The Evil Renter......... By Diane Ogden

Okay so this is LuLu!  The Evil cat that I am caring for while my daughter finds an apt. where she can have said cat LuLu. I have tried everything to love and care for her the past ten months..  God help me.  She has destroyed every piece of furniture I own. My cat Lucy is terrified of her.  She has scratched me as I pass her by.  If she needed medical attention I would not be able to touch her to put her in the carrier.  Why?  I have no clue.  I gave her a home when she had none.  I feed her, talk baby talk to her, give her amazing treats, let her wake me up in the middle of the night when she sits on my chest and kneads my delicate skin at two a.m. thank you very much.  This cat is PISSED OFF!  She misses her old home where there were two little girls she slept with.  She is only happy when my two little girl Grands come and spend the night which isn't that often.  I have spent a lot of cash flow on repercussions of HER.  Plain to see what's wrong! She misses the caretaker she has had since she was a kitten. My daughter!  Whenever my daughter is around LuLu is happy and wonderful.  When she is not I found a great solution.  I bought a Calming Plug- In's (three so far) that are supposed to calm the cats. Over $100 big ones.  I think they drugged me too actually. (not really)  And that is a great idea for plug ins....  why not for humans too.  Anyway, daughter came to visit and when she comes LuLu gets double pissed off AFTER SHE LEAVES.  I am exaggerating because this is a blog.  Actually LuLu is a very sweet cat and mostly loves children. 

Daughter getting her own apt. and that will be cause for  a bye bye LuLu party time!I have lived with evil cat for what some call OVERTIME with no pay.  Is it good KARMA? I flippin doubt it.  Road Kill is more appreciative of my tears for them then LuLu is for my loving care and treats!!  And that is the truth. I just couldn't take her to the pound where they would have injected her with a death serum.  She isn't any different than one of my three husbands.  I kept them too long too because I am a caretaker.  I just need to UPGRADE.  So until I come across something funny  or happy or interesting, be happy, be safe, be well, and get rich in case your Jerry Springer cat hates your sofa.  Shit happens so they say and now I believe it.  Will update Lovely LuLu as we go.  I have a feeling she will be just fine.  You never know if I am telling the truth here.  Or writing?

The Attic...............by Diane Ogden

I was at a clients home the other day when I came upon a door I had not noticed before. How could I have not noticed a door considering I have been to this home every other week for a long time.                                  I did consider it might go to a third floor attic room because this house is probably over a hundred years old at least. Yet I figured after I opened the door with all good intentions I would find merely the small duty of straightening out shoes and or boxes.  Notsomuch!  What I found was old unfinished stairs leading to a  large empty floor space that resembled a blown up version of the inside of a covered wagon from a century past.  As I was half way up the old creaky steps I saw it.  The abandoned lifeless shoe.  Laces tattered, the leather worn through in places.  It was similar to when I used to shop for vintage jewelry, especially lockets, in my making of collage pieces.  The lockets always stopped me "dead!"  I would always have to split the locket into two parts to be able to use them in my work.  This was not an easy thing for me to do considering there would always be a photo of a man on one side and a woman on the other from a "passed" time.  I was blessed with one of the remains of their lives together and I was in the process of dismissing that fact by splitting them, the locket apart.  So here I was again, in a vast cavern of old  musty wood and one leather shoe that once belonged to who?  I am a natural detective therefore if there is no concrete answer I have to come to one or my mind wont leave me without finality on the subject.  Who was the woman who wore the shoe?  Considering the ornate style of this three story home, now reduced to two apartments on each level, and looking at the age of it, I suspect whoever wore those shoes was a lady of substantial means.  But then again, it could have been the housekeeper's shoes who was having an affair with the man of the manor and lost it (Cinderella) while escaping just in time before the Mrs. returned from her daily social tea.  Yup that's the story.  Oh, I was going to continue up the steps to look for any other leavings when I saw several large but little turds.  That is when the smell of the word RAT came into my mind and senses and that is when I exited backwards down the old gray stairway and back to reality.  I love my little journeys! 

So until next my next journey or funny, be well, be safe, and be happy.  And run from rats of all kinds!~

Pillow Talk.................by Diane Ogden

I have a client and his wife that sleep with so many pillows I lost count. Trying to make a bed with twenty pillows is impossible.  I actually told the hubbs of the bed, one day, that they might be happier with a FEATHER BED!  Seriously.  So now here I am.....driving to Target and purchasing two more new pillows and one super super soft cover for my body pillow so I can sleep better.  If I added up the money I have spent for the pillows, covers, pillow top mattress's, puffy matress covers, and so on I could have bought a temperpedic by now!!  Jeeezz.  P.S.  My son, his wife, and all three of his children have temperpedic's! Me, I sleep in a hole!  A lousy cheap topper that doesn't work so well and that I sink into.  Guess it's time for me to get a, well a half a temperpedic anyway.....  You know, one of those few inch toppers to replace the pillow top with the sinking hole that has been turned too many times to work anymore.  So until I find a decent bed, be happy, I AM, and be well, I AM, and be safe, I AM, except for I need a decent sleeping hole.....and get rich so you can buy a temperpedic or a good old feather bed like Grannie used to have.  Except they don't clean up so "good."  Nite..... We'll see if the new pillows work tonight.

Mr. Spider Meets His Demise! ......by Diane Ogden

This spider was not on the bath mat hanging over the shower rod!!  It was SUSPENDED from the ceiling and it was spinning it web for ME!   I walked into my bathroom and nearly hit this little bugger head on!  I stopped DEAD in my tracks as he was eye level......  Who wants to have a head on collision with a spider in your bathroom?  Not me.   I am sooo happy I caught sight of that lil bugger before we hit.  eeww eeeww eeeww...  That said, I grabbed some tissue and squished Mr. Spider inside it and then flushed his sorry soul down the toilet.  You see I usually take Mr. Spider's outside and let them go and let them live.  Not this time!  He was in my space literally.  And my bathroom is close to my bed!  So he's dead.  No need to worry.  Later, it's late! Be safe!  nite

Autumn Leaves ....................by Diane Ogden

Creative title huh?  Notsomuch! Who cares because today I am still alive for another years changing of the leaves.  My Granddaughter spent the weekend with me and while on a couple errands she got my camera out of my purse which I never leave the house without.  I tend to prefer my cannon sure shot to my Samsung Galaxy II for better pics.....  Anyway she started taking photos out the car window while we were driving.  Car moving and all!  I did stop at our local Channel 3 WISC-TV parking lot in Madison Wisco where it sits atop a hill.  While there my Granddaughter stood on the edge of an area of the car one would have called the running board in the "olden days,"  and took some still shots.  The rest are while the car was moving.  Grand is twelve years old and did a fine job. 

All these pictures are less than a mile from where I live.  Glad I am on the outskirts of the city this time of year.... The weeping willows and covered wagon are just down the road.  None of the pictures are retouched except that one.  I enhanced the green some. Enjoy!

I Lived Before I Lived..................by Diane Ogden

Betcha think I am De-Ranged like a caged chicken, which is probably more understandable to the masses, "Should be locked up in padded room??"  Nope!  Listen to me.   I lived before, here, before I was born here again.  And yes I believe in God. In fact I love God dearly.  And no I don't believe my body has become inhabited by some spirit that is making me think I lived before. Nope!  Ever since I was a child I knew I drowned "before." I could not learn to swim, I could not stand the bathtub water too high as it took my breath away.  I could not drink water too long or I would recall drowning. I cannot even watch too many water shows or shows with water in them on TVor water accidents. And so on.  God forbid I took an accidental trip down the rapids in Steamboat Springs one year.  I was tricked! Thought I was going to Vegas.
 And every time I hear a train whistle I cry.  I recall the trains from the war.  The 40's.  I sing a song called, "I'm Comin Home Sweet Willie,"  that I cannot find written anywhere and which affects me deeply. Guess its my writing from "before."

Sweet Willie

 I'll be comin home to you Sweet Willie,

I'm comin home to you..

 

When the grass is green and the fields are yellow,

I'll be comin home to you.

 

Please don't fear Sweet Willie,

The Time is near,

I'm comin home to you...

 

For the War is old and forgotten by many...

It took you from me too soon..

 

So be patient dear and please do not fear...

I'm comin home to you....

 

We have a love that's forever and deep as the sea,

With eagerness I await thee...

Be it death or life, be it you or me...

I'm comin home to you...

 

Where the valley light meets the dusk of day,

I'm comin home to you....

 

I will never stop till the day is nay...

where I meet you on the other side...

 

Be it floods or famine or a gunshot wound,

I welcome the end in sight.

 

For my love is like the ocean deep

For it brings us always for keeps....

 

I'll be comin home to you sweet Willie,
I'm comin home to you...

When the grass is green and the fields are yellow..

I'll be comin home to you...

 I'll be comin home to you....

 Sweet Willie

 
 I can dance like they danced before I was born again.  Just naturally do it.  When I see a movie and the girl is waiting for the guy to get off the train from the war I automatically cry with a sincere deep yearning to be back there.  I love to wear my hair in the rat roll like the 40's.  I am overly comfortable in that style.  I feel it. 
I found a website www.upchucky.com  and I listen to jute box music from 1940 - 1945 or 46.  I remember those songs and sing along happily.  When 1947 hits (the year I was born) I don't recall those songs after I was born again.  I know I passed away (drowned) in 1946 and came back here in 1947.  I don't care who doubts me I know that I know.  And I am not sure why I was allowed to do this mess again because so far it has been a mess.  Regarding the family I chose anyway.  Otherwise I believe I have evolved rather well.  As long as I can separate the earthen family from my spirit I am doing very well.  I know this isn't my standard blog post.  But it has been on my mind and its not like I am any international writer with thousands of readers, even though that is a dream of mine. And I appreciate the ones I have.

 

I hear from the spirit, but not as much as I would like as I have to work and live on this earth which takes most of the day.  Add my three little pets who take another part of the day, one soap opera which takes one more hour of my day, add the normal duties of life such as showering and brushing teeth and eating.  What's left? Driving time and Sundays!  I watch old movies, how bout that?  So until I hear more from the spirit regarding such nonsense......be well, be safe, be happy, and get rich cause its easier.  And don't get too into what you see before your eyes because there is much much more.  I suggest being kind to every living thing because I suspect when you pass over you will SEE that we are all one. Yup, the bugs and all!  And yes I take spiders outside so they can live on. And yes I tell those little critters on the side of the road I am sorry they got run over ....and so on.  I am a warm hearted human being who hopes to find out why I got to come back to this messy earth.  ooohhh sorry for the tendency to sound negative.  Not my thing!  Erase Erase Erase
Photo is mawha with a Halloween bug on my shoulder! And hair in rat roll from the 40's.  I actually wear it to work like that.  I like me!

DeRanged.....................by Diane Ogden

I actually have a better photo of this but I also have a "fever" and this one was the easiest to find today.   Not that I usually take the easy road because I do not.  I think I will start though.  Soo....   Every Halloween I let this bloody leg hang out of my trunk. This year I am in and out of my trunk so its on the passenger side.  It is quite the show stopper.  And each year I wonder if I might get pulled over by the local po-leece.  So far I have done this for some eight years and only lost one leg.  Luckily the local Halloween store had another for me. 
It brings joy to people every day.  Some walking, some driving, some standing and pointing....  but today I experienced a first.  I stopped at the library to pick up some books I had waiting for me.  I was leaving when an elderly woman, picture this now.....  brown short wig, hefty, wrinkled up stone faced and creeping toward my car pointing at the leg.  I laughed, she did not!  She started to walk away and then crept back toward my car and over to my drivers side.  Never a twinge of a smile or even a sneer, nothing!  I rolled down my window and smiled politely at Mrs. Stoneface.  She pointed at me and then toward the passenger side of the car and said, "Do you know you have a leg coming out of your car?"  I swear on all my relatives graves she said that!   I looked at her and said, "Yes I do."  She looked at me with such disgust I felt naked.  I backed up to get out of her range (de-rangement) when a van pulled in and a younger woman opened her mouth wide like she had seen a ghost.  That is when I thought to myself (what is wrong with these people?)  Like I was the sane one among the three.  Neither women laughed but rather found my Halloween humor distasteful.  They must have been from a religious cult. 
All in all 99 % find the leg hilarious....or at least something out of the ordinary day.  I do too.  It's when I forget its there and people are making all sorts of motions at me regarding it.  I eventually come to my senses and laugh with them. 
So until I find something interesting or funny, be well, be safe, be happy, and try not to act de-ranged!  Good God it is just a joke.  And get rich so you can put a bloody leg in a NEW CAR door!

See ya

Photo from http://thechubbychatterbox.blogspot.com    I know I know the brown wig is missing!