The Lights Went Out.....Only on the Guage I Needed....by Diane Ogden

This would be the dash of my Buick!  My Buick with a broken gas gauge as you can see on the right it reads YELLOW HELLO EMPTY!  So vs taking the dash apart at a fee of nearly $1,000 to fix that gauge, I opted to use the trip set.  Every 300 miles I fill it up again.  Suddenly the other day the lights went out on the digital trip set/mileage/Park Nuetral Reverse Drive 1 2 3 or something like that.  I cant even tell if I am in N or D!  And I cannot tell when I need an oil change.  So I ran over to Meineke and then the Auto Parts Store where a nice young man checked my fuses and then told me the digital "Died" in my dash.  Humm.  He said a back yard mechanic could by pass the gauge.  Huh? I said.  For now I will have to put gas in every few days.  How fun.  At least the price of gas wont seem as high as it really is.  I am kinda mad that particular light or digital died.  I could have lived easier without a speedometer, or the heat light.  But no the gear/mileage/tripset decided to croak.  Okay I'm fine.  It certainly could have been worse.....  Maybe I will just go and buy a new car.  Then again, maybe not.  No car payment is worth a lot of mental peace!  The old saying,
Why fix it if it isn't broke is an intelligent saying?  The Buick isn't broke, it is only wounded slightly so we're good, me and the Buick.  So until next time or I find something really funny, be safe, be happy, and be well, and for the sake of a good life, get rich so you can have working gauges in your car. Or so you can buy a new one.

Doctors, Lawyers, and Candlestick Makers.....by Diane Ogden

I have been in the service industry for many years. That means about five point five.  In that time I have accumulated some amazingly wonderful clients.  Many Physicians, Doctors of this and that, Scientists, Computer Program Engineers, Lawyers, a minister, a famous congressman, and even one that works with Michelle Obama...  I am an amazingly lucky human being.  I love observing people.  You see I gave up on the participating with human beings such as family and husbands and children because the "let down" is what I consider a badlife experience.  Now I make sure I am in "OBSERVE MODE" which means no drama.   And its fun.  Like sitting at the mall at the food court and watching the many faces of the many people go by.  And I mean that in wide terms. Or like making a Wal Mart run.  Oh la la nasty sometimes.  So what's my point?  I have taken serious notice during said observations that my Doctors are on some different level than my Lawyers and such.  The Doctors are down to earth.  Basic.  They do have a lot of cash flow but its used differently.  I have other clients who spend on hair, accessories, box wine, parties.  Others who are x hippies and don't use bleach, or any chemicals whatsoever which is great.  There are those who travel more than they are home. I see it all.  It is hard to explain how I see these wonderful people all on different levels of life on earth and I appreciate them all.  Yet the doctors seem to all be on the same plane / same playing field.  I am no Freud but looks like there might be something to this observation  VS the ones that like to play miniature Jersey Housewives.  Uh-huh...now your getting it.   I still like my imitation Atlanta/Jersey/L.A. Housewives hey comeon... they give me joy and some great ideas or dreams whichever, both are good.  But the docs give me hope!  They are real.  They are no flash, no fancy, they see life and death every day which makes them honor LIFE more and honor other human beings more.  They don't have the need for imitation anything.  (At least the clients I have and know.)  I am impressed! Not that I am not impressed with the non doctor clients believe me. I have the best of the best.   Thank you Universe.  So be happy, be safe, and be well until I find something else to chat about.  Oh and get rich so you can get some fancy flashy "stuff" as well as see a doctor and pay for it in case you don't work for some large corporation who mingles with another large corporation insurance company.  If you don't fit into the loop you in big trouble.  Today I was prescribed a small tube of creme which costs $175.00 which my insurance decided not to cover. I cant walk without it.  Not funny huh? I am laughing by the way.  Because I am one of the luckiest people on earth.  Just look at that list of clients. 

FIFTY SHADES OF GUS........ by Diane Ogden

So I had an appointment at my Gynecologist today due to some issues "down there."  You know in the private package area.  They told me I needed to have a private package ultrasound which meant they would use a "PROBE" to probe the area to view any abnormalities.  Sounded like an abnormal procedure to find abnormalities.  No matter what I thought it had to be done and so it was.  I was laying there watching Patsy (yes a woman) prepare for the test.  I found myself looking around at the equipment and noticed the name of the machine that was going to probe me is called GUS!  I said to Patsy, "So, the probes name is GUS huh?  A man?"  She started laughing and told me that was the abbreviation for the manufacturer.  Glutaraldehyde User Station.  I said, "Really, well no matter cause Gus and I are about to meet and on top of that I have to pay for GUS the user?"  And she continued laughing.  Well better Gus than Pretty Patty Probe for sure.  She asked me if I wanted to insert GUS.  Really?  Notsomuch Thank you, I have my own hello kitty "gus" at home.  And again she found herself laughing. I was not because GUS and I were now one and being watched.  Felt like 50 Shades of Gus.  Results:  ALSWELL as my nine year old license plate says. Although doc says the ovaries are shrinking.  I said, "Really, like shriveling up? He nodded. I said, "Don't laugh your shriveling day is coming to Doc."  So be well, be happy, be safe, and get rich so you can pay a real hot GUS to come be one with.  Nasty Nasty.....just kidding of course.

Where's the Dentist?

It would be easier for me to find a monkey to look into my mouth than a real board certified dentist these days.  Every one of them so far....... wants a full mouth x-rays that cost as much as a bad used car.  Then they want a treatment plan which cost as much as a new car.  Or here's a biggy!  You can go your city's covered stadium center and stand with approximately 5,000 people waiting to lay down in one of 300 pre set up reclining chairs to get minimal care.  Such as pulling that tooth you have been trying to find a dentist to save without paying him your life savings.  Do you get it?  Its POLITICAL!  The Dentist is now a corporation.  The Dentist corporation pays the Insurance corporation.  The only thing being built in my city is Health Care offices, Banks, and Insurance Companies.  They have a game plan and it is working.  Against me of course.  If I lived closer to the Mexican border I would cross it and get my TOOTH fixed for a reasonable amount.  Or if I could find a monkey, that might work too.  I can remember "the good ole days."  The days when you could charge milk and bread at the corner store for your parents.  When your dentist cared about your pain and fixed you and got paid a reasonable amount. When the doctor could spend some time with you vs 15 minutes/get out now! ! @ $175+.  When no one got sued for smiling wrong. And yadda yadda yadda.  It is what is!  Anyone know where I can find a monkey-dentist? 

Well until next time when I run into something funny, wrong, or life changing, be well, be safe, and be happy and for the love of God and the Universe and your teeth - GET RICH so you can pay the greedy bastards to fix your teeth.  p.s. Costs over $3,000 for one crown and implanted tooth.  ONE!!  And that's not a root canal which costs around $2,000.  ONE TOOTH.  GREED!  Simple Greed.

 Where have all the dentists gone, good time cleanings,

where have all the dentists, long time ago!

Who wrote that song?

First Day of Effing School..................by Diane Ogden

I hated school.  I hated my second grade teacher Mrs. Shit I forgot her name!  How could I forget the woman that spanked me in front of the whole class.  She pulled up my dress and hit me with a paddle showing my underware. Then she put me in the bathroom alone in a corner.  Yes indeed.  Mrs. Bergman.  Ha I remembered your name dead old lady!  See when do bad stuff people remember forever.  I forgive you but I remember.  And that was only second grade.  Then there was 4th grade Mrs. Kesnick who slapped me across my face in front of the entire class.  Nope not a Catholic School, just the old days...  50's.  Then there was the wonderful Mr. Horvath who took extra time to help me in math....  quiet old man I honor to this day....  Then it was pretty much downhill due to a dyslexia issues. Which brings me to the title, first day of effing school.  I called my grands tonight to say "Hey how was your first day?"  I heard good from one Granddaughter, and bad from the twin Granddaughters.  One twin told me her bestie made ten new friends and she made no new ones.  The other twin said, "Not so good Nana, so and so made fun of me." Yet they have their lockers next to each other and they have lunch together and recess.  I didn't think 5th graders had recess anymore.  I told them they were soooo lucky to have those times together. (womb time hello!) The girls have learning challenges so I sure understand. But they are totally creative brained, forgot if that is left or right, and that will get them far in life. They just don't know it yet.  That is  if given the proper confidence and social skills, it will.

So my little precious people's first day.... God and all the good spirits be with you your first days of school. It's not easy but you can do it.  I pray for the millions of you that you have someone to tell you YOU CAN DO IT and no matter your learning challenges there is a way for YOU.  As there was for me. There were less than one handful to tell me I could do it, and I pray there are a bountiful to tell you because times have changed....BUT NOT ENOUGH. I send you lil ones a great day tomorrow. And I send you big ones the same!  Be well, be happy, be safe, and get rich so it doesn't matter.  That's America now.  $ makes it not matter. duh

A Present Memory.............by Diane Ogden

I know we don't live in Los Angeles, but just think of all those cars and in each car is one to six human beings.  All with a different life, different clothing, different thinking patterns, different DNA, different furniture, different taste buds, different parents, different cars, different shoes, and on and on.

When I was a child of about seven I recall riding in the back seat with no seat belt by the way (as it wasn't even an issue), watching people in other cars.  I still like to watch people in other cars except now I am driving which makes it more difficult yet no less appealing.   I do the same thing at the mall, at restaurants, at car washes, just everywhere  I see people. And I see them as though they were an extension of me.  Like if they were looking at me and I was looking back and could see through them.  I would be a stranger to them as they are to me.Yeah, so what?  I will tell you what.  All those strangers have a house or apartment, they have everything I said in the beginning of this post.  They are just like me. Living.  Only each and every one of them is different.  Don't you ever look at someone driving next to you and wonder what their life is like?  Do they wonder what mine is like?  Do they wonder if  I am happy, or sad, or if I just lost a loved one, or if  they loved dogs or trained horses, or were planning a trip, cooking out tonight, if they have cancer? Most don't wonder or care.  Why do I care? I just do.....Not that I am obsessive about it.  It's just interesting.  Most take every day for granted. So do I sometimes, but maybe not as much as most.  Yet I do wonder if those that don't care are less stressed. Not sure.  I am what I am.  I am a people watcher and yes I do laugh at the Wal Mart people every chance I get!  China would NEVER import our Wal Mart folks, yet we import their people...and products.   I think we should put our Wal Mart folks on a fast boat to China to get back at them for all the bad fish etc. they send us.  Oh, what do I know ?   That this post may not mean much to you until the next time you are driving on the freeway, no radio on, looking at the guy driving next to you, behind you, in front of you.  They are just another you! Maybe you could wish them well as you pass them.... So until then, or my next revelation or memory, be well, be safe, and be happy.  If I were any more happy today I would start floating!  And, oh, get rich so you can drive a nice car while you people watch.  

Where's My Dad?...........by Diane Ogden

I haven't written much lately.  Maybe it  has something to do with my Dad dying.  He died.  I don't think I know it yet and it has been since June 21st at 10:30 in the morning.  I remember where I was and what I was doing same as I remember where and what I was doing when John F. Kennede was assassinated.  I don't remember where I was when Elvis died. That is weird. Back to my place and point.  I did not race to the farm to view the dead body like everyone else did, I am sure to my disgrace, family dynamics and all. I did not go up to the casket and kiss the pasty spiritless body goodbye.  I did not get too close to the hearse and touch the big iron body catcher before it took Dad away and incinerated what was left of his earthly existence.  I just stood there for the funeral and while the family went with the body and box to the hearse.  Wonder if that is called drama, or if its respect?  Both?  I just knew I couldn't do it.  I have PTSD from life.  Ha.  My life has been so challenged I get to name the effects it has had on me!  Yet I laugh and am thankful and carry on always hoping for some relief.  I learned in school that during the war people went on "Relief." You know where the government gives you bread and water and vouchers.  Looks like that might happen again. Cant they come up with any new ideas?  Again back to my point.  Where is my Dad?  Did he get to float up some invisible (to us) stairway to heaven?  Is he stuck in the fancy Urn sitting on top the TV shelves at the funny farm? Is he the bat that kept banging on his bedroom door so mother let it in and shut the door never to open it again since.  Is he wandering around alone?  Is he afraid?  Is he in some city we cant see with golden streets and beautiful smells and colors unknown to us?  Or did he turn right around and jump in someones womb and is on his way back?  Is he watching over me?  Did his bad habits stay on earth and the good ones go to heaven?  Was he the baby bat that got into my house right after he died ?  Was he the bumble bee that sat on my son's leg for over an hour communicating with him? (My son believes we are all one)  Is he next to me right now?  Can he make things happen to help me now that he is gone?

Not sure I believe any of it. Or maybe I believe all of it.  I do believe when people die only the body dies.  The spirit lives on.  Maybe  not on golden streets and probably there is no St. Peter at a white gate letting some in and others not.  The moth changes to the butterfly, the sperm and the egg change into a human being with amazing intricate parts that all work together in a way so called a miracle and so...taken for granted.  Why wouldn't I believe in something "far out."  My Dad is probably somewhere far out there hopefully enjoying his spirit life.  Bet he doesn't have PTSD where he is.  The Long Island Psychic says he is here.... he might want to tell me one or two little sentences they say, and then he disappears!  To where?

I guess I'll find out some day.  No guessing about it.  So until next time, be safe, be well, and be happy.  Oh, get rich so you don't have to go on  "relief." ha