BMW Convertable Low Rider by Diane Ogden

Let me see....I worked three jobs today, tomorrow I work three more and pic up thousands of small magazines to be delivered around the Capital of Wisconsin, Madison....  I just ate a piece of Dove Chocolate Dark and read the little inspirational do da day wrapper that says, "Take a deep breath and exhale, Love Dove!"  I just stared at it.  Like hello, if am alive  I am taking breaths and exhaling them.  What's a deep one going to offer me with my schedule.  I don't do energy drinks or I should die if I did because they cause me anxiety and run me to the E.R. So... what's my point?  My point is I don't have a BMW convertible.  I know someone that does....and her friend and my friend told me today that she couldn't get to their happy meeting like all the other women did because she drives a BMW convertible that is too low to the ground and Oklahoma just got another dose of snow.  She doesn't have my schedule either, but she sure does have a low rider BMW Convertible.  Hell I have a Buick my Mother passed down to me.  Oh I am grateful for sure... It rides high, has mudflaps (omg if I'm lyin I'm dyin) 136,000 miles on her, rust around that long frame underneath and a little on the door.  But its paid for. And it would get me to a meeting in the snow.  But would I rather have that BMW Convertible. Hell yes!  And I would also like her job too.  That job would be, you guessed it, no job...

Just For the Record.... by Diane Ogden

Now this would be Berdie... (see previous post if in question)

If I Die Before I Wake.... by Diane Ogden

If I die before I wake, someone better not use an ugly picture of me on the church bulletin or the newspaper obit or the funeral notice note card.   And I mean it too.  I do hope my God Father does not read this, or any of Berdie's close folks.  Although come on people...get real.  Didn't a one of you take a nice pic of Berdie in the few years.  I am appalled and embarrassed for Berdie.  She was a gorgeous woman most all of her life.  Even as she lay in the casket of which I should have taken a picture of just for this moment in earth time.  The hicks used the pic of her when she was admitted to the last dying mill (nurse home) and she had been sick.  I cant even keep it in my picture box it's so awful.  Her last picture for all who came to bid her farewell was kindly put icky poo.  I am sure Berdie doesn't care now....or does she?  Maybe she is laughing...  I don't think so at all.  Thank God the food they served at the funeral was good.  Really good by the way.  And the pastor knew her from their visits over the  many years.  That was good. But that picture "ain't" the Berdus (Berdie) he visited or I ever visited or any of her other relatives visited.  Whoever decided to use that piece of bad art may get a visit from Ms Berdie before she takes off for planets unknown.  They could have asked me, I am known as the picture lady as well as the "Happy News Lady!" Ya should have seen her all so pretty laying in that big box to be buried.  Hell they should display her somewhere as the most beautiful woman in the world for age 98!  Up there with Michael Jackson for God sakes... and all the other wax museum people.  They should have waxed Berdie for sure... Me, I would haunt the sucker that used that nasty pic on my last day here...of course unless God stepped in and told me to squash it D and move on....LLOL.  That means  "Lord Laughing Out Loud! Bet Berdie's not!

Blizzard of 2011 at My Window! by Diane Ogden

So this is Little Gracie Allen in a head on search for a place to make a morning poddie!  That poddie ended up smack dab in the center of  this sidewalk obviously, like where else was there to go? 
This event occured at 9:00 a.m. February 2, 2011 and as it did occur my mind wondered to the newspaper man that "usually" enters the residence around 4:00 a.m. and considering I live in the "dog building," what residents may have attempted to help their dogs relieve themselves before 5:00 a.m. which is when I overheard the little man with his little toy truck clearing the walks. Did you ever notice that girls don't have boy toys when they grow up, you know like little baby bulldozers, and little baby Caterpillar type plows,  and so on.  I guess someone has to be grown up but its still not fair.  Back to my point?  Where did those dogs go before 5:00 a.m?  The garage? Could be! 
The bottom photo is my apartment just to the left of the front door behind that humongous drift.

I Was Never a "House-Wife".....by Diane Ogden

House-wife!  What the H is that?  I could have said, What the heaven is that, but I don't relate the word House-wife to any sort of heaven I know of, in heaven or on earth.  House-wife! Sounds like someone who got married and then got housebound...locked up....stuck inside.... but then maybe that was the "way it was" in my prime of time life.  Now its House-wife of Orange County, or House-wives of New Jersey and Atlanta and so on.... Those House-wives are married to money.  Not men, money.  They don't wash dishes, clothes, or floors. They don't dust or clean a toilet, or cook, and they barely do their own hair for God in heaven's sakes, as my Grannie used to say. 
Those ladies just look pretty, rich, lucky and absolutely brilliant! Those are the Heaven's House-wives!
The others experienced something more like "Hell's Kitchen!" 

  DEFINITION: Housewife: 1) a woman, typically a married woman, who keeps house, usually without having paid employment. 2) The wife of a householder; the mistress of a family; the female head of a household.

photo from: http://www.fabbrunette.com/

P.S. Berdie died last night between 9:00 and 10:30 p.m Bye Bye Berdie I love you Forever

Bye Bye "Birdie" by Diane Ogden

No not Ann Margaret or Janet Leigh in the original movie, but Berdie, you  know, Berdus Knickmeier. (And that's me with her in the photo about ten years ago.) She is in room 261 at the Nazareth House which I don't think has been painted or refurbished in many many years.  Money I suppose. Isn't it always a matter of money?  Green paper? Be different if it were hard gold right before "me" eyes, but its Green Paper that rules the world and Berdie's dying mill where she lives.  I know I know, this isn't happy news from this lady today.  Hey my God Mother is dying in a room all by herself.  They check on her every hour and a half!  No one called Hospice because maybe they are just hick's, I don't know. No wait, the Green Paper is why no one called Hospice. Her Green Paper ran out.
Hey! Nurses did put an oxygen mask on her so she wasn't grey anymore. Now she can live another day in that joint, struggling to die. Hopefully they will give her the "big dose" unbeknown to anyone so she can cross over.  They told me she was crying for her Mama yesterday morning.  That would be Tillie, my Grandma.  Berdie is approximately 98 years old.  She was OK until she fell out of bed because Wisconsin Law doesn't allow the 1/2 length bed rails to be raised at night. Why that's called restraints.  Dumb ass law! Restraints is tying down, not protecting elderly who are like children from falling out of bed..  So Berdie fell out of bed on her head....bye bye Berdie....  I love you forever. P.S. that is the same Nurse Home (Dying Mill) my Dad went to for rehabilitation after knee surgery and almost died because they never moved him.  Maybe Alzheimer's isn't so bad.  At least you don't know your in that joint! And it only hurts the ones you love. Take your pic.