Artificial Intelligence..by Diane Ogden

I received an email from a friend telling me that when she called her husband to come pick up his Dinner Tray he mumbled the words "artificial intelligence." She said she couldn't figure out why he said that. Didn't take me long to figure it out! She had been "wondering" if his hearing might be wavering and stated that fact. So when he didn't answer her call for "Dinner Tray Time," she summoned him a bit louder and closer to him......that is when the saying came forth from his positive mouth/mind! "Artificial Intelligence" .....my new words for anyone that thinks they know more than I do or says anything to me in any other tone than perfect. LOL. I laughed all and any bad cells from my body over this one. Especially when she told me she would have to think on why and where that strange comment came from. H E L L O ! Artificial Intelligence....In other words, (you think your so smart.) Best line I have heard in years. Kudos to the husband for not saying what he was really thinking and for using such class regarding this "comeback" he is so noted for in life... Names and faces have been left out to protect our friendship. I am still laughing...even if I got it all wrong. DUH, doubt it.

"Pumpin Gas" by Ben...by Diane Ogden

This is Ben! Isn't he just precious? I was driving to Sauk City to deliver something and then onto Prairie Du Sac when I passed this shabby gas station and noticed the sign said, NO ETHANOL.....well I like no ethanol because my car runs better. The book that came with my car tells me not to use ethanol, but where does one find gas with no ethanol anymore...well there it was....looking like something right out of the Ozark Mountains....not Shabby Chic, just shabby. I made a U- Turn and pulled on up to the pump and before I could get my door open Ben came strolling out. I said, "What?" Then I said, "Oh my Godliness, are you going to pump my gas?" He grinned and I started squealing all about how many years it had been since any one pumped my gas. I asked him if everyone got as excited as I did. He told me only the "out a towners!" LOL... Then I said, "Wait, how much extra?" He said, "Nothin." I said I liked something for nothing. Then I got the camera out and told him I had to have pictures of this after he headed to wash my windshield. What a blow that was. I decided I would fill up there once a month on my little journey to that city of 3,234 people and where many come from all over to watch the Eagles by the river. Midway Sinclair Station, Prairie du Sac, Wisconsin if your ever in the area. I am still enjoying the treat I experienced today with Ben and my car. Oh this is Ben taking my debit card inside to slide it, bring it back to me to sign! I had gone inside to pay when another man in there told me Ben would take care of that! I ran on back to my car, got in, shut the door, and enjoyed the moment.

Morning Walk...by Diane Ogden

It's Mother's Day today and the sun is shining now thank God! Gracie Allen and I took our morning podie run which went on much longer than I expected. She has learned that when she poddie's we turn around and go back home. So she waits for at least a half mile before she relieves herself. And this morning in Wisconsin is was so chilly I wore a turtle neck sweater and winter coat and should have taken the ear muffs! I did take the camera for some little pics from our morning walk...notice the trees are not all green yet, but on their way...enjoy! And Happy Mother's Day and many more!

Cody Ogden Goes Harley...by Diane Ogden

Actually Cody (son number three) did a photo shoot for Harley Davidson in Los Angeles last week and obviously I cannot use those "hot" photos due to copyright sooo.... These came from someone taking pictures after the official ride. Cody said they had many riders in the photo shoot along with a Police Escort as well as traffic being stopped in certain areas. And he got paid for it! Cant beat that...riding new Harley's with Police Escorts and getting paid for it. And I don't know about you, but when I first saw these photos I thought the other man was Cody! But then I have more photos then these.... What a fun way to spend a day. Unless it was 101 degrees that is. These two could be twins with the helmets on....whoa...and I am the Mother, I should see the diff right away... I didn't.

RunAway Bride...by Diane Ogden

Is this the best or what? I am training them "up right." My Grannie was married too many times, My Great Grannie was married too many times, my aunties were married too many times (I guess they were Mennonites or Quakers and the girls were given up to old men at very young ages..eewww, which turned them into searching for something they were never trained to search for) so to set the girls right I showed them several negative videos of horrible things happening at weddings! People falling off tables, fainting, tornadoes taking the church away, dresses falling off, and so on. And then they saw my first husband in a coffin and then a hearse...all the while I am hoping they will connect marriage/weddings with death. OK so I am not on a realistic page. And I lied....I didn't tell them any of that awful truthful stuff. Stuff is my college word when in lack or another. Actually what I saw today was Drama in the form of little girls in gowns. Just like Prom...crying, fighting, running away, bully girls, yet all beautifully gorgeous while doing so! Drama Drama Drama like the monkey's at the zoo. My son calls it un-evolved. Ya think? But they certainly had fun at Nana's today while they reminded her/me of the three weddings I should have RUN AWAY from... but no I had to play Cinderella Poo....less one full to over pouring cup of drama equals a flat line/life after the wedding. Sad to say this dress up day turned out so traumatic for me. I'll be fine...I put an ad on Craig's List for the real deal. Wedding dresses for the girls AND ME to play RUN AWAY BRIDE with. I'll have them trained "UP RIGHT," (all puns intended") by the time they might think they want to walk down any isle.... and right out the back door! And if I'm alive I'll be the one to whisk them off in my 20 year old Lincoln with the ass end dragging because the air ride shocks died before I did. Picture that 8 x 10 glossy! Better than any fake carriage ride and of course I am NOT cynical!!

Yellow Vitamin D...by Diane Ogden

Every time I open my refrigerator I swear I get a dose of Vitamin D! It is so bright it reminds me of the Sun! I got this idea from my daughter in law. I noticed she put plain towels on her fridge shelves as she has young children who spill a lot, so I tried some antique doilies but they were just dull. Then driving around one day I thought about red place mats on the fridge shelves but said to self, eeww, that is awful, not red. Then green, no ick! Yellow, Yes Yellow! I found eight nice bright yellow towels for $7.00. I picked them up without flinching. I knew that I knew those were MY fridge shelf towels.... Now every time I open that door it shines like the afternoon sun. I am in such awe of the "pretty" I forget to eat too much. Did I say too much? Guess so. I love my yellow sunshine refrigerator. These will be great in the Winter Time! And it's great now. Try it....you'll like it...hey maybe pink huh?

Two Things Today: Ducks and Goldfish..by Diane Ogden

I have a friend that told me I should "wake up like a duck." Recently I was hearing allot of negative news from the people around me and it was upsetting. I had passed that fact onto my friend while trying not to pass on the negs. That's when she told me I needed to "wake up like a duck." That means...to either grab onto a ducks tail and float off or better yet to act like a duck and go with the flow....and if the water (negs) gets too rough the ducks get out and go to another safe haven. Not to another unsafe area duh. So today I woke up like a Duck and I flowed all day. Well until Client # 11 where I received some disturbing as well as "funny" news. On occasion my clients have goldfish which we all know do not live very long. (Some do) And the clients children take the loss of such a little orange pet very deeply. This Goldfish was almost a year old and became ill and seemed to take a couple days to pass on. This really bothered the husband. Now picture this in an 8 x 10 glossy! A 6 foot 3 inch handsome tanned musician from Chili is very concerned this fish does not continue to suffer. The sweet wife says, "Honey, flush her!" He was appalled at the idea of flushing and stated so by saying, "No, she wont die down there, she will keep suffering in the dark all alone." The sweet wife says, "Honey, flush her, really." He stands there in deep thought. He says, "Maybe I should stab her with the squewer." (spelling?) The sweet wife herself is now appalled and laughing and says, "No!" Me, I am thinking to myself, Good God use a hammer or your foot, not the squewer! Well she didn't get flushed, or stabbed, or stepped on , or hammered, she just finally died a natural death. When they told the little boy in the family, whose goldfish it was, he didn't seem so upset at all. I would suggest they not get anymore fish because the tall, dark, and handsome Father cant handle it. I am laughing. They asked me if I wanted the little blue goldfish tank. I said, "NO WAY, my kids are grown and I have been there done that way many times, no more thank you." Anyway I couldn't flush or stab either. In fact the last fish, Fritz, got a ride to the pet store because he was ramming his head on the side of the tank....jeez, that was awful. And it made me late for my daughters soccer game. So don't let me make fun of anyone else! The pet store man saved Fritz's life and all ended well. We went to visit Fritz at the pet store on occasion...and that's the way to have a gold fish....with visitation rights.