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Saturday, January 22, 2022

Numerology 9 day

 1-22-22       Short Story Dream:  

Today is a Nine-day. I play with Numerology.  Add 1+22+22 and it adds up to a 9 which is my life path.  I must listen to the still small voice or not?

Val was one of the most handsome men I had ever met. He handed out charisma every moment he existed everywhere he went. His touch, his smile, his simply being in the room, gave me a warmth like the soft winds of an ocean breeze that centered itself somewhere in the depths of my soul. But I wasn’t sure I offered him the same gentle breezes.  In fact, I was so enthralled with Val I wrote a novel about him that went to number one on the New York Times bestseller list.

One evening while watching a late-night television talk show where he was a guest, Jimmy Kimmel asked him about the novel I had written that appeared to be about us.  Val looked at the camera and spoke four words that sounded like a foreign language.  My brows turned firmly down nearly over my eyes and my mouth hung open as though I had heard of the death of a friend.   What the heck did he just say?  Then I heard the audience clapping like the roar of your favorite football team had won and were going to the Super Bowl.  What just happened my thoughts bellowed.  And after the crowd calmed down Kimmel moved on to other topics all about Val.   It was always all about Val lately.

When he returned from Los Angeles we celebrated at our usual dinner club, came back to my apartment overlooking Chicago the nightlights. We danced and made love for hours.  Then in our moments of silence, after lovemaking, I asked him what the four words he said on Kimmel mean? The words describing my novel.   He commented he didn’t know what I was talking about but then he arrogantly repeated them..

“Oui je l'inspire”

I squeaked in a high-pitched voice, “What does that mean please?”

He tried to dismiss me and move on to something else but I persisted.  Told him if he didn’t translate it, I would head to google right now and break up our wonderful evening.

Okay, alright, all I said was “Yes, I inspire her.”  It was for the audience you know?

Then before I could say a word, he told me he was leaving town for New York and not to be upset but I might see him out with Claudette Canton because they were shooting a commercial together.  In fact, he added it was a date tomorrow night, but only for publicity.

Again, my face held that same frown that appeared freely the night I heard the four words describing my novel turn it all onto him.  Everything was about him.  But I knew him long before he became famous.  We were kids together, schoolmates, Homecoming King and Queen, but something happened to him when he moved on from a popular High School football player to a nationwide celebrity doing voiceovers and commercials. It was his physical beauty that took him to a place far away from our common roots.  He lost who he was in his soul and became his own personal physical spotlight shining himself upon himself. 

I looked him in his eyes and calmly stated. So, you have a date tomorrow night? 

He affirmed it and proceeded to move my attention away from the present conversation by making love to me or rather using sex to benefit himself from his own self-made relationship trap. His ego had grown out of proportion and was beginning to appear ugly as well as I noticed he was drinking more than he ever had.  

And so, he made sex with me, kissed me goodbye, said he would call me.  But he never called again.  He and Claudette Canton had become an overnight sensation.  Magazine covers, newsreels, and talk of an upcoming wedding. But Val and I were to be married.  We had talked about it since we were freshmen in High School.  The plan was as soon as we graduated college, we would marry with our families close, have a nice small wedding venue at the local Gardens by the River Walk.   

Val had discarded me.  Discarded all the years, all the memories, all of it for fame.  The worst part was he never said goodbye.  

I moved on after a period of grief.  It was true grief as though he had died and a part of me died with him, a part of my heart died with his disappearance.  It was something I never wanted to experience again.  I finally decided to take an antidepressant to help stop the daily crying.  I cried at the market, while driving, in other public places as well.  It was no longer normal grief.  The medication took a month or so to kick in but when it did the crying stopped and I began writing again.  But not the old me, it was someone new writing, and the words coming out were from a damaged soul that no medication would cure.

As time passed, I moved on. I dated a few men but no one could replace Val in my heart.  I received a czll from my dad inviting me to lunch at the Café Du Soleil.   Translated means Café of the Sun and it turned out to be just that. When I entered the café, sitting with my dad was a handsome young American Indian named Dakota Taner.  He stood when my father introduced us and when he looked down and smiled upon me those God chills ran through me like wind and fire.  He must have been six foot four.  Who was this man?  We had a light lunch and conversed about our jobs and local news.  Nothing earthshattering. After a while, Dad excused himself back to work, paid the bill, and left us on our own.  I think that was the plan all along and it did work out beautifully.  Dad always knew what I needed.  To say he was upset with Val would have been a worldwide understatement.   

 The people invited expected the groom to be Val. Many Friends had never met Dakota and always assumed if I ever married it would be Val.  After all, he was the only man I had ever been with until recently.  People were coming into the church filling the air with questions.  Reading the pretty little paper filled with golden letters stating who the happy couple was and the words to an ancient Indian Prayer.  Dakota’s father was sitting in the front row to the left. My father, and his girlfriend, MaryBeth, were sitting in the front row to the right. Dakota and I had both lost our mothers to cancer in previous years.

Dad had bought me the most beautiful white softly beaded gown.  Its form-fitted long-sleeved bodice was like what I would think an Angel might wear because at the waist it blossomed into a swaying radiant flower petal, not too full, just enough elegance to enhance the bodice and state clearly my worth. 

The night before the Dakota and I were to take our vows I had a disturbing dream.

I recall my first memory of the dream was that something was amiss.  My stockings were bunched up inside my white satin pumps. 

My friend Linda who passed away six months previously came into my dream and wanted me to wear five-inch beaded sandals so I would at least reach Dakota’s armpits.  Oh, hell no I told her I would fall on my way down the aisle and ruin everything!  Linda laughed but then her face became sober and she agreed.  Then we both laughed.  She also reminded me stockings were a thing of the past and I should throw them out.  She then inquired why was I wearing navy blue tights under my white Angelic dress?  Not even stockings?  I looked down and told her I didn’t know.  Then Dakotas father, Dalton, came over to help me with the navy-blue tights.  He knelt and gently lifted my foot toward him.  He took ahold of the twisted-up tights, straightened them out, folded them under my foot, and placed my foot back into the shoe like in the movie Cinderella.  Then he fixed the other side. Dalton then stood up and exited my dream. He and Dakota were security.  Linda was watching shaking her finger as to say no. I looked at her and said, No what? And then she faded away.  Next, I was walking away when I noticed a secret pocket in my dress. I fumbled around because it was so small and discovered Inside the pocket was a satin ring holder bag with a tiny zipper.  I unzipped it and inside was goo.  Snotty green goo with one large chunk of goo.  I was sickened by the smell and sight.  I quickly went to the laboratory and cleaned out the tiny satin zippered ring bag using all the paper towels available. I then came back to the wedding area walking around watching people and listening to what they were saying.  Someone told me I should go back to the dressing area. That I wasn’t supposed to be out here.  So, I did.  I got a phone call from a man who told me he was at a party.  He was in the sex room and wanted to know if I wanted to join him.  I secretly thought it was Val.  I said NO, I am getting married today you pervert. The man who called had been drinking heavily.

I woke up back at the real wedding standing at the altar with Dakota. It had gotten to the place where the minister asks if there was anyone there who had any objections to this marriage they were to speak now or forever not speak of it. It was silent for what seemed like an eternity when out of the blue and unexpectedly the entire crowd in unison made a gasping sound.  A man sitting in a pew at the center of the church stood up.   Dalton, Dad, Dakota, me, and everyone else turned to look at the man who stood silent.    It was a near unrecognizable Val.  Dear God, he looked like a homeless man.  Tears began to fall hard and fast from my soul onto the beautiful Angelic pearls whose voices were now screaming back at the hot tears falling onto their once restful existence.  They were trying to tell me.  The tiny zippered nasty ring bag was trying to tell me, the navy-blue tights bunched up in my peaceful shoes were trying to tell me. The phone call from Hell was trying to tell me.  Did I listen?

Val didn’t speak, he turned, walked toward the large wooden doors, pushed them open, turned and looked at me one more time with a tear-stained face of a beaten-down man, and walked out of the building. 

I looked at Dakota, then my dad.   I lifted my perfect life Cinderella dress and ran down the aisle and out the large wooden doors chasing the lost illusion.  I heard the guests going nuts but I never looked back.  If I had I would have seen Dakota bent over in tears, his father trying to console him, and my father standing at the church doors watching me get into Val’s truck, throwing my veil out the window and driving away. Away from him forever.

They found my body beaten to death, still in my Angelic wedding dress that could have taken me to a different future.  But instead, my emotions allowed me to go left at the Y in the road of my life road which led me down the ancestral path to death by another bad choice.

I didn’t listen to the warning signs.    

 (Pierre Alex Jeanty author.  I bought his books, they are inspiring and teach.  This one reminded me of my dream last night so I am sharing.  You can find him on facebook.


Thursday, December 30, 2021

Bullied: Nana's Rap Video by Julianna Rowe


 So I have never done this before!  Obviously!  I wrote this RAP song in the 1990's when my daughter was being bullied in H.S.  I lost half the song when we upgraded from Windows 95.  LOL.  My family told me to post this on Tic Tok but I dont know how.  Working on it.   So now my Granddaughter is being bullied in Grade School.  So I posted.  Probably needs some work but here it is. (Not on Tic Tok yet)

Monday, December 20, 2021

I Will Be Packin' a Gun!............ by Julianna Rowe

(This is a re-post from 2013) 
Today I am getting in my new used truck and driving to a pawn shop somewhere and buying a gun. Yes I am.  I am going to be packin'.  I am then going to bring that gun home after I line up all my computer, camera, VCR, DVD, tablet, laptop, photo do da days, printers, phones, smart phones, monitors, old Sony video camera, old Memorex video camera, Pinnecal studio, Dazzle creator, and whatever else has a computer based brain, and I am going to kill them all.  Shoot them dead.  Make wire kill.  And after that I am driving to Best Buy and spread their wirey ashes all over the parking lot. 
After that I may have the techno melt down I deserve to have.
I purchased a Honestech VIDBOX to transfer the hundreds, well sixty or so of VHC's and Poloraid movies to DVD.  I followed the directions and danged if I didn't get it up and running.  I then replayed to make sure they would work. Whalla...success.  So I continued making many until I had a nudge to make sure they would play on a different computer.  I don't have a DVD player because I watch Netflix.  I put the DVD in my laptop. I had to search to find where it went.  When I found it there were a few choices so I chose the largest file.  It took a long time to load as my laptop is older.  After it loaded and started to play there was NO SOUND!  Cute little kids from years past whose cute little voices could only be recognized if you can read lips. 
Then I tried to hook up a borrowed VCR to my new flat screen TV. I have several large VHS tapes that need transferring also.  Followed the directions.  No picture.  Tried AV, tried component, tried channel 4.... made sure it was turned on....pushed play, rewound...  just want to kill it is all.  Wasted last night and all day today. And yes I also hooked it up thru the new VIDBOX to the new PC with no success.
My Granddaughter is 21 now.  I have a video of her at age 4 doing Forest Gump just like Tom Hanks.  I am trying to post it here.  Hope that works or I am going to kill the new PC too.

 I think they wont give me a gun right away.  Something about background checks.  So by the time I get it I may have settled down some.  And then again maybe not.  Besides I bit my cheek in my sleep and it is horribly painful.  And the grocery stocker put Turkey baby food jars in with the Ham so now I have to drive back there to return the Turkeys because my cats don't like Baby Turkey, only Ham.

With that I will sign off.  Laters.  Be safe, Be well, Be happy, and get rich so you an hire a Geeker to transfer your movies to DVD.  And so you can buy a MAC.  Not that it would be any easier I suppose.  P.S.  I can shoot quite well.  My Granddaddy taught me when I was 9.     

Different Dimensions..... by Julianna Rowe

 

Once Upon A Time….. either inside my head or outside, I know not “witch,” lived the beautiful land of Killarney, Ireland.  The grasses around Killarney were the colors of every green and more in my hundred and eighty box of crayons from grade two. As I looked out over the hills and valleys the quilt called Killarney Green truly was.  I wonder if I weren’t in space momentarily, peeking outside where I truly lived, looking onto something not real. For its beauty was not being measured by what senses blessed my extreme intellectual level. Ah, maybe that is the culprit here?  Or was I in space having died of my previous matter of being?  Either way Killarney was my home now.  Or so I thought.

The cloths that held my new body nearly draped the ground. A long white apron covered part of the cloths and they flowed weightless as the gentle winds of Killarney blew a mist of salty sea water across my milkin pure skin. I was pure, humm.  Since when did that occur but it had so, I went with it because it felt PURE.  Clean.  And then I saw the others gathering this and that being busy like they each knew their intended jobs and did them.  And still in the back ground were those scenic patchwork green acres of land with the sea as a distant background.  I looked like one of those Amish women.

Then I observed a group of people sporadically painting a few of the rocks in the area.  They would stop on occasion looking at me for approval.  It was told to me through spiritual communication that I had designed the rock painting that needed my permission which of course I gave.  My creations were a magnificent display of art blending into the landscape as though from God thru me.  I was no longer in the long dress with the long white apron.

I heard a sound to my right and turned in wonderment of the sight.  How could this be?   A woman is laying in a stall in labor of child.  But it is an animal stall and she is having trouble birthing her baby child. There was no one to assist her.  I continued to watch.  One man came forth holding a tiny Bristol brush he instructed the other man how to use.  He told him if he gently as possible brushed the area of the woman’s cervix the infant child could be born without further pain and possible trauma.

The woman in labor had sent a message to her best friend to come and be with her but the woman friend ignored her summons and went about her business of chores and happiness.  She didn’t wish to be bothered with her friend’s pain.

The man who appears to be the overseer of birthing explained to the woman this new procedure that should bring on the birthing with less difficulty.  Telling her it would be somewhat uncomfortable but the result would end the misery.  She agreed and he proceeded to bristle the cervical area and within moments a child was born in the animal stall in Killarney, Ireland.  A land unknown to most.

One day the woman was walking her baby and came upon her friend who had ignored her pleas for assistance in the birthing. The friend fell into deep despair of crying and begging forgiveness for her lack of caring.  The woman forgave her friend but the others did not.  She was ostracized by the community because her true heart shown she had merely gotten caught and was not repentant at all. 

The man who lived in a room in Killarney was viewing all the same things I was but said nothing, only watched as I did.  Who was this man?  But then who was I? For in a flash, we were riding on the edge of a shooting star and the scene changed.  I was living in a different time and place once again.  This house was built of cement.  Possibly I transported to Italy? Or New Mexico? I always liked being in control of myself but this was something I knew I had to let go of and flow along with.  It wasn’t like I was in any river with crashing frightening rapids, more it was a trickling creek with tributaries the spirit had chosen for me to take off the main flow.  Most likely some form of learning or lesson and so far, it had not caused me duress.  At the least that was my summation of this movie inside my head that really wasn’t.

Inside my new stucco home, I felt safe.  The man from Killarney was still with me but not in view.  He seems to have his own area he viewed from yet I could always feel his presence.  

There was a knock on my door.  Before I had a chance to open it a man of another nationality pushed the door in and then another man doddled in behind him. They began pushing me around and I was frightened. I told them I was calling the police but of course they laughed when one of them took my phone.  The man that cared for me opened a porthole in the room.  Right out of midair.  I could see him laying down on something when he mentally summoned me into the porthole but not all the way.  I was told spiritually if I went all the way I wouldn’t be able to come back again.  The man was not all the way either.  I did as he requested and stepped into his domain.  I laid down next to him and noticed a very large tear coming from his left eye. He asked me if he could love me and I said yes.  His lips were wet and had the consistency of jello from many previous tears all held in one pocket next to his left eye.  I placed my hand on his face and wiped the tear that told his sad story away from him.  He told me how much he loved me and how everything was going to be alright.  I kissed his very wet lips for a long time.  I was pulled back by the interference of the police who had recently arrived needing to ask me more questions regarding the intruders.   The man told me he would be watching and waiting for me.  I asked him if he was dead?  Or was I dead?  He just stared at me with love, no words. 

The house belonged to my step Nana.  She was well to do before she passed away.  She was also overseeing my walk through this self-made movie set or heaven’s school, I knew not which. Maybe I was roaming in one of the twelve different dimensions spirit told me of but that I was also to be careful not to step too far into.  In my estimation that may have already happened.  I wondered if I would get to choose “witch” one I preferred or if the Universe was in charge.  I suspected the latter.  And what if the man didn’t love me and was a wolf in sheep’s clothing?  Either way I had to continue the journey.

I was over- cleaning when three people talked me into traveling back to Ireland for a business deal. Something about my calling to write so I agreed.  While standing at the airport or what seemed more like a train station, I felt the urge not to go.  I never listened like I should have to the still small voice.  No, I preferred the loud usually incorrect voices that seemed more REAL.  It was truly the opposite.  And so, we arrived in Ireland and I knew instantly it was a mistake.  We were not at the same beautiful Killarney, rather a stale building inside their cold apartment.  This was the second fear filled moments of my journey.

I snuck a legal pad from the tenant who convinced me to travel with them. I began writing to the man who said he loved me.  The man with so many tears, but my pen would skip to the place he wouldn’t be able to read my words.  I grabbed another pen and it did the same.  I attempted to tell him the trouble I was in and needed help.  I folded the paper and addressed the envelope to “somewhere” beyond the sea.  The owner came over and took it from me saying she would see it was sent.  My mind and heart were vacillating between flesh and spirit but I didn’t know it.

The man answered my letter with his voice.  He was upset I had left without warning, with not forethought of the dangers whether it be dangers of the flesh or dangers of the spirit.  Both existed.  I kept saying I was so sorry but he didn’t stop scolding.  He referred to me he would be back, to listen for him. He told me if I didn’t stop searching for things outside my true path he was going to give up and move.  I would not be able to find him.  I heard him and took his words to heart.  But I was still lost.

In the meantime, of this dimension, I wished I were not in, the female owner brought a dog into the larger of the rooms.  She sat him down and asked me if I would like a puppy.  I said I didn’t believe it was a good time for me to have a puppy and that dog was not a puppy.  She laughed a strange laugh like I used to hear a “witch” laugh when I was little. I decided words were not my friend at that time and stilled my fleshly voice.  Why weren’t there people communicating in the spirit like the others all had.  Oh God where was I because it surely wasn’t Killarney, Ireland by the beautiful patchwork hills and baby blue peaceful ocean with its mirrored surface reflecting the heavens and all it glories.  No, I was in some downtown coal yard that resembled the bad section or Detroit.

The woman continued.  She told me she could get me a puppy in less than two hours from this male dog.  I started to laugh when I realized her expression was for me to pretend, I believed. This was one of those times I imagined myself raising both arms and shouting.

“Praise the Wicked Witch of all wisdom and knowledge!”  

But of course, that was only in my imagination because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and needed to listen very carefully for my way out. But it appeared it was not time yet.

Witch lady took a syringe and injected it into the back of the skull of the dog.  The dog felt no pain and did not flinch. I did not cringe out of fear of retaliation. I did not want a needle inserted into the back of my head so I could have puppies or babies or anything.   I made myself remain calm as she inserted the long needle into the brain of the male dog.  He ejaculated sperm in an opposite direction than normal for a male dog.  She cackled at her feat.  The male dog had impregnated himself and within minutes she showed me an Xray of five puppies in a sac inside the male dog.  She cackled again saying they would be born shortly and I could have my pic of the litter.  I didn’t want a puppy, I just wanted to go back to the dimension I was loved in.  Not the one with bad men and police, or women of the old days having babies in the barn, or where witches lived and caused real and true horrors. 

And that is when I heard the voice of the man.  He gave me instructions how to escape the witches dimension and get back to the train station.  I had accidentally taken the train to Ausch- “witch.”

I did as directed and was home in a nano second or so.  I stood in a void staring going in a circle searching for the man.  I begged him to open the porthole again for me but he didn’t.  Had I waited too long and he moved away.  I cried, I pleaded, I threw myself on my knees in earnest prayer he would return for me.  Nothing.   Was this it?  I was on my own.  I sat on the grass and cried the same thick heavy tears the man had.  Why couldn’t I find him and why couldn’t he find me?  The loss and grief were unbearable. 

I opened my eyes, turned to the right, pushed the button on the clock that lit up to say it was 8:06 a.m. There was no man who loved me, no Ireland, no witch, no puppies, no train stations, and no help coming. Only the metaphors of a dream sent to help me decipher my own mind and journey.

Good Morning Flesh and Spirit….  But beware where you thoughts and decisions can take you. Dead or ALIVE 



Tuesday, December 14, 2021

I Have a Secret.......by Julianna Rowe

I dont know if my comments button works but if you have a secret I would love to hear it.  No names need to be added to the secret.  Here is mine. 

Before bed every night I spray a shot of Elizabeth Taylor's "White Diamonds" on my hair and a touch on my body in case I die before I wake I pray I dont stank!  

(In case they come to take me away in the black bag) 


 dianeogden.ogden@gmail.com  

Friday, December 10, 2021

The 10-10-10 Rule by John Tesh re:written by Julianna Rowe

 

The 10-10-10 rule

 I heard this on the 107.3FM radio station, Madison, Wisconsin, with John Tesh as the announcer. He gives little tid bits of more than grand info to all us listeners. He always was the all-American boy next-door apple-pie guy.  Anyway...John Tesh says.... whenever making any sort of decision it is best to use the 10-10-10 rule. I was ready for the rule when then the station took a commercial break and luckily, I was still around after it. John says when making any decision think about what the consequences will be in 10 minutes, in 10 months, and in 10 years. Then he gave this brilliant but average example. If your child calls you at work crying and carrying on because s(h)e needs you to be home for a special homework project they forgot to tell you about, or the need for a special dinner, or their boyfriend broke up with them, you must think how you will feel and how it will affect your life in 10 minutes if you leave work. How your child will feel or how your decision will affect your life and theirs in 10 months if you leave work and do what they wish, and considering that your boss may disagree is a concern also. Then how this will affect you in 10 years? Could leaving work early to amend the emotions of a child cause you any regrets? In 10 minutes will the child be over it? Probably not. Will the child forget all about this one evening? In 10 months? Probably. And in ten years could you have lost that promotion and all that goes with it, and the child has absolutely no recollection of the issue. Such as a large raise in salary that could change your life and allow that child that called with the tantrum a college education! Just an example of how making decisions on emotions can affect/ruin a life or two. Me, I am old enough to know that I wish I had known about the 10-10-10-Rule. I didn't and it did affect my life and my children's. Not that I ever left work early for a child throwing a tantrum.... but I do have 10-10-10- regrets. As we all do, I am sure and have made the best of it. The key is from now on I shall use the 10-10-10 rule for sure. A good rule indeed. Almost as good as the Golden Rule so, put the 10-10-10-Rule and the Golden Rule in a jar and shake them up and you have good decisions without a doubt. But do realize this. If the child needs you to be at a special athletic dinner or important live celebration in his or her honor and you chose work over them, that is a whole different bag of potatoes! Like John T says, 10-10-10 again and again.

 

atlantachristianweb.com/celeb_features/tesh.asp


Thursday, December 9, 2021

Gut Instincts by Julianna Rowe

My friend and mentor tells me to make my decisions by using my "gut." You know as in "gut instincts?" Well it stinks alright because what starts in my head ends up like scrambled eggs or Humpty Dumpty that cant get put back together again....Or like a big ball of unraveling string. And we are all learning or have learned that what we think is what we get. Oh great, now I can think about how I cant be put back together again like Humpty or Scrambled eggs. Actually some decisions if made incorrectly without following the "gut instinct" could have those not-s0-g00d consequences. Yikes...how to cut the ball of unraveling string that leads to the heart and causes heart strings, and those strings don't live too far from the poor "gut" that is trying to unravel the mess and come out with a clean answer.
Sometimes I don't do anything regarding a decision which allows life to make the decision for me...again, not-so-good I have found out through trial and error. How much error can the mind and body handle? Pretty much from my experience. Not that I wish to experience such again. Letting life make my journey vs mwah that is! So, is my gut half full or half empty? Ask me tomorrow.


 

Heartstrings.....

My Executive Order $$$$$$$$$$.......... by Julianna Rowe

  My Executive Order J$$$$$$$$$$ .......by Julianna Rowe Somewhere along the way, politics changed my signature. I realize that sounds like ...