Mr. Spider Meets His Demise! ......by Diane Ogden

This spider was not on the bath mat hanging over the shower rod!!  It was SUSPENDED from the ceiling and it was spinning it web for ME!   I walked into my bathroom and nearly hit this little bugger head on!  I stopped DEAD in my tracks as he was eye level......  Who wants to have a head on collision with a spider in your bathroom?  Not me.   I am sooo happy I caught sight of that lil bugger before we hit.  eeww eeeww eeeww...  That said, I grabbed some tissue and squished Mr. Spider inside it and then flushed his sorry soul down the toilet.  You see I usually take Mr. Spider's outside and let them go and let them live.  Not this time!  He was in my space literally.  And my bathroom is close to my bed!  So he's dead.  No need to worry.  Later, it's late! Be safe!  nite

Autumn Leaves ....................by Diane Ogden

Creative title huh?  Notsomuch! Who cares because today I am still alive for another years changing of the leaves.  My Granddaughter spent the weekend with me and while on a couple errands she got my camera out of my purse which I never leave the house without.  I tend to prefer my cannon sure shot to my Samsung Galaxy II for better pics.....  Anyway she started taking photos out the car window while we were driving.  Car moving and all!  I did stop at our local Channel 3 WISC-TV parking lot in Madison Wisco where it sits atop a hill.  While there my Granddaughter stood on the edge of an area of the car one would have called the running board in the "olden days,"  and took some still shots.  The rest are while the car was moving.  Grand is twelve years old and did a fine job. 

All these pictures are less than a mile from where I live.  Glad I am on the outskirts of the city this time of year.... The weeping willows and covered wagon are just down the road.  None of the pictures are retouched except that one.  I enhanced the green some. Enjoy!

I Lived Before I Lived..................by Diane Ogden

Betcha think I am De-Ranged like a caged chicken, which is probably more understandable to the masses, "Should be locked up in padded room??"  Nope!  Listen to me.   I lived before, here, before I was born here again.  And yes I believe in God. In fact I love God dearly.  And no I don't believe my body has become inhabited by some spirit that is making me think I lived before. Nope!  Ever since I was a child I knew I drowned "before." I could not learn to swim, I could not stand the bathtub water too high as it took my breath away.  I could not drink water too long or I would recall drowning. I cannot even watch too many water shows or shows with water in them on TVor water accidents. And so on.  God forbid I took an accidental trip down the rapids in Steamboat Springs one year.  I was tricked! Thought I was going to Vegas.
 And every time I hear a train whistle I cry.  I recall the trains from the war.  The 40's.  I sing a song called, "I'm Comin Home Sweet Willie,"  that I cannot find written anywhere and which affects me deeply. Guess its my writing from "before."

Sweet Willie

 I'll be comin home to you Sweet Willie,

I'm comin home to you..

 

When the grass is green and the fields are yellow,

I'll be comin home to you.

 

Please don't fear Sweet Willie,

The Time is near,

I'm comin home to you...

 

For the War is old and forgotten by many...

It took you from me too soon..

 

So be patient dear and please do not fear...

I'm comin home to you....

 

We have a love that's forever and deep as the sea,

With eagerness I await thee...

Be it death or life, be it you or me...

I'm comin home to you...

 

Where the valley light meets the dusk of day,

I'm comin home to you....

 

I will never stop till the day is nay...

where I meet you on the other side...

 

Be it floods or famine or a gunshot wound,

I welcome the end in sight.

 

For my love is like the ocean deep

For it brings us always for keeps....

 

I'll be comin home to you sweet Willie,
I'm comin home to you...

When the grass is green and the fields are yellow..

I'll be comin home to you...

 I'll be comin home to you....

 Sweet Willie

 
 I can dance like they danced before I was born again.  Just naturally do it.  When I see a movie and the girl is waiting for the guy to get off the train from the war I automatically cry with a sincere deep yearning to be back there.  I love to wear my hair in the rat roll like the 40's.  I am overly comfortable in that style.  I feel it. 
I found a website www.upchucky.com  and I listen to jute box music from 1940 - 1945 or 46.  I remember those songs and sing along happily.  When 1947 hits (the year I was born) I don't recall those songs after I was born again.  I know I passed away (drowned) in 1946 and came back here in 1947.  I don't care who doubts me I know that I know.  And I am not sure why I was allowed to do this mess again because so far it has been a mess.  Regarding the family I chose anyway.  Otherwise I believe I have evolved rather well.  As long as I can separate the earthen family from my spirit I am doing very well.  I know this isn't my standard blog post.  But it has been on my mind and its not like I am any international writer with thousands of readers, even though that is a dream of mine. And I appreciate the ones I have.

 

I hear from the spirit, but not as much as I would like as I have to work and live on this earth which takes most of the day.  Add my three little pets who take another part of the day, one soap opera which takes one more hour of my day, add the normal duties of life such as showering and brushing teeth and eating.  What's left? Driving time and Sundays!  I watch old movies, how bout that?  So until I hear more from the spirit regarding such nonsense......be well, be safe, be happy, and get rich cause its easier.  And don't get too into what you see before your eyes because there is much much more.  I suggest being kind to every living thing because I suspect when you pass over you will SEE that we are all one. Yup, the bugs and all!  And yes I take spiders outside so they can live on. And yes I tell those little critters on the side of the road I am sorry they got run over ....and so on.  I am a warm hearted human being who hopes to find out why I got to come back to this messy earth.  ooohhh sorry for the tendency to sound negative.  Not my thing!  Erase Erase Erase
Photo is mawha with a Halloween bug on my shoulder! And hair in rat roll from the 40's.  I actually wear it to work like that.  I like me!

DeRanged.....................by Diane Ogden

I actually have a better photo of this but I also have a "fever" and this one was the easiest to find today.   Not that I usually take the easy road because I do not.  I think I will start though.  Soo....   Every Halloween I let this bloody leg hang out of my trunk. This year I am in and out of my trunk so its on the passenger side.  It is quite the show stopper.  And each year I wonder if I might get pulled over by the local po-leece.  So far I have done this for some eight years and only lost one leg.  Luckily the local Halloween store had another for me. 
It brings joy to people every day.  Some walking, some driving, some standing and pointing....  but today I experienced a first.  I stopped at the library to pick up some books I had waiting for me.  I was leaving when an elderly woman, picture this now.....  brown short wig, hefty, wrinkled up stone faced and creeping toward my car pointing at the leg.  I laughed, she did not!  She started to walk away and then crept back toward my car and over to my drivers side.  Never a twinge of a smile or even a sneer, nothing!  I rolled down my window and smiled politely at Mrs. Stoneface.  She pointed at me and then toward the passenger side of the car and said, "Do you know you have a leg coming out of your car?"  I swear on all my relatives graves she said that!   I looked at her and said, "Yes I do."  She looked at me with such disgust I felt naked.  I backed up to get out of her range (de-rangement) when a van pulled in and a younger woman opened her mouth wide like she had seen a ghost.  That is when I thought to myself (what is wrong with these people?)  Like I was the sane one among the three.  Neither women laughed but rather found my Halloween humor distasteful.  They must have been from a religious cult. 
All in all 99 % find the leg hilarious....or at least something out of the ordinary day.  I do too.  It's when I forget its there and people are making all sorts of motions at me regarding it.  I eventually come to my senses and laugh with them. 
So until I find something interesting or funny, be well, be safe, be happy, and try not to act de-ranged!  Good God it is just a joke.  And get rich so you can put a bloody leg in a NEW CAR door!

See ya

Photo from http://thechubbychatterbox.blogspot.com    I know I know the brown wig is missing! 

Hairballs Hairballs Hairballs.......by Diane Ogden

That would be ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS worth of cat food that will hermetically break apart hairballs in the body of my cat that has OCD hairballs.  Some cats may have GAD hairballs, but mine has both.  Obsessive Compulsive Disorder of the licking hair.  And Generalized Anxiety Disorder of the scared to death so licks the hair.  Result:   Cant poop!  Sits in litter box looking at me with those huge blue eyes and cries.  So I walk over and pet this cat like its a kid who needs to pueck which is what actually  happens due to hairballs in the belly also.  Poor kitty poo who cant poo.  And that is why I spent ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS to help correct this "tight" situation.  The food will last for and extended six months for sure.  I did get concerned today about where it is produced.  I mean I have had it with CHINA!  They killed my 19 year old cat on the last recall.  Now I hear they are killing dogs with their chicken jerky.  Sooo....I read each and every label.  IAMS is from Ontario, Canada.  Chicken Soup for Cat Lovers is from Meta, Missouri, Eukanuba is also from Ontario, Canada, and Purina One is fromVevey, Switzerland.   OMG....no china word in there anywhere.  That alone speaks cures for the purrs.  That and the $80 I just spent at Amazon.com for the Feliway plug in's that are "drugs in the air" to calm the felines.  Hoping they will be too drunk to lick anything.  Reminds me of an old Kris Kristopherson song where he wakes up in jail and his mouth tastes like he'd been lickin somethin sick and wrong.  Bingo.....that's what I am hoping for.  Drunk cats!  They will be healthy though.  A cat that cant poo is no good.  I do feel sorry for the other cat that can poo.  So far its okay.  No problems. No extra poo going on.  I give that one extra treats for having to deal.
Went to the local pet store today.  They informed me that are now changing over to all American made cat/dog/horse/sheep/etc. food.  Wow.  That is great news.  Maybe not as funny as me petting my cat while she is crying and trying to poo pebbles, but great news. 
So until I "run into" something funny or weird or entertaining...  Be Happy, Be Well (do not eat cat food or any food from China) Be Safe, (do not take any meds from China) and get rich so you can get a lawyer in case your cat or dog dies from tainted greedy American companies buying chinese animal food with poison fillers. 

Goosed in VietNam Down the Street...... by Diane Ogden

I stopped in at the VietNam nail place down the street for a fill on my nails and decided to get the second pedicure ever in me life!  They seemed to be getting busy so the person that usually does my nails gave me to his brother.  I think his brother hasn't done this so much and that is an understatement!  And I cant say I felt very comfortable with this fellow rubbing my legs and slapping them on occasion.  Oh and God forgive, I mean forbid, he reached up and turned on the massaging chair.  That was okay until suddenly something "goosed me!"   Oh yeah, goosed me a good three inches.  Thank God or whoever it was I was not sitting dead center on that chair or I may have acted like the Meg Ryan in Sleepless In Seattle. That would have been awfully embarrassing.  So I sat there getting the bottom of my bottom slapped, the middle of my body goosed, and the top of my body (brain) unsure if it was disgusted or trying to maintain control.  Finally it was over.  I was then escorted which I am sure was a sight considering my legs were like jello after the wonderfully horrible experience.  Now I am placed at the lite to dry my toenails and another lite above for my fingernails.  I was supposed to sit for ten minutes.  After 30 minutes none of my nails were dry.  No one knows why.  And no one had time to fix the problem. Personally I think he put oil on as a base coat thinking it was the base coat. So they kept putting more oil on my nails and sent me home.  You see the owners wife was being taken to the hospital to be induced considering she was 10 days overdue.  What had I gotten myself into?

Seriously, who gets a pedicure and goosed at the same time.  That's like going to the dentist and getting a pap smear.  S H U T U P! The worst part is when I woke up this morning my right big toe nail was crinkled and smeared from never drying.  And my fingernails were and are somewhat sticky.  I wont fix them because THEY OWE ME!   Boy do they owe me!  So until I get goosed by an electric chair again, or find something unusual to report, Be Happy, Be Safe, and Be Well...  and get rich so you don't have to ever have a chair handle your private end in public anyway.  ssshhheeesshh I never

Today we went ABOVE and beyond the call of duty!  We unscrewed a bathroom ceiling vent and as my helper held it down and brushed the mega dust off it..........."it" pulled itself (humm) away from it wiring.  Oh yeah!  I stood there starring up at her holding the vent and both of us looking at the exposed wires.  Not good.  While she was cleaning it I was saying, "Be careful of the wires , be careful of the wires."   After this happened I took the still dirty vent to the kitchen and cleaned it like new!  I emailed my client telling her to call maintenance and for Lordie sakes don't touch the wires.  Even though touching them would mean she would have to climb on a chair/ the toilet seat/ a step stool.  Still...... made me nervous.  What good is a sparkling clean vent that isn't hooked up.  Actually I left it proudly laying on the kitchen table.  What the hell was I so proud of?  We flippin broke it.  Some people are so into clean they cant see reality.  Me!  No I am not anal.  You know over the top on any one subject.

I have not heard from my client.  Maybe I should be the one to give a word to her first considering I started this mess.  I think I'm afraid.   Of what?  Going above and beyond the call of duty?
Not of those two wires coming apart and hanging out of the ceiling.  Sort of reminds me of cleaning a refrigerator and then suddenly it dies.  What good is that?  This is not a funny.  But then I betcha it will all turn out 100% wonderful because that vent was disgusting and maybe even dangerous.  Why it could have started its own little bon-ceiling-fire with all that lint to work with.  So we saved their lives and don't ever forget it.  Then again there are the whirlpool people tubs that need serious hot water and vinegar run through them for at least an hour to detox them so they don't kill someone.   Not funny huh?  I saw a license plate today that said, "ALSWELL."    It was mine!  And it is true.   So until next time I leave live wires hanging out of a clients ceiling, be well, be happy, be SAFE, and get rich so you don't have to deal with dirty bathroom vents.