The Chic Strap (s)

So, why do jocks get to call their "little" holder a "jock strap" when in reality it is a cup for the protection of their tender "little" doo da day" dealie (s)! We ladies on the other hand have lived thru unbelievable Bandeau issues. It is said that Howard Hughes initially invented the Chic Strap for Jane Russell for an old western movie. Yet I have also read that in 2000 BC, that is before Christ and Mary, that warrior Minoan women began wearing a cloth garments that shoved (omg like shoveled) their breasts upward. Who ever said they should be upward? The Greeks wore a bodice tied above the breasts, leaving them naked, but preventing them from moving while walking. Whalla the sports bra. Then in 4th Century AD, The Chemise appeared. It was like a tunic, or now called, I forget! In France women wore the Bandeau! Sort of a corset! YA THINK? Then came the gourgandine which I believe was similar to the guillotine, one for the head the other for the boobs. For sure. In 1889 came the first modern bra called the le bien-etre (the wellbeing) NOT! It was a two parter, upper supported the bosom with shoulder straps, the lower a corset type gear. Reminds me of a half a scuba diving outfit. By 1905 the upper half was being sold as a soutein-gorge (breast support). Whalla! Then in America, Mary Phelps Jacob was granted the first U.S. Patent for her brassier. Then....in 1922 came Ida Rosenthal, bless her boob covered heart! She and her hubbs changed the look of women's fashion with the Maidenform... oh I forgot one...the humorist Wallace Reyburn in the 1970's invented the new name "tit-sling." (God I hate that word, considering it is rendered (I love my puns) from teet, from the cow) Regardless what century you derive from...or even care about... I dislike the harness, just do. Why is it OK for men to just "hang around" their goods. Why cant my goods hang around? Jock straps, get outta here! The minute I get home I lose the Chic Strap! Literally lose it sometimes unable to find it in the a.m. before next days work. Don't worry I eventually find it... And I give in to the fact it has a social purpose.... then why does my auntie in the nurse home have to wear such gear? And why do "the girls" have to stand at attention? They aren't soldiers in training to save their and our lives. They are mamiliaries! Created to continue evolution...(I guess they do make life, or make life better huh?) You know, evolution, where girls feet are getting bigger, men are getting shorter, and every one's brains are not growing like the pictures of the aliens ....... so, we'll have big feet to run faster, from who we wont know as our brains are too small, but our boobs will be upright and tight fitted for the run. Not mine, because every day I take it off the minute I hit my front door. This time it ended up on the fridge....

p.s. Why don't men have such a harness to deal with daily?

I direved some of my information from Fun Trivia online.....not that I didn't know it already..

My "Markdown" Angel named Goodwill?

Today was a good day to stop in at the local Goodwill Store, which is exactly what I did. The sun was shining, my car was shining from a wash job at our local Octopus, so I decided to see what I could find shining at Goodwill. Look what I found! Organza with four of the most beautiful rhinestone buttons I have ever seen. Well at least for awhile anyway... And it cost me $3.99! The grey sweater is sooo soft, and then add those precious pearl buttons, which are my favorite jewelry anyway... $3.99. No kidding. Then the Liz Sport striped cotton blouse along side the light brown sweater and leather Anne Klein shoes. Each $3.99. I am so proud that I got five quality items for $21.07!! That was fun! But I still like the mall....and Ralph Lauren for sure....

Gracie Poddied on Someone's Carpet!!

My helper Maria and I were at the neighbors with Gracie Allen today. Maria called me into their bedroom and said, "There is a heart on the floor and I don't know where it came from!" So I hurried in there only to see Maria bending down touching it. She exclaimed, "It's wet!" I looked at her very wide eyed and said, "Oh my God, Gracie peed a heart!" Maria ran for paper towels and I said, "Wait," as I put my hand on her arm gracefully, "At least she peed with Love." And we both broke out into huge laughter...meantime Gracie is scampering off feeling much better having left her mark of love behind. I truly have never seen such a thing as this heart-mark left by a dog.

Today I saw a Weenie!

Today I saw a wiener. A real one! I was driving down Broadway on my way to a clients home when my eyes strayed to the right. I am a person that can drive and still see what is going on around me. That is not to say I can eat, talk on the phone, check my hair and makeup etc. But I do have excellent awareness of what is surrounding me. This little glance to the right turned into a longer look that I expected. There was a short balding man with a hip length blue jacket on that seemed to be doing something odd. Such as pulling it up with both his hands and exposing "something." I did the double take, which didn't really register in my brain until after the fact. Well it did but it didn't. Like did I really just see a man pull up his big winter coat so I personally could view a SMALL pink "thang" peering out of his pants like a very small cold pink thang. I started to laugh and speak out loud to my cars interior or whoever may be riding with me, in the spirit....I said, "What a stupid human being! Why if it were anything to look at I might have honked. But Lord sakes...a little pink wienie. I merged onto the highway trying to push the phone buttons on my new intricate smart phone. I thought to myself, "Should I call 9-1-1? Or a non emergency number?" Traffic was hectic, dangerous to be trying to find any number, so I dialed 9-1-1....only to get my cell phone carrier at 6-1-1. Oh Jeez, back to driving, dialing... I got 9-1-1. She said, "Where is your emergency?" I said, "Well, its not an emergency, but I'm in traffic so calling you was less dangerous, I am calling about a stupid human being who just exposed himself to me on Broadway, of which I followed with a description. I was pretty amazed at my memory of this mans description. (not including the pinkie) I called a few friends and we had a hoot about it. Then I stopped at my dog trainers to visit. She has a little black daschound named "Wiener" who jumped in my lap. I then looked at her and soberly said, "I saw a weenie today." And followed with my little tale (tail)... just kidding. Her eyes got really big and she said, "You mean you saw a real wienie?" I said, "Yup...and continued." When I was finished with my story, she calmy said, "Wow, today you saw and pink one and a black one!" (the dog)
I have been practicing the law of attraction using words. It started out with Thank God for Men.....now its Thank God for my man... But I didn't mean a stupid human being man...needless to say, with a little weenie.

Dinner for Breakfast

I cant do eggs and their umbilical attached cords for breakfast. Only in baked goods after total mixing of cords and yolk and protective gel is all combined and I cant see it or think about exactly where it came from. So feel free to evaluate that if you wish..."done care!" I prefer my Kashi dinners for breakfast. I get ample protein, total enjoyment from the spices and fun from the noodles. Of course I am bored and in need of stimulation. If spices and noodles do it for me, so be it for now. Only prob is I noticed this healthy little tray of fun and excitement has 45 grams of carbohydrates. Holy Cow Shitski! That is an entire days carbs for this old egg. The good? I ate it early so I can wear it off before its too late... get it? And I am totally satisfied. Oh brother what a sick inference that turned out to be. Eggs, morning, and satisfaction...hummm

Vermonation Relocation

Vermonation Relocation from their house to your mouse! What does this mean you say? Well I have another client who left me a note on Christmas along with a cute little gray mouse in a basket ornament! I wondered?? Then read the note. "Seems we have a mouse, or twenty! That is why the silverware is all on the counter." And by the way still is mid January. Last time I was there I inquired as to whether the meeces were gone now. She stated that one was gone... That they trapped it humanly in a little cagey poo and it had such a cute little face. I said, "Then what did you do, put it outside so it could find its way back in?" She said, "No, no...my husband put it in the car (omg let me live) and drove it over to Turville Park (by the lake) and set it free!" I laughed really out loud... I hope I didn't offend her, considering her and her hubbs are both shrink's. You know Psychiatrists. Wonder what the big books would say about this? That is one of her favorite phrases...close anyway. So..the way I see it is the silverware is still on the counter, there are many more cute little faces needing a ride to Turville Park, and Good God I hope they didn't freeze considering they lived inside for Heaven only knows how long! And should just one of those little cuties find its way near me I shall be on their sofa, face up, discussing it the following week. Not sure why, but I cant do meeces... just something squibbly about them..or could it be my Mother used to tell me they will go right up my pant leg. You don't tell someone with my imagination anything like that because it becomes a permanent part of my brain cells and their memory path forever. Author of title rthyme is P.S Bell of Tuxedo Printing, Madison, Wisconsin

Giving at a Young Age...This is Olivia

Ever since she was two years old, Olivia has wanted to be a veterinarian. She has not wavered from that choice. But at her seventh birthday party, she took things one step further. "She doesn't feel she needs any more things," said her Mom, Lita Napadensky. "Instead, she wanted to give to the School of Veterinary Medicine." In lieu of presents, Olivia asked her party guests to make a donation toward the purchase of the school's TomoTherapy unit. Or alternatively, to purchase dog or cat treats for animals that need to make frequent visits to the Veterinary Medial Teaching Hospital for cancer treatments, or coloring books and toys to occupy children who accompany their parents and pets on hospital visits... "What a caring thing to do!" exclaimed Dr. Ruthanne Chun, one of the oncologists at the school, when she heard what Olivia had done for the cause.
(above article from "On Call" U.W. School of Veterinary Medicine, November 2009 issue)

Olivia and her parents have been clients of mine for a long time. They lost their best friend Ben, a Golden Lab, to cancer in the past couple years. Olivia experienced this loss at an early age of five, long after her desire to be a veterinarian was heard by all. Ben is dearly missed by all who knew him. Since then the family adopted another friend named Amber, pictured above. Amber is an amazingly gently sweet spirited animal.

Olivia has a beautiful home and family unit. She was adopted as an infant into this family from another country where poverty was beyond what any of us might every imagine. I would say what a lucky young girl she is, but then I think we are all the lucky ones to have her in our country with such positive aspirations to help the helpless. Not even knowing she was one of those at one time herself. Certainly there are a heavenly host of Angels guiding this little one all the way.