Operation "Roy G. Biv" by Diane E. Ogden

A new chance to see Roy G. Biv!  Remember back in school they taught us how to retain the colors of the rainbow?  Red - Orange - Yellow - Green - Blue - Indigo - Violet! = roygbiv.  Well now I can see all those colors very clearly and brilliantly after today.  This is the second eye surgery which happened today...notice the before and after gorgeous photos whee-oo. So proud.  I was still out of it from the wonderful anesthetic cocktail some fellow named Mr. Lee gave me.  I am not sure what I said to him but my stand up routine went into "High" gear because everyone was laughing at something... I can only presume, (notice I didn't say ass-u-me), it was me.  I think I invited Mr. Lee to come home with me!  I am laughing now.  He was a kid, well a 35 year old kid... Am I embarrassed, nope.  I was interested in his powers of good sleep not his other powers thank you.  Sort of like Micheal Jackson took his anesthesiologist home with him.  I am just kidding. Well maybe if I were 35 again I would be more interested in his other powers but for now I am sitting in front of my computer with a patch on one eye trying to see the print. Hoping I will only need some of those cutsie little readers that sit on the bottom of your nose. You know all the different colored ones with rhinestones and shiny silver and gold beaded chains to hold them around your neck for just the right time when they are needed for phone books or small print on menus. 
Now all I need is the mini lift.  You know, the pulling of the jowels back and up.  Just a little.  Then I could see Roy G. Giv and once again recognize myself when I look in a mirror...

The Snow Swiffer by Diane Ogden

I must be fresh out of material to use this one!  It snowed again in Wisconsin and all over this little swiffer duster I dropped outside my car where it laid for two hours.  Like I said, I have no idea why I decided to take its fluffy little picture because its really a no brainer photo and blog post today.  I think I shall delete this and wait for something more interesting for sure.  Really.

Freak Flower! By Diane Ogden

On of my clients gave me this Freaky Amaryllis for Christmas. I was so excited because it was a baby when I rec'd it. ( I hope they don't read my blog.) Actually there are two "Freaks," the other one stayed three inches tall stunted, and this one freaked out to the moon!  I mean come on, its not even pretty.  I recall over the holidays it just kept getting taller and taller and then started to lean so I would prop it everyday in the window, and take it out every nite so it didn't get too cold. Maybe I should have let it get colder so it would stop growing up. During the day I used the cat tree as a stake to keep it from bending. I noticed the bulb a top this towered stem looked a bit ragged. I wondered if the cat decided to do some munching on it seeing it was residing on her tower.  I think so  because when it eventually bloomed the edges of the precious (monster) bloom were ragged and unbecoming. 
I didn't notice my lampshade was crooked until  took this photo so this magnificent "thing" has had some value besides being an annoying chore every day.  The other runt is still a runt, no motion of growing in the least.  I am not a person that can put living plants in the trash, therefore the plants are taking over.  I have several.
One from a University Dumpster someone threw out and it was freezing so I brought it home and propped the leaves up until it figured I wasn't going to let it die so it lived.  Funny looking, but alive!

Then there is the rubber tree and the dracia something that I acquired after an acquaintance had a stroke. No one watered them for a severely long time so into the back of my car they went...the rubber tree had three leaves on it and the dracia palm was over five feet tall with one stupid looking bush at the top which hung over like drunken sailor or air force or army just in case anyone might think me prejudice regarding the armed forces which I am not, merely grabbing and old saying out of the air. Notice it grew a new stalk after a year or so. And two more plants from a Curves that went out of business! Anyway... they now thrive in my apartment where there is no longer room for them.  Believe me there are more plant stories, kid stories, man stories, but you get it.  I should be in the field of caretaker somewhere other than my apartment and should learn to fix 'em, then release them to the world!  Or not!

Jimmy Choo I Think I Love You... by Diane Ogden

Well what do you think?  Me, I about hit the floor and the door on my way down after viewing the price tag on these Jimmy Choo Shoes!  I could crown one tooth for that, buy a good set of tires, a new wardrobe, an Apple laptop, a new flat screen TV plus Blue Ray, one third of my mini face lift, a new sofa, a new bed!! Never mind the bed, a new mattress, a trip to L.A. to visit my boys, and on and on. 
But aren't those Choo's beautiful.  Would that be shoes in Chinese or Japanese?  Fact is I do not know where Jimmy Choo is from so I am talking out my left brain.  That is the creative side right?  If not forgive me and consider I meant the right brain.  A bit high in the heel for any one's spine deal.  But then we thought that when the 3" heels came out in the 60's. 
I am glad I met someone who owns a pair of Jimmy Choo's Shoes.  You should see the dress that goes with these Choo's.  Amazing.  I still rather have the mini lift.

I Did That! by Diane Ogden

Do you notice how the sign is bent considerably more than any of the other signs down the way? I did that!  In fact I did that a couple months ago.  I decided to be slick and back into the stall.  My Dad and I are great drivers until we start doing the "back up" deal.  That is when we should just not do it, is all. 

When this originally happened, I got out after I heard the crunch thinking my back bumper would have a UGE (Donald Trump type huge) dent, crease, or crack, in the back.  But nope, only a little paint gone in one area.  I didn't tape my insurance information to the sign, or tell anyone...what dummie would do that so they could pay the "city" or the UGE (Donald Trump huge) Store chain that Ty Pennington gets all those supplies from on Sunday nights so families can get big new homes FREE!  So why would I need to help those people when I don't have a new home and nothing's free.  I went into said store after I bent their sign way back and bought what I needed and left.  Then last night I had to stop at the same Ty Pennington Store and would you believe "MY" bent sign is still bent. So I felt directly at home, decided to back into the stall (I should know better) and stopped way far away from the sign I tried to kill two months ago.  I thought myself rather gutsy pulling back into the crime scene.  There is an old saying, "The bad guy always goes back to the scene of the crime!" And I did. Notice I didn't say criminal...eeeww.  Not me!  I cant believe they never fixed that sign.  By the way its a disabled parking sign that is now disabled.

Maybe I Killed Her! by Diane Ogden

Today is New Years eve day and I worked a normal schedule but before my day began I needed to make a stop at a Bank on our Capital Square which happens to be smack downtown Madison! This being a fact also includes rush hour traffic which my son laughs at considering he is from Los Angeles. How dare I make any such comments on traffic. We basically have none here according to him.  I suppose that is true.  Nevertheless I made my way thru it to the bank. Found a parking spot directly in front, dug around for my money, two twenty's, as I needed change for the final dollars of pay for my helpers on the job later.  I hustle on into the bank, this particular bank, as I had to drop some magazines off I deliver once a month in the area, and had missed this stop due to a snow storm.  As I walk into the huge brass and glass doors I see an unkempt woman sitting in the lounging area.  I could see she was homeless and was struck by the fact the bank was allowing her to reside there, probably for the entire day.  Most business's will not allow this. I was glad to see she had a warm place to go. Most of the homeless in Madison have to walk around all day until the Church lets them back in at 5-6 p.m.  I handed the teller my $20 and got my change back...I kept the other twenty aside as I asked the teller if she thought it would be alright to give the homeless woman some money.  Why I felt I had to ask any one's permission I have no idea.  And I do know the Bible says to give and not tell anyone, yet here I am telling millions of people on my blog. Get real, only six read it anyway, and that is a good guess.  Back to point.  I leaned over and said, " I hope you can use this", as I handed her the twenty dollar bill.  Actually it didn't seem to register to her what I had handed her, or I suspect she thought it was a dollar. Suddenly I heard a guttural laugh and as she opened her mouth to do so I saw she had lost most of her top and bottom front teeth.  She was so shocked and happy she was still making noises as I exited the bank.  I really didn't need that twenty.  She did, or did she?  As I drove away with a few tears in my eyes from seeing such a sight and maybe from my own sweet appraisal of my good deed. Yes I remember what the good book says... hey I have a point, hang on.  I drive another block and recall her guttural voice. The voice of a heavy smoker and drinker.  I thought to myself, "You rum-dumb, you just may have killed that woman."  She probably bought some cigarettes, a bottle and got drunk.  If so the Church won't let her in at 5-6 p.m. which means she could freeze to death overnight after the booze wears off.  Well, I gave with good intent and felt led to therefore if the old girl croaks because of my gift of money, then she is probably happier than sitting in that bank all day long bored, and sleeping in the church all night.  R I P old girl.  But then again, she may have bought some hot soup and a brownie..... ya right! 

? Are They Gone?

Yes, "they" are gone, but not gone.  They are driving a Chevrolet across the USA, America is waiting just for them!  You know, that ole Dinah Shore commercial from when even I was a tot.  Back to my point. They left this snow covered Wisconsin Penthouse Number One Zero Five today after my noon soap opera finished.  Cody, my son recalls that soap, Days Of Our Lives from when he was a tot.  They were packing so it was acceptable for me to watch.  Then the dreaded for me, exciting for them, moment came to be.  Walking to the car, putting the last minute items inside, hugging the tear filled Mother, which neither will ever understand until they birth one of their own.  But they have manners and complied such to my tears. I mean they weren't the bawling cow kind of course.  They were the mannerly Motherly ones.  The cow kind were stuck in my gut and throat and brain and any such other places I could hide them.  I buy a LOTTO ticket once a week and I expect to win.  I tell the cashier every week that I am going to L.A. Hurry and check that ticket.  The cashiers ALL KNOW BETTER than to ever say, "Nope, Not a Winner!"  I give them the positive talk....(they get it now)  I really don't want to fall into the ocean someday because I don't like water, but I figure I might "pass out" and on before that ever happens so I might just gamble on it and go.  Soon as my numbers win.  The numbers are all my children's birth dates and mine.  See, cant lose with those numbers.  I am OK now.  Had an eye exam with dilation and cried some of those cow tears on the way home.  I figured if anyone saw me they would just think someone died.  No big deal.  People only cry while driving if someone has died, or if their son they hardly ever see visits for three days and then leaves again for 361 days. OK so I cant subtract...362 days.  Love you Cody and Laura...have a safe and protected drive across the USA in her Chevrolet, America is waiting just for you!!