Cigarettes, Wedding Cake, and Scotch.............by Diane Ogden

I don't get horrifically stressed to often but I did this morning.  And after a couple hours and no heart attack I suddenly had the urge for a cigarette.  I quit smoking ten years ago July!  And here I am standing in my kitchen craving a cigarette or even a long tasty cigar which would have helped along he heart attack for sure.  No worries I didn't run out in the freezing cold, start my Buick and head for the Kwik Trip and spend, what are they now?  $7.50 a pack Jack?  Even if they are bad that is sheer robbery.  I survived the momentary craving and moved on.  Actually it happened twice this morning.

I have always said,  "If I am ever told I have terminal anything (except terminal stress) I will go out and purchase and carton (one will kill me!) of cigarettes, a wedding cake (I love the old fashioned heart attack frosting on white wedding cakes), and a bottle of good Scotch.  That'd be enough to do me under.  No morphine needed, no bridge needed, no gun needed, no bottle of pills, no rope, no river, no mac truck, no brick wall, (you can see I have put some thought into this - NOT!)

Nope the Sugar, Nicotine, and Scotch would have DEAD written all over them.  But what a way to go!!  My only fear is if it is the A word (Alzheimer's) I might forget to do it.  

So until next time and if I remember.....be well, be happy, be safe, and be WELL.  And get rich so you can hire a hit man for yourself if you need to.

Wisconsin Winterwonderland... January 2013 ...by Diane Ogden

The meteorologists said this was coming and indeed it did. There are snowstorms, blizzards, and so on but this one was a beauty.  When I say beauty I don't mean a blizzard ....I mean it was beautiful.  Teens say "bad" when they mean good....but this was GOOD.  No one died....and it was a true winter wonderland called awesome.  I couldn't stop taking pictures even tho some didn't seem to turn out as good as what I was looking at.  Humm.   The snow was heavy...some snow is light and breezy, some is heavy and packing, some is wet and sloshie....  This was a good packing snow.  Long as my 6 lb. little girl dog can find a spot to pee wee are good.  So from this Northern Territory of Happy Snow...   Be Happy, Be Safe, Be Well, and get the heck rich so you can buy a sled, or good tires, or a snowboard, or a vacation trip to Florida to get the H outta this here place after that pretty snow gets dirty brownish gray.... Pretty or not Fred....(it's twenty below ......   nite

Jorianne The Coffee Psychic........by Diane Ogden

After doing some research regarding psychics (why? Tell you in a minute) I found this person to be very good at what she does via the Internet and YouTube.  I needed a serious life question regarding stolen property, answered.  So I contacted her office and set up a time and paid the price.  And what did she tell me?  She did see many things that were very right on.  And she said, "You could be a "reader" like I am!"  Okay...  I know I have some special small gift that knows things but I don't know them on command like if someone were to call me and ask me to channel their certain questions, the pressure would be OMG to the moon Alice.  And for those who do not know what that means, Google Jackie Gleason.  He was in a sit com many years ago and his wife's name was Alice.  When he would get mad at Alice he would look at at her and make a fist and say, "To the Moon Alice!"
                                              http://youtu.be/LgxqWTL27-Y 
And by the way I did get my answer.  It was the one I suspected and mine was free.  I guess sometimes in life we need a little boost, be it a massage, some Reiki, a run in the sun, a psychic who sees this when she pours cream into a cup of coffee.  Humm, maybe I will try it. I bet I will see all sort of things.  So until I find something more interesting or fun or happy.....  stay well, stay happy, stay safe, and get rich so you can watch the lady read the cream in her coffee for a long time and really see what she's got!  (Actually she was spot on many things)

Goodwill Hunting.............by Diane Ogden

 

 

 

 

I finished work early today and stopped at U.S. Cellular to have a couple questions answered.  I noticed the new Goodwill Store within walking distance so I did just that and walked over to see what treasures I might find.  I always  look at the dolls because they have very nice porcelain dolls my Granddaughters like to play with.  When scanning the array of dolls, mostly beat up, I come across old Alice here.  For $3.99 I took a chance on her.  I don't believe she is an antique but I liked her anyway. Check out her shoes.  They are painted on.  And the strings tied around her wrists and ankles give her a more antique appearance.   Her little hands are dirty. humm.  He head isn't glass but rather a type of paper maschay. (LOL- mache)  Okay I cant spell that. So here's the reason I bought old Alice.

I sometimes write rather racey posts while my friend Shirley http://cabincountess.blogspot.com is truly a cabin countess who cooks and feeds birds and makes her own soap for God sakes!  So after reading her blog post yesterday about how she made these cute little snowmen from a little pattern. (I would be making fancy jewelry while my mirrored disco ball rotated around the room to keep me happy)  So this is my short lived ditched effort to be wholesome and countrified.  Not sure that is a word.  Don't misunderstand, my friend Shirley is not a red neck, although they do have a red truck.  She is truly "A Cabin Countess!"  And I truly am not.  I am "The Apartment Goddess."  And we do just fine because we are both very creative only in different areas.  I like fairies, glitter, Christmas lights (white) that run around my counter and up to the top of my fridge, fur draped over my furniture, antique lace and jewelry, and thoughts of walking the busy streets of New York City!  I'd be scared living in the country.  Not sure why just would.  So here's Alice.... the closest thing I am going to get to country. Unless Alan Jackson walks in.  I'd live anywhere with him, except a boat. So until Alan arrives or I leave for NYC or I find something a bit more interesting......Be Safe, Be Well, Be Happy, and get rich so you can really shop.  And go check out Shirley's blog.  It really is quite interesting and fun. 

He Loves Me, He Wants to Kiss Me!.........by Diane Ogden

I am not sure which one of these men it was.  Maybe a combination of both as my memory serves up.
I was in Wal Mart the other day (you know when purchasing the famous blood pressure cuff from China) when at the checkout I was spoken to by a man that resembledthe these two men. In other words it wasn't either of these men, but if you shook these two up in a bottle it would be the one that came out that was speaking to me.  At first he was speaking to the cashier.  He was buying a pack of cigarettes that considering the price I noticed next to them, they must be gold plated like his front tooth.  The cashier was from another country (imagine that) and couldn't understand why he was messing with a one dollar bill when he only owed 37 cents.  It was a joke from beginning to end.  And no there was not a full moon.  I rarely go to Wal Mart World when there is a full moon.  It is terrifying to say the least.  Okay back to He Loves Me!  After much a dew (how do you spell a do?)  he paid the 37 cents with the change from his pocket per her instructions, or I should say her orders as she told him to get it from his pocket, she could hear a lot of money moving around down there.  Seriously! I had my suspicions as to why and what things were moving around down there but shut my mouth and call me Carol!  I wasn't adding anything to that mess.  That is when he turned slowly and stopped all activity while looking into my lovely eyes and said, "ARE YOU MARRIED?"   Now I know what struck dumbfounded means.  I was indeed struck dumbfounded.  I opened my mouth to say yes while shaking my head no as I tried to get my brain to tell my head to stop moving and start lying.  I said, "How old are you?"   He replied...."47."  I said, "I could be your MOTHA..LOL I really said Mother....Ewww Eww."   He walked away with shame between his legs.  And I once again vowed never to return to that place again.  Until I need some Chinese meds with asphalt and or paint fillers.  Oh Lord!  
So kids, Be Happy, Be Safe (don't go the Wal Mart) and Be Well, (don't go to WalMart) and for God sake and your own, get rich so you can go to Walgreens or Eckerds, the second unsafest place to buy meds. Not that anywhere is safe anymore...

Photos from:    http://www.thisisthenuts.com/form.html?recode=4219   and www.article.com 
Thank Guys

Blood Pressure Monitor............by Diane Ogden

I went to the doctor last week because I thought I had an ear infection.  No details necessary..... He felt my jaw, he looked into my right ear for one half a nano-second and said, "You don't have an ear infection, you have TMJ."  I knew that, but I still thought I had an ear infection.  But I did not.  This is all good.  When I checked in and they took me to the little room the nurse took my blood pressure which was high.  Like 198 over 80 I think.  I have NEVER had high blood pressure in my life.  In fact I have low blood pressure.  Yet since December 15th, 2012 when I contracted (I really had no such contract with the flu and that was a horrible choice of words!) the flu my blood pressure has risen upon each visit.  (Three total)  This time the old country doc instructed me to purchase a cuff blood pressure monitor.  I waited a week and then did it because I don't believe in strokes.  Good strokes oh yes, bad ones no no.  I took my blood pressure when I got home from China (Wal Mart World) and yes it is made in China.  Makes me so angry.  Back to point.  It said to not eat or drink anything for a half hour before using.  Why?  And to keep my feet flat on the floor for fifteen minutes before using.  I get that one...no legs crossed stopping blood flow.  So I did it.  Pressure was 118 over 78.  Hey not bad.  I was thrilled especially because I have one signature left to get on my do not recussitate (I have obviously spelled that wrong and my computer doesn't even recognize it) paperwork.  Then I took it again before bed and it was 118 over 78.  Then again when I woke up.  Same.  I thought humm that's odd.  Through out the day I cursed China thinking I would have to return this little machinie gadget.  I got home this afternoon and picked it up from my nightstand and brought it and its box out to my desk to wrap it up for return.  There is more light out here .  That is when I noticed the clear sticker on the front of it.....and also the words PEEL HERE!
I am not a stupid person.  Contrary to what you might be thinking right now.  How could I miss that?  I did.  I usually blame that on print being black for instance car radios, TV controls on the TV, computer menu on the computer that is black, as is the TV and the car radio.  But this is creme colored, not black.  And my eyesight is fine with my specs that is.  Of course I feel like a idiot.  Jeez.
So I gently peeled the sticker off and sat quietly while it did its Chinese work on me.  The screen said, "Shitski I forgot, be right back."   137 over 75....that is because the dog was scratching my leg like crazy to pick her up.  I couldn't even say, "Stop it, I am not supposed to move."  That still isn't very high like it was at the country doc's.  Thingy cost me $45.00.  The better one Orion I think was $75. I did notice my little ReliOn was made by the same $75.00 company.  O 'well....  it is what it is.
Maybe I'll Etsy it, or rent it out when I'm finished.  Duh.  Hey, Be Well, Be Safe, Be Happy, and get Rich because its more fun.  You can buy American more often too.  

Moon Over Nantucket.............by Diane Ogden

Okay so that is not a moon and I am not in Nantucket.  (It was interesting how the purple spheres glowed all around the "Lightpole Moon." I should have cropped my lightpole moon. Sorry. I am the lady from Nantucket who always says "______  __!"   No I don't....I was just remembering that song I heard decades ago that went like,
"There was a girl from Nantucket.  No that's not it at all.....  this is it:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nan-tucket


But he followed the pair to Pawtucket,
The man and the girl with the bucket;
And he said to the man,
He was welcome to Nan,
But as for the bucket, Pawtucket

Then the pair followed Pa to Manhasset,
Where he still held the cash as an asset,
But Nan and the man
Stole the money and ran,
And as for the bucket, Manhasset

Of this story we hear from Nantucket,
About the mysterious loss of a bucket,
We are sorry for Nan,
As well as the man—
The cash and the bucket, Paw-tucket