Meet Chicken Dog......by Diane Ogden

So this would be my little "Chicken" dog! She looks a bit scared with her lil ears back because Mama has put a coat on her. Not just any coat but a scary wild cat of the leopard type coat. This means she refused to "pee" outside. (don't panic she has podie pads inside) She also refuses to "pee" outside when its too cold, too wet, to icy, no grass in sight, too foggy, and so onBut there I stand anyway like a dummy saying, "GoPodie Gracie, Come on you can do it!" Like we are at a soccer or doggie swim meet. Jeez I get frustrated. Then is when I get the look you see in photo. "But Mom, I just cant. I just cant find the right spot!" Of course she gets a major treat if she goes outside so she does try. You should see her walking and squatting down the sidewalk, but not going while trying to find the right spot. All the while I am saying, "Go Podie Gracie, you can do it!" For all I know the baby bladder is empty and she is trying to please me. Good God. I took her out this morning and was amazed to be able to see the grass considering the blizzard of 2012

last month. But it was wet and foggy so I could see the look in her eye saying to me, "Piss on that grass. NOT going there and I'm outta here Mom." And so she was leaving me standing in the damp cold with coconut oil all over my hair and face. Couldn't find my baseball cap so I grabbed a ski hat and prayed not one of the hundreds that live here would come out those doors because it would be something they might never forget! Even I avoid the mirrors until I have my Sunday go to meeting face on thank you. Maybe that's why Grace wont pee. She doesn't recognize the face I was birthed with. humm.

LuLuBelle got it this morning too. I woke up to her nails scratching my Grandmothers antique sofa. I shouted from my comfy bed...."I'm going to kill you and make a pillow outta your furry ass!" She must know English because she ran like the wind. I expect the tenant above me did also. Soooo, until I run into another fancy funeral, or something interesting and maybe funny, Be Well, Be Happy, Be Safe and get rich so you can recover antiques without worry. And get a face fix for sure Molly!

Trapped in a Funeral Procession with Big Daddy.....by Diane Ogden

As you all or most of you know, I do not have a working gas gauge in the old Buick. I have to guess when to buy gas and after the "run out" last month I am ever so careful.  Hey, I am the one that carries the emergency kit and the flashlight that blink a dinks and so on.  Like I keep an extra water bottle and a can of tuna under the seat in case I drive off a bluff and need to stay alive until some one finds me.  Yes I am laughing too.  Okay so....today the Buick gas gauge dinged.  It does ding when it has four gallons left.  But come on the damn ding is scary.  The lever goes to NAUGHT and dings.  Even though I have learned I have four gallons left I panic at the ding ding.  Today was the second ding ding day so I pulled into a BP station where I get 5 cents off a gallon for purchasing overpriced groceries at a certain store. 
Suddenly I see about a hundred and fifty African American
people descending on the BP Gas station like ants.  Yes where I am purchasing gas.  I mean whoa.....what's going on H E L L O! And they were all so pretty!  Let me say there were hats and white patent shoes and suits like you don't see everyday anywhere around here. The children looked like models. That is when I turned my head a tad and saw the CHURCH!  The Church next door to the gas station mini mart that is.  O-M-G  Its a funeral fool! (Talking to self )  And I am parked vertically and they are lined up with their lil orange flags in each of their 150 cars all lined up A-HEAD of me and "in my way!" Now I am in no way being disrespectful.  But I cannot even get turned around to get back to the  exit.  Truly all I could do was laugh.  Not at the death, but at the stupid of it all.  How'd I pull into a BP so I could save a nickle and lose an hour.  But I gotta say I received quiet the show cause those folks know how to do it all.  They dress better then we do (white folks that is).  They sing better, they dance better, they show their emotions better.  All the while we white folk are trying to darken our skin and keep them in their place.  What place?  We should  show such emotion at our funerals etc.  And let me say when I finally got to turn around and get out of there and onto the main road......There he was.  Big Daddy, A fancy dressed African man directing the traffic on a main highway thoroughfare all around him as well as maintaining the line up of the 150 cars with the orange flags.  Who do you know that would have the nards (and they are probably restin' in gold plated unders)to take in on.  This procession meant to stay together mama!  And if it took him getting out of his fancy Lincoln and directing all traffic, who obeyed his commands might I add....so that family could drive to the cemetery as "one," so be it baby.  What one of us white folks would do that?  Bout none that I know.  When I lived in the South it was proper to pull your car over to the side of the road to show respect for the deceased and family.  Around these parts notsomuch! P.S. If you want to see a real Jesus Sunday-visit one of their fine church services.  I have done this and it uplifting for sure.  Well except when they throw themselves (a select few) off the bench and wiggle around in the spirit.  (Absolutely no offense intended)

photos compliments of:  #1  www.masterfile.com
                                        #3  www.oldhippie.org
                                        #2  www.independent.co.uk

Wine Drinking Cork Board............by Diane Ogden

If I drank wine which I do not because my elbows get numb and weak after a mere half a glass.  Then after a glass and a half I am drunk. Yes, a staggering fool.  Sooo that being said I do not drink wine.   Actually I think its a sugar issue with me.  I can have a mixed drink with Scotch and soda and be fine, but not wine.  That being said I may never be able to have one of these fine cork-boards.  I think this board is one of the classiest ideas I have seen in some time.   Hope it gives someone the inspiration to drink enough wine to make one. 

So until I find another cool idea at a clients home or elsewhere, or something humorous, Be Safe, Be Well, Be Happy (drink wine) and get rich so you can buy an amazing cork-board like this.  Or just buy a billboard!  See ya

My Face! My Face!.................by Diane Ogden

I am almost older than dirt! That being said do take notice of the face cremes on hand at present time. Actually now that I see it as it truly is I might be a face creme hoarder. Should I call the networks? Nah, maybe next year. Let me say I have used, no I do use:

- Bobbi Brown
-Elizabeth Arden Ceremide
-Glycoderma
-Estee Lauder Night Repair
-Estee Lauder Swiss Formula
-Burt's Bee's Night Creme
-Walgreens Glycolic Acid
-Mary Kay exfoliator and Refresher
-Nutregena Advanced Resurfacing'
-Nutregena Day Repair
-VASOLINE oh yes!!
-We Care Cocoa ButterCream
-L'Bri Gentle Moisture Lotion
-Derma Repair Hydroxy Acid-C
-Aloette Retorative Enzyme Peel
-Arbonne Night and Day Creme
-Derma Life Protective Moisturizer
-Lancomb Hydra Zen

Okay so I don't use all these at once or I would be sliding or sticking all over my pillows eeeeww..  It's because I am older than dirt that I feel the need to try to soften the ruts in my face.  So far nothing has worked very well.                              I was listening to the infamous Dr. Oz the other day and he said the latest trend is Coconut Oil.  I was thrilled because I had purchased a very expensive jar of the stuff for cooking and so I did cook with it ONCE!  It made my hash browns taste like my old suntan oil from the 70's!  I almost gagged.  So you can imagine the thrill when I realized I could use that nasty eating oil on my face, my feet, my scalp and in my eggs if I so choose which I do not.   I cant say I will throw all my million dollar face cremes out just yet.  But I am onto this Coconut Oil deal.  It is expensive, but way less expensive than that Bobbi Brown jar.  Holy Hundred Dollar bill!  So until I find something humorous and interesting.  Be safe, Be Well, Be Happy and get RICH so you can have the ruts in your face fixed for good. 

 

 

 

 

 

Christmas in January.............by Diane Ogden

 

Karsyn, Me, Bree, Kennede, Camryn

Uncle Chad and Briana Hull

Briana and fiance James

 

On this particular Sunday, January 8th, most people have already taken th

eir Christmas tree down.  The radio stations have stopped playing Christmas Carols.  The sales are winding down at the malls. Me, I am still singing Jingle Bells and searching for my amazing Alan Jackson Christmas CD.  You see I had the 2012 flu!  And it was awful.  So awful I had to  cancel Christmas.  I barely got any shopping done......I was still wrapping the day the family was arriving.  Danielle, Cayden, and Cody are missing because their car was broken down.  Son Chris is somewhere in the South traveling with his ladyfriend.  Son Cody is in Los Angeles, Son Daniel is in Pekin, Illinois eating prison food.  I do hope to be alive when the doors open for him to come home.  My Dad is missing from the celebration as he died last June. 

All in all we had a fine time opening a few gifts and having great brownies and ice cream.  No, no big dinner this time.  Just happy to have pulled off a mini get together.So until I find something humorous or horrible or hot.... be well, be happy, and be safe and to all a Good Night!  Lindsay Ogden, Karli Ogden, Kennede, and Karsyn in photo below! 

Interference.................by Diane Ogden

My Granddaughter needed a blankie for her baby.  So I did the latest trend thingy and went to the fabric store where I purchased a couple yards of fleece to take home and cut 4" strips on all sides, tie them, and whalla, we have us a no sew baby blankie.  I finished the first baby blankie while the doggie kitty sat in the middle of my lil project. Top view.  That led me to believe I needed to make my dog one of these no sew blankie's.   And so when I got home from work this evening I started to make the doggie blankie and as you can see the doggie must have known this, and the kitty must have also known she was being left out because holy blankie they took over my project to let me know they knew!! 
The doll is happy with her blankie too! 

Happy New Year 2013 from Prison......by Diane Ogden

I could write about what a wonderful family dinner we all had on New Years Day or Christmas Day but we didn't.  I had cancelled Christmas due to the 2012 flu of which I must still have or else its something worse like some sort of plague.  Just kidding.  NOT!  I woke up the second morning after starting AZithromyicin with a stiff neck and neck spasms under each ear.  It has been such a thrill. I can finally move after five days but still have shooting pains up into my head and down my neck.  Told ya, some sort of plague.  So I have been a recluse of sorts at my apartment for a long time.  Then today I received two short emails from Tim and Jesus.  Yes Jesus....Ty for short.  As you all know I have a son who is incarcerated in one of our federal corporate banks called a prison.  You know a place where the family sends a few dollars for socks and or decent food and the corporation takes the money for the inmates restitution.  I didn't do anything wrong.  Why don't they do the old chain gangs or other such work programs for the inmates to pay restitution.  Back to my point.  I was so thrilled to receive two such sweet notes saying Happy New Year from one man with a 40 year sentence and the other FIVE life sentences.  (Used to be in a serious gang in Jersey)  I don't ask why. That way I don't judge.  I didn't receive but one card from family.  And that was from my fifth cousin Bob and his wife Merrie.  God does send us people with a message in strange ways doesn't he? 

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND CLUTCH AND ALL YOUR FAMILY,,, I have been thinking of you and hope you are making it through the winter o.k.   I am slowly getting it together... I am taking one more advanced culinary class as well as another law class and a computer class,,, I am also trying to get a job helping a handicap inmate until I get my therapy job back as I need some income, especially to do my legal work with all the copy cards, type writer ribbons paper and such to get things done right as this is a one time deal. and one that I cant fail... Tell Clutch that as far as help is concerned , that PAPA SMURF said he can help with my situation and also says he can help with the stuff Eileen is doing,,, ha , ha , ha  ,  you can imagine how anxious and nervous I am knowing that this is all that is out here right now... I tell you I have to go on faith, cause there is nothing else... Stay well my friends, and we will all pray for a good new year for all...  Love Tim

DEAR MOM,
I'M WRITING TO WISH YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR.  THINGS HERE ARE GOOD.  HOW ARE THINGS GOING FOR YOU?  GREAT I HOPE!  TELL DAN THAT ERNO AND I SAY HI AND HAPPY NEW YEAR. 
WRITE BACK WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE.
WITH LOVE,
TY