I Spent a Dime........by Diane Ogden

I have not spent a dime in two years easy.  I have spent a few quarters but only because I had to for a parking meter. Today I spent a dime because all I had was a twenty dollar bill along with a one dollar bill and  the checkout lady told me I owed $21.10 cents. Bought killed me over to give that woman one of the dimes laying in the bottom of my purse. Why?  Because I used to save coins as a ssort of "Christmas fund."  Then the children grew up.  But I started doing it again recently.
This stash of I would guess is close to $500 and will go for a fancy pair of eyeglasses I have been wanting for four years.  I suspect if I don't "get on it" the glasses will be discontinued.  A bit of procrastination going on and anyway I am having trouble parting with my stash.  It's like hoarding.  I am hoarding coins of value.  I hoard baby food jars for no reason although I did donate several hundred of those to a local daycare for the children to mix up their paints.  I don't hoard anything else. Since then I only have saved about fifty baby food jars.  What is the difference between hoarding and saving?  
Webster says that  Pathological or compulsive hoarding is a specific type of behavior characterized by acquiring and failing to throw out a large number of items ... (eeww baby food jars)
Webster says to save is to put aside as a store or reserve : accumulate
Not so sure eyeglasses are an emergency as I have two pair of regular eye glasses already.  So What!  Its my hoard of savings.  How I am going to carry this money to the coin machine is another issue.  A dollie, a wagon, (I don't have a wagon.)  I could pour it on a bed sheet, tie up the top and drag it down the hall to the elevator, across the floor to the car........wait, no way to get it into the car.  Even on a dollie or a wagon, no way to get it into the car.  Now what?   Wonder if BRINKS would stop by if I called. 
The happy news involved here is that I have a poop-load or so of money.  (Lack of a better term)

Stop Trying to Kill Me.......by Diane Ogden

I have been receiving emails from a couple different health "so they say" sources ....
I also watch Dr. Oz if I get home in time.....
Sometimes I catch the show, The Doctors.....
I have a couple health books on Green Nutrition...
I take my vitamins and exercise. (okay sometimes)
But come on, get real, take a break, think again, seriously!
Tonight I received an email or should I say a talking email video, line by line trying to frighten me saying NOT to take my regular vitamins with certain foods.  Okay I was listening but only because I DUH wanted to hear what was coming next.  Scary music on the background, deep voice over fellow saying.....Are you taking zinc? Well then make sure you do not eat too much such and such or you will get ZINC-I-TUS and that could be serious!  And make sure you don't eat such and such while taking Selenium or you will get Seileniumitus...  They even had the nerve to tell me to turn my speakers up because it was going to be shocking.  I am not kidding. They told me it might KILL me.  It could be lethal if I mixed too much lettuce with a certain vitamin.   What are they thinking besides GREED.  Trying to get me to think I am dumb and buy their dummerness.  OMG I remember that movie.  I truly can hardly believe the emails I am getting.  They remind me of my bank who thinks I do not know they are seriously holding back my bills and gasoline debit payments for days plus the weekend so I think I have more $ (cash flow) then I really truly have.  Heck, days pass and in a fast moving society we forget and that is what the corp's are BANKING on!  Maybe I will go viral and expose their dirty tactics.  Or maybe I will just move on to a local credit union.  I wonder if they use this poor man's low balance tactic.  I bet those big boys have a button they push for people with less than $1,000 in their checking accounts.  It's the middle class hard working folks that don't get what the Corporate bankers are doing that pee-disses me off.  I have learned to watch my checking account like a hawk on a ring of bologna.  Esther taught me that bad line. You know Esther of Esther and the Colonel?  The happy news is I am not going to die from taking my vitamins unless they are from China and have fillers of asphalt in them.  The China vitamin filler video I might just listen to! Do read the post "The Blue Douche from China!"  Check out this site regarding banks manipulating YOU.
http://www.wisebread.com/banks-manipulate-your-transactions-may-charge-you-1750-overdraft-fee

Dumpster Diving..........By Diane Ogden

My Granddaughter was visiting one weekend.  She so happened to have brought her sweet young and ready to please the NanaD boyfriend.  Had he any idea what was in store for him he would have high-tailed it out of dodge.  I love the dodge thing, reminds me of the old westerns we all used to love.  Sort of like the Ford-Man I love!  Okay back to my point.  Before the Grand Daughter and her man-boy got here I took the garbage down to the huge stinky rotten bins in the small icky garbage room where my dog, if I take her, rolls her nose in the crap near the drain.  Obviously I do not take her with me to that room "down there" anymore.  I had my apartment, mail, car, trunk, building entrance, safe, jewel box, keys on a squibbly ring so as not to lose it.  You see I used to have a vehicle with keyless entry and I knew if I didn't watch it close I would lose my keys.  I did!  When I threw the garbage bad into the horrid dumpster the keys flew in along with it.  I did not realize this at that moment.  The Grand showed up with the man-boy.  I had realized my serious loss before they arrived and was contemplating plan b or c.  It was then that I recalled the last time I had keys.  And it was then that I looked into the youthful and willing to please eyes of Grands man-boyfriend.  He said, with all the masculinity he could muster considering his knees were still larger than his legs and he still was eating three plates of food a meal.  A man-boy aimin' to please and I took total advantage of his aimin' to please deal.  We carried my step stool down to the lower level (garbage room) where he opened it up and climbed to the top step, leaned over into the garbage and began rummaging.... did I feel guilty.  Sure. But not too bad because I didn't know him too well and it wasn't mwah!!  BINGO we got lucky as the garbage men had come the day before so the bin was fairly empty...and I got my keys back with little or no crap on me-self.  By the way, the may-boy is no longer the Grands boyfriend.  Hope I didn't have anything to do with that.  What's the good news?  He's gone. I have my keys...  ALSWELL

p.s.  I suppose I should take a new pic of my license plate as I am up to 2012 now stickers

"The Wedgie".......by Diane Ogden

 First of all let me say assuredly neither of these pictures are mwah.  Yet it sure felt like it this morning after I showered, threw my robe on and then a big stadium coat over the robe to take the dog out for a podie poo event.
Of course I looked weird but it gets the dog out before she goes inside, considering its winter and the carpet and the grass are the same color.  At least that is my excuse if she has an accident because I did not move fast enough to get her out.  That is why I go out in my robe covered with a big coat early.  Come summer I will have to come up with plan B.  Back to my point cause I am always getting off my point. 
Picture this 8 x 10 glossy.  Me outside bending over to pick up doggie doo's poo, then coming back to an upright position and immediately feeling the WEDGIE wad!  OMG I am outside in public because I am standing in the front yard of a large complex where a large number of people live and even if only one were looking out the window......no way was I going to dig out that hunk of terrycloth stuck in my butt. Nope no way.  So I waddled back inside like a stuffed duck, ripped that huge stadium coat off that goes nose to toes, and grabbed that wad outta there before it became a permanent fixture like those Wal Mart people.   How in the achhh eee double ell can men or women wear those thongs cause that is what a permanent wedgie is!! It's like rope over your private part. Why I ask? Why?  It hurts, it rubs, and it just "aint" normal.  If it were I wouldn't have worked so hard and fast to get back in the house to get it out of that private place.  Getting it out of the private place outside wouldn't be so private would it?   I do have to admit that I have a couple of pair of undies that are too big (thank God and myself) and they give the gift of a silk wedgie so I put a red dot on them and filed then in a box called "in case I ever need."  The cheeks would have to grow first and that 'aint' gonna happen.

"What was this girl thinking?"  Notsomuch cause it appears her left lobe and right lobe sank to lower levels.  Sorry whoever you are.  The picture is from http://www.poorlydressed.com/   Ya think?

The Secret Of The Universe

Twins .......continued.......by Diane Ogden

And so it continues.......
That room used to be called a "Sun Room" as it has windows facing the afternoon sun on two sides.  Just figure that window thing out, it works. Check out the before and after pics. Soooo....naturally I have a lot of plants who live out there and love it.
The plant laying on the floor was run over by the twin with the striped socks and the 70's flowered silk p.j.'s standing over it.   The part of the picture missing is the metal stand the brass potted plant was resting happily on before the massacre.  Also to the rear of it lay a pine tree on its side.  

The guilty twin kept saying she was sorry.  Of course I said it's alright honey, at which time she told me she wasn't talking to me, she was telling the dirt she was sorry.  Okie Dokie and I just ignored that.  Do notice the suede and fur Pottery Barn throw lying very close to said dirt! Frightening.
She actually cleaned it all up on her own after I handed her a large spoon and the hose end of the vacuum as well as showing her where the off button was when she finished. 

Then we all walked down to the apt. bin to get the queen size euro bed and as I watched them sit on it while it was blowing up, they noticed my little dog "humping' my cat and the twin squealing started. (sorry no photo of dog humping cat, although there is a video in bad taste)  That is when the one twin told me how Mason tried to hump her in the hall at school just like that.  I said, "What? What did you do?"   She told me she said,  eeewww! I also heard about Marc humping Jason's head at recess.  And I was shown a visual on how that looks.  Just what I needed to see.  Not! 
Is this happy news? You bet it is. No one's sick or dying and all is pretty normal wouldn't you agree?  The dog humps the cat, Grandkids tip over plants, little boys will be humping whatever they can find for infinity, and we have a ero bed they are pretending is a magic carpet and the other grand is sending me text drawings from afar. Its all good news.

The Little Dolls from Puerto Rico........by Diane Ogden

So one Grand stayed overnight Friday, was picked up at 3:00 p.m. today and two more were dropped off!  Holy twins, and one with a horrible cough someone tell me I will get some sleep tonight?  Oh,wait, son left two bottles of medicine with post it notes saying, "Do Not Give Whole Bottle!"  I think that was a joke....
The twins brought with them two little PuertoRican dolls that appeared to be hand sewn.  Cutest little buggers.  I said, "How cool are these, as I picked up the bloomers to check the details on how well they were made.  (I used to make little dolls that were similar so I felt as tho I had some quality control status on this here subject)  As I lifted the left bloomer leg I noticed a tag. Said tag read, "MADE IN INDIA!"   I tell you I started to laugh as I read it to my son who just stood there before me with the most dumbfounded look on his face I have seen in years.  He said, "I specifically asked that man if these dolls were made local and he assured me they were."  Yes son and I will sell you that bridge in Arizona or whatever that country song says. 
At that point I offered to CUT the tag off the left leg-ged PuertoRican doll from India.  I suspect he could have picked those up at a truck stop outside of town if he'd wanted to wait til he got home. 

Me, I didn't even get a T-shirt made in China from Puerto Rico.  It's okay, they put bad stuff in their cotton I hear.  And I am glad the girls are too old for show and tell or this would fall into the category of "Your Dad got snookered kids."  Shhhh they'll never know.  And I found my happy news for the day.