Happy Valentines Day Diane O......by Diane Ogden

I have been wanting a piece of cake for some time now.  So......my brain simply said NOW and this morning I stopped at a local grocer I happen to be passing when I could no longer put the brain craving off. 
You should have seen all the 80 plus year old men walking in and out with flowers and cupcakes and cookies, I suspect for some nice lady back at the ranch or home in the nearby neighborhood.  Or maybe like me there was no one at the ranch and they were merely severely having a Valentine's Day sugar love craving.  I love worthless cake roses.  I have loved worthless cake roses  ever since I was a kid.  I know I know,  and they leave a greasy fat coating in your mouth.  Fat! Yup! Do not care I love wedding cake roses, birthday cake roses, Valentine cake roses!  4th of July cake roses and so on. 

So I am not going to wait eight hours until I get home to scarf this little darlin and her two rose up.  I am sitting in my car in the grocer parking lot eating this sweet on myself cake with the spoon I brought in my lunch to eat my no sugar Motts Grannie Smith Applesauce.  How embarrassing is that to tell.
So notice I get to the first rose(I moved it) and I am so totally excited.  Sugar RUSH coming!  I decide to eat only one petal so as to savor the two little roses upon my pallet.  I tried to scoop a petal off and discovered it was hard.  I thought, whaaaooo, my rose is old and hard.  Then I started to hit the center of the rose and it was hello rock hard and obviously made of plastic.  Had I thrown it in my mouth whole like I usually do, so I can roll it around and enjoy it for as long as possible, I could have broken a tooth.  What kind of jerk bakery puts plastic roses on an itty bitty chitty cake and charges $4.99.  Robbery I say!  Corporate Valentines Day itty bitty chitty cake robbery. 

I bought myself the cute little cake because its Valentines Day and I love myself!  Anyway I knew no one else would buy me one as I "are" a single person.   I removed the plastic worthless roses and gave my "gremlin" looking doggie the pan to lick clean.  Doesn't she look like she might KILL if I try to take that pan of crumbs and frosting away?  I didn't, she put her paw inside it to hold it down and licked it spotless.  Happy Valentines Day from the Happy News Lady....