The Bloody Leg by Diane Ogden

Does it look like ALSWELL? Every year I put the bloody leg out the trunk of my car. Until last year when some jerk stole it. So I bought another one and now every night I put it in the trunk for safety. I drive allot in my city so you can imagine what I see regarding the bloody leg. I do get concerned it might cause an accident but much less distracting than cell phones, eating McDonald's while driving or putting lipstick on. Today I looked in my rear view mirror and saw a lady taking a photo of my car. It startled me until I saw her laughing as the flash went off....then I knew it was "The Bloody Leg!" It does make people happy and laugh wherever I go... And that's the idea....I spread joy with a Bloody Leg... duh. One would think I could come up with better ways but for now, its "The Bloody Leg." Basically it means there is a dead body in my trunk that has experienced severe trauma. Isn't it interesting what makes people laugh? I wouldn't ever drink and drive and especially wouldn't with "The Bloody Leg" hanging out the trunk! I don't drink and drive sshheessh... Maybe I should drive it around on country roads late at night...then again, maybe not.

Wishbone City by Diane Ogden

How many people do you know would allow anyone to see their little collection of dried up wishbones? Me! Only because I just came upon them packed in a box since 2003. That means they are yaaah, six and a half years old. They aren't eewww. They don't smell. They are a bit crusty. They do sort of remind one of a skeleton. Or a pile of skeletons. That is eewww. Well here is my explanation. Every time we had a family holiday turkey or just a turkey I would save the wishbone on the window sill to dry out. When it dried there seemed to be too many people wanting their wishes granted and no way of sharing it.....sooo I put it in my jewel box. Then again and again and again until I had too many at which time I put them in a baggie back in the bottom compartment of the jewel box. Always thinking someday someone might need a really big wish to come true. Yup that's it. So in the beginning it was no way to share one little wish (bone) with ten people and then it became me saving it for One Big Wish someday. Or maybe I will auction them off on EBay....
How much should I price them at? Or back to the jewel box? Naaahh

Oh My, It's a Herd of Men....by Diane Ogden

I was outside my first clients home this morning around 9:30 a.m. The air carried a chill like many October mornings do in Wisconsin. It was a very quiet morning considering I was in a parking lot of a large condominium estate, yet the only sounds were from a few singing birds who have not left for Arizona yet. Dummies. Suddenly I heard a voice, then more voices. I turned toward the North and to my delightful surprise it was not birds, but Six hot, way too young, men, walking the "hot" black pavement, (I'm practicing my writing skills) obviously they made it hot - considering it was 42 degrees outside at that time. Have you ever said what you were thinking all the time not meaning to? I said loudly, "Oh my, It's a herd of men!" I could not believe I said that, but I had. The leader of the "Pac," I could tell he did not know what to say - of which I don't blame him after a momentary thought about what I had just said... He responded with manly man words such as ......"We're just making sure your safe out here." Maybe he thought I thought the pac was coming for me and wanted to assure me they were not assaltive. Is that a word? I thought, omg in my dreams! I wanted to say, "Wow, Haven't seen this many men all at once since the "fire in my oven" (I love my puns) fifteen years ago when fifteen gorgeous firemen came with red trucks, sirens, hoses and all the equipment necessary!! And before that the last time I saw that many men all at once was High School. (I should get out more) As they came closer I said something I cannot remember but I do know I was trying to fix an awkward momentary situation between seven individuals. Me being one. The "Pac" or "Herd" leader said they were there making sure the property was all in order. They must have been owners of the condo properties I presumed. I lightened the mood and the color of my face with a comment regarding what a beautiful brisk day for their walk about. They agreed. And off I went to work leaving my fantasies in the parking lot. Just kidding about the fantasy thing. (there I go again, punning it)
http://www.insidesocal.com/outinhollywood/2007/02/men-in-suits.html

Not the Mentalist, the Analist...by Diane Ogden

Definition of the slang term "Anal": Compulsive or very picky about doing things a certain way.

Have you seen the new TV show called the Mentalist. I love that show.. I experienced a new client today I would call an Analist, whose home was PERFECT when Maria and I arrived. I mean perfect. The dog cant even eat until she gets home so she can clean it up immediately. Nor does the dog get water until she is home from work and can clean that up immediately also. Maria and I stood there somewhat in shock after she left, then we noticed the dog who was looking at us with this dear little poutty face, at which time Maria and I looked at each other and then....omg for a camera! Maria says in a far away little high squeaky voice, "Help me, Help me, Save me!" You know pretending to speak for the dog... I wailed with laughter. One of those perfect moments in a perfect house.

Client asked me to dust the sides of her dresser!....I was afraid of her house it is sooo perfect. Almost like my Mother. LOL... In the closets all the clothes are segregated by color....in the kitchen cupboards there are baskets to keep everything separated in neat perfect order. She gets upset if anyone walks on her carpet and messes up the vacuum lines...She wants to look at it for awhile first. Scary place indeed.... Yet pretty darn funny too....

Dear Frank..... by Diane Ogden

"This is Frank"
Dear Frank....

Do you ever find getting into someone else's head slash energies slash thoughts is detrimental to your health and well being. Notice the detri- slash -mental...humm. Or, Dear Frank do you find it a good idea that it helps determine where you stand even with yourself if you get into why someone is treating you in such a way that is confusing. Confusing? Let me help you understand. If someone gives you a gift and it is truly a gift you know their energy is good and their thoughts are kind. End of issue. But on the other hand, and I know how you dislike the word but, Frank, but, as I began to say....if someone gives you or me a gift and you notice oddities regarding their personality and energies toward you, which indeed includes words and attitudes, do you climb into their head? I would say no.. but...(there it is again Frank) when you are awakening in the early morning and the thought comes to you in the form of an answer that you didn't chase after....wouldn't you then allow it and follow its leading? I did Frank.....ya know what I found out? That the gift wasn't really a true gift. It is a gift which (witch oops) that person didn't truly want to give and wishes she hadn't. Therefore the attitude and the expectation of a return from me to her in the form of payment is a requirement she is trying to hide. I got it Frank. Do you get it?That is what is inside her head and "coming at me." I was so dumb Frank... Here I thought it to be a miracle...

Guess it was for me. Poor dear, I should pray she gets her energies fixed "back" toward the good side. Thanks for your time Frank... I love our little talks.

p.s. Frank is my friend and mentor who I call Frank because sometimes she is very 'frank' with me. Love my puns, or was that really one? She calls me Fern when I do stupid thoughtless things as I do her...like the time she got in the shower with her bra on..... or the time she put her large ferns on top of their little broken "old" triumph (car hello) in the garage, then proceeded to push the car outside with ferns atop to get them some Sun.. That is where the name Fern originated. Now you know Frank and Fern... they are quite a pair....

Movin on up! To the East Side???? by Diane Ogden

To me that means moving to a better place, a more prosperous place, be that a different street or State! Remember George and Wheezy? I should dance all the way...Tonight my son asked me to move to L.A. and live with him, so ...... I cried some Mr. "L.E. Phant "tears and then I wondered how I would sleep due to the stuffed nasal passages. I did the hot salt water up the nose, thanks.. I am fine now for a minute or six. I talk so darn big...having a dream of moving to L.A. near my boys, yet scared silly of doing it. Son says to start the Green Cleaning business again in Beverly Hills, right next door to where he and I are going to live! There I said it~omg....to pueck or not to pueck. Hey get ahold of yourself....you always wanted to do the Baby Boom thing and move to Connecticut or Vermont was it? Make gourmet applesauce and sell it to all the rich folk..... Big dreams little guts? Son says sell it all, buy some new. Omg! He has forgotten my age. Surely. Been about eight years since he has been around me much. That means he saw me last when I was around 53 ish. And since then I have osteo in the hips, sciatica in the ass, and fear as a freak. Oh I forgot I have God. I can do anything as long as I keep my Intention at hand and The Secret in my forefront and Xanax in my pocket. And then there is Grace! Son says find a great place for Grace to live. No way Hose Chihuahua! I found Grace and she has kept my life going.... What to do? I...wont leave my dog! Could find Lucy a home, but no way on Grace. She depends on me.
Son says in Cali one doesn't need health insurance...you get "free care." Guess that means sitting in a free clinic until such happens (care that is) and that is for colds and flu, not old age issues. Omg. How did I get here? I do numerology and my numbers say I NEED security above all else yet it is the one thing I have not. I almost got on my knees earlier...but told God to listen as tho I were on my knees considering it's too hard to get back up if at all. Hope he heard me. L.A. with Grace or not? Grace has been my best friend...won't leave her behind.... there is much more..... like I have almost eighty sweaters stuffed in drawers and on shelves and in bags, tons of winter jackets and boots..... I have one nice pair of summer slacks, a couple linen tops, (the washer ruined everything in one load as the bleach dispenser miscalculated its timing) no shoes (have to get to foot doc first) and he isn't free! If I hear correctly and I still have that going on.....its warm year round in L.A.

Just a Touch.... by Diane Ogden

Well I don't mean you have to hug me every time you "pass me by." Actually I thought this picture was so interesting I wanted to use it today... What I do mean is that touching someone can change their day and even their life. Touching by some whose energies are clear and positive can heal sickness. Touching by anyone with kindness behind the touch is uplifting to a place we should be at all times anyway. Higher than lower for sure. Some people rarely ever get touched by another human being. That isn't good. Some can afford spa massages and Rieke touch and pedicure and foot massage and so on. Some cannot. Where did all this touchy talk come from? I was at a clients home the other day, actually someone I hadn't thought of so kindly on occasion. She hasn't learned how to deliver herself to the world in such a manner that she is likable. I had purchased something for her home that she needed. That was a big step for me as it obviously isn't my home.... (She was also aware that my company had donated some time to Habitat for Humanity work) This prompted her to walk over to me and put her hand on the top of my arm (you know that flabby part after 40). Her hand was very gentle, with good energy ...I could feel and sense that. She said, as she touched my spirit and flesh, "You are such a good person Diane, you do much for other people."

WOW! I didn't mean to. And not to toot my own horn, or blow my own whistle because obviously I don't even realize it. But when she touched my arm something happened to me. I felt like a child who was told she was alright, OK, good, wonderful, and just plain great! I felt a surge of energy pulsate thru me like I was the energizer bunny gone dead, and now recharged. My bells were clanging and my step was higher, and my mind was clearer, and I felt I could go on forever. No pink bunny suit, just me, a simple ordinary human being that must have needed a touch. Now where the heck do I get another one? I guess by giving.... The best part of this little touchy feely story is that I got knocked in the head every so gently by I suppose God, telling me not to talk or think badly about anyone...keep it level and clear so the positive good energy can keep coming thru to me. Don't block it! So what'd he do? He used someone I had thought ill of to reach me. touch me... I said I was sorry!

swallowcliffs.blogspot.com/2009/09/number-7.html

www.socialcyanide.com/.../touch&healing.jpg