Overcooked Ice-box by Diane Ogden

Hey, I di-ent do it!  Well maybe I did, but I di-ent know it! I woke up this day always thinking it will be a new and wonderful experience...and then I opened the freezer, only it was already opened.  What the frack?  I saw millions of little white icicles all over everything within my eyeball view. This photo does not show the millions, it only shows the hundreds. Take my word for it there were millions...  So I "Shietcanned" (not as in making preserves from grapes) most of the fishies and  anything else that felt soft and was edged in frosty-icicle edgings... It was a pretty site until I thought about it....it cost cash flow to forget to close the freezer. But did I really forget or did something else get in the way. Obviously.  I wish I had know what to blame so I could have thrown its sorry ars, meaning ass into the garbage bag FIRST.  It deserved the ultimate FIRST Place.  But I had no idea, so I threw it all away vs the sickness it could cause my already tired from working too much body!  Say la vie, or Sa la vi, you get it....I'm outta here for today. And my Good News is:  I am still upright and thanking someone for it! 

The Slut......by Diane Ogden

OK so I was at some one's home today, talking with my client, a young woman with two children getting them ready to go to the park.....

I had those darn pesky birds on my mind because I had just spoken to the office manager regarding losing them from my porch. You see, everyone else has flowers and I have poop.  Bird Poop! To quote my neighbor, the nickname of my porch is "Shit Island!"  How disgusting.  I prefer flowers but I was giving the little furry feathered family time to grow and fly away...  they did and then the little slut layed more eggs before I even barely noticed and here we go again.  I cant go outside on my porch and read, think, have coffee, plant flowers etc.  My dog and I get attacked, and my cats drive the birds crazy! They wake me up at four-ish a.m. too.  I did some research on the swallows and discovered they mate forever. Heck they are better at mating then humans!  And here I am going to kill their family and cause stress and emotional distress among their life path. omg.  But come on...they moved into my territory like squatters with no rights. I tried!  Then I got pissed.  Let me add that the maintenance man was kind after my final decision. Or maybe because I told him an old legend says if you kill a barn swallow a child family member will die. NOT! My Dad, who is 86 did tell me tonight that if you allow the swallows to nest you will never have a house or barn fire.  Oh great, now that thought will consume me brain waves forever.  Back to the maintenance man......He moved the nest to the closest tree.  He then waited two hours before he stapled screen onto the rafters which gave no opening for any more swallows or any sort of bird or bee to bother me in my tiny little earth space.  The birds have since left the building...my part of it anyway.
The Good News is:   The birds stayed so darn long that all flowers are on sale now!  And...no birds died in the making of this mini documentary blog about my porch.  Wait, back to my initial point of which I do veer from on occasion and this being one of those.   My clients young boy was standing out of my site when I informed my client that "The Slut" was about to be moved to a tree!  OMG, I used the word slut in front of a 6-7 year old. Yes I apologized....but later in the day I had these visions of this sweet child seeing a bird on his Grandpa's porch and saying, "Look Grandpa, there's a slut!"  That is of course after he asked his Mother, "Mom, what is a slut?"   And she responded with, "Oh that is a bird making a nest on Diane's porch."  (Well how could she tell him anything otherwise duh!)

Mother's Day 2011 ....Card from Son #3 by Diane Ogden

I usually write about the odd and sometimes funny things that happen to me on a daily basis but this time I am sharing a beautiful and touching card from the third of my four sons that I rec'd this past Mother's Day.  I put it on the wall by the door where I can see it every day when I leave for work in this crazy world. Everyone should have a son like this who doesn't forget how important Mother's day is to all Mother's everywhere......

    " LOL, Well the hell with everything huh! Mostly everything is in the crapper right now but keep your
head on right and as low as the lowest point is the highest point will come soon after and boy will it be wonderful.  I love you with every cell in my body.  You have made an amazing man outta a crazy little boy rolling around on the kitchen floor with his pants down....wait, I still do that so never mind  about the rollin around with the pants down.  I wish I was there more but we all have our path and we must stick to it, so we can really want to help the ones we love.  Soon there will be a check in here (card) for $1,000,000 big ones. : )   Keep goin and stick to your guns, you made it this far. Love You and See you Soon! "  Signed Cody Ogden

Isn't he something?   So the Happy News for today is that everyone should be as lucky as I am to have such a son!  I have three other great ones but they don't write me words like this one does.  There should be a Happy Son Day! I like that. P.S. The million is good too....

Burndt Breakfast! by Diane Ogden

 This WAS the syrup I was attempting to warm before I poured it on my hurry-up-bisquick-pancake this morning.  I am truly surprised no one in the building called the big red trucks because everything smells like four large bags of cotton candy went down in my microwave.  Little does anyone smelling this know that is was a half of this tiny dixie cup.....  Now tell me if this is where a person says "My cup is half full or empty all gone?"  All I know is febreeze may not be able to cure this burndt sugar smell on everything in my home. I am now re-thinking consuming low-sugar Aunt Jemima Syrup ever again!  It looks like freeze dried dog poop!

Harry and I Rode on Edgar today! by Diane Ogden

Today was my day to be at Esther's house.  She was not home but she told me not to worry, she informed "Harry," her special dog friend that I was coming.  And indeed when I opened the door Harry was barking his ars off.  I said, "Hey, Esther told you I was coming, it's me DianeO!  Harry knew me and came flying down the stairs.  Harry didn't know that I ride "Edgar," (the electronic chair on a rail) up the stairs when I come to visit Esther.  So as usual I climbed into the electonic Edgar chair for my uphill ride when suddenly Harry jumps in my lap!  Oh yes I was shocked.  Not only is Harry heavy, but Harry likes to kiss every one's faces including mine. eeww.  While Harry and I are playing fair ride for doggies Esther is on a new drama mission with her condo ass'es (association) and the local detective's due to her and the colonel's neighbor.  He is an odd fellow who apparently does not like to take out his garbage for about a year.  The Colonel and Esther live in a real nice upscale condo with a downscale neighbor for sure.  There is oowwie goowie gunk running out from under his garage door which is directly adjacent to Esther's side of the garage!  Esther is having several hissie fits per day at present regarding the gunk.  Me, I don't live there so I am fine thank you.  The Colonel on the other hand thinks there may be several sorts of critters in the walls.  Oh my dear God, that did it for me....I will return when this is all taken care of.  At present there is an all points nationwide bulletin out for the fellow that used to live there until the stink sent him running somewhere else.  We hear tell he quit taking his meds a few months ago.  Poor soul.  The happy news for today is that I don't live there, Esther does!  Too bad so sad.  P.S. The Colonel went to his cave den to deal.  Esther went to bed with her dog. I got on "Edgar" and rode myself outta there.

Esther and Her Bears..... by Diane Ogden

Esther loves teddy bears.  Teddy bears of all shapes, sizes, and colors.  I would not be exaggerating if I said she has five hundred, yes FIVE HUNDRED plus bears in her and The Colonel's home.  And all about   her precious car windows.  She uses those only in times of need such as if her Grand daughter is sassy Esther drives to Grand's friends houses and up in front of her school with the stuffed babies in back of Buick!  Embarrassing!  That's the idea!  Back to the bears.  She wanted to name her daughters Yogi, Smokey, and BooBoo but the Colonel put his foot down hard on that one.  Sometimes I think Esther just wants to be a little girl again.  Why not.  There are
bears in her bedroom, her bathroom, her laundry room, her kitchen, her den, her porch, and the loft. There are NO BEARS in The Colonel's den room.  (Cave!)  Some people collect porcelain dolls, some marbles, some bottles, coins, baskets, and some little old ladies collect CATS!!  Thank God Esther only had five hundred plus bears.  What can it hurt.  Only the children and the grands when Esther decides to embarrass them with her imaginative vehicle bear display.  They deserve it for sure.
artcar.blogspot.com (photo of vehicle from)

Esther and The Colonel have 'the talk' by Diane Ogden

As you know from the previous posts Esther had her magnanimously expensive jewelry party.  She survived her shaking syndrome ladder cleaning Christmas light experience and prepared yogurt mixed with lite cool whip along with a fruit plate.  Esther doesn't cook she just lays things out like that and that is the real Esther meal deal. Or party snack, either way.  The Colonel does the grocery shopping so he can keep site on the outgo grocery cash flow.  He got upset the other day because Esther leaves a "night light" on near the steps.  Leaving it on would make sense so as not to fall. Not to The Colonel. "Costs too much, turn it off!"  Esther shakes her head as she walks away ignoring his cheap remarks.  So the party begins.  Her daughters and one Grand arrive.  All are looking through the magnanimously expensive jewel books.  Each in her own time says, "Ma, can you buy me this? Ma, can you buy me that?" Then the Grand says, "Grandmother, will you get me those and that too?"  Esther very pleasantly smiles all the time thinking, "Lord, I have died and gone to hell," and turns toward the yogurt whip, places a large piece of dunked fruit into it and fills her mouth conveniently so she doesn't have to answer ghoulish children.  Then Esther licks the lid of the cool whip. That way it never spills over onto her large chest because of  her shaking disorder. As I said in previous post, Esther shakes and spills everything liquid she tries to drink all over her tops.  She tries to coordinate lemon juice when she wears yellow and rosewater when she wears pink and so on. When I arrive at the party The Colonel is outside the garage with Esther's special dog Harry. He tells me its time for him to exit until much later.  So he and Harry take off for parts unknown.  Well Esther calls me today and informs me there will be "a talk" with The Colonel this evening because he went somewhere, she is certain he frequented a corner bar and left Harry in the car for over two hours.  Boy is there going to "a talk!" Cause The Colonel was popped when he got home.  He slither staggered past all those party women with what brain cells he had left and crawled into his cave den.   When Esther saw him staggering she headed for the closet to get "Hubert" the long handled fan duster for The Colonel's head!  But then she remembered she had guests!  That is why "the kill" didn't happen last night and "the talk" is probably happening tonight as I type/speak. O well this is why Esther gets what she wants!  So The Colonel can stagger.  But he staggered over the line this time cause he took Esther's precious Harry on his little sneaky drinking outing. Wrong move Colonel.

Esther needs Christmas Lites in June... by Diane Ogden

Yesterday Esther called to tell me she was having a jewelry party.  You know one of those overpriced to the moon money parties. Don't come without your money purse bag bank.  I told Esther I would come to her party.  (Just in cast no one else comes) Then she asked me where she could get some Christmas Lites. I obviously responded with WHY, it's June?  She explained how she finally after two years of waiting for the skinniest daughter to come help her, she would clean off the tops of her cupboards alone.  So out comes the ladder and up goes Esther.  Make a little mental note here that Esther has something called something...its a shaking syndrome.  No not Parkinson's, but she shakes like that unless she is lying down.  I told Esther to find herself a remote control bed so we could go places and the other plus is she wouldn't spill on herself anymore.  Orange drink, water, yogurt, various soda's all end up resting a top her large jugs that rest upon her chest.  Her boobs I mean.  The girl needs a bib and a de-boob job.  She would love that! We all excuse her spilling because while she is spilling she wears a four karat diamond, or is it a five karat diamond honking ring that The Colonel got her that way back when they were still "doin it."  (p.s. and liking  it)  Now she prefers to sleep with the dog.  In all good taste that is. Back to the Christmas Lites.  I said, "Esther, what are you going to do with Christmas Lites?"  She told me they were going on top of her cupboards in the red berry baskets cause the old ones burned out.  I told her ACE Hardware has everything, go there.  You have to picture Esther on a ladder, shaking, in her kitchen, cleaning her Christmas lights and baskets for her overpriced jewelry party while The Colonel is probably in his closet drinking to forget or maybe to remember. Whichever, he is quiet for a moment.  And that is always good.

photo borrowed from http://hiddenmahala.blogspot.com/

Away in a Manger Vedging on the edge! by Diane Ogden

This would be my dog Gracie Allen!  I was walking to the kitchen when whalla I looked down and there she was laying upside down on the Sheepskin Rug that lays over the edge of my sofa.  I grabbed the camera! And then the words I associated this picture with came to me.  No blasphemy intended of course. Cause God has a sense of humor!  Where'd ya think I got mine from.

Away in a manger, no crib for her bed
The little Lord Gracie laid down her sweet head
The stars in the outside looked down where she lay
The little Lord Gracie asleep on the sheep

The cattle are lowing, little Gracie awakes,
But little Lord Gracie no crying she makes.
I love Thee, Lord Jesus, look down from the sky
And stay by my Gracie till morning is nigh.

Be near her, Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay
Close by her forever, and love her, I pray.
Bless all the dear doggies in thy tender care,
And take them to heaven, to live with Thee there.

The Colonel Came Through..... by Diane Ogden

Well "hot damn" if the Colonel didn't come through for Esther.  If you recall from a previous blogpost called "Is That a Burqa in Your Pocket?"  I was describing my friend's retired colonel husband in detail. Well not total detail, but detail non the less.  He watches every penny, drinks from a hidden bottle in his closet and I don't mean a little one, I am talking where the H does a person buy one of those five gallon jugs of high dollar (he doesn't skimp on himself) Brandy that make you fall down and break your crown all over the rug.  Personally I do not know where one would purchase such a thing except a paint store.  I don't drink brandy to excess. I drink other things to excess.  No I don't it just sounded good right there in that spot.
What's my point?  The Colonel took Esther to the car dealership and ordered Esther a car.  He told her he would get her a basic car she could drive from point A to point B.  Esther wondered if that would include a radio and a windshield??   Esther is a fairly quiet woman but this wasn't going to do in her mind. She raised her voice to the Colonel and said, You've got to be kidding! Do you recall my first car was a Corvette and if you think at this wise age I am going to start driving a BASIC car you are out of your mind!"  At that point The Colonel decided it would be in his best interest to order one of those new fancy Volkswagen's. The Cc.  Yup, moon roof and all.  Why she thought she had died and gone to heaven.  Me, I asked her what she did to get that?  "Did you have to sleep with him after all these years?"  She said, "No."  I said, "Well then you must have blown on it as he walked past you!"  Esther laughed herself silly on that one.  She said he just did it.  Humm. I smell a turd here Esther.
Later that evening The Colonel is standing in the kitchen and Esther is sitting on the sofa.  The Colonel sternly says, "So how much money will you be putting toward this car payment?"  Esther's jaw dropped as all she gets is a small social security check.  Personally I believe that when The Colonel looks at Esther he sees that darn burqa Esther did not answer The Colonel so he said it again with more vigor or should I say more asshole showing.  Pardon the language but boy does it fit right in here.  He then threatened to cancel the car order.  But I told Esther no way would he do that because many of his buddies work there and he would look like he wore the burqa.  We call The Colonel Archie bunker...  Really he could be his twin!!
Stay tuned to hear more about The Colonel and Esther.  You haven't heard anything yet.....

(p.s. a burqa to me represents being seen and not heard, nothing against religions of course)
photo compliments of Omar Sharif

It's Junuary!....... by Diane Ogden

I heard that phrase Junuary on TV the other day and possibly we need to change the spelling of June for real.  Two weeks ago we had freeze warnings for two nights in a row.  Last week it was over 100 and humid two days in a row. And this week I have my heater on under my desk!  That would be today June 12th, 2011.  What the flip is going on? Is Al Gore right about climate change or was that just his was of hiding his personal climate change issues?  (He sure did disappear didn't he?)  Some new trend? We all know the world lives by trends. I do wonder who is the trender maker. Greenspan used to make the trendy calls regarding $$.....so who is it now? No body, because there "aint" so much cash flow to make calls on.  Maybe I will bake cookies and forget it....the sun is out and the heaters off.  The birds are singing and the good news is I am still upright!    

Bag Lady Day Extra-Ordinaire.....by Diane Ogden

OK, so this is a bad picture of me! No make-up, double chin that really isn't there, bad hair day, looking fat which of course I am not! Do I look fat? I didn't think so!  My neighbor caught me donig the bag lady look in our underground parking.   It appears as though I have been to the trash room, dumpster diving and am now heading off to my cardboard heaven, haven for a restful freezing wet evening of slumber with me dog. Not! Actually I woke up this morning feeling a tad under the weather. I put the dog and her travel bed (a bed on stilts so she can see all) into the car, put some comefy sweats on, could'nt find the makeup case and said, "screw it" and left for garage sales with my trusty little red money bag.  I spent $20 and you wouldn't beleive what my treasures are......  Most of it baby clothes and toys for the new Grand.  But a little corner of this table is for mwah.  The coolest sofa pillow, a small satin clutch purse I will display somewhere, a fabric covered photo frame to match the pillow and clutch and a kitchen rug with fruit all about it.  Classy fruit, not a cheapy bright display.  Then one lady offered another entire bag of clothes and baby items FREE and not pictured as her sale was ended.  I hit it big even though I look like the bag lady extra-ordinaire after my long shopping spree.

I Met Someone Special Today....by Diane Ogden

I walked into this person's home and suddenly felt as though I was in a capsule from another time.  It was a combination of Medieval, Mediterranean, Asian, American Antique, a dash of Hippie, and one quarter cup of class. Well maybe three quarters cup of class +.  I knew that I knew this person from possibly another time in space or another dimension or that we merely have similar taste in life quality and spirituality.  As I walked meandered through each room I came across so many interesting items, too many to mention, but here are a few that enthralled my attention.

Such as many different types of bird feathers being displayed in antique bottles. I believe them to carrry messages and also good luck.  At one point this person felt compelled to tell me the story behind the feathers in the bottles. My new acquaintance had lived in a very large metropolitan area when one day a feather fell from the sky upon her physical being.  That feather was on a mission and my client somehow received it and kept it.  Every day for one year a feather fell from the sky directly to her.  She suspects it was telling her to fly away.  So she did.  To my city where she has now blessed me just by knowing and meeting her.  Now as we toured the home, we entered her bedroom where displayed on each dresser top is jewelry from a time past yet every so present, each piece exhuming its time and presence in the room it continues to live through.  I got it!  I felt it!  Grandmothers necklace was living in a closed glass container.  Reminded me of Jennie in a bottle.  Had I lifted the lid I would have been granted at least one wish by the dear old woman.  I did lift the lid and I suspect I will be granted that wish.  As I followed the owner of this quaint and lovely warm inviting home, I saw at every turn myself and a taste for the life I "wish" I would have honored with more intelligence vs only to find myself without those dear meaningful earthly possessions that most work and acquire to then enjoy. Oh not to say I have nothing.  So as we walk further  into the modern stainless steel kitchen I see a sitting area adjacent to the table where the entire outside wall is of glass windows.  And beyond the wall is a medium size yard that looks like the fairies would have a smashing good time there!  No fairies today....instead an odd number of three little gophers and two squirrels.  One Squirrel being blind in one eye therefore cocking her head to the side as she strolled up to the window.  On the sill are four jars full of peanuts for the critters.  The special person I met today opened the  window and placed a handful of peanuts on the ground.  The ground was level with the base of the kitchen windows should you be picturing this precious 8 x 10 pictorial scene.  These little animals came directly to the sill area with no fear what so ever.  She dropped a handful of peanuts and they graciously ran off with every morsel.  It reminded me of how we are all so connected yet most do not take the time to connect to each other or much "less" an animal of the wild.

Let me add how wonderful I thought the fireplace wall in the living room represented her life.....the wall is Aqua.  Most would not paint their hearth area aqua. In fact the painter asked her if she was sure about this?  She was.  This being because she allows her spirit to lead her and guide her, not the social pallet of her neighbors or anyone else.  The cast iron duck that sits near a tiny antique child's chair, the antique mirrors and paintings, flowerbeds free of weeds cascading down a picture perfect front yard, beautiful woven rugs rolled and placed at the head of the guest bed rather than packing them away.  I could certainly go on and on as you can tell....  just know that today was a good day because I met this person who was able to share part of her life with me.  I believe because she knew that I knew her spirit.  Some days we are just just flippin blessed! Actually every day if you look at what is put before you, even if its "just a feather!" It might make or help you fly to where you are supposed to be........Thanks Karla Knoz !

The Toe Truck and Singing MaMa.....by Diane Ogden

I sure wish this was my idea!  Best I have had was little Green Cars with mops for antenna's for a Green Cleaning Company.  Oh and zillions of daisies painted all over the cars.  Daisy's are clean and fresh I suppose that would be why I chose that particular flower.  Who cares....  back to point.

I am not sure why there is a row of port o poddies sitting in the background of the cutsie Toe Trucks but there they are.  Maybe the Toe Trucks haul around butt shelters?? From one end to the other I would say...  I don't think so but then I didn't do my research.  I happened to get home in time to see Howie Mandel drive up to America's Got Talent in one of those Toe Trucks.  And I knew that was something right up my alley.  That would be the alley in back of my house.  Kidding, I don't live in a house by an alley.

Maybe I will invent the Nail Truck.... or copy the Toe Truck and go around doing house call "Nail jobs"...  look out now its going to get deep in here if I don't stop....  The other truck I saw in my "head" would not be legal or proper.  I cannot help where my head goes sometimes.  My mind thinks by association, therefore I sing by association.  For instance when I see my clients dog named Benny....I start singing "Benny and the Jets" for hours and hours until I get over it or find another association. I work with a girl named Maria which means I hate the song Maria from West Side Story!  I have sung it to death. An ambulance passes me and don't ya know I start singing "Teen Angel, Can You Hear Me, Teen Angel Can You See-ee Me.... Then if I see a hot guy who might be (is) much younger than myself, it reminds me of an old love and I start singing all those ballads Taylor Swift sings right on into the night. Sometimes I wake up at three a.m. and darned if the song doesn't try to get me again. Once I watched the movie Walk the Line and I sang that song for a week. If any of them come on the radio I quickly change stations.  I have no control over the noise in my head.  That is why I know I was Steven Tyler's twin sister in a past life.  I rhyme things too. But I don't do drugs. I was not Howie Mandel's anything in a past life. Back to my point! And the price of gas is not conducive to making house calls for any reason.  I did hear some doctors were starting to do that again....


Soo, lets hope I don't end up driving a Toe Truck around town singing Maria and Teen Angel and Walk the  Line dressed like Steven Tyler.  Humm, might just be a very happy good time!

The Polygamist Wife Hairdo....by Diane Ogden

When the news offers a story regarding the Mormon beliefs on men marrying more than one woman and shows the photos of the many wives, they all have their hair pulled back and UP!  I have had so many bad hair cuts the past few years that I now just pull it back and apologize to myself for looking like a polygamist wife. Polygamy means to "marry often" which I have done also...just not all at once.
Maybe that would have been easier.  One big mess vs three drawn out messes.  Regardless, this is the first time my hair has ever and I mean EVER looked polygamied, polygafied, polygamurdered, and so on.  Every morning when I attempt to fix it before leaving the house I say and do things as unbecoming as my hair cut, to the mirror.
I mean any dummie wouldn't cut hair like this second photo shows it was cut!!
Nasty.

I have since decided to cut it myself.  I let it grow and then snip...let it grow and snip.  Finally it will get there without help from some snot nose young person or even a seasoned tech (which I paid dearly for)  both of which gave me a reversed mullet.  Whaaaattt?  Whyyyy?  I am not a twenty something who likes the new chop cuts.  And I informed the cutter of this.  To not avail.  I also call this cut, "The Dog Ears."  Flops hanging down on the sides and then longer pieces underneath.  See why I am not slowly snipping my own hair? 
I had it almost grown out from the last one (took two years) and then trusted a referral from a trusted friend. Whalla, I lost my 6 inch pony tail and was right (fright) back to the reversed mullet as below.  That is all they know how to cut.  I took pictures in, told them I was not a dog in case they couldn't tell.  And that I knew I was older and wasn't expecting plastic hair surgery.  Just wanted a precision cut not a chop cut or dog ear cut.  They all have a new disease called, "I cant hear you!"  Snip Snip and never go back. Frustration = polygamist hair doo!

It'll be ok..... Because I am not one of several wives.  Thank God cause if I were I wouldn't get any attention with this cut.  Or maybe I would get more, who knows?  Not going there!

The Last Bundle by Diane Ogden

The last bundle will be delivered this weekend and I don't mean the last bundle of joy!  I am referring to the last heavy banded wad of recycled and recyclable newspapers.  The ones that carry news to the multitudes via my vehicle and skeletal bone and muscle mass to the masses...  How do you spell relief?  This is part of it!! Never having to park my car with two wheels on the curb so the city buses can get past me within inches of my rear view mirror! Never having to worry about packing too much weight into my one and only vehicle. Or fighting the crowds around the capital area when there's a marathon race or merely the Farmer's Market which draws in thousands of people who become obstacles like big orange barrels in your quest to the daily finish line.  Never having to go to a dark warehouse in the middle of downtown ALONE, without mace or pepper spray at 5 a.m.  And so on. Don't even ask me to sub, ever ever again.

I started delivering papers in 2004. Sometimes we don't get the relief we wish for as fast as we would prefer.  It has been similar to be married to newspapers.  They are messy and inky and heavy but there is a pay off.  I would say this is my seven year newspaper itch.  I wish to now have an affair with an otherwise way for a payoff.  I am divorcing the newspaper delivery life.  Thank God or not.  Simply meaning I am not so sure God had much to do with it in any way except delivering me from delivering any longer. 

I started this blog in 2007 at which time I was delivering newspapers, The Onion being one of them, out of an old warehouse in downtown Madison.  Before that I had a respected licensed day care in another city which I attempted to move to Madison.  But then similar to Jr. High bullies, some State Workers, of course women, decided to halt all necessary paperwork for my re-licensing.  Me, not being a fighting individual, moved on past it all.  The old "cant fight city hall" cliche ran through my head day and night and was right.  To make a sad story short, I lost everything.  One day someone offered me a paper route.  That meant I could eat again, so I took it.  I drove bundles through blizzards, rain storms, torrid heat, backaches, broken air conditioners, broken car heaters, and on and on.  The papers got me back on my feet, oddly after seven years I am hoping they don't take me off my feet. 

I am grateful to the bundles for the time they served.  That's all!  And I gladly pass them on to some other needy human with a sturdy axle.  No pun intended, of course it is......

I will be missed I am sure of this fact.  Because I told people they looked like a certain movie "star" at least once a day for seven years. There isn't any compliment higher,  given to a passerby unless they are homeless and you hand them a $20 dollar bill.  I was a mere newspaper "star" but the masses wont ever forget me.  My Grand daddy taught me how to make people remember me! Make THEM shine like a star.  Try it and I guarantee success and happiness all the way around.  That would be  my Happy News for the day.