Burned Biscuits....an email forward

I have never forwarded a forward on my blog but this one is an exception: 
I do not know who wrote this but if I find out I will add their name to this post!

When I was a kid, my Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner
every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she
had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening
so long ago, my Mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely
burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if
anyone noticed!
Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my Mom and ask
me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that
night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that
ugly burned biscuit. He ate every bite of that thing... never made a
face nor uttered a word about it!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my Mom
apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget
what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits every now and then."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if
he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and
said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real
tired. And besides - a little burned biscuit never hurt anyone!"
As I've grown older, I've thought about that many times Life is
full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not the best at
hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like
everyone else. But what I've learned over the years is that learning
to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each others
differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a
healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
And that's my prayer for you today... that you will learn to take the
good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the
feet of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able
to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker!
We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is
the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or
friendship!
"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - keep
it in your own."
So, please pass me a biscuit, and yes, the burned one will do just fine.

I Slept with Andrew and Ben For Two Days! by Diane Ogden

 I thought I should have to learn how to find a food pantry this week.
You know one of those churches where the food is all outdated and they stand there and tell you just how much you can have. I only know because someone told me!
I lost ten Andrews and two Ben's for two days.  I searched my apartment top to bottom including trash. I searched my Buick, my purse, and my brain.  I started worrying I might have the big brain A disease and I don't mean Aides either.  I mean the forget who you are and where you been one.  I went ahead and went to my million dollar hair cut appointment with faith, (not foolish faith) that I would find all my Andrews and Ben's somewhere and if I didn't I would  not stress my usual, I would merely suck it up and sit until the next payday.  I came home from the hair doo deal and also stopped to purchase half a million in ink for the printer in case that is all I had to do all weekend.
I took my recycled ink to store and they gave me $6 which I don't get for two months in the form of a check by mail.  S H U T U P!  I needed that $6 this week people. That is when I noticed I was down to $7 in the wallet. I went home, watched a movie, burned some sage to clear the mental air of feeling "broke," and went to bed.  Often when I burn sage and breath a couple minutes of it, diluted in the air of course, I have amazing dreams. (I learned that from the Indians, in a book of course, not that I have person Indian friends.) One of those dreams of which I am writing a novel from.  Truth.  This night I had a nice peaceful sleep with no worries of Andrew and his brothers and or Ben or upcoming hunger.  I woke at 6:30 a.m. thinking I did not want to rise and shine. Thinking about what I would do for two days with without the "boys."  That is when the sage in the back of my brain from the night before said VERY QUIETLY, almost unrecognizably that it was time for me to wash the pink blanket I was covered with. Then I saw paper bills under the blanket IN MY MIND.  Then I forgot all that as quickly as I thought it. They say the spirit works that way.  I got out of bed, looked at the little dog laying on the pink blanket, not wanting to disturb her but did anyway. I flipped the corner of the pink blanket up and back and OMG there was three of the brothers and one Big Ben!  My mind scrambled.  I looked down and at my feet were more and under the bed more.  I love it when I find more money than I thought I even had.  Of course I keep track of my money.  I let up for one evening and bingo dingo cant do that ever again.  Into the red pouch when not in front of my shining face! The face now facing that marvelous martha money.  (Martha S is rich remember even though she has a horrible personality, she is rich none the less) And I do associations of the brain if you recall.  I am so happy I can pay my cell phone bill with Ben, and buy food and gas with the Andrews Brothers!  And there be some cash flow left over from last weeks labor.  Maybe I'll get that Keurig Coffee machine I have wanted for so long.  No wait, I have to send money to the prison for son number #1.   That's a diff blog, another day.  Need I say what the good news for today is!  Smokie some natural sagie and find monies! 

Esther's Bloody Knee's, The Colonel Disappears by Diane Ogden

I guess it 's time for another Esther and the Colonel update.  My smarty phone has been bombed the last few days regarding Hester and Cherry.  Cherry is Hester's sister and Esther's other female child.  Cherry stays away from Hester pretty much. Says Hester is out of the loop, crazy, nutzo.  Cherry has a child named Lexus.  I know, I know, its a car.  They couldn't afford the car so they named the unexpected child Lexus. This is her car and her workshop in the photo. Of course I am embarrassed for knowing these people.  Yet, it's good material for the part of my brain that searches the earth for humor.  These people fit the bill perfectly.  Couldn't find a closer fit to Archie Bunker and family if I worked at it.
So.... one of Esther's calls is near frantic.  Hester has borrowed her car again and while backing it out of the garage she hits the wall and cracks the mirror housing on the passenger side.  OMG (that means Oh My God!) for the lone one person that doesn't know that.  OMG, Esther is anal about her Buick.  It's not a new one and she has it detailed, new paint job, any imperfections repaired including the undercarriage of the old Buick she calls "Inez."  Not my choice of car names for sure...but then I wouldn't name my child Hester either.  The car mishap is a major issue, but Hester's living arrangements are even more major.  She wants Esther to go with her to talk to her landlord who has evicted Hester for living in nutzville while at his complex.  But Hester has the "goods" on this "Clyde" considering she worked for him for three years before he figured out she was off the charts and needed a lobotomy for sure, to be able to even co exist on earth, much less his complex.  Yet no white truck with men in white suits has arrived.  Nope.  The chicken spined landlord has actually let her talk him into staying longer.  Even though he has letters from frightened tenants, threats to him from Hester herself, he's had to change locks due to her paranoid psychotic fear of the delivery man, her threats to sue the phone company because they broke into her apartment and put bugs in all her wall outlets and phones, her threats to sue him because she is a disabled person!  And the list goes on.  But he let her stay.  I feel so protected! Especially when she stops her car and screeches to me, "Forgive me, I was wrong!"  I just look away thinking, "You are one of the ones who flew over, no landed in the coo coo's nest. Esther is on her knees and has been until they are bloody....asking God to please move Hester across the pond, or at least North to Alaska.  I told Esther that might cost her more considering the distance.  She said no way Alaskan Hose'.  Head her up and move her out! 
I have to tell you I am watching Esther shake herself to death.  And The Colonel is just leaving the area of his home and den/cave every chance he gets.  Maybe I am a drama queen cause I actually look forward to Esther's chit so I can find laughter in this world.  Sad I find it in this psychotic mess.  Humm I might should rather search out some support group.  Or not.  Oh, Lynn next door had her boobs done.  They are now el natural!  She isn't so sure they are big enough though.  Huh?

photo from: www.nb-fotosw.de  

Troubles Build Character! by Diane Ogden

As a person passes thru each decade, be it two or six or eight or ten, they always hear the words, "Tough times build character!"  S H U T - U P already.   I have heard that saying for a couple more than a few decades.  I want you all to know that is why I have slowly become quite the character!!

 That is the only excuse I can think of.  When bad things happen to good people its to build their character so I have heard??   When tragedy strikes it will build you!!   When you lose everything, don't worry, your getting built!  And boy am I built.  Then after more decades of character building, your mind and body stay characterized, however your character body begins to wilt in all areas, inside and out....but boy do you die with one heck of character. Probably because it is so tired of working at its character.

 If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it round. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and had better be on speaking terms with it. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

I am not on speaking terms with trouble.  Well, maybe a little.  That is why I am such character.  I am a builder....a character builder.  I run from it but it has a bigger motor than I do and it chases me. 
I would have the home with the two white rockers and the garden if I weren't such a character! (builder, that is)
I say those people who made up those sayings are nutz.  But then there is an excuse and/or a reason for everything including troubles.  I am sure troubles is just another word for a glass half FULL, (of troubles that is)   Just kidding of course.  Me, I have all I need.....of troubles that is.  Just kidding I said.

Associated Bank plus Jake! by Diane Ogden

I stopped at the bank today to do some regular business.  I told the teller I sent a nasty email to said bank for charging me to transfer my own money from one account to another!  The teller turned to a young man saying, "She is mad at you! She emailed you this morning!"  The young banker man said, "I don't even know her. I didn't do anything!"  The teller and I finalized the smart transaction of less than a million $. I was about to leave when banker man asked why I was mad at the bank.  I told him, so he invited me to his big fancy banker desk (I have one too) to research the theft of my own $ issue.  While he was checking me out, nawh, I mean my account of course cause I am a couple decades beyond him... I began to tell him that if I met him on the street I would know he was a very competitive man, possibly his own worst enemy, and possibly a critical person whose numbers and energies will help him get wherever he wants and needs to be in life.  His eyes got quite large.  I continued to do a numerological reading for him and his eyes continued to grow quite large.  He was amazed because I was right on! Then we did his X girlfriend whom he is not over, (a 3 year relationship ended by phone??) yet he is with a new love, who I did a numerological reading for!  eeww.  He makes calculated decisions, not from the heart nor from the HEAD and HEART!  Poor kid.  Possibly I poked him enough to where he might find his true self.  Not sure. He used to be a pro baseball boy who became injured and ended up a banker man.  Sucks for him he says. I say he just needs to wake up and live without the continual calculations.  Odd thing was my daughter stopped in at the bank that same day and told me she sat with a hot banker for two hours who helped her with some issues. Odd? Ya think?  My daughter lives in a different city, and I never stop and sit with banker boys.  humm
photo from: www.mennoweekly.org

A Little New Orleans on Sommers Street, Madison, WI by Diane Ogden

Sometimes I enjoy simply taking photos of things that make me happy when I look at them.
These statues grace a home on Sommers Street in Madison, Wisconsin.  I was hoping to capture the stream of water pouring into her handheld cup.  There were many more statues in the back yard but it was gated.

This is a normal home approximately one hundred and many years old.  It has been turned into two apartments upstairs and I suspect the owners live downstairs. 

Isn't the boy in knickers walking his bike under the Victorian light post AMAZING?  

I give these owners mega kudos for sharing their passion with all of us who drive by and live close.  The flowers around the house are equally amazing as the statues.  It must be blessed!

Lynn's Upgraded Porch! by Diane Ogden

This is Lynn's week for out with the old and in with the new.

That would be her old porch to the left (new on the right) which included an empty wooden bookshelf, a hot pink bucket, a snow shovel, (It would August right now) and the infamous metal folding chair which has caused her bottom some serious degree burns on occasion considering the porch is facing West afternoon sunshine.  I kept hinting what stores had comfy cheap chairs on sale.  She said, "OK!" Yet nothing month after month.  (Remember its August now)

Lynn informs me that mid week she will be going into re-do surgery.  I said, "Re-do what?"  She told me her boobs.  OMG!  New boobs because the old ones are slippin, well one is anyway, and the new national trend is back to the old national trend called silicone.  El-Na-tu-ral! But El-painful, under the muscle and over the something else.  I forget.  Her nurse friend is coming to nurse her back to health.  Not sure I like those words considering we are talking boobs.  Start overs:  Her friend who is in the nursing profession will be staying with her during her recovery time.  Considering this fact Lynn must have figured her porch needed a lift too? OMG did you catch that? Me too.  Sooo she calls me on the smart phone and tells me she got a new chair or two on sale.  I said I would be right out with my camera and my dog.  And by godly if she didn't clean porchville.  She even bought a new LED porch lite. This would be Lynn covering her head because I am always taking pictures of her when she has no make up on.  Wait until I get the after surgery shots!  No I wont do that, maybe.

Just think, it took surgery to get this done.  Oh and no more hot butts on this porch. Well, you know what I mean.  With all these upgrades going on Lynn is "liable" to get herself a new boy toy and an invite to the local Frosty Ball this here year!

I can tell you she is lhao as she reads that last line.  (laughing her a__ off)