The Eye of My Murder: A Short Fiction Story by Julianna Rowe
Part V: Dead in the Water
And then I heard the words, “Hi Baby.”
I whirled around only to see J.W. holding a flashlight under his chin to
look scary like we used to do as kids. And that he did. Like the frightening clown face who hides his true intentions. I screamed as though I
was about to be murdered. I was. If J.W. couldn’t have me no one could.
Boomer
was my weakness and J.W.’s way of getting to me. He wanted to make me suffer
before he killed me. He also knew my
greatest fear in life was water. So, that was his choice of weapon and I suddenly,
knew it.
My mother had tried to kill me also but in a different way. She tried to
kill me spiritually with words of my worthlessness and by taking me out of her
WILL, giving my sister her entire estate of two million dollars. What had I
ever done to her except look and act like my father? And that is a good thing
because I wouldn’t have wanted to be like her in any lifetime.
My basketball court was now a fighting zone. Offense and defense were
engaged in serious fucking battle. Satan had arrived. I was always taught he isn’t
stronger than God but it sure looked that way.
What were my strategies? J.W. was
taller, bigger, and stronger. But then again,
I was always taught God is bigger. Bigger than J.W. So, I screamed at him the only way I knew who to fight
I screamed, “God, don’t let Satan have me. Forgive me for not seeing it!”
I screamed so loud it hurt my throat,
ears, and rattled my frail anxiety ridden brain. I believe those words hurt J.W.’s ears too
because he stepped back, eyes wide, before he cackled a demonic laugh and lunged
at me. As he lunged the damp ground caused him to slip losing his hold on me but I continued to fall toward the canal and somehow ended up
hanging onto the edge of the cement wall trying with all my strength to pull
myself back up onto land. His face distorted into a tight state of horror,
eyes glistening on their own as he threw his arms straight up toward the sky in
a sign of defeat then stomped on my already white knuckled fingers with
his boot. He reminded me of Goliath from the Bible stories. That was the man I
created and loved standing over me kicking me. I hit the dark dirty murky water
hard. I was in shock. Surely God would not let me die of my worst fear. But
then they say you get what you fear and I had gotten more than that. I had
gotten J.W. with all his and my generational past demons. And now my cat was alone and scared somewhere
or J.W. had thrown him into the canal too. I was sinking, dying, swallowing
over and over trying not to suck the filth of dirty dark green canal water into
my lungs.
I tried to tread the cold water but I had never learned to tread water even
though I had tried.
I couldn’t learn to
swim or tread water due to fear but now it was life or death. J.W. stood on the
tall cement embankment laughing at me in a horrible frightening demonic voice. He
shouted to me how he had thrown Boomer in the dirty canal too. He shouted.
"Suck in the mud bitch because that’s what you are anyway".
He was then screaming how I was mean to him,
how I tried to trick him all the time trying to make him think he was crazy and
how I was a manipulator, and a whore like his mother. Those malignant filled words gave me the will
to fight. The anger and hate of the
demon moving J.W. to go to such hideous lengths pissed me off to the moon. I
would be damned if I would die at his feet. He should be damned, not me! My
spirit had already died many times over at his use of control and verbal abuse.
Suddenly the spirit reminded me I knew how to float. I was freezing and
terrified but I knew how to float on my back and so I did. Then the spirit told me to remain totally
silent. After that, fear never touched
me again for the next several minutes even though J.W. was shining the
flashlight all about the dark canal waters trying to find me after my thrashing
halted. He found me but what could he do? I remained calm and I do not know how
except by God’s grace and my strong Guardian Angel’s arms. J.W.’s light found me silently floating which
made his evil go into high gear while he continued shining the horrible light
into my face hollering more derogatory remarks at me, but I never budged.
He roared. “Here piggy piggy. You pitiful excuse for a woman. You were born to spread your legs for all the
boys and that is all your good for!”
He
was using every tactic he had used on me for years but with greater tenacity.
I had been afraid of drowning all
my life. Whenever I passed a large or
small body of water, I feared my car would go into it all by itself. Or someone
would venture from their lane into mine causing my vehicle to take flight into
the drenk. I carried a hammer everywhere in case I needed to break my car
window and get out. I unbuckled my seat belt whenever near water or crossing a
bridge because that would be one thing less, I had to try to remember to do if
immersed. You know the rules, undue seat
belt, unlock doors and window, open window, climb out, and pray you have no
pets or children to try to get out also. I also prayed someone was nearby that
would jump in and save me because I couldn’t swim. I tried to learn as a child
more than once but fear held me back.
Sometimes we don’t get what we
need until the last minute. The Bible calls it "Grace." That is one thing I had
learned in life. I wasn’t always happy
about it, but that is and was the way of the Universe. He, the greater being, comes when you most need him and
for me it was definitely the last moment.
But he also gave me strength at the exact second I needed it, and that
is when he, J.W. came for me.
J.W. was still shining the
light into my eyes mimicking the way he had always tried to control me with his
manipulating tongue and bad brain. This time by using a flashlight in my face while he hoped to
watch me die. Why? But I didn’t care why anymore.
It was then I started to think
about Boomer. I was allowing the flesh to reenter which was a terrible mistake.
All my mind could see was Boomer being thrown into that awful stinking water. Boomer
flailing about eyes open wider than possible searching for my face, my being,
to save him as I had done before in his life. Swallowing canal muck until
his belly was so bloated he choked on the reflux of water overflowing his
stomach causing him to vomit it up and back into his lungs. But I never came. I
abandoned him in his death. Poor Boomer had died aspirating and thrashing that
horrible dark canal alone. That is when I started losing control of my ability
to float. The analogy came into my brain that the opposition stole the
basketball on my court to freedom and I would never be able to make a basket or
win a game again.
J.W. started laughing. I couldn’t hear it anymore as I was about to give up.
I could hear a siren getting closer, and then more sirens, but it didn’t pierce
my brain as anything that might help me. I had given up.
And then I heard a scream. A
loud scream. The girl from the front desk was screaming at J.W. She threw up
her leg and knocked him down hard. Apparently, she had taken self-defense
classes. He never moved again until the police arrived. I found out later she wasn’t supposed to work
that shift but someone called in due to their car not starting. I say it was my God,
Guides, Angels, Mother Mary, a few Saints, and the Holy Spirit.
She took the flashlight from J.W.’s hand and shone it on me hollering she
found Boomer.
That was it! I started fighting. Who would think a cat could save my life. I guess it was KARMA. I had saved his
life and in turn he saved mine. In a different way of course but no less the outcome.
The firemen dropped a ladder
and somehow, I learned to swim to it in that moment in time. Not that I hadn’t
swallowed a lot of very nasty water.
Believe me the taste remains to this day. But I try to associate it with the positive
of Boomer being found and my life being given an umpteenth chance. I am one experienced in chances. I used to believe you could run out of chances but I lived to say
that is wrong.
J.W. was arrested on charges of attempted murder. He failed the mental tests for trial and was
sent to a hospital for the criminally insane for fifteen years.
I became lifelong friends with the female desk clerk, Lori who got me
into her self defense classes. My cousins became my closest forever family. I got a job and a very nice apartment
overlooking downtown where Callie, Boomer, and I finally found our peace on
earth. Oh, and I married the hot fireman
who dragged me out of that filthy canal while I threw up green muck all over
him. That is the kind of man to treasure and “I do”.
The End.
My friend and mentor tells me to make my decisions by using my "
