The Infamous Grainery

The infamous Grainery is a smaller square building at the old family farm. There is a basement that was used for many years as a Tobacco Stripping area. That means we used to strip each individual leaf off a tobacco plant stalk. Long tedious work. Dad would build a fire and stand for hours only to get several thousand dollars at the end of a long hard working year. That was the way of the old American Tobacco farms in Wisconsin. Just in case my family reads this someday I will tell you I wasn't so good at the long hard labor part of it. We moved from big city Austin Texas to little awful farm with bugs and no bathroom when I was a teen. So rebellion was my middle name. So enough of that for now. Back to the infamous Grainery that houses itself just outside the main house and fifteen feet from the main house garage. It has a nice white coat of paint on it and no broken windows. A solid floor, solid roof with no leaks and a new door that looks like it may have come from a church. And since the farm no longer raises tobacco it sat empty for many years besides Daniel (my eldest son's) car parts and old tires.....and Grandpa's two by fours, paints, old barn windows, solid wood doors, and fertilizers. Then one day I discovered it in all its un-glory. Anything I had left over went under its roof. Christmas decorations, Easter, Halloween, Winter clothes in Summer and vice verse. Beds the kids outgrew, old family albums, bins of all five's schoolwork and self portraits from Junior High. Their tech ed projects, my projects, toys, their first blankee's and stuffed animals. First dolls. Special clothes like Harley Leather Jacket and H.S. Footballs, and baseball bats from little league and boys little tin boxes with special prom boutaneers (sp)and girlfriend love letters. Canoe racing awards, ski's, snowboards, an old rocking chair, a new one. Family photos from years gone by never to be seen again except in the infamous grainery. Clothes I will never get into again but wont admit it! Plaques and gold statues from winning awards in the days of youthful vibrant sales. The Grainery is like one of those grand Grannie attics. Today I suggested to the old folks that we fix her up. We put some insulation and dry wall up....repair the chimney, sand the rustic wood floors, add a few plugs, paint and move on in. What a great place to rent out or have on hand should a family member be in need for whatever reason. Then we could move onto the barn and turn it into a novelty gift shop. That wont work, my Mother is a junk shop lover. Oh God! Forget the whole thing and leave it as is. The Infamous Grainery full of my life treasures. By the way I am not old, the Grainery is!Oh Crap I forgot there is not toilet in there, but the old outhouse stands right next to it with Sears Catalog sitting there just in case. This really is the original outhouse I am speaking of... and my son and I in front of THE GRAINERY in middle photo.

top photo from www.mainepuzzles.com/Images/Nostalgic-Jigsaw-Puzzles/6175

Michelle's Little Finger

It does not matter to me if you are Democrat or Republican. And it does not matter to me how you play "your" games to win. But it does matter to me who runs the country I was raised in and the country my ancestor's came to live in and stand by. Yet from all I have listened to, read, and watched...........Michelle has more class and intelligence and charisma in her little finger than what's her name from Alaska who wants to be seen as a Pit Bull and whose husband wants to be known as First Dude. Humm, The Pit Bull and First Dude.

I am so embarrassed at this lack of class and lack of honor and lack of honesty. No wonder we aren't number one anymore. Someone messed with the rules and when that



happens confusion sets in all around the board, in turn calling out every "good" wolf in sheep's clothing to make his/her own rules with no one paying enough attention to halt it or knowing how to. The wolf is big. Yet it is soooo simple. Do YOU want the Harvard Graduate who seems honest and trustworthy? And is half white which I never hear..........

Or the Old Man with his side-kick Pit Bull and her First Dude?
www.realpitbull.com

The Hospice Thrift Shop

This was a good day for me. I enjoy stopping off at the local Hospice Thrift Store knowing I will find something nice and of quality to satisfy my weekend buying bug. Usually it ends up being a nice shirt or piece of jewelry. I never expected to find this wonderful replica of an old wash basin. And it matches my Queen Anne Desk I am sitting at and Hutch my dear friend and Hospice patient, Miss Claire gave me before she passed. The key here is I bought this piece for next to nothing which much of the Hospice items go for. I have been trying to become a bit more modern like IKEA and Target...but it isn't happening. I seem to wander on back to the piece's with more personality vs black and square. I did pass up on a Stickley chair in 100% condition for $99. It just didn't have a home here. My next purchase will be a chair that goes with this desk I am sitting at when I am not working. I have a huge black office chair from Staples that is simply and totally out of whack in my home. Its OK, I will find exactly what is best with a little patience. At present I am working on a barn window from the farm I was raised on.....I painted it black and will be placing antique photos of our ancestors in each window pane. Along with the purchase of four "inexpensive" black frames to go on each side of the window. Don't worry I will blog it and photo it when I complete it. All I need do is make the trip 22 miles to said farm and get my stash of photo's out of the infamous Grainery. That's another blog!

I'll Never Tell...

I have a business called "A Green Experience," which means my clients choose to have their homes cleaned using all natural Green (cleaning) supplies. I have seen everything from "erp" and I don't mean Wyatt, in bathroom trash containers, to enough dog hair from one cleaning to make forty wigs. OK so four wigs. But I'll never tell. 

The other day one of my clients came to my daughter who works with me on occasion and asked her if she could clean the Green cleaner off his toilet seat after she cleans it with said Green cleaner.

She said, "Sure, but why?" He said, "Because I got stuck to it!"

I couldn't stop laughing because I wanted so badly to say, "No , its not the Green Cleaner, its that you sit too long sir!

You have stacks of magazines, crossword puzzles, and pens, heck it looks like an office next to the toilet. My Grandpa used to say, "Either sit there and think or sit there and stink." Sorry but he was an old Farmer and when I was just old enough to read I saw that written (a tad differently) on the outhouse wall.

There really was an old Sears Catalog in Pa's outhouse for the purpose of wiping. I used to crumple up the pages and rub them together to soften them for obvious reasons. I was 6 years old!! If you have never wiped with a piece of paper you have missed out on a piece of life. But then I have never used a leaf and I don't figure I have missed out on a darn thing.

OK so back to what I have seen. Sweat so thick on walking machines it is yellow and no I wont clean that up! I have seen closets I wouldn't let the cleaning lady see. Now I know why my friends always cleaned up before the cleaning lady came. I love it when I see a beautiful black flat stove top someone used like they were cooking over a campfire. And I am supposed to figure out how to get a quarter of an inch of black crust off it. But I'll never tell. How about teenagers rooms where you cant see the floor for the clothes and glasses of water and bowls and trash and SPIDERS. One of my clients tells me I forgot to dust off the top of the furnace regulator. Yet the inside of the closet looks like a trash bin. But I'll never tell. Once I even got fired for cleaning the cats water fountain which was not fit for carp... You have to laugh at that one.

Then there are those people who have been blessed financially but don't take care of what they were blessed with...I am speaking of the tangible items their money buys them. I am in awe of the number of shoes people have, the organic foods, the pottery and artwork, the remodeling, the closets bigger than my bedroom, the seven bathrooms, and so on, but I'll never tell. I don't mind, I get to people watch and that is one of my favorite pass times and I get paid for it. I keep in mind that I nurture a home and that is my job. Whatever they do with it beyond that I can only watch for the humor of it all.
Above Photo is not of me, duh. Don't you wish and so do I! And make a note this  bottom picture was a bad day after the toilet went over and down the steps! Cute socks huh?

I Forgot My Bra

Just call me "Fern."

The Stamp says, "Go Bra less.....it pulls the wrinkles out of your face!" That is if the girls weigh enough to make that happen. Obviously mine don't because I still got carded at the grocery store when all I wanted was a bottle of Scotch and some chocolate to finish out this day. When they try to card me I just point at the new addition of "JOWLS" on my face.... and I say, "Here is my date of birth dude teller person, and underneath all this is another mud slide."

OK back to the "I forgot my bra." I got up early this morning and threw on my clothes minus one cross your heart bra because it was take the dog out time, not cinch up your chest time . It was raining, so I grabbed the huge AFLAC umbrella and carried the dog out under her favorite poddie tree. She felt a few drops of that rain water and ran directly back to the door where she has deposited on poddie pads vs grass all day. Then I checked my emails, made my bag lunch, coffee, and put some makeup on.... Time passed quickly so I grabbed my purse, keys, gave the dog her treat, and went to my car and drove to my job. It wasn't until a half hour at work when I realized I had no bra on. Now fifteen years ago that would have been fine. It "ain't" so fine this year.... And to TOP it all off, all puns intended, it was cold out today. She here I was in sandals, no socks, no bra, and freezing nips showing their cute little sagging noses. Then I remembered the Ralph Lauren zip up sweatshirt in the car....YES<> YES! I never told anyone I went to work without my bra and don't ever intend to. I wonder if it's Freudian. I used to have dreams when I was a little girl that I would get to school and discover I forgot my underwear. Now that has to be Freudian. Just call me Fern when I mess up.

bcr8iv.blogspot.com/2008/03/go-braless-funny-...

Not the Guy From '59

Alright stop laughing! This is Prom or Homecoming or one of those Winter dances in High School. Yup, that is the second love of my life, Bob Puhlman. Check out that hair (mine I mean)........eeeewww, and pointy Madonna boobs. He sure was a hunk huh? I wonder where he is or do you think I don't know? duh, I know.

We had big plans, Bob Puhlman (notice the initials) and I. Interestingly enough, the "love of my life" was named Bob Phillips. (notice the initials B.P) Then I fell in love with a man named Bob Petersen. (notice the initials B.P) Maybe I should get a job with British Petroleum (notice the initials B.P) and forget about men, considering not one of those B.P. men are in this empty nest apt of mine. It's OK I already did, forget about men that is. And my son works for British Petroleum as an audio visualist that travels the world setting up their meetings. hummm. Considering I delve into numerology this makes total sense to me. NOT! I just think I am the reincarnated Queen of Sheba and they are all my servants. Sure, ya right. Great thought tho. Hey where is that Pink and white lace dress? And where is that White Sports Coat and Pink, no White Carnation? Elvis... you were the best! As for the Bob's in my life....think I will run like hell from the next one, unless of course............................. LOL I retain that stupidity gene.

EMPTY NEST

She is in the womb! 1988

She is four years old and I am 46

She is sweet 17 here, two and a half years ago....

Now I know what the birds feel like when their little ones finally fly away.... After sitting on them for what seems like forever, then having to search for worms for what seems like forever, then teaching them to fly which I am sure was tedious and seemed like forever. Yet they go and do it again the next year. Well I am over that mess for sure. The doing it again next year deal that is. I did it again five times and then the eggs dried up before my mental "more child yearning" dried up, thank God. Four boys and one girl and at my age I would take four more boys vs raising another teenage girl. Don't worry she won't read this until she is really old and then she will understand anyway.
Yup, she moved out. The last of the litter has left the building and now I remember what the word Peace means. It means quiet, restful, no unnecessary drama or action of any kind, the sound of crickets, a clean floor in the spare room, a clean bathroom, and Oh God a spare room! No toothpaste with no cap, or anything with lids left off.....I don't care if I am out of Milk, I am allergic to that crap anyway. I don't care if I am out of cereal or white bread cause I don't like that either. Oh and she took Sophie the kitten. I couldn't figure out why my dog was depressed, or why my cat was acting strange. Why I had to scoop litter twice a day and my furniture was being used to sharpen Sophie's claws/nails. I was also being attacked on my head at 3:00a.m. I love animals but come on.....I had a zoo going on here and a depressed dog. I wasn't far behind the dog in that department myself. It has been two days out and the home front animals are back to normal......doggie depression gone because no little kitty jumping on her back and eating her food and stealing her sleeping place in bed next to me. Lucy the cat has like made a huge turn around also. She got her food dish back, her cat tree back, her bed back, her toilet box back, her sanity back, and her lovely nature back. That is animal peace I say. Come to think of it my daughter and her kitten Sophie are quite a bit alike... They will enjoy one another's company at the new apartment I am sure.

So what is the biggy about empty nest syndrome? I had that four years ago when the last boy left and the fifteen year old day care business shut down and the two Foster Children left. This is a piece of cake compared to that. I am loving the nest all empti-fied. I don't even have to have the TV on so I cant hear her complaining about needing some new name brand clothes or a trip on Spring Break, or why I was watching that show or listening to that music or wearing those clothes, or why I didn't I do this or that. I can hear the crickets singing its so quiet in my little empty nest two days out.... Please let it stay this way Universe, it's my first time!