So I'm Behinder the Game of Blog

Its been a long weekend obviously......after the anticipated one on one dinner with my son at his fancy clubhouse, thirty children in an opposing room watching movies at a mere cost of a million per child and whose child do you think keeps running out into the dining area? Yup his! Out of thirty, wouldn't cha know my kin shows their butts. All in good humor of course. Then onto the bar where all of his thirty something successful friend couples, except the ones deer hunting, oh gasp!, are drinking and relaxing. They welcomed the old girl with open arms and gentle Happy Birthday's. Even a bottle of sparkling came across the generational divide..... And one dear soul of a lady in a doggie hat with one black ear and one white ear offered to find me a "hot man." Now this I wanna see, touch, carry on with and hope she wasn't too "with wine/beer/nonsense, to remember. Will definitely keep you posted on that one. Some discussed the economy and how advertising was down at his place of business, another the market.....but for the most part it was dirty talk. Well really... The dog lady asked me if I wanted to see her husband's penis. I had to think about that believe it or not... He kept ignoring her, probably because he has one of those proverbial flat tops that only coaches and men who hate change have. Yup a flat top at age thirty something. No not a jagged one, a real live flat top like those coaches on TV have, OR old men and I mean old. Back to his penis.....finally he bent his head down and there it was on the wrong end! No lie! He is balding on top his head in the shape of a penis and nards. Hilarious and I didn't get a picture. Better get in touch with him and ask for a picture of his penis. Alright time to get off that. All puns intended. It was when the dog lady informed my son she was going to get "his Mother" a hot man that he started flailing his arms around his head as to herd away those awful words that brought awful imaginations to mind...not! After that hullabaloo the wonderful young chef, Edwardo, came out to the bar to greet all the compliments regarding his talents. And there are many because he is quite the fellow with quite the job indeed. A fancy million dollar close knit neighborhood filled with wonderful, kind, humorous, people and children to prepare meals for in a peaceful beautiful golfing neighborhood setting on the countryside of farmlands in Wisconsin. Suddenly out of nowhere, well, the movie room, comes a pack of children.... two belonging to our table..one with a headache from being bopped in the eye and a need for sleep and crying. Well it was great while it lasted....now onto my lovely lemon to drive home at a reasonable deer hunting speed so as not to have one of those precious animals sitting on my face through the windshield! In Wisconsin that is a major concern this time of year and not one I wanted to top the evening off with. Dog lady was enough for one night. By the way my daughter in law was off doing her bowling league.... We missed her precense but it was very nice to have dinner with my son one on one...

Happy Birthday to Me

Most recent photo and I love roses!

(This is also the day John F. Kennede was assassinated...that happened on my 16th birthday.)
So this is the day I was born.... who wants to celebrate? Me, I do..... I will be having dinner with the only son that lives in the area. The others will call with love and good wishes. So happy happy day......glad you were born D! You have raised five children by yourself, loved three foster children, loved many children for fifteen years of in home day care, been a successful insurance agent in Texas and Oklahoma.....loved and been loved. But....never got to New York City to walk under the lights and look up in awe wishing I had just once lived there up high in one of those buildings with 200 floors......Never did want to fly across the ocean.... but still want two brother siblings to Foster and or adopt...... Still want a bit more life security..... And to live long enough to see and hug my son who lives in a small box in Prison and to leave him something to help him survive "out here." I never got to design that window at Macy's which probably was over my head anyway...wishful dreaming is sometimes fun.....And I must live long enough to see if my middle two sons, Chris and Cody, have children. I could never miss that and live on in peace here or beyond. And.... finish my book/books before I leave this earthy earth for the more peaceful life, one hopes anyway. And one more thing......a mini lift and new car would be marvelous. Happy B Day D!

Talking to the Dragonflies

Yes I can communicate with dragonflies and on occasion a dog, cat or horse even......and of course its a gift. A gift maybe anyone could have if they took some "time out." Do you ever remember getting a "time out?" It's where you have to sit quietly for longer than you want to. Communicating is the same thing only with deep concentration on the being before you.....whether a dragonfly or a horse. They have everything we do except a voice to speak words. I become one with them. Then I can let them know what I want from them and they let me know how they feel or I sense various other things. Not all the time because my human mind wanders off to thinking on earthly projects or a BLT on toast or cake....I like cake! Something dragonflies do not know about. My dragonfly experiences began several years ago when I was going to visit my son at a State Prison in Southern Illinois. I was taking his daughters to visit him for the first time. A very stressful situation indeed. We got there to the "twin towers" prison and parked the car.....took some deep breaths without letting on the degree of stress contained within the soul of the air being expelled from within me, to any of the girls. That is when my first dragonfly friend appeared to me hovering over the hood of my car for what seemed to be hours when in reality it was longer than one of them usually hovers. I heard that beautiful little creature tell me, "ALSWELL"(my trademark word) and all will be well, just go ahead on in." Then she flitted away like a real fairy from my childhood stories. I love fairies, humm. After that there have been many many instances of Dragonfly fairies, just because I want them to be fairies by the way, sent to lead me and guide me and shock me also... Once onne hovered a ways out from my windshield for several miles as I was traveling 60 mph. Now how did she/he do that? I was in such awe of this beyond belief hovering crafty bug! But she/he sure boosts my faith every time they come and play circus trapeze artists around me and everytime I need them they appear... and it always happens right when I need a sign or a lift. Once I had to do an awful job for a while....A job I disliked intensely and was embarrassed of. I was praying for something different and wondering if that would ever happen. (I know read The Secret again doi) Anyway, I had just gotten out of my car and two HUGE dragonflies come fluttering around my car and me over and over while mating. Circling me to the place it rather frightened me actually. Then they came right in front of my face and hovered there like an alien space ship....they just stayed.....then they escaped so fast, just like alien space ships do...ssshhhsshh gone! I called for them to come back because I knew my fear had sent them away...They came back and I was one with them at that moment, because nothing was there, nothing but me and the two dragonfly's...ONENESS. It only took seconds after I called to them that they were back and circling my car again....And hovering before me. I thanked them for showing me that their mating represented a "NEW LIFE" coming for ME! And well it did.....

I love my little friends and they seem to care for me from another dimension we can only touch base with on occasion when we get out of ourselves and out of this earthly dimension as well as acknowledging a oneness with their world. Now I need to find a wintertime bug to communicate with. ha. Let me add that I believe praying is similar to what I experience with my little buddies. Only, Angels are our BIG buddies.....maybe with much more power indeed. Think on this one?

www.fairycottage.co.uk/fairies/illustrators.htm

Your Life as a Ship

I was talking to God regarding a family dilemma, and asked God if he thought I could do "it." I sensed this: You have to decide if you will or will not. Not if you can. You know the answer to your situation. You merely said too much and thought too little. You created a crater for yourself and fell in it. Now you need a bulldozer to cover it up. Make your decision, look for guidance and carry on. This situation is not different, it has the same quirks, dysfunction, and attitude as many situations in life…many could learn that from you if you just make sure you don't react out of timing or emotions. You are the leader, the adult…don’t take bad energies from others. Give your good energies. You sometimes take on others energies and then blame them. You grow up and then everyone around you will. As for people who continually give you bad energy, disengage yourself. NOW! Just do one at a time. Too many make the ship sink. And if yours started sinking? Why? I will tell you where your responsibility starts and where it stops. You are the one that will go OVERBOARD…..Stay in the boat….move the mast as I tell you…steer in the direction of positive words and thoughts…and stay afloat. You don’t even need a life jacket then, because good thinking is your life jacket. Stop taking it off and throwing it away because it is uncomfortable….It is big enough to save you and all yours…People come to you without a life jacket…in fact many people with so many hooks in their hearts the pain makes them scream…you probably throw a few of your own at times and then others then throw them back at you….how can that battle be won…it cannot. There are other ships along side yours ….ignore those ships and steer your own. Why jump ship and leave yours unattended. Get yourself together and run your own ship. If there are those that wish to be a part of it, fine…doesn’t mean you have to connect with the other ships or boats as you have before. And you needn't allow them to connect to yours. Your choice. You are the captain of your ship….you better get control of it. Stop whining. Run your own ship no matter who comes in it or who leaves it. Your letting others run your ship! Sometimes your ship is like the weather…up and down. Yet,the steadier she goes, the better for all. Steady your ship for when the bigger wave comes, to get through it, you must be in control of the means to do it. If your ship is unsteady already how can it weather even a small storm. (If you show you can run a small ship wouldn’t you then be advanced to a bigger ship.) That is the way it goes. Floundering wont get you there. Make your decisions, stick to them…don’t let any on board that will sink your ship. Let those go….you are the authority, not the maid…. Some are abused because they cant speak up or run their ship and so on.... You are not a child as that. A child has not the capabilities to steer a ship, maintain a ship, keep her passengers in line, stay out of dangerous waters, make sure of the right amount of lifeboats . An emotional Captain can make errors. A Captain with good judgment and foresight of mind will always come out on TOP. Steady she goes…Diane….steady she goes…no matter who is on board…you are the captain, in love, until the day you bring her into port and greet me with your maps and books telling a story of a job well done.
Do not let the thirsty wait for a drink.
It is your weakness, not their inability that have put you in this spot. A weak man cant sing the song…
I am not being harsh, I am handing you a plate with the answers I know you can eat of. Do not eat weakness, rather sing your song. It is always there. I bring song to life as my sign of strength for you. You are a mighty woman…Act upon that. A mighty woman with a mighty ship. Of coarse I know you don’t like the water….remember this is my water, not the worlds. My parable to you for your life and ALL who enter it. Give them a ride on my ship…give them “Steady She Goes!” What better lesson could you offer. Get back on board there’s a ticket a waitin’ just for you and yours.
Do you think that was my dead Grandma talking to me, Maybe an Angel, or God, or ....... I dunno, but I heard it is what I do know.

cyberlog.wordpress.com/.../16/a-ship-at-harbour/

Whose in My House

This is one of those nights! It is 2:34 a.m. which stands for insane o'clock and I am awake and have been for an hour. I heard everything from someone trying to break in the door quietly to someone outside the window to shadows here and there. Even the dog sat up once to check out our para normal activities. I had us kidnapped, begging not to leave the dog alone. I ducked to miss a blow in the head (like I can move that fast) then kicked the intruder in the doo da days then killed him with the dull knife I use as a dead bolt between the frame and the door. All puns intended. My stomach growled and that even scared me! I did not hear any voices so I did continue to attempt a loosing battle with sleep. Then I heard the big creak and that is when I got up...... since then, the dishes are done, laundry room clean, little pile of doggie poo picked up and flushed, drinking my second twelve ounce glass of water in case this is all the result of dehydration incantation, and cooked a large "slab" of salmon steak with terriaki sauce and fresh lemon of which I ate some of. Now I am telling someone somewhere in the world what a fruitcake I am acting like. Yet, wait a minute here...my horoscope said, Today's Sagittarius Horoscope: Nov 18, 2008 Your logical mind might try to make rational sense of the strange metaphysical ideas, dear Sagittarius, that are popping in and out of your head today. Some of them might be conclusions drawn from books you've been reading, but others might actually be messages from the other side. Write down whatever insights come your way. They might not seem logical, but they'll make a difference to your life.
Wow, I forgot about that until after the big show here. I didn't think to ask the "guys or gals" visiting my apt. from the other side if there were any messages. I was too busy imagining awful things of the dark side. Its from generalized anxiety disorder they say. Or is it? Maybe I am really very in tuned or tuned in to the other side which would cause anyone generalized anxiety at times. Well regardless, before I got all this figured out I told all the visitors to leave unless they were Angels or God.....So any messages that may have changed my life done left. I should have used the 10-10-10 John Tesh Rule tonight. (two blog posts back) Here I am ten minutes later and too late. I kicked 'em out. At least I can sleep soon. I was probably just dehydrated. All this energy wasted. Oh, forgot to tell you....I figured out one of my visitor's from the other side was the Winter Flag I just put up out on the porch....the wind is blowing a tad causing a reflection and shadow on the door window. At least that is my logical explanation. And I killed the other one with the dull knife remember. This is surely my parents fault. They took me to see House on Haunted Hill with Vincent Price when I was like hello EIGHT! I never forgot it ever ever as you can tell. Tonight I cannot believe "I am what I think" because that would be "very not good." So I will end with "Alswell," my little trademark word I purposefully misspell because life isn't always alswell is it? Yet we must believe it is to survive and thrive. Good night to "all" out there and in here.....

The Way We Were We Still Are

This is my Maternal Great Grandmother and Grandmother. They married young, had many children, did some Foster Care, did laundry and cleaned homes for others...married several times and they were strong, hardworking women who raised their children alone at times. So did I!

Those damn cells have memory (good and bad)... and keep on keeping on coming...the Bible says for Three Generations...That means my daughter might be safe on the maternal side anyway. The photo of the man is my Great Great Grandfather Baker. Someone mentioned he was a Quaker which is why the girls married so very young. At 13 and 14 and 15 years old. Not me, I waited to age 17!! whoopie doo. Now the photo of the seven people is my Paternal Great Grandparents and my Grandparents standing left behind them. That 's enough for now. What's my point? That we are all good and bad and the cells carry both the good and the bad onto the next generation.... me and mine and you and yours. Haven't you ever heard, "I wonder why I was born?" Duh....to fix the way you were before you got the way you are....which still needs fixin'! My Grandfather was a drinker, so we all have to watch additions. My other Grandfather was poor, so we have to watch out for poverty cells. But ALL my Grandparents loved children and took care of children.... Just like me, except I Mothered Husbands unintentionally which called in immature men. Shheessh. Cells again I tell ya... You cant kill them, you have fight their urges, fight their demands, fight what they tell you secretly! You have to remake the way you were UNLESS you are perfect and came from perfect. Ya right.... We all came with issues either from our ancestors or who knows, our past life or lives. Yes I do believe in coming back here for another round of pain...but I have decided to refuse the next round. This MaMa has had enough....done.....nadda.....no more. Well not unless something changes and time has become an issue on that score card...

Sit Down, This is Big

My daughter-in-law's father, William Donald Miller, was murdered 36 years ago when he came home on leave. (Marine's) Upon arriving home he found his wife and her lover together in his home with his children. I have blogged this in the past so this is a short up date... Witness's came forward after all these years.... They say there is proof William Donald Miller's wife lured him to an area where her lover in fact shot him dead. She then married that lover/murderer two months after her husbands death by murder and had another child with him. They are both in jail in N.C. The man arrested (her lover) was the Chief of Police in a city in N.C. where he has since been fired. No trial date has been set. Now here comes the sit down part. A new chief of Police has been hired....his name is Donald Miller! S H U T - U P! Someone other than of this world is tending to business don't -cha think?

P.S. A judge allowed the suspected murdered out on bail....

Maybe Judges have too much power? But I suspect not more power than the God watching over this mess of a puzzle who will definitely take it piece by piece apart so William Donald Miller's family can put their life puzzle back together.