Maybe I Killed Her! by Diane Ogden

Today is New Years eve day and I worked a normal schedule but before my day began I needed to make a stop at a Bank on our Capital Square which happens to be smack downtown Madison! This being a fact also includes rush hour traffic which my son laughs at considering he is from Los Angeles. How dare I make any such comments on traffic. We basically have none here according to him.  I suppose that is true.  Nevertheless I made my way thru it to the bank. Found a parking spot directly in front, dug around for my money, two twenty's, as I needed change for the final dollars of pay for my helpers on the job later.  I hustle on into the bank, this particular bank, as I had to drop some magazines off I deliver once a month in the area, and had missed this stop due to a snow storm.  As I walk into the huge brass and glass doors I see an unkempt woman sitting in the lounging area.  I could see she was homeless and was struck by the fact the bank was allowing her to reside there, probably for the entire day.  Most business's will not allow this. I was glad to see she had a warm place to go. Most of the homeless in Madison have to walk around all day until the Church lets them back in at 5-6 p.m.  I handed the teller my $20 and got my change back...I kept the other twenty aside as I asked the teller if she thought it would be alright to give the homeless woman some money.  Why I felt I had to ask any one's permission I have no idea.  And I do know the Bible says to give and not tell anyone, yet here I am telling millions of people on my blog. Get real, only six read it anyway, and that is a good guess.  Back to point.  I leaned over and said, " I hope you can use this", as I handed her the twenty dollar bill.  Actually it didn't seem to register to her what I had handed her, or I suspect she thought it was a dollar. Suddenly I heard a guttural laugh and as she opened her mouth to do so I saw she had lost most of her top and bottom front teeth.  She was so shocked and happy she was still making noises as I exited the bank.  I really didn't need that twenty.  She did, or did she?  As I drove away with a few tears in my eyes from seeing such a sight and maybe from my own sweet appraisal of my good deed. Yes I remember what the good book says... hey I have a point, hang on.  I drive another block and recall her guttural voice. The voice of a heavy smoker and drinker.  I thought to myself, "You rum-dumb, you just may have killed that woman."  She probably bought some cigarettes, a bottle and got drunk.  If so the Church won't let her in at 5-6 p.m. which means she could freeze to death overnight after the booze wears off.  Well, I gave with good intent and felt led to therefore if the old girl croaks because of my gift of money, then she is probably happier than sitting in that bank all day long bored, and sleeping in the church all night.  R I P old girl.  But then again, she may have bought some hot soup and a brownie..... ya right! 

? Are They Gone?

Yes, "they" are gone, but not gone.  They are driving a Chevrolet across the USA, America is waiting just for them!  You know, that ole Dinah Shore commercial from when even I was a tot.  Back to my point. They left this snow covered Wisconsin Penthouse Number One Zero Five today after my noon soap opera finished.  Cody, my son recalls that soap, Days Of Our Lives from when he was a tot.  They were packing so it was acceptable for me to watch.  Then the dreaded for me, exciting for them, moment came to be.  Walking to the car, putting the last minute items inside, hugging the tear filled Mother, which neither will ever understand until they birth one of their own.  But they have manners and complied such to my tears. I mean they weren't the bawling cow kind of course.  They were the mannerly Motherly ones.  The cow kind were stuck in my gut and throat and brain and any such other places I could hide them.  I buy a LOTTO ticket once a week and I expect to win.  I tell the cashier every week that I am going to L.A. Hurry and check that ticket.  The cashiers ALL KNOW BETTER than to ever say, "Nope, Not a Winner!"  I give them the positive talk....(they get it now)  I really don't want to fall into the ocean someday because I don't like water, but I figure I might "pass out" and on before that ever happens so I might just gamble on it and go.  Soon as my numbers win.  The numbers are all my children's birth dates and mine.  See, cant lose with those numbers.  I am OK now.  Had an eye exam with dilation and cried some of those cow tears on the way home.  I figured if anyone saw me they would just think someone died.  No big deal.  People only cry while driving if someone has died, or if their son they hardly ever see visits for three days and then leaves again for 361 days. OK so I cant subtract...362 days.  Love you Cody and Laura...have a safe and protected drive across the USA in her Chevrolet, America is waiting just for you!!

So They Say This is Christmas...a Happy Time of the Year.. by Diane Ogden

It is a happy time.  I love Christmas because I get to spend money with no guilt!  NO GUILT.  In fact I add myself to my Christmas list every year...  Today I went to the mall, because I never got to move to New York City and live on the 21st floor and walk the streets with all the fancy shops and magnanimous lights everywhere.  And my creations in all the Macy's window displays.  Yes mine.  So whose fault is it that only happened in my head and not on land?  Surely my Mother's, but not really.  It was my fault.  I chose to marry a jerk drunk at age 17 and not for any particular had to reason! I just did it.I didn't have to.  What for?  Not sure, to get away from the Mother whose fault it wasn't I guess. That is surely where the term "Out of the frying pan into the FIRE" came from.  It had to be from my and only my, personal situation back in the 60's.  Isn't it interesting how we always tend to think no one else exists but ourselves sometimes?  Driving on the freeway or even side streets I find myself looking at other people and trying to see their life.  They have a big huge life just like mine.  I want to say, "Hey, stop....tell me all about your life."  Then again I think...no way hose' you folks keep right on driving by because I don't want nor do I need to know all about your big life.  I have one that needs tending to already.  And all because I didn't go to the Art Institute in Milwaukee. I had five babies instead and not a darn one of them live in New York City!  But a couple of them do live in Los Angeles. There is still HOPE for the big lites ....I think the 21st floor is out of the question now, and Macy's is only good for my Estee Lauder Super Cologne that I only continue to wear because when I "pass out" (and on) the kids have to be able to smell me when I try to communicate from beyond!  What's my blog point?  Macy's is Christmas and I have dreams that live inside the Macy's windows up and over there in New York City.  By the way, the drunk husband died.  The kids are all doing great.  I shopped for each one today at the mall...where the lights are not so big but at least OK and make me happy.  Merry Christmas to anyone driving by that has a big life I don't want to know about, and to everyone on every 21st floor apt. in New York City! 

He/She LookaLikes by Diane Ogden

OK, one of these is my 27 year old son and the other is my 22 year old daughter.

Merry Christmas from the Past by Diane Ogden

Black and White alright and check out that tinsel.  My brother and I wanted to "THROW" it onto that green tree but let me tell you that was not any where near acceptable. Each tiny strand of glistening silver had to be expertly hung on only the farthest extended branches as to lay properly without any kinks.  Wouldn't life be grand without any kinks?   Believe me we had the kinks in our family..... In this black and white sit my brother and I and Step-Nana and Grandad.  They had the bucks and I got cheap perms as you can see here.  Dad would cut down a tree from the REAL WOODS out back of our house, then saw the base, drill holes in the trunk of the tree and insert extra branches where necessary for fullness.  Every heard of that now days? Nope!  Now its off to the corner for the perfect-est tree which costs minimum of $50 plus, vs free and sprayed with chemicals and green paint to "keep" it fresh longer, not!  Mother would pop the popcorn and bring in the huge bowl of little red berries to be strung on heavy string for the tree.  My brother and I got to use a needle and thread for this treat.  We cut out colored paper strips and glued the circles one to the next for more tree foo foo.  Ooh how could I forget the ham squigglies.  In the olden days canned Ham came with a "key" to open it.  You hooked the key onto the tiny aluminum tab and twisted backwards all the way around the can.  If you miscalculated your screw and slipped, well, misperfection wasn't so cool in our household.  A n y w a y...after the can is opened you hold the key and pull down the section you wound up to create a long spiral shiny ornament!  They were rather sharp so we had to be very careful. After all it was aluminum.  There was always a bowl of "ribbon candy" sitting on the coffee table.  And some of the tiny sugar candies, peppermints, green mints, yellow ones.  They would crunch quickly between your teeth because they were so little.  Mother would bake home-made yeast breads filled with cinnamon and all sorts of other fancy cookies.  Dad would go out back of the house on Christmas Eve and change into his Santa suit in the chicken coup, then we would suddenly hear bells and know Santa was outside.  He would come to the door and Mother would let him in so he could sit in the big chair and talk to us. We would tell him what we wanted for Christmas and he would do the Ho-Ho-Ho then he would leave, but only after asking us to leave him some cookies and milk and his reindeer some carrots. My God we really bought it!!  To this day I swear I saw him ride out of site in his sleigh with eight tiny reindeer far into the night with a full moon for me to view him ahead of the huge night clouds far above the rooftops.  Indeed Christmas was always a fun time with good memories for me.  Even though the fam had/has "kinks."

Goodbye to Oma by Diane Ogden

I met Oma three or four times now over the past eighteen months-two years.  She is the Mother of one of my clients.  My client is German, from Germany. His wife is Japanese from Japan. Both parents speak the language of their Mother country and have taught their child to also speak both languages.
The first time time I had met Oma, she had come to visit her son and his family and the Grandchild who was only 18 months old and did not know her Oma. (Grandma in German) So Oma bought the little one at least thirty presents and wrapped them all pretty as can be.  So each time the little one allowed Oma to change her or feed her or hold her, she gave the child a gift. Quite the sweet way to help the Grandchild remember and bond with her.  Must say it was pretty cute too.
The second time Oma came to Wisconsin it was summer and I worried she might have a heat stroke because she worked in their yard all day in the hot weather...The baby was getting to know her this visit.
The next time she came it was winter and she insisted upon walking to the grocery store in twenty five degree below zero weather...  I called her son at work because this time I was worried she would freeze, but he said, "Yes we know, but she wont listen...so we have to let her go."   She came back just fine a couple hours later. 
This time, it's Christmas, and her daughter in law is out of town on business, so Oma got to take care of her son, and his small daughter, like in the decades of Oma's past.  We chat when she is visiting, but I have to listen close as her German accent is very thick. Today we talked about my family background being from Mecklinburg Germany and the origin of Nicholaus. (Santa Claus) And today she told me she would be gone upon our next time at their home.  Something spurned me to take her hands in mine, vs shaking hands.  I did this.  And her response was something I will never forget in my lifetime.  I looked into her eyes and said "Merry Christmas and may you have a safe and protected journey home. It has been so nice to see you again."  She squeezed my hands gently and as she looked into my eyes, hers began to sparkle, twinkle, shine, something!!  It was a spiritual moment without any doubt.  I wondered if Oma was an Angel.  Because that is the closest I have ever come to seeing an Angel in someones eyes.  Oma isn't a beautiful woman in the eyes of the fleshly world, but to me, she is an Angel from Germany. Or maybe she is one of the few truly nice human beings in this world.

The Fake Focker's are having a Fake Baby Focker by Diane Ogden

That means God is in this baby deal all the way, humor humor humor, (me).  For the sake of the child, myself and the Mother of course..  I live alone, well I used to live alone.  Then one day my daughter decided to be like the Focker's and have a baby.  But I am an alone Mother Focker type...  and she is an alone Focker daughter type, who is now having a baby Focker alone child to bring home to the alone Focker home she already has moved into.  Get it?  We are the new set of Focker's, the other half of the Focker's, with no big house with men in it, or traveling bus house. Are we the poor Focker's? Oh shit! I just wish we were as  funny as the Focker's.  Then again, maybe we just are!  We have parents who live on a "Funny Farm," grand parents who are a bit nutty.  We have auntie's and uncies who are  off in la la land, we have cousins who do not visit thank God, but we have the good spirits! I have four real Focker son's  besides this fake Focker pregnant daughter.  If the real Daddy ever "comes" around again we will kill him and bury him and then call the FBI or DEA whichever drug he was using at the time, will give us our first clue what to do. Just like the old Focker Grandpa would have done in real life.  I am a lot like Barbra Streisand except for the singing voice and big boobalays...and $ and so on. My daughter is just like the Focker son...always getting into some sort of mess, this time a reality one for sure...  "Under the bus" kind of reality deal.  Hey, we just found out today its a  Focker girl!  Happiness Happiness.  And more Happiness.  Boy, Girl? Dog Cat? It's another mouth to feed and stroller to push. And there isn't a True Focker in site.  So F. (For Focker of course) Enjoy this Focker day and Focker Blog post!