemed like forever. Yet they go and do it again the next year. Well I am over that mess for sure. The doing it again next year deal that is. I did it again five times and then the eggs dried up before my mental "more child yearning" dried up, thank God. Four boys and one girl and at my age I would take four more boys vs raising another teenage girl. Don't worry she won't read this until she is really old and then she will understand anyway.
Yup, she moved out. The last of the litter has left the building and now I remember what the word Peace means. It means quiet, restful, no unnecessary drama or action of any kind, the sound of crickets, a clean floor in the spare room, a clean bathroom, and Oh God a spare room! No toothpaste with no cap, or anything with lids left off.....I don't care if I am out of Milk, I am allergic to that crap anyway. I don't care if I am out of cereal or white bread cause I don't like that either. Oh and she took Sophie the kitten. I couldn't figure out why my dog was depressed, or why my cat was acting strange. Why I had to scoop litter twice a day and my furniture was being used to sharpen Sophie's claws/nails. I was also being attacked on my head at 3:00a.m. I love animals but come on.....I had a zoo going on here and a depressed dog. I wasn't far behind the dog in that department myself. It has been two days out and the home front animals are back to normal......doggie depression gone because no little kitty jumping on her back and eating her food and stealing her sleeping place in bed next to me. Lucy the cat has like made a huge turn around also. She got her food dish back, her cat tree back, her bed back, her toilet box back, her sanity back, and her lovely nature back. That is animal peace I say. Come to think of it my daughter and her kitten Sophie are quite a bit alike... They will enjoy one another's company at the new apartment I am sure.

So what is the biggy about empty nest syndrome? I had that four years ago when the last boy left and the fifteen year old day care business shut down and the two Foster Children left. This is a piece of cake compared to that. I am loving the nest all empti-fied. I don't even have to have the TV on so I cant hear her complaining about needing some new name brand clothes or a trip on Spring Break, or why I was watching that show or listening to that music or wearing those clothes, or why I didn't I do this or that. I can hear the crickets singing its so quiet in my little empty nest two days out.... Please let it stay this way Universe, it's my first time!