Back to Gradeschool at Barnes and Noble

I stopped at Barnes and Noble bookstore the other day and came home with four wonderful books. One offers information regarding the tendencies my life will take from the day I was born. Another tells how to have a clean body using lemon juice, vinegar, salt, and so on. My favorite one is called "A Lifetime Burning" by Richard Quinney, about a family and the many "things" they acquired on the inside and outside, during one generation. Then to the checkout before I purchased Divas! And a couple other wonderful books. The line is long! I exercise my manners as I stand "in waiting." I am next but nothing is happening. Time passes...nothing is happening. I see one of several checkouts open so I turn to the woman behind me for strength and reassurance as to whether to proceed. She says, go! So I did! I cautiously walked the fifteen feet in slow motion with absolutely no confidence that what I was doing was alright. As I reflect on it now it is weird what happened. So I get to the open checkout and the lady looks at me, wavingly points her finger toward the line and says, "I will call on you when we am ready." Let me say I scampered right on back in line as the ten people looked on watching my second grade insecurities pop out all over the place. And the lady that urged me to walk on out there on my own had a look on her face I wish I could relay to you. She mouthed to me, "SORRY!" and then covered her mouth with her hand and made her eyes into big eeewwwws. I quietly stood there until called upon. That hasn't happened to me in many decades but it happened two days ago. Since then I have grown back up and consider myself over it all better now.

I Bit My Tongue....

And I don't mean I bit my tongue so I wouldn't speak anything that shouldn't be spoken. I really bit my tongue. Have you ever bit your tongue? I know this isn't up there with John Edwards sex tape or the national and world news but it's up there. I was driving from one client to another eating my turkey, ham, cheese, mayo, and mustard sandwich along with some Kosher Dill pickle with each bite! Yes I can drive and do that. What was tougher to do was to accidentally bite my tongue to the degree I considered (my mind considered, I didn't) passing out. I saw my life pass before me in 3-D IMAX, rushing, pouring, devouring, all the while (15 seconds) trying not to realize there was a red substance from the tongue mixing with the ham, turkey, cheese, mustard and pickle. Not to mention the pain. P A I N! The kind of pain that brings you to your knees, then the ground, then the lites out type pain. Now I take pain well, so know this was a dandy bite, not a Twilight Bite! Back to the real bite.....Rather than faint out, I stared at the road ahead with a gaze of intentional decision not to die from this pain, or bring harm to any other human being. I held my own for what seemed like infinity, well an hour anyway. Truth be told...The seconds passed, then a minute, then another. Going, going, gone? No I didn't die.... I, the pain, just became withstandable. That was worse than coffee burn the tongue, burn the throat, burn the esophagus going down! Yes worse. I am totally proud of myself for maintaining control of the vehicle...no one got killed.....I didn't see the big light. You know, God. No mid death experience of my Gramma Tillie in the rear view mirror, or Uncle Albert sittin next to me coaxing me either way, you know, up or down! Nope, none of that....so I am healing in the natural world with salt water mouth washes and meanwhile able to eat, but no catsup or hot sauce. The only diet that is acceptable is chocolate, Scotch, wedding cake, and more chocolate ....its soooo healing. Ever know anyone that kidded themselves? Me either. That picture is not me. Really.

Netflix

I guess I am just going to have to "break down", no no on the break down talk, rather I shall say, "come up to" joining the little red envelope comin and goin from my mailbox called Netflix. I just called them to ask some questions considering how I have been tricked twice lately by online crooks. I was happy to find out I can download as many movies as I want or have time for, for $8.99 a month. Heck I had to drive to the store, get out, lock my car, walk around looking at several thousand movie jackets, choosing, paying, back to car, unlock, drive home, watch movies and MAKE sure I drive back to the store, on time so I don't have to pay twice, then park, get out, lock the car, walk to the store, put the movies in the correct return slot, back to car, unlock, get in, drive home, park car, get out, lock it....up stairs....home. Now that's allot and I'm tired from even typing it to explain it. Which also solidifies my decision to order Netflix!!

Lucy

This is sweet Lucy...... She is about three years old now. She found me one day at the old farmette as I was looking for some things I had packed away and decided I couldn't live without. I'm sure there was some spiritual influence going on that pulled me there that day. I was standing by the shed talking to my Dad when she came running out of the field and wrapped herself around my legs in a figure eight over and over crying the entire time. A cry that was unmistakably beckoning someone to help her. She was emaciated. Dad said the other cats were unkind to her so she stayed up behind the shed all alone in the weeds. I found an old orange milk crate, put her in it on a towel, put a dirty old piece of plywood over the top and away we went for home. I gave her a huge piece of meat that she devoured. She never cried again all the way home. But she ate and ate and ate the rest of the day. We went to the vet who said she would be fine...that her ear had been clipped meaning she was a Ferrel. We suspected she was spade and left out in the country to fend for herself which did not happen well. After two days she pooped a log the size of Texas from all the overeating she had done. We did have quite the laugh over that one....
Lucy has been near me but not too close all these years. She will get into my lap now, for a few minutes is all. She sits on my computer desk, and just recently she sleeps in bed with Gracie and I. That is happiness. She has anxiety issues from whatever dreadful thing happened to her before she found me that cold day on the farm. I am very thankful that I have the ability/gift to hear from the spirit... although sometimes I hear from the bad spirit. One doesn't get the gift of only hearing from the good spirits. One, like me has to learn whose the good and whose the bad. Cant say that's been an easy road and cant say I didn't fall into several pits on my long life's journey.... its the good spirit that keeps me going. Finding Lucy's and Gracie's and whatever else might wonder onto my road. And God let them be of the good spirits only, for I believe I have met my life quota on the other kind. Thanks.

Sometimes it Really is the Little Things.......

Sometimes it really is the little things that count. That are most important. That touch our hearts at no monetary cost. Our hearts don't care about green paper money. Our brains seem to run that pavement down to dirt and then make a u-ey directly back to our hearts and try to run it/them down too. Imagine how strong the heart is to put up with all our brains do to it....not to mention our nerves, blood vessels, blood pressure, and on and on. I suspect when something good happens it just might heal the heart of the previous harassment it was subjected to on said negative train ride directly thru the center of it like Cupid's adversary shooting its dart....then the good comes as it always does like Spring after Winter. Like today my niece telling me, "I love you Aunt Diane." And like the client that gave me this little plug in Angel that hovers over my counter while I make my little four cups of coffee and my lunch every morning... and at night when I take my vitamins she sparkles like perfect magic fairy dust just for me. The two of us alone in the dark healing my heart....

Grand-Daddy's Dog Tags

I think Grand- Daddy should stand for the best! I think my Grandad had a good heart for the most part. But not really the best. He seemed to have a selfish mean streak about him...as well as a "my way or the highway" bit going on. I suppose that isn't so unusual for men of those days. He left my Grandmother and her five children to seek his fortune in another land called Texas. She ended up living in a chicken coop and an old box car heating bricks to stay warm... He found his fortune after many years, as well as another woman who turned out to be quite a prize for all of us. We called her Nana. She brought him back together with my Grandmother and his children. He was good to them monetarily but then his ole controlling deal stuck its ugly red horned head back out. He talked two of his daughters into "giving" or "loaning" their children to him saying he could raise them better considering his fortune. Well his fortune became their and everyone else's mis-fortune as one committed suicide and the other left everyone behind never to speak to family again for leaving him with such a tyrant as Grand-Father. Grand? When Grand-Father died and everyone met at his home after the funeral....my Nana's niece whom he didn't care for to put it mildly, offered a toast to him. As she stood there holding her glass up with at least and twenty people watching .....her glass "Shattered" right in her hand and no fat lady was singing a high pitch note neither nor!! That was him....had to have the last word even in death. So what's my point? Today I was going thru some old jewelry and what not's that I save for who knows what and I came upon his Army dog tags and his sun glasses he wore everywhere.....for years. I decided to clean them up and as doing so I noticed the ick on the nose pieces....yup old skin... so I took a knife and gently scraped the old "DEAD" (twilight zone music please) skin off the nose pieces. Believe me when I say I felt something strange. Like hello that is my Grandfathers skin falling into my stainless steel sink. And he died in the 1980's. I attempted and did maintain my composure during the exfoliation process and then sprayed everything with anti bacterial spray. I have to say that it just was a "funny" feeling going on. Shouldn't be...he'd dead, the skins dead.....no biggy. (Twilight zone music once again thank you!) I hope if one of my Grand-daughters (so far no boys) finds a pair of my glasses and a piece of my jewelry someday when I am passed out...(means dead and moved on) they can remember good things. That my heart was loving and I wasn't selfish, mean, or angry. The rich part will be OK to remember as soon as that happens. Maybe I should wear his glasses for a year of so....bring on the dough. But what if they bring on the mean selfish part? Oooh, maybe I will just put them back to bed in the jewel box where "all good things" are saved for something someday.... the end. p.s. He told me he rode with Ponco Via! Ya think?

Grand-daddy

The Dog on Top of the Tree...

I should have posted this closer to the other side of Christmas...but then it is now the other side of Christmas isn't it? So here it is.....one of my client's tree topper. I asked them politely not to pack it away until my next visit when I had my camera. Actually I had my camera along but it was 30 degrees below zero ....camera in car, me in house...not going outside for the camera to take a picture of the above cutie! My clients have two dogs, Lucy and Cricket...Lucy is an older Golden Retriever and Cricket is a Sheep Dog, you know the ones with the hair over their eyes...and she is a rescue dog who loves to bark. We are thankful her owners are very patient and loving. We all love Angels with the feelings of safety and protection they carry and extend to us... And I suspect and have read there are animals that help us from beyond our earthly dimensions. For instance, animals that have saved people from fires only to disappear suddenly. Humm, Touched by an Animal, sometimes same as Touched by an Angel! Hey remember Lassie. I will say I can BARELY remember Rin Tin Tin... Actually I cant remember him, only a few re-runs of a German Shephard named Rin Tin Tin. But I do remember Lassie. Benji, Old Yeller, Lady and the Tramp, Spuds, Shep, Astro, Spike, Toto, Marmaduke, Goofy, Chloe, Bulls Eye, Beethooven, The Shaggy Dog, Dino, Clifford, Scooby Doo, Marley, Bo, and on and on. I was truly touched by this little Doggie Angel Tree Topper.... as well as I thought it was funny, and wanted to share it. I have amazing wonderful memories of the dogs I have shared my life with.... Toucher, Poochie, Barney, Major, Daisy, and now Gracie. They enriched my life. But I am not sure I would put their head on top of my tree... or maybe I would.

The Chic Strap (s)

So, why do jocks get to call their "little" holder a "jock strap" when in reality it is a cup for the protection of their tender "little" doo da day" dealie (s)! We ladies on the other hand have lived thru unbelievable Bandeau issues. It is said that Howard Hughes initially invented the Chic Strap for Jane Russell for an old western movie. Yet I have also read that in 2000 BC, that is before Christ and Mary, that warrior Minoan women began wearing a cloth garments that shoved (omg like shoveled) their breasts upward. Who ever said they should be upward? The Greeks wore a bodice tied above the breasts, leaving them naked, but preventing them from moving while walking. Whalla the sports bra. Then in 4th Century AD, The Chemise appeared. It was like a tunic, or now called, I forget! In France women wore the Bandeau! Sort of a corset! YA THINK? Then came the gourgandine which I believe was similar to the guillotine, one for the head the other for the boobs. For sure. In 1889 came the first modern bra called the le bien-etre (the wellbeing) NOT! It was a two parter, upper supported the bosom with shoulder straps, the lower a corset type gear. Reminds me of a half a scuba diving outfit. By 1905 the upper half was being sold as a soutein-gorge (breast support). Whalla! Then in America, Mary Phelps Jacob was granted the first U.S. Patent for her brassier. Then....in 1922 came Ida Rosenthal, bless her boob covered heart! She and her hubbs changed the look of women's fashion with the Maidenform... oh I forgot one...the humorist Wallace Reyburn in the 1970's invented the new name "tit-sling." (God I hate that word, considering it is rendered (I love my puns) from teet, from the cow) Regardless what century you derive from...or even care about... I dislike the harness, just do. Why is it OK for men to just "hang around" their goods. Why cant my goods hang around? Jock straps, get outta here! The minute I get home I lose the Chic Strap! Literally lose it sometimes unable to find it in the a.m. before next days work. Don't worry I eventually find it... And I give in to the fact it has a social purpose.... then why does my auntie in the nurse home have to wear such gear? And why do "the girls" have to stand at attention? They aren't soldiers in training to save their and our lives. They are mamiliaries! Created to continue evolution...(I guess they do make life, or make life better huh?) You know, evolution, where girls feet are getting bigger, men are getting shorter, and every one's brains are not growing like the pictures of the aliens ....... so, we'll have big feet to run faster, from who we wont know as our brains are too small, but our boobs will be upright and tight fitted for the run. Not mine, because every day I take it off the minute I hit my front door. This time it ended up on the fridge....

p.s. Why don't men have such a harness to deal with daily?

I direved some of my information from Fun Trivia online.....not that I didn't know it already..

My "Markdown" Angel named Goodwill?

Today was a good day to stop in at the local Goodwill Store, which is exactly what I did. The sun was shining, my car was shining from a wash job at our local Octopus, so I decided to see what I could find shining at Goodwill. Look what I found! Organza with four of the most beautiful rhinestone buttons I have ever seen. Well at least for awhile anyway... And it cost me $3.99! The grey sweater is sooo soft, and then add those precious pearl buttons, which are my favorite jewelry anyway... $3.99. No kidding. Then the Liz Sport striped cotton blouse along side the light brown sweater and leather Anne Klein shoes. Each $3.99. I am so proud that I got five quality items for $21.07!! That was fun! But I still like the mall....and Ralph Lauren for sure....

Gracie Poddied on Someone's Carpet!!

My helper Maria and I were at the neighbors with Gracie Allen today. Maria called me into their bedroom and said, "There is a heart on the floor and I don't know where it came from!" So I hurried in there only to see Maria bending down touching it. She exclaimed, "It's wet!" I looked at her very wide eyed and said, "Oh my God, Gracie peed a heart!" Maria ran for paper towels and I said, "Wait," as I put my hand on her arm gracefully, "At least she peed with Love." And we both broke out into huge laughter...meantime Gracie is scampering off feeling much better having left her mark of love behind. I truly have never seen such a thing as this heart-mark left by a dog.

Today I saw a Weenie!

Today I saw a wiener. A real one! I was driving down Broadway on my way to a clients home when my eyes strayed to the right. I am a person that can drive and still see what is going on around me. That is not to say I can eat, talk on the phone, check my hair and makeup etc. But I do have excellent awareness of what is surrounding me. This little glance to the right turned into a longer look that I expected. There was a short balding man with a hip length blue jacket on that seemed to be doing something odd. Such as pulling it up with both his hands and exposing "something." I did the double take, which didn't really register in my brain until after the fact. Well it did but it didn't. Like did I really just see a man pull up his big winter coat so I personally could view a SMALL pink "thang" peering out of his pants like a very small cold pink thang. I started to laugh and speak out loud to my cars interior or whoever may be riding with me, in the spirit....I said, "What a stupid human being! Why if it were anything to look at I might have honked. But Lord sakes...a little pink wienie. I merged onto the highway trying to push the phone buttons on my new intricate smart phone. I thought to myself, "Should I call 9-1-1? Or a non emergency number?" Traffic was hectic, dangerous to be trying to find any number, so I dialed 9-1-1....only to get my cell phone carrier at 6-1-1. Oh Jeez, back to driving, dialing... I got 9-1-1. She said, "Where is your emergency?" I said, "Well, its not an emergency, but I'm in traffic so calling you was less dangerous, I am calling about a stupid human being who just exposed himself to me on Broadway, of which I followed with a description. I was pretty amazed at my memory of this mans description. (not including the pinkie) I called a few friends and we had a hoot about it. Then I stopped at my dog trainers to visit. She has a little black daschound named "Wiener" who jumped in my lap. I then looked at her and soberly said, "I saw a weenie today." And followed with my little tale (tail)... just kidding. Her eyes got really big and she said, "You mean you saw a real wienie?" I said, "Yup...and continued." When I was finished with my story, she calmy said, "Wow, today you saw and pink one and a black one!" (the dog)
I have been practicing the law of attraction using words. It started out with Thank God for Men.....now its Thank God for my man... But I didn't mean a stupid human being man...needless to say, with a little weenie.

Dinner for Breakfast

I cant do eggs and their umbilical attached cords for breakfast. Only in baked goods after total mixing of cords and yolk and protective gel is all combined and I cant see it or think about exactly where it came from. So feel free to evaluate that if you wish..."done care!" I prefer my Kashi dinners for breakfast. I get ample protein, total enjoyment from the spices and fun from the noodles. Of course I am bored and in need of stimulation. If spices and noodles do it for me, so be it for now. Only prob is I noticed this healthy little tray of fun and excitement has 45 grams of carbohydrates. Holy Cow Shitski! That is an entire days carbs for this old egg. The good? I ate it early so I can wear it off before its too late... get it? And I am totally satisfied. Oh brother what a sick inference that turned out to be. Eggs, morning, and satisfaction...hummm

Vermonation Relocation

Vermonation Relocation from their house to your mouse! What does this mean you say? Well I have another client who left me a note on Christmas along with a cute little gray mouse in a basket ornament! I wondered?? Then read the note. "Seems we have a mouse, or twenty! That is why the silverware is all on the counter." And by the way still is mid January. Last time I was there I inquired as to whether the meeces were gone now. She stated that one was gone... That they trapped it humanly in a little cagey poo and it had such a cute little face. I said, "Then what did you do, put it outside so it could find its way back in?" She said, "No, no...my husband put it in the car (omg let me live) and drove it over to Turville Park (by the lake) and set it free!" I laughed really out loud... I hope I didn't offend her, considering her and her hubbs are both shrink's. You know Psychiatrists. Wonder what the big books would say about this? That is one of her favorite phrases...close anyway. So..the way I see it is the silverware is still on the counter, there are many more cute little faces needing a ride to Turville Park, and Good God I hope they didn't freeze considering they lived inside for Heaven only knows how long! And should just one of those little cuties find its way near me I shall be on their sofa, face up, discussing it the following week. Not sure why, but I cant do meeces... just something squibbly about them..or could it be my Mother used to tell me they will go right up my pant leg. You don't tell someone with my imagination anything like that because it becomes a permanent part of my brain cells and their memory path forever. Author of title rthyme is P.S Bell of Tuxedo Printing, Madison, Wisconsin

Giving at a Young Age...This is Olivia

Ever since she was two years old, Olivia has wanted to be a veterinarian. She has not wavered from that choice. But at her seventh birthday party, she took things one step further. "She doesn't feel she needs any more things," said her Mom, Lita Napadensky. "Instead, she wanted to give to the School of Veterinary Medicine." In lieu of presents, Olivia asked her party guests to make a donation toward the purchase of the school's TomoTherapy unit. Or alternatively, to purchase dog or cat treats for animals that need to make frequent visits to the Veterinary Medial Teaching Hospital for cancer treatments, or coloring books and toys to occupy children who accompany their parents and pets on hospital visits... "What a caring thing to do!" exclaimed Dr. Ruthanne Chun, one of the oncologists at the school, when she heard what Olivia had done for the cause.
(above article from "On Call" U.W. School of Veterinary Medicine, November 2009 issue)

Olivia and her parents have been clients of mine for a long time. They lost their best friend Ben, a Golden Lab, to cancer in the past couple years. Olivia experienced this loss at an early age of five, long after her desire to be a veterinarian was heard by all. Ben is dearly missed by all who knew him. Since then the family adopted another friend named Amber, pictured above. Amber is an amazingly gently sweet spirited animal.

Olivia has a beautiful home and family unit. She was adopted as an infant into this family from another country where poverty was beyond what any of us might every imagine. I would say what a lucky young girl she is, but then I think we are all the lucky ones to have her in our country with such positive aspirations to help the helpless. Not even knowing she was one of those at one time herself. Certainly there are a heavenly host of Angels guiding this little one all the way.