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Tuesday, August 3, 2021

"Bullied" ............Nana wrote a RAP song by Julianna Rowe

(I wrote this when my daughter and Granddaughters were in Jr.  High and High School about girl bullies.) 

          “BULLIED”

You call me a tard but I am not,

You are nothing but hallway snots.

And when it’s all over and you leave this place, 

You’ll be nothin’ but a sheer disgrace.

 I try so hard to be accepted, 

Only to see you all are infected.

You low-life creeps in pretty lies, 

I rise above you and all your cries.

The words of hate and jealousy, 

Strive to put me down where I don’t feel alive.

I hate myself and the skin I’m in, 

What you’ve done to me is truly a sin.

What I let you do is worse than that, 

I put on the fat scared hat.

You are nothing but hallway snots, 

And when its all over  and you leave this place,

You'll be nothin but a life's disgrace.

Scared of you who call me names, 

Scared of you who play the games.

I go to lunch nowhere to sit; 

You mock me with your words of wit.

You who call me the tard but I am not, 

You are nothin’ but hallway snots,

And when its all over and you leave this place, 

You’ll be nothin’ but a life’s disgrace.

You think you’re the best, because of your dress.

You be-ach-es of the hallways, that is what you do best.

I smile and laugh at your mocks each day; 

You walk away in mid-sentence I say.

Be-ach-es of the hallway is your goal, 

You made it you tards of the soul.

Not me I say, the names don’t count, I am smarter than you, 

Be-ach-es your due.

Due to get what you should receive, 

The same you gave, sheer deceit.

You call me a tard but I am not,

You are nothing but hallway snots.

And when it’s all over and you leave this place, 

You’ll be nothin’ but a sheer disgrace.

 

Sunday, August 1, 2021

Caleb Loved His Mother: Short Story by Julianna Rowe

 Caleb Loved His Mother:  by Julianna Rowe

15-year-old boy hiking with friends goes ahead of them like all competitive young men might do. Who can get to the top the fastest, and he did.  The other two kids were not as interested in the fast jaunt to the top so they could do the “Rocky” dance while displaying their man boy muscles not yet developed.  Not to mention the knobby knees of an underdeveloped young man. 

Caleb was always an overachiever, a smart boy moved onto the gifted classes at school. No one knew that underneath his desire to achieve was a human being who had been told he wasn’t good enough all his life. His mother was a frightened anxiety ridden woman who couldn’t stand up for herself much less her son.  Caleb’s father was a perfectionist making life unable to live for most who inhabited their home on the side of Bear Mountain.  An unbelievable to most log home with a stream or should I say river running under it.  Caleb’s father designed the water embellishments against the county’s orders stating the dangers that could develop over the years and weather conditions.  But Cecil never did what pleased anyone or did what anyone else wanted.  He did what he wanted. And so, he hired some fancy attorney’s who found Cecil a loophole in the law giving him the rights to have a river running under and around his magnificent log home.  Caleb’s mother had a fear of the river but Cecil could have cared less what she thought or felt.  Only Caleb cared about his mother. 

The logs had been shipped in from Montana and while its construction took place Cecil became known as a Czar in the area.  Nothing could be done to please his perfectionism.  Some of the workers quit midway through the job due to his arrogance and lack of knowledge as to how to build a three story log house on the side of a mountain with a river running under and around it.  Engineers from around the world had to be called in to assure the safety of not only the home, but the workers and the townspeople at ground level.  But Cecil didn’t care.  Hell, he had more money than God.  Why he had just won the lottery in small town USA Colorado.  That alone added to his belief that he was God and not just believed in him.  No, Cecil was a man hard to reckon with.  Caleb and his mother tried to stay out of Cecil’s way. Nevertheless, the sounds of that damn river would keep a person awake most nights just from the fear of the power of it.  It was useless.  You couldn’t swim in it.  You couldn’t drink the water from it.  You couldn’t fish in it, well you could but who would want to fish from the cement border walls that kept the rushing water from taking the house from its foundation down the side of the mountain and everyone and everything in its path.  Cecil didn’t want to swim or fish or bother to look at it.  Cecil wanted to show everyone he could do what he wanted to do when he wanted to do it and how he wanted to do it.  That was Cecil. 

The boys always let Caleb win because they knew what his life was like at home.  Not many teenagers would do that but those young men did.   And so, there was Caleb doing his Rocky dance atop the mountain his father would imminently destroy.

Caleb was so far ahead of the others he decided to do some new trailblazing in the area.  He had left his cell phone behind which was rare.  But what no one knew is Caleb had a plan that day to save he and his mother from the wiles of Cecil D. Crumbsworthy II.  You see there was a reason Caleb jaunted to the top of the mountain ahead of his friends.  Caleb needed time to put his plan into action and he did just that.  He had also looked ahead and left a note in a fireproof bag for the people of Huntington Glen to know the truth about his father. 

Caleb brought with him several rounds of dynamite in hopes of changing the course of the river away from their home.  His father Cecil had built a two-story office adjacent to the house where he stayed most of the time.  He left Caleb and his Mother to the darkness of the river and its fear.  He was a mean person who used unkind words and deeds to maintain his control over his family and anyone who chose to be around him making him a target for hatred by many.  Caleb knew this and had planned to use it.

When his friends made it to the crescendo, he entertained them for a time and then as dusk fell upon the day, he shared with the guys he wished to stay up top the mountain for the night, that he had come prepared.  Michael and Shawn, his buddies, had never heard of him doing this before but he convinced them with what he had inherited from Cecil in terms of the positive side of manipulation. And so, after a time of playful nonsense the boys trekked back down Bear Mountain to the safety of their homes in Huntington Glen leaving Caleb to spend a peaceful night under the stars with no worries at all.  Little did they know what Caleb had in mind.

Caleb being an honor student thought he had figured it all out. He had checked out books on engineering and how to but he was not a water resource engineer, nor was he a structural bridge engineer, nor was he a civil engineer, but boys who want their father dead will claim to be one of the above or whatever works to attain the outcome. 

And so, Celeb set out to kill his Father.   The man who didn’t care a bit about his mother or him.  Only his stupid loud mean dark river that would frighten even the fish that had to enter a house outside their main habitat, swim through mazes of concrete and trap doors that held back the force of the river maintaining it so the house remained steadfast on its foundation.  Everyday was insecure for him knowing what he knew. 

Caleb only shared his secret inside that fireproof bag in hopes someone would find it and tell the world the truth.  The truth about the man he hated to call father. Cecil D. Crumbsworthy.  Interesting how sometimes a name means more than it should and in this case it fit.

And so, Caleb set about his plan to change the course of the river to bypass their home and furiously move to the West and demolish his father and his fathers two story office building he so kindly built for himself leaving the furious river to someday their demise.  Little did he know his son had the simple skills of an engineer without training.  A kid good at physics and fireworks and that is all that was needed. Not a large group of hired men from all over the world could save his mother but he could. And so, he set forth placing the dynamite he got online for a fake rocket project of which he embellished to fit his needs.  Over the past few days, he had strategically placed dynamite with remote control devices attached, in various areas to change the flow of the river his father had developed to kill he and his mother.  Caleb had found his father’s little black book with numerous additions of proof his father was a sex trafficker as well as having multiple affairs. 

Sadly, Crumbsworthy’s reverse plan was in place. 

Of course, Caleb didn’t realize his father knew of his plan because he intervened in his computer and had already devised a way around it.  He had removed Caleb’s dynamite and reversed the process meaning the river would take out the house, his mother, and Caleb in the process.

`That evening Caleb removed his shoes, clothes, all but his undershorts. His thinking was he could find his way down the river to his mother and safety but his plan failed. He forgot one important factor, his father’s evil ways. Always backing up every plan more than once.  Caleb had not backed up his plan at all. And when he pushed the remote control to change the course of the river it blew up likened a mushroom cloud taking Caleb downstream ramming him into his childhood coffin along with his mother. Caleb knew what had transpired as he cascaded downward to his death.  Oddly he and his mother were found at the base of the mountain near Huntington Glen at the cemetery where his grandparents lay at rest.  Odd but fact. Sometimes our loved ones help us at the end and this time was one of those. 

Caleb’s father did not go free because the contents of the firesafe waterproof bag were found by a local who turned them in to the Sheriff.  Cecil was arrested for sex trafficking and attempted murder of his wife and son.  The local University renamed one of its Buildings Caleb Hall, University of Huntington Glen. Forever remembered as a hero.

There was a sister, Corina, who lived with her mother’s aunt due to Cecil’s unhealthy lifestyle.  She came to the funerals and to veiw the walls of Caleb Hall. She also visited the mountain where her brother passed away.  She had heard he placed his basketball shoes on posts at the top of the mountain so everyone knew he had been there no matter what happened.  The Chamber of Commerce showed Corina where more than one thousand pair of shoes were placed along the river on posts as well as around campus.  Kids were placing their shoes on posts everywhere in honor of Caleb’s love for his mother and for taking his evil father out of the world’s way. 

Friday, July 30, 2021

Stuck to the Toilet.....by Julianna Rowe


I have a business called "A Green Experience," which  means my clients choose to have their homes cleaned using all natural green cleaning supplies.  I have seen everything from "erp" and I dont mean Wyatt, in bathroom trash containers, to enough dog hair from one cleaning to make forty wigs. Okay so four wigs.  But I'll never tell.

  
The other day one of my clients came to my helper and asked her if she could clean the green cleaner off his toilet seat after she cleans it with the green cleaner.
 
She said, "Sure, but why?"

He said, "Because I got stuck to it!"

I couldn't stop laughing because I wanted to say, "No, its not the green cleaning solution, its that you sit too long sir! You have stacks of magazines, crossword puzzles, and pens, heck it looks like an office next to the toilet.  My Grandpa used to say, "Either sit there and think, or sit there and stink."  Sorry but he was an old farmer and when I was old enough to read I saw that written "A tad differently on the old outhouse wall.


There really was an old Sears catalog in Pa's outhouse for the purpose of wiping tail. I used to crumple up the pages and rub them together so they were softer for obvious reasons. I was six years old and if you have never wiped your bum with a page from a Sears catalog you have missed out on a piece of life.  But then I have never used a leaf out in the woods and I figure I have not missed out on a darn thing.

Okay so back to what I have seen.  Sweat so thick on walking machines it is yellow and no I will not clean that up! I have seen closets I wouldn't let anyone see.  Now I know why my friends always cleaned up before the cleaning lady comes.  I love it when I see a beautiful black flat stove someone used as if it were a campfire.  And I am supposed to figure out how to get a quarter of an inch of black charred crust off it?  But I'll never tell.  How about teenagers rooms where you cant see the floor for the clothes, glasses of water, moldy bowls, and trash with spiders. Although this one I understand totally. One of my clients told me I forgot to dust off the top of the furnace regular.  Yet the inside of his closet looks like a trash bin.  But I'll never tell.  Once I got fired for cleaning the cats water fountain which was not fit for carp. Guess they forgot the times I cleaned up their cats pueck. You have to laugh at the ridiculousness. 

Then there are those people who have been blessed financially but do not care about what they have been blessed with.  I am speaking of the tangible items their money buys them.  I am in awe of the number of shoes people have, the organic foods, the pottery and artwork, the remodeling projects, the closets larger than my master bedroom, the seven bathrooms, and so on.  But I'll never tell because I get paid for it.  I keep in mind that I nurture their homes and that is my job. Whatever they do with it beyond that I can only watch for the humor of it.  

In truth most all my clients are amazing and I have been truly blessed. 💓

The good stories out way all the fourteen years of people stuck to their toilet seats.  Like the hundred stuffed animals we set up and "make happy."  The children look forward to coming home from school to see the new set up every time.  The people that paid me when I had cancer surgery.  The clients that paid me during the two - three months of lock down during the pandemic. The fresh eggs waiting for me  from the backyard chickens. But, the Christmas bonus's are the most "bestest!"  I am very blessed.





Thursday, July 29, 2021

Life On Mars

That was an old TV show and it made me nervous. Remember P.S. Bell, my deceased old man friend said I was neurotic and such. No I am not, my Mother is. LLOL (Lord laughing out loud!) When I used to watch  Life On Mars, the guy was stuck in 1973. They didn't have computers, cell phones, or the ability to check DNA for crimes although they did have racial problems, and women's rights issues. Basically its a mess for someone who has 2021 wisdom and lives in 1973. Whalla....isn't that the same as me? I could do that reality TV and do it daily because I had more fun in 1973 so I run on back there in my brain whenever needed or not needed. Some people do Zen or Chi, but I did and do Doo Wop. 
You know back then it cost a million bucks and you got 20 CD's by mail of Doo Wop music. Now its $6.50 a month for Sirius XM with a zillion channels that make me so happy. So happy I used to dance with my bedpost all night.  I had a hand carved Cherry Wood Rice Bed shipped here from Europe. Or so the furniture store sales-man told me. And I like what he told me so I bought it and kept it...the story and the bed. That bedpost was not only good for re-cycled gum, it was good for playing dance partner. And much easier. It had no brains or other anatomical parts, which I preferred at that time. Do recall I was playing "Duck"  back then which meant I was "Going with the Flow" of life. But the "calling" BACK continued.. I Only Have Eyes for You....Only You... The Duke of Earl....Blue Velvet..... Runaway..... Diana.......The Wanderer....Jack and Diane.......and so on. Doo Wop makes me happy. I think it was a time when life was better as well as I could seriously more agile for doing the jitter bug and could sing better.
We all need that happy place and I still get it through memories of music. And would you believe back then I was be one of the only humans left on earth with no CD player in my car. Nope, nada, none. But I do now, along with built in Sirus XM because this is not Mars, it is Earth and I live in America where CD car players and built in everything in cars are everywhere like Peanut Butter and Jelly. I love Peanut Butter and Jelly! 
This Duck is going to bed..... tomorrow brings new clients and Life on Mars-America along with solutions. 
I love you, whoever you are. Really I do. And make note we are not going to that place of Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Who cares.
And note "Gum revives it flavor on the bedpost overnight!" Just kidding that's gross.

Sunday, July 25, 2021

Pancreatic Cancer.

Today and the past couple weeks have been very sad for me when I received the news a dear friend of mine has stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I was in great hopes this person would have a couple years to live but as the testing moves forward I am not so sure.  In fact I am afraid.  How dare I be afraid?  Your right.  It's my time to be strong for this person, not afraid.  Well fuck that!  I am afraid for this person and for me and so many others.  

My person has never been in love in their six decades on earth. They have been married, have children, had their own business's, own a beautiful large home in the country, spend a lot of time creating beautiful landscaping projects.  Have a grandchild.  And fell in love recently with someone in the midst of a divorce.  They both found a precious love in one another.  They have communicated for over a year with no copulation.  Kisses, Kindness, and Caring.  Meeting in dark parking lots.  Both waiting with great anticipation for the day they can begin their lives together. 


That is just some of the hours spent by my friend in the sanctuary of my friends yard.  

And then.....PAIN led to doctor calls and appointments.  An ultra sound.  Results put on MyChart.  My friend read their future on the cold computer.  Lesions in the liver and tail of the pancreas.  Doctor call later in day saying in a frantic voice: 

 "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."   

Then a call later offering an appointment for a CT.  Nothing further from any doctors. 

CT day comes and my friend is sitting in the waiting room drinking white liquid and instructed to take an hour to do the above.  My friend texted me saying "AFRAID! And I dont even have a fucking doctor!" And that was the truth.  After several hours back home she received more My Chart news.  Metastasized from pancreas to liver to lungs. And no phone call.  Just a death sentence online.   Guess that is what our medical system has come to?  Our political system is in the shitter as well. 

Let me also say another dear friend just lost her husband unexpectedly to a rare disease.  It was expected but not so soon!  After 54 years together. And now this.  Its not that our age isn't appropriate for such incidents, it's that I was not prepared.  Who ever is! 

This has affected my life in the living realm. I recently ended a near six year relationship with someone I dearly loved.  There are days I feel tremendous guilt for my part in the ending mostly due to a severe attitude adjustment regarding life and death.  Not because it shouldn't have ended, but because of how it did.  Love isn't hurting another person. I lived by that until the end......Just shoot me that now I have to live with the fact I didn't live by my own values!! It may have been deserved but no matter!!  And should I die before I wake, it's too late.  

Back to the point at hand on the keyboard.  I have offered to make "Life Books" for the grandchild and the love my friend will leave behind.  I am angry at the loss that hasn't happened yet.  I am angry at the love unfulfilled.  Most of us dont get the chance to find it.  I lost it last year in the living and my friend is losing it to death. To something unknown. How dare I ever be afraid of a clanking MRI tube again.  How dare I ever be afraid of one damn thing again.  BECAUSE IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE PERFECT. IT CAN JUST BE WHAT IT IS.   Life.  Never throw Love away if there is an ounce of it left.  Loss is a bitch.  Dead or Alive.  There is a REWARD.  Savor it for your time may be limited on this earth.  

Maybe tomorrow I will write something more uplifting.  Today I cant do that. 

Saturday, July 24, 2021


 This photo of me was taken in December of 1987.  My fiancé bought it for me as a Christmas gift along with a very large diamond ring securing his future and killing mine, for a time anyway.  

I am a very sentimental person meaning I keep things forever that are meaningful to me or maybe someone else.  I kept my little girls best dresses in case she ever had a little girl.  I kept this beautiful nightgown and robe in my possession since that day.  Brand name is ENTICE by Bill Tice.  I googled it and found it to be VINTAGE on Etsy.  The robe goes for $13.00.  I was disappointed in the value for I had hoped something I had kept that long for no  real reason would be of greater value.  Nope, Nadda.  Junk. Four decades old junk.  Until today when my ten year old going on twenty visited me for a sleepover.

She loves to dig through all my shoes I no longer wear.  My makeup I no longer wear much of, my jewelry I no longer wear much of, and everything in my refrigerator which is fine. To my surprise she came out of the bathroom with a big Ta-Da! 

"Nana look at me!"  She was twirling around like a Princess. In fact she twirled so hard she went down and immediately back up she came dancing around like a Queen. She redid her hair over and over to look pretty for the picture shoot in her Nana's and Grandfathers memories.  Just hope that outfit didn't retain any old demons it sort of stands for.  Maybe I shoudda burned it.  O'well, too late! 

I told her that her Grandfather bought that for me before her mama was born.  I didn't tell her that may have been the reason they were all born. Bwah haha!  No seriously and no I didn't tell that truth. I just didn't tell. 

When people say to clean out the clutter, sometimes its okay to keep some of it, like this pretty silky make ya feel better robe ensemble. And so the camera shoot began during the sleepover dated today.  We pulled a memory and I hope that is all from 1987 to 2021.  Time capsule.  And here is his Granddaughter enjoying his gift.  He probably charged it !  Okay sorry...dont ruin a good thing when your on a roll.

She felt so beautiful.  I am glad I kept it.  She asked me to keep it until she gets taller and can fit into it better.  I sure will precious girl.  It certainly becomes you as it did me way back when. xxoo




Friday, July 23, 2021

Will it Hurt?

 




He left his hat.  I found it.

I wore it.

Made me smell closer.

Scared me.

Will it hurt?

No, it’s a hat.

But it called to me,

And it hurt. 


(To my friends and family/don't worry, I'm good, I wrote some of these last year!)

My Executive Order $$$$$$$$$$.......... by Julianna Rowe

  My Executive Order J$$$$$$$$$$ .......by Julianna Rowe Somewhere along the way, politics changed my signature. I realize that sounds like ...