Spring? Finally! by Diane Ogden

I do believe Spring finally arrived in Wisconsin. Not that we haven't waited a very long time for it. Or is it Summer we are getting confused by. Spring is when you wear light blue and pink sweaters so I could and should say, "Spring is finally over??" We have had a few warm sunny days to splendor in. And many chilly days I get to laugh at the over zealous nut cases in shorts and sandals with goosebumps for accessories. I may drive around with a key in my trunk (its broken) but I am fully dressed with the accompany of a heater should I so need one. Arrogant, nope, because I am sure I am still one of the very few Americans who doesn't have a CD player in my car.

As for the birds, no not its for the birds, but as for them.....I like birds, not like some people do, just that I share space with them. But come Spring you can find me outside with my old sun dress on, cowpie boots, and Dad's old 30 ought shot-gun! Along with a huge plastic owl that sits on my porch to scare them away. Why? Because first I have to listen to them mate which entails screeching and calling and all sort of carryings on.... We'd get arrested if we did that..... then they nest in, and by Lord you just try and get out your door to walk your dog or just get out your door which is now their door... They dive my head, my dog...they scream some more... they fight each other protecting their young, they frippin take over. And try to sleep with a cool breeze coming in the window. NOT! They start at around 4:30 a.m. And that's it, I'm up, so is the dog, the cat is chirping in the window ready for all 300 of them...and I cant even get out of the house. There are no bird police....if I shoot that 30 ought in town I suspect I will see no birds at the jailhouse and if there are I can't open the windows.... So picture that 8 x 10 glossy.... the old lady and the birds! And who do you think wins another round another year? You got it...."The Birds." Wasn't that a movie a hundred years ago?

Artificial Intelligence..by Diane Ogden

I received an email from a friend telling me that when she called her husband to come pick up his Dinner Tray he mumbled the words "artificial intelligence." She said she couldn't figure out why he said that. Didn't take me long to figure it out! She had been "wondering" if his hearing might be wavering and stated that fact. So when he didn't answer her call for "Dinner Tray Time," she summoned him a bit louder and closer to him......that is when the saying came forth from his positive mouth/mind! "Artificial Intelligence" .....my new words for anyone that thinks they know more than I do or says anything to me in any other tone than perfect. LOL. I laughed all and any bad cells from my body over this one. Especially when she told me she would have to think on why and where that strange comment came from. H E L L O ! Artificial Intelligence....In other words, (you think your so smart.) Best line I have heard in years. Kudos to the husband for not saying what he was really thinking and for using such class regarding this "comeback" he is so noted for in life... Names and faces have been left out to protect our friendship. I am still laughing...even if I got it all wrong. DUH, doubt it.

"Pumpin Gas" by Ben...by Diane Ogden

This is Ben! Isn't he just precious? I was driving to Sauk City to deliver something and then onto Prairie Du Sac when I passed this shabby gas station and noticed the sign said, NO ETHANOL.....well I like no ethanol because my car runs better. The book that came with my car tells me not to use ethanol, but where does one find gas with no ethanol anymore...well there it was....looking like something right out of the Ozark Mountains....not Shabby Chic, just shabby. I made a U- Turn and pulled on up to the pump and before I could get my door open Ben came strolling out. I said, "What?" Then I said, "Oh my Godliness, are you going to pump my gas?" He grinned and I started squealing all about how many years it had been since any one pumped my gas. I asked him if everyone got as excited as I did. He told me only the "out a towners!" LOL... Then I said, "Wait, how much extra?" He said, "Nothin." I said I liked something for nothing. Then I got the camera out and told him I had to have pictures of this after he headed to wash my windshield. What a blow that was. I decided I would fill up there once a month on my little journey to that city of 3,234 people and where many come from all over to watch the Eagles by the river. Midway Sinclair Station, Prairie du Sac, Wisconsin if your ever in the area. I am still enjoying the treat I experienced today with Ben and my car. Oh this is Ben taking my debit card inside to slide it, bring it back to me to sign! I had gone inside to pay when another man in there told me Ben would take care of that! I ran on back to my car, got in, shut the door, and enjoyed the moment.

Morning Walk...by Diane Ogden

It's Mother's Day today and the sun is shining now thank God! Gracie Allen and I took our morning podie run which went on much longer than I expected. She has learned that when she poddie's we turn around and go back home. So she waits for at least a half mile before she relieves herself. And this morning in Wisconsin is was so chilly I wore a turtle neck sweater and winter coat and should have taken the ear muffs! I did take the camera for some little pics from our morning walk...notice the trees are not all green yet, but on their way...enjoy! And Happy Mother's Day and many more!

Cody Ogden Goes Harley...by Diane Ogden

Actually Cody (son number three) did a photo shoot for Harley Davidson in Los Angeles last week and obviously I cannot use those "hot" photos due to copyright sooo.... These came from someone taking pictures after the official ride. Cody said they had many riders in the photo shoot along with a Police Escort as well as traffic being stopped in certain areas. And he got paid for it! Cant beat that...riding new Harley's with Police Escorts and getting paid for it. And I don't know about you, but when I first saw these photos I thought the other man was Cody! But then I have more photos then these.... What a fun way to spend a day. Unless it was 101 degrees that is. These two could be twins with the helmets on....whoa...and I am the Mother, I should see the diff right away... I didn't.

RunAway Bride...by Diane Ogden

Is this the best or what? I am training them "up right." My Grannie was married too many times, My Great Grannie was married too many times, my aunties were married too many times (I guess they were Mennonites or Quakers and the girls were given up to old men at very young ages..eewww, which turned them into searching for something they were never trained to search for) so to set the girls right I showed them several negative videos of horrible things happening at weddings! People falling off tables, fainting, tornadoes taking the church away, dresses falling off, and so on. And then they saw my first husband in a coffin and then a hearse...all the while I am hoping they will connect marriage/weddings with death. OK so I am not on a realistic page. And I lied....I didn't tell them any of that awful truthful stuff. Stuff is my college word when in lack or another. Actually what I saw today was Drama in the form of little girls in gowns. Just like Prom...crying, fighting, running away, bully girls, yet all beautifully gorgeous while doing so! Drama Drama Drama like the monkey's at the zoo. My son calls it un-evolved. Ya think? But they certainly had fun at Nana's today while they reminded her/me of the three weddings I should have RUN AWAY from... but no I had to play Cinderella Poo....less one full to over pouring cup of drama equals a flat line/life after the wedding. Sad to say this dress up day turned out so traumatic for me. I'll be fine...I put an ad on Craig's List for the real deal. Wedding dresses for the girls AND ME to play RUN AWAY BRIDE with. I'll have them trained "UP RIGHT," (all puns intended") by the time they might think they want to walk down any isle.... and right out the back door! And if I'm alive I'll be the one to whisk them off in my 20 year old Lincoln with the ass end dragging because the air ride shocks died before I did. Picture that 8 x 10 glossy! Better than any fake carriage ride and of course I am NOT cynical!!

Yellow Vitamin D...by Diane Ogden

Every time I open my refrigerator I swear I get a dose of Vitamin D! It is so bright it reminds me of the Sun! I got this idea from my daughter in law. I noticed she put plain towels on her fridge shelves as she has young children who spill a lot, so I tried some antique doilies but they were just dull. Then driving around one day I thought about red place mats on the fridge shelves but said to self, eeww, that is awful, not red. Then green, no ick! Yellow, Yes Yellow! I found eight nice bright yellow towels for $7.00. I picked them up without flinching. I knew that I knew those were MY fridge shelf towels.... Now every time I open that door it shines like the afternoon sun. I am in such awe of the "pretty" I forget to eat too much. Did I say too much? Guess so. I love my yellow sunshine refrigerator. These will be great in the Winter Time! And it's great now. Try it....you'll like it...hey maybe pink huh?