The Lady and her Bird

I shut down the lights and off-ed the RV, sorry I meant TV or did I? I was cold. I grabbed last nights T shirt but realized it was last nights so I threw it as far a one can throw a cotton shirt.....a few feet. Made me feel better or rather it didn't and inspired me to move towards the dresser I am contemplating selling because I sense I need new beginnings..... I pulled out the bottom drawer and took out the "brand new" mama jama's I purchased for the trip via flight I didn't take today... Whoa, emotions try to hide don't they? There I was in my bedroom standing next to the $900 Rice bed I bought when I worked for some wrinky dink nice furniture store years ago, that was hand made and sent via a ship across the waters just for muah! (Not sure what kind of non-gramatic sentence that was) So I unexpectedly find myself clutching these cutsie baby blue and white's- and also unexpectedly clutching one of the hand carved four posts of said bed whaa-ing!!! Talk about getting outside yourself. I did. I am watching me hang on to a piece of wood, holding cotton ....(that should have grounded me as its all Green and earthy but it didn't for a bit) and staring at the piece of art atop my fancy old fashioned four poster bed with no canopy that I want. Now I start talking to the bird in the damn picture over my bed. Oh my God!! Literally. I talked to him too, you know? God I mean, so don't get all high horse-y on me...I got all weepy about the poor birdie and all something about the Lady in the Rain look, or book....and missing the tall buildings of any downtown bigger then where I live. My dream. Hugging jama's and seeing big cities... doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this one out... two scotch and soda's on a downer day that "brought out" how I missed my boat...then I missed my plane too. LOL Laughing Out Loud is about all this is good for because I am tired and need to go to bed in that canopy-less piece of wood...from Europe.... considering I got woke up by a family member with ADD three times in the wee hours beginning of this fine day that I missed my flight to somewhere. Why if I hadn't, look what else I would have missed out on today. Life!

It's now tomorrow meaning today and ALSWELL....

Today I Did Not Fly

Today was the day I had a cancelled ticket to L.A. to visit my son.... But today I did not board that flight. Guess God's timing and mine were off again, but this time I paid for my mistake monetarily slash scarily. Try $800 worth of don't ever do that again without intense forethought and planning. Sometimes my head gets ahead of reality. Whichever it was it is for now. When I find a responsible human being to handle my business and a when I get more responsible to train my dog to be away from me more than a half a day, and someone responsible to watch her and the cat for a week, then I will board something to go somewhere. So today was a bus-y-ness day. You know the kind where you keep busy so as not to think. I rearranged small furniture, dusted, watched to see if the Tsunami was going to hit Hawaii where my other son was visiting, and did absolutely nothing much else....oh and by the way it did not hit Hawaii or anywhere else. It was a "Paper or Plastic Day!" Maybe tomorrow will be too....I am only allowing myself a two day vacation grief session... then back to normal life and a great attitude.

The Ghost of Regent Street

I was working alone at a clients home on Regent Street....There was a noticeable presence
in the room and that presence was behind me, to the point I would jump and turn to see who was there. Someone was looking at me so intently that the hair on my neck was standing up.
I tried to be reasonable. To say to myself, "Oh maybe its Tim's Mom checking to see how I am doing in her son's home." You see she passed on last year and her son and she were very close.
But this didn't feel like a friendly Mom you know? I couldn't think of anyone dead that didn't like me. Well, I didn't really think allot on that subject, but I sure knew something was in that house with me. Eeewww. I bet I turned around startled at least five times only to find nothing was there, that I could see anyway. Suddenly the two dogs that live there went nuts! Barking and running to the front door. Sometimes they bark at squirrels, mailmen, and this time I was hoping it wasn't ghosts. And this time I did go look....
Oh my God! There was a person walking to the front door and oh my God they reached for the handle to open the door. The dogs are going berzerko not to mention me! My mind said several things at once! Yes all at once! Now I know a person can see their life flash before them because I heard many instructions all at once! "Where's their phone. Get your phone. Get something to use as a weapon. Get a description.... Scare him...." and more. Then he ran away. I always leave the key in this particular door making it easy to lock when I leave. Today I didn't for some reason...A year of leaving the key in door and today I didn't. I wanted out of there soooo bad. I hurried to finish... opened the front door and four huge black crows came swooping over the house and driveway squawking like a band of bad boys...My thought was, OK whose going to die? Not sure where I heard crows and death went together but I did. I suspect I heard that old wives tale from my old relatives.
Did the ghost follow me out the door? Well if it did it was going to have to have lunch with me because that was next on the list. That is before I dropped a brand new roll of paper towels on the ground that rolled down the thirty foot inclined driveway and into the street. I should have taken a pic of that one... Crows screaming, a path of white paper what seemed a mile long and a lost unknown ghost somewhere on the property. Me...I was so outta there!

Heartstrings.....

My friend and mentor tells me to make my decisions by using my "gut." You know as in "gut instincts?" Well it stinks alright because what starts in my head ends up like scrambled eggs or Humpty Dumpty that cant get put back together again....Or like a big ball of unraveling string. And we are all learning or have learned that what we think is what we get. Oh great, now I can think about how I cant be put back together again like Humpty or Scrambled eggs. Actually some decisions if made incorrectly without following the "gut instinct" could have those not-s0-g00d consequences. Yikes...how to cut the ball of unraveling string that leads to the heart and causes heart strings, and those strings don't live too far from the poor "gut" that is trying to unravel the mess and come out with a clean answer.

Sometimes I don't do anything regarding a decision which allows life to make the decision for me...again, not-so-good I have found out through trial and error. How much error can the mind and body handle? Pretty much from my experience. Not that I wish to experience such again. Letting life make my journey vs mwah that is! So, is my gut half full or half empty? Ask me tomorrow.

photo from: http://www.mothermetaphor.com/

Simple Fun Numbers...

I play with the simple form of Numerology. No weegee boards or anything like that. Yes your right, I cant spell weegee correctly but that's alright. There is a number for every letter of the alphabet. There is a positive side and negative side to each number/letter. It is so interesting that God is 7 and devil is 7. See a good and bad side to each of "us." Your name is given you by your parents. Your date of birth by God or the Universe. There are two master numbers...11 and 22. If you have these in your numbers you will have either amazing success or dreadful.

For instance: Elvis adds up to a 22 total success and tragedy. Amanda Knox lifepath = 11 - tragedy. Here are a few more interesting life paths and power paths of people you may know:

Susan Boyle: Lifepath - 22

Hally Berry: Lifepath - 22

Frank Sinatra: Lifepth - 22

Charles Manson: Lifepath - 22

Hiedi Newfield - Lifepath - 22

CODY OGDEN - 11 Power number 11 Lifepath

Jenifer Anniston - 11 Power number 11 Lifepath

Amanda Knox - Lifepath - 11

Tim McGraw - Life path -11

LeAnn Rimes - Lifepath - 11

Faith Hill - Lifepath - 11

Blake Shelton - Lifepath 11

Dean Martin - Soul 22 -Lifepath -11

Kenny Rogers - Personality 11

Now I will give you people with 11 master numbers other than their lifepath but that will RULE and Pursue their lives for the better or worse whichever they choose:

Carrie Underwood - Power # = 11

Aneglina Jolie - Power # = 11

Betty White - Power # = 11

Buddy Holly - Power # = 11

June Carter Cash - Power = 11

Jimmy Durante - Personality = 11

Conway Twitty - Personality = 11

David Carradine - Attitude = 11 (it killed him)

Eddie Rabbitt - Attitude = 11

JoDee Messina - Power # = 11

George Clooney - Power # = 11

Priscilla Presley - Power # = 11

Rock Hudson - Power # =11

Priscilla Wagner-Presley - Personality # 11

Hugh Hefner - Power # = 11

Loretta Young = Personality 11, Power 11

Meredith Kercher - Personality and Soul = double 11's

Nicolas Cage - Personality and Soul = double 22's

Meryl Streep - Peronality = 22 Born on 22nd

Bill Blass - Born on 22nd Born in 22nd year

www.weblo.com/.../Jennifer_Aniston/398568/

Waterloo

Today I almost met my Waterloo. Not like Napoleon who surrendered, but then that alone would kill any man with a short guy complex don't cha know? Me, I was driving through a stop light that turned GREEN. Minding my own business moving ahead. Actually I was not being a defensive driver which I have been known to brag about. Not na more on the bragging concerning that subject anyway. Something made me turn my head to the left. Try a long squealing burning pitching sound coming directly at my drivers side car door. Closer and CLOSER! I could see the wrinkles on that woman's face! As well as her teeth, tongue, nose, and I think brown eyes! I shan't ever forget the look of HORROR on her face either. I was surprised at my calm. I just starred at her and kept going. Her car stopped as well as time, at the moment of possible, yet non -impact moment which was/would have been a direct hit at my door/body! I don't think I have side air bags. Nope pretty sure on that one. She flat ran that red light pure and simple. Just like paper or plastic. She did! I continued through the intersection leaving her sitting near the center of it alone and in horror. Me, I thought it was strange that my heart wasn't beating in my throat or that I wasn't shaking or crying or screaming. Then suddenly I felt my body get numb in various parts of it. The oddest thing I have ever felt. Fear was racing through my chest and limbs leaving in its tracks numbness. I never said a word, just kept driving to my clients home until it just went away.....just like that horror faced woman did. So... I almost met my Waterloo and surrendered my being to the next world.... but I didn't. Now its but a mere memory of an almost horrible crash where I might not have met my demise, rather could have been worse. So I will chose to forget this because it didn't happen. It only happened in her mind which was transferred to mine through her presence. p.s. I expect my Waterloo to be much easier than that anyway.

www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/jun/15/fear.s.

I am Going to L.A!

I have been saying this for two years....I say it to the clerks at the gas station when I buy one lotto ticket a week. I say it to friends, relatives, myself, my dog, my cat and the Universe and more. I used to think it was a joke that was my little secret even though no one else really knew I might not ever go. But I am going! I am going before everything is perfect...before I lose weight, before I get a face lift, before I get a new wardrobe, before I have tons of money saved, and before I don't ever get to go. You see I live in a fantasy world most of the time....that place where you believe your going to get all your dreams to come true even if you don't. For instance, I believe when I get to Los Angeles I will be discovered and be hired as an audience laugher...I always thought I could do that.... or maybe I will get the perfect live in Nanny Job in Beverly Hills... or maybe I will win something at the Ellen Degeneres Show...you know where they give things to the audience, like cars and camera's and such. I bet I get a walk on part in a big movie, or a talking commercial for sure. "Where's the Beef? (I know thats really old) Ok updated....I need them taken in, No out, No in, No out! Or..."How about a ten year long house-sitting job in a Penthouse overlooking the city. or...Could meet Jennifer Aniston while I am with my sons and she will go GA GA over one of them and marry one of them and have one baber child! Bet cha...they would be a perfect match. I hope the sales ladies on Rodeo Drive don't throw me out like they did Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman....I don't think I want to be a hooker tho....too late for that anyway. I am laughing with my dog at that one. Hey, I could meet a wonderful plastic surgeon and get all goo goo fixed and perty like way back when... Or like Joan Rivers. I could do my stand up routines that I practice in the car, in my apartment, in my shower, in my head. No, I am one of those that would have to drink just the right amount to get that one accomplished...and no one can drink just the right amount. Its always, either not enough or too much, so forget the stand up. Ok so I wont ever be a Meryl Streep, even tho I could have been (I know I know) but I turned left instead of right doi....Back to reality....I just want to spend time with my boys in L.A. and show my Grand daughter there is more to life than small towns, boys, and babies! She's gonna love L.A. I just know. Or not! Me, I will love L.A. and I will want to stay...I just know. Why? Cause "Ain't nothin goin on here!" It reminds me of the cemetery. So away we go Rose... (I call everyone Rose, including myself) Or Fred.