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Sunday, April 25, 2010

Size Matters

Hey you can laugh, but it's true.. Size matters. The size of the golf course you choose to play on matters... The size of your golf clubs matters.....The size of your outfit matters.... The size of your body matters.... The size of your home matters..... the size of your mattress matters....... The size of your dentures matters.....or crowns either or....

The size of your car or truck matters....... The size of your paycheck matters....The size of your rings matter....The size of your family, well that you can't do anything about so forget it.........The size of your (you know what and you know what's) matters....even though they say it doesnt!!! The size of your hat matters...The size of your Pizza matters.... The size of your pool matters.....your hot tub.....The size of your dog matters..... the size of your tires matters.....and the size of the jack that fixes them matters... The size of your love matters.....The size of your TV matters.....The size of your dress or shirt certainly matters.....The size of your sheets matters.......The size of your sofa matters........The size of your computer capacity matters....The size of your luggage matters.... The size of your tornado shelter matters....The size of your bladder matters.........The size of your mirror matters...The size of your Mall matters.... The size of your Mother matters....The size of your inhouse plants matters........The size of those Buck Antlers matters....The size of your fish and the story to go with it matters.....The size of your kitchen table matters, the size pan you use to cook eggs matters, the size of your shoe matters and the size of what you sit on matters, be that your chair or your ars! It Matters!  Matter is solid therefore matter matter's.  Maybe what society really means is if you cant do anything about your matter, such as the size of your foot, then it doesn't matter.

photo from: www.nakedpastor.com/archives/1926 

Territorial Rights...

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This is Lucy! One of my many rescue stories where I jump in the well to save someone or something and forget to throw the rope instead.  Rescue animals, children, "MEN," and friends, all come with extra problems.  I know this as a for sure deal because I personally have spent most of my life dealing with the aftermath of rescuing with no awards hangin' on my walls or standing on my selves or written on any pretty sidewalk.  What's my point?  If you every saw the movie "Something to Talk About," with Julia Roberts and Kyra Sedgewick, about a family rich and into horses, you would know exactly what my point is here....its all about "pissin on trees and being territorial." Her Daddy came home drunk one night and her Southern Mama along with the other sisters were in an upstairs bedroom watching out the window when he arrived...The Mama said, "Honey what's your Daddy doin out there?"  Kyra says, "Oh don't worry Mama, he's just out there being territorial pissin' on all the trees!"  Rescue men and rescue cats seem to lean toward this probability.  They must have a need to "show" someone or the world where they belong and/or what they feel they own for some psychological reason.  For me, there is NO EXCUSE! 
My Lucy, who has lived with me for over two years and had been fed .99 cent jars of Ham baby food every morning....and who has been coddled and loved  shown normalcy, taken to the vet when necessary, today peed on a pile of dirt on the floor.  Yup, she did.  She has never peed anywhere but her box...but today, after the Grand daughter visited and sat in her, Lucy's chair, and slept on her, Lucy's side of the bed, and just mixed with Lucy's schedule in general, I am guessing upset her.  Yes the cat has issues as I said!   So after the Grand daughter left, I went to putting things back in order, one being moving my desk chair back to the desk, over the top of an extension cord, through a narrow area, only to knock over the large Orchid and its contents to spill about.  I recall thinking to myself.....I better clean that up quickly before my "floppy minded cat" might pee in it.  Even tho she never has....the thought came to me ever so gently...you know those kind you barely hear and never listen to ....  I went about my business in the kitchen and then back to computer only to view Looney Lucy trying to cover up her piddle with not enough dirt.  Yes I shouted, "NNnnoooooo!"  Then I said, "Are you nuts?"  Even tho I already knew.  Go get the garbage can, paper towels and pizza cardboard to use as a mock dustpan for a liquid called pee!  I 'got r done... and said bad kitty many times.   How does one put out the word for a man, or a friend, (too late, children grown) who is emotionally sound, mentally balanced, and can live with someone who only knows rescue.  I should have gone to EMT school instead...and got paid for it.   Those people know how to throw a rope into a well!

My Executive Order $$$$$$$$$$.......... by Julianna Rowe

  My Executive Order J$$$$$$$$$$ .......by Julianna Rowe Somewhere along the way, politics changed my signature. I realize that sounds like ...