Woodman's on Sunday or Any Other Day................by Diane Ogden

Woodman's is an employee owned company which means they can sell their food less expensive then other stores like Bob the Chairman at Copps where they are $1 higher on each product than Woodman's.  (On average in case Bob might read this) BUT that means the food stamp folks show up twice a month usually at the full moon stage meaning every derelict in the city is there pushing pulling screaming hollering honking and being rude at the check outs.   Today was bad (bad-donkey (ass)!)  Now I understand how two people and a car can start a riot.  They almost did today.  I was backing out of my stall where you cant see what is coming so you (I) go very slow.  Suddenly this little car with a little man is honking his sorry donkey off at me which in turn pee dissed me off so rather than stopping and pulling back in to allow Mr. Donkey to pass.....I continued to back out right toward them.  W e l l.... that didn't work so well..... Meaning the little man got mad and honked his horn over and over and over...then sped passed me but didn't get far.  Little man in Little car ran into road block city where people where loading their groceries...you know what they came here for.....and he got mad at another car in his way but that car got mad back and honked a continuous honk back at first donkey honker...and I am like omg there is a riot brewing.  Six or seven cars under the overhang loading up while other cars honking and making my anxiety level rise to the topster. It truly is "devil week" in America.  I shan't want to give that evil too much attention so I wont.  Ordinarily Woodman's is a decent less expensive place to shop with a few more than average shoppers.  I don't mind because I can read my magazines at the checkout due to being number five in line no matter what day or what time of day.  I just relax and read and if I am in the mood I find the longest line.  Its all good.  People Magazine, Soap Digest, (not so much those "if I'm lyin I'm dyin ones though. No those are nasty.) Although my Grannie used to love to read the Enquirer. I don't blame her.  When you get to be 85 where do you find any excitement?  Back then they didn't have porno as a regular station on TV.  Seriously!  It was the Enquirer and or the book Peyton Place which was no more than our evening news now a days.  Sad but true.  Might as well laugh at it best we can.  Now a days we are at "Fifty Shades of Grey," making scabillions $.  Notsogood but it is what it is.  Me, I am happy without whats his name Grey (of Fifty Shades) beating the crap out of me before, during, and after sex, and without having 23 children like the Dooggers,(sp) and not being a famous boob job housewife from Jersey or L.A., and I am happy not being related to the HoneyBooBoo's, and so on and so on.  I am Happy.  Don't forget I have a million dollars and I know how to use it.  At Woodman's.  So until the next time I run across someone crazy,  or something funny and happy,   Be safe, Be Happy, Be Well, and get rich like me so you can be happier.  Laters.

I Have One Million Dollars, Thank You!..................by Diane Ogden

The other day I got tired. Not your ordinary tired. The tired of being poor tired. So I stood in my abode and said, "I have had it with working so hard for what has been my forever without much reserve cash flow. No more, done, I have a million dollars. Thank you Universe." And so it is.

I am now a happier person. When you have a million dollars you are a happier person. I have signs on my refrigerator, all my doors, my bathroom mirror, on my steering wheel, on my car visor and wherever else my eyes and brain come together to view it.

The bathroom photo is funniest because I thought I was getting out of the photo when in truth I was moving into the photo. Mirror messed me up.

I am sure you are happpppy for me also. And I thank you.

So until my next little project or until I find something funny. See ya and I hope you get rich just like me.
Laters

Refrigerator

Bathroom Mirror

Steering Wheel

Front Door

THAT IS THE TOP OF MY COMPUTER SCREEN.

A Clear Morning...............by Diane Ogden

 

This is an old 35 mm slide from my Grandfathers collection....1950's I think it needs photoshop color repair, but it reminded me of today and not 60 years ago. (I was barely alive if there is such a thing when Grandaddy took this photo with the latest and finest camera for sure)

It is 7:00 a.m. and time to take Gracie Allen outside which can be annoying some days as all who own dogs understand. But today was diff. No one in sight when at least one thousand live within this block of space on earth. I could call it "My Space," because it is and it especially was this morning. I lost track of the date, the time, and where I was. Why? I don't know exactly except it was euphoric like I hear a drug would be. Like Morphine before surgery.... Who was giving me this moment in time and why? The smell of the air held a meaning of such goodness and memory that I kept breathing it in as deeply as I could. I was asking the Universe what this meant or where it came from. I looked up into the specially blue sky only to see the moon in all its cratered glory looking at only me, telling me how much more there is that I cannot see with my human eye. Well I was willing to see it with my spiritual eye but that didn't happen...or maybe it did, only every other of my four senses plus was working overtime. Maybe I should have tried harder to just enjoy it instead of trying to remember it. Emotions came to visit also. I thought maybe it was a memory of another time when things were wonderful. Children bustling about, pancakes on the griddle, a soul mate offering and sharing.... It wasn't the same smell and feeling that I get from my Grandma's farm early in the morning from back in the 50's... No, this was clean, crisp but not cold, sunny but not hot, this was perfection. There was no place for worry, pain, fear, or any of the grey and certainly no place for any black on my block. I actually lost Grace for over a minute in time. Something I never do as she had no harness on this fine morning. I don't think Grace noticed the fairy like magic that had come over me but she did sit by my feet waiting for me to come back to the grey senses of this world which I really didn't do until I opened that front door. I didn't want to leave it. "It" being the total feeling of security where there is none. "It" being the total feeling of love where there isn't much of. "It" being the total feeling that no matter what everything is alright so just go with it......" Even if "It" was only the smell of a wonderful memory, but I know better! I received a gift from the moon? From the Universe? From God this morning during Gracie's podie time. How ironic. I am a very lucky person.

top photo from:   www.capetown.travel/.../Autumn_colours.jpg   laters!

I suspect no one cares about Bob Ogden.  You know the rescue cat that has cost me near $600.00.  Don't fall over, I already have several times.. Once literally off the bench at the Veterinarian Office. Yup I was scootin back to tell Bob Ogden everything would be alright (actually affirming it to myself) when I scooted right off the end of the bench onto the large animal scale.  And no, no one came running over to see if the old girl was okay.  They did look over after the thud and the human yelp...  that is when I said, "I'm good!"  Sure.  Should have seen the bruises on my Donkey (ass) and arm the next day.  Back to my point about no one really caring about Bob Ogden.

It has been a good month now since my daughter brought him home from the "funny farm" where I was raised.  Someone dumped him there.  Probably because of the above paid Veterinarian needs.  He was peeing blood, full of ear mites, worms, eeww, and needed to be "de-manned."  I am sure I have left something out.   And we all know I already have a cat named Lucy.  A 6 lb. Pom Chi named Grace, and my daughters cat who is renting space until she gets an apt. of her own.  And now there is Bob Ogden.  (Who by the way is the best of them all)  Aside from his attack mode today.  You see I decided to let Bob and Lucy meet one another.

  It was not like the dating game, nope, no way.  Bob took one good look at Lucy and attacked her after making a horrible sound which made her run like the wind.  He caught her hind area and I caught his at the same time.  We were quite the side show indeed.  Meantime my Grand daughter who was going to help was standing helpless where it all started.  Needless-to-say, Bob had to go back to his cell, you know the large bedroom with a large window, a large litter box, and a large flat screen TV.  And a cat window perch specifically for Bob Ogden. 

What's my point?  I really don't have one.  I do have an animal issue and possibly need to vent somewhere.  Aren't you lucky.  I do not know how to introduce cats to one another especially when they all have mental issues.  That is because two of them came from the funny farm and the other from the humane society.  I need to learn to upgrade in all areas.  So for now I will do nothing major until I can make a decision I can live with.  That is the key! 

And I will certainly try to find something more entertaining to post.  Until then, be safe, be well, be happy, and get rich so you can hire a cat therapist/behaviourist if you need one, and I do.  Amen

Snow Snow Snow in April................by Diane Ogden

Most of us in these here Northern parts of the country are sincerely over-done with winter.  Yet it just keeps coming back to visit us.  I found the post below from February 2011.... And that was much worse that what we have experienced this year!  How quickly we forget.  And thank Charles (God) and the Universe we don't live in China, or N. Korea but rather here with the pretty white snow that doesn't want to leave us. 

Blizzard of 2011 at My Window!

So this is Little Gracie Allen in a head on search for a place to make a morning poddie! That poddie ended up smack dab in the center of this sidewalk obviously, like where else was there to go?
This event occurred at 9:00 a.m. February 2, 2011 and as it did occur my mind wondered to the newspaper man that "usually" enters the residence around 4:00 a.m. and considering I live in the "dog building," what residents may have attempted to help their dogs relieve themselves before 5:00 a.m. which is when I overheard the little man with his little toy truck clearing the walks. Did you ever notice that girls don't have boy toys when they grow up, you know like little baby bulldozers, and little baby Caterpillar type plows, and so on. I guess someone (The Women) has to be grown up but its still not fair. Back to my point? Where did those dogs go podie before 5:00 a.m? The garage? Could be!
The bottom photo is my apartment just to the left of the front door behind that humongous drift.

I would make a fair guess that this week of April 11th, 2013 will be the last seriously cold week of the year.

So until I come across something interesting or funny, stay warm.  Laters

Scoopin Poop..............by Diane Ogden

Every morning I scoop the litter boxes.  That would be two boxes now considering the add on recent rescue cat who lives in the spare bedroom until he is strong enough to fight the felines in the outter banks of his domain. (apt) 

Yesterday I hadn't gotten dressed for work yet.  Had my nightshirt on while I was scooping poop in the spare bedroom.  I recall having an odd feeling.  Like someone was watching me but I ignored it.
By the way when I scoop poop I do not bend over properly due to a back injury.  In other words I don't bend my knees, rather I bend over with my donkey (ass) in the air, big as life, well it's not that big but not that pretty in that position either.  I finished scooping, stood up and danged if some guy wasn't walking his dog right outside that BIG window my butt was facing so vivedly.  I have no doubt that young man got a "birds eye" view of my donkey.  If I were a sweet twenty five year old it might have given him a thrill, but I suspect he rather said, 'eeeeww!

Guess he was scoping and I was scoopin!

Central Colony Madison, Wisconsin........by Diane Ogden

Oops, Typo. Meant to say Central Cat Colony at my place.  Allow me.  Christmas (my 19 year old cat) passed away several years ago.  Not long after that I was at the "funny farm" where I was raised. (that is what is wrong with me or at least I have something to blame it on) I was with Dad out by the shed when this emaciated little white feline came over to my feet and began rolling around on them over and over while crying.  I knew what she was saying, sooo I went into the shed and found an old red milk crate, put her in it , covered it with a dirty old piece of plywood, ran in the house and mummie dearest gave me a hunk of steak the size of my foot for her.  I placed it in the red milk carton (she ate the whole thang) and drove her home!  Took her to the Vet, got meds, got de-wormed, and two days later my daughters boyfriend came out from passing the litter and said, "OMG, that cat just shit a human turd!"  I just stood there in shock, then looked at it myself and sure enough, it was the size of that what he said, yes.  Must have been the footsized steak along with much more as she ate and ate and ate like she hadn't in a month.  Not to mention she has OCD from all that trauma.  

Her eyes go round in circles thank God in only one direction.  And she cant be picked up, (only by young children) and me for a 20 seconds.  She will sleep next to me and sit on my computer desk but no picky uppie.  She loves me! I deal with her.  Then came LuLu. (I did not name her)

 Someone threw this lil grey kitten into my daughters  car (so she says) and she brought it home.  In a few months she and LuLu moved out.  Then LuLu came back to my apt. a year later, left again for two years and came back Christmas of 2011 and is still here.  LuLu has a mean streak due to something. I suspect she was misused when she lived with a house full of single drinking people a while back.  She hisses, no one can pick her up, she chases Lucy down, but in the middle of the night I feel pressure on my chest and I open my eyes and her face is two inches from my nose. I would scream but she might hurt me.  So I have learned that is her safe time and place to knead her paws on the only secure person in her life, me.  And to suckle on my T-Shirt.  I said T-Shirt!! 

And now?  There came Bob. Once again my daughter brought home another rescue from the "funny farm,"  even though I said NO!!  When I woke up there "it" was.  A very sick cat. I know the plan....call the vet. (cant take a sick cat to Humane Society or they kill it)  On the way to the Vet I named him BOB, Bob Ogden as I have said in previous blog posts.  And $600.00 later (the new camera I wanted) Bob is mine.  The truth is, Bob is the only sane one of the bunch.  (I left out the 6 lb. dog named Gracie Allen Ogden who has jealousy issues)

 Problem is Bob has to live in the 2nd bedroom until he is all well so he can fight off the mental felines out here in the rest of his new apartment world.  So I go sit with Bob in the morning before work, when I get home, and then in the evening for another hour.  Oh, I also purchase liquid plug ins that calm cats. And they cost a lot.  But then so do meds at the mental hospital.  I have a mental hospital omg.  And how can I give away those two little cats that have depended on me for years, so Bob, the healthy one can stay.  What a dang mess.  But then it could be that I have three mental human men living here I don't know what to do with. Or three mental human children.  Sooo, given that being said, I am a damn lucky woman.  I have a few little critters that love me.  And I take care of them because that is my calling in life.  Being a caretaker.  (of mental cats omg)  It'll all work out.  Always does.  So until next time, be safe, be well, be happy, and get rich so you can take good care of your crazy critters. (and yourself) And of course I am exaggerating a LITTLE. 
Laters.....

  Where can I hide?