Gracie Poddied on Someone's Carpet!!

My helper Maria and I were at the neighbors with Gracie Allen today. Maria called me into their bedroom and said, "There is a heart on the floor and I don't know where it came from!" So I hurried in there only to see Maria bending down touching it. She exclaimed, "It's wet!" I looked at her very wide eyed and said, "Oh my God, Gracie peed a heart!" Maria ran for paper towels and I said, "Wait," as I put my hand on her arm gracefully, "At least she peed with Love." And we both broke out into huge laughter...meantime Gracie is scampering off feeling much better having left her mark of love behind. I truly have never seen such a thing as this heart-mark left by a dog.

Today I saw a Weenie!

Today I saw a wiener. A real one! I was driving down Broadway on my way to a clients home when my eyes strayed to the right. I am a person that can drive and still see what is going on around me. That is not to say I can eat, talk on the phone, check my hair and makeup etc. But I do have excellent awareness of what is surrounding me. This little glance to the right turned into a longer look that I expected. There was a short balding man with a hip length blue jacket on that seemed to be doing something odd. Such as pulling it up with both his hands and exposing "something." I did the double take, which didn't really register in my brain until after the fact. Well it did but it didn't. Like did I really just see a man pull up his big winter coat so I personally could view a SMALL pink "thang" peering out of his pants like a very small cold pink thang. I started to laugh and speak out loud to my cars interior or whoever may be riding with me, in the spirit....I said, "What a stupid human being! Why if it were anything to look at I might have honked. But Lord sakes...a little pink wienie. I merged onto the highway trying to push the phone buttons on my new intricate smart phone. I thought to myself, "Should I call 9-1-1? Or a non emergency number?" Traffic was hectic, dangerous to be trying to find any number, so I dialed 9-1-1....only to get my cell phone carrier at 6-1-1. Oh Jeez, back to driving, dialing... I got 9-1-1. She said, "Where is your emergency?" I said, "Well, its not an emergency, but I'm in traffic so calling you was less dangerous, I am calling about a stupid human being who just exposed himself to me on Broadway, of which I followed with a description. I was pretty amazed at my memory of this mans description. (not including the pinkie) I called a few friends and we had a hoot about it. Then I stopped at my dog trainers to visit. She has a little black daschound named "Wiener" who jumped in my lap. I then looked at her and soberly said, "I saw a weenie today." And followed with my little tale (tail)... just kidding. Her eyes got really big and she said, "You mean you saw a real wienie?" I said, "Yup...and continued." When I was finished with my story, she calmy said, "Wow, today you saw and pink one and a black one!" (the dog)
I have been practicing the law of attraction using words. It started out with Thank God for Men.....now its Thank God for my man... But I didn't mean a stupid human being man...needless to say, with a little weenie.

Dinner for Breakfast

I cant do eggs and their umbilical attached cords for breakfast. Only in baked goods after total mixing of cords and yolk and protective gel is all combined and I cant see it or think about exactly where it came from. So feel free to evaluate that if you wish..."done care!" I prefer my Kashi dinners for breakfast. I get ample protein, total enjoyment from the spices and fun from the noodles. Of course I am bored and in need of stimulation. If spices and noodles do it for me, so be it for now. Only prob is I noticed this healthy little tray of fun and excitement has 45 grams of carbohydrates. Holy Cow Shitski! That is an entire days carbs for this old egg. The good? I ate it early so I can wear it off before its too late... get it? And I am totally satisfied. Oh brother what a sick inference that turned out to be. Eggs, morning, and satisfaction...hummm

Vermonation Relocation

Vermonation Relocation from their house to your mouse! What does this mean you say? Well I have another client who left me a note on Christmas along with a cute little gray mouse in a basket ornament! I wondered?? Then read the note. "Seems we have a mouse, or twenty! That is why the silverware is all on the counter." And by the way still is mid January. Last time I was there I inquired as to whether the meeces were gone now. She stated that one was gone... That they trapped it humanly in a little cagey poo and it had such a cute little face. I said, "Then what did you do, put it outside so it could find its way back in?" She said, "No, no...my husband put it in the car (omg let me live) and drove it over to Turville Park (by the lake) and set it free!" I laughed really out loud... I hope I didn't offend her, considering her and her hubbs are both shrink's. You know Psychiatrists. Wonder what the big books would say about this? That is one of her favorite phrases...close anyway. So..the way I see it is the silverware is still on the counter, there are many more cute little faces needing a ride to Turville Park, and Good God I hope they didn't freeze considering they lived inside for Heaven only knows how long! And should just one of those little cuties find its way near me I shall be on their sofa, face up, discussing it the following week. Not sure why, but I cant do meeces... just something squibbly about them..or could it be my Mother used to tell me they will go right up my pant leg. You don't tell someone with my imagination anything like that because it becomes a permanent part of my brain cells and their memory path forever. Author of title rthyme is P.S Bell of Tuxedo Printing, Madison, Wisconsin

Giving at a Young Age...This is Olivia

Ever since she was two years old, Olivia has wanted to be a veterinarian. She has not wavered from that choice. But at her seventh birthday party, she took things one step further. "She doesn't feel she needs any more things," said her Mom, Lita Napadensky. "Instead, she wanted to give to the School of Veterinary Medicine." In lieu of presents, Olivia asked her party guests to make a donation toward the purchase of the school's TomoTherapy unit. Or alternatively, to purchase dog or cat treats for animals that need to make frequent visits to the Veterinary Medial Teaching Hospital for cancer treatments, or coloring books and toys to occupy children who accompany their parents and pets on hospital visits... "What a caring thing to do!" exclaimed Dr. Ruthanne Chun, one of the oncologists at the school, when she heard what Olivia had done for the cause.
(above article from "On Call" U.W. School of Veterinary Medicine, November 2009 issue)

Olivia and her parents have been clients of mine for a long time. They lost their best friend Ben, a Golden Lab, to cancer in the past couple years. Olivia experienced this loss at an early age of five, long after her desire to be a veterinarian was heard by all. Ben is dearly missed by all who knew him. Since then the family adopted another friend named Amber, pictured above. Amber is an amazingly gently sweet spirited animal.

Olivia has a beautiful home and family unit. She was adopted as an infant into this family from another country where poverty was beyond what any of us might every imagine. I would say what a lucky young girl she is, but then I think we are all the lucky ones to have her in our country with such positive aspirations to help the helpless. Not even knowing she was one of those at one time herself. Certainly there are a heavenly host of Angels guiding this little one all the way.

The Best Present Came Late

Now isn't this just something else again? I thought so too. What an amazing Christmas present.

And from one of my clients. Need I say more. P.S. I did like the mug I rec'd from my Grands with their mugs on it! But come on, get real, look at this

What I Got For Christmas

I wanted more. I wanted a diamond necklace and new boots. I wanted (two) orphaned children. I wanted/needed an updated wardrobe. I wanted new jama's. I wanted/needed a vacation. I wanted love. I wanted my boys all home for the Holidays. I wanted a duplex, and yes with checks. I wanted a years worth of toilet paper and baggies. (Just a "thing" with me)
I wanted new carpet. I wanted updated furniture. I wanted a home big enough for a few more animals. (Don't worry, I am not cat-lady material) I wanted a friend to share life with. I wanted a new mattress for my back. I wanted a new car for my daughter. I wanted homes for the homeless. I wanted a flat screen TV and an HD radio. I wanted a fancy scanner that scans fifty pictures at a time. I wanted a wicker hanging swing for my porch come Spring. I wanted a massage chair for my back. I wanted a dentist who takes payments. I wanted a face lift, mini one would do for now. I wanted to take writing classes so I can work on my book. I want to finalize the other book, Crestview,The Road Back. I wanted new shoes called Nuots. Something like that. I wanted security. A hotel room with a whirlpool and big TV and no where to go for three days or more. Ballroom Dance lessons, (like my back would eat that mess right up!) I wanted more time. I wanted a decent haircut. I wanted allot of things most people want.
But I got these socks from someone that works for me... bless her heart, she ran to the dollar store and got me these socks and two candles! Damn I am lucky. And I got an all natural pine needle sachet from my son in Vegas. (It is nice) And, and, oh a MUG with my Grands Mugs on it. A Bethlehem flower from my friend....and, and, and....and..... I think that 's it. Wait, I did get $50 from my brother and sister in law. That is out of five children, six Grand children, and so on... Wow it was a great Christmas for me wasn't it? And yes I did give.... maybe it'll come back in other ways they say. And then a-gain....maybe I got more than some. But then a-GAIN, maybe it's time for a change. Ya-think? p.s. I hope no one read this before I say how much I truly appreciated these one dollar socks! Someone went out of their way on a busy day for me. It doesn't matter what they cost. That is exactly the sweet part of the whole discussion.